Authentically Kinky (formerly known as What Women and Other Wonderful Humans Want)

There’s a lot more to me than just being a Seattle Mistress; I have hobbies just like everyone else, I am multidimensional.  
Why have I chosen to be a dominatrix? I thrive when I’m connecting with people and the best way I’ve found to do that, that fits for me personally, is through BDSM. It checks a lot of boxes for me. The trust that comes along with power exchange is very special, as is the unique bond between a sadist and masochist. The world of BDSM, Dominants and submissives, Mistresses and a slaves is often hidden in the shadows- You might be surprised by who you know is kinky. It’s my job to keep that secret and provide that safe space for my lucky playmates to not feel judged and feel safe, all while pushing the limits of what their bodies and minds can, will and want to handle.  
Below is a video interview where I ask a bunch of strangers about their kinks. I hope that gives you an idea about me and how I interface with others.
You might recognize me from YouTube or a slew of BDSM websites- I have been in the Seattle BDSM scene as a Professional Dominatrix for nearly a decade. However, my story with kink starts earlier than that. You could say that I’m prolific or iconic, that is because I have spent years polishing and refining myself and my craft, a project which is never done. I take great pride in my presentation and my work and it my pleasure to share my knowledge, skill and twisted mind with you. I know you have many questions for me, let’s start with the basics. (If you aren’t familiar with my work, check out my videos on YouTube to get a feel for me. )
### Dominatrix Ruby’s Biography

I’ve been drawn to kink for as long as I can remember in one way or another. I was very drawn to knots and rope work and started playing with tying up my Barbies in elaborate ways after setting up whole scenes and roleplays around them. These roleplays had some interesting themes, I even remember shoving my very first Ken into a pink frilly ball gown and begging my mom to sew him into it when his massive waist split the seams of the satin fabric. I suppose I always had a non standard outlook, maybe I came out of the box weird? Either way I’ve enjoyed the ride.

I had a friend who I played with forced feminization tell me “You would be a great dominatrix” as he handed me and copy of The Stranger with Control Tower. This was how he introduced me to Mistress Matisse’s writings and this was the second time I had come across the word “dominatrix”. I had heard the word “dominatrix” before, as my mother had referred to an outfit she made. Then later on jokingly, she told me I would rather be that than a nun because I wanted to punish people with rulers and I told her I wanted to be a teacher. Naturally, she told me that being a teacher in the early 2000’s did not allow for corporal punishment (certainly not at my very liberal arts school) so she told me I should consider being a nun. Quickly, with a laugh she said I definitely wasn’t cut out for that then said I should be a dominatrix instead. I think she was joking but then she gave me a couple of whips so who knows how serious she was.

Another one of my early influences as a budding Dominatrix was Xenia Onatopp. I don’t know how anyone watching Golden Eye couldn’t watch her powerful legs holding men captive and hear her seductive Russian accent and not be swayed be her murderous charms.

From a young age my mother was very supportive of my alternative choices and if I didn’t know any better I would have assumed she was nudging me towards the femdom lifestyle; She would encourage me to take on a state of mind where women ruled things and encouraged matriarchy, (maybe not for the best) talked down to men cut her off in traffic by insulting their genitals, gave me whips and taught me how to use them, to name a few. If that’s not a good jumping off point, I don’t know what is. However, if you ask my mother about BDSM she vehemently denies any interest.


### How I became a Professional Dominatrix

I got into kink officially through members of the BDSM scene over 10 years ago although my duration as a professional dominatrix has been a bit shorter. I began spreading my wings and exploring through classes, workshops and parties and shortly after started playing with my first real “sub” of my own. I’ve had several I could call my own over the years and through their dedication and loyalty I’ve had the opportunity to grow, learn and hone my skills. I didn’t get start as a real time professional dominatrix until shortly there after where in I began exploring kink and myself even more and the fun really began for me. I explored many venues, some good and some not so much my taste. Due to my curiosity I carry a long list of qualifications.

I started off in Phoenix, AZ but didn’t really get involved in the BDSM scene until I came back to my hometown of Seattle, WA. I joined the local community and made a lot of fabulous connections with wonderful kinky people through local event spaces and Fetlife. I found people who mentored me, taught me and allowed me experiment before I had the courage to explore being a professional dominatrix. I discovered a passion for rope (Seattle is famous for its shibari scene, as is Vancouver, BC.) Then shortly there after discovered my love for sadism, reaction and connection. I think play is all about connection as its core and kink itself is a spectrum. When describing it to people who don’t understand I often use the ice cream analogy; Kink is like stepping outside the realm of just enjoying vanilla with adding different things. You can have vanilla praline, vanilla with fudge, etc. Once you open your mind to kink you can try any flavor you can dream up. The limits are your imagination and what you are willing to do with yourself and others. D/s is much the same as I think that all interactions have some type of power structure, even if it’s just neutral. D/s is just awareness of that and playing with it.

I’ve heard the sentiment echoed over the years that an insecure person will try to prove themselves the most, or speak the loudest. I’m often very soft spoken and mild mannered although my words can be quite harsh if you’re paying attention. I bend the world around me to will, I do it effortlessly. Ever heard the quote “speak softly and carry and big stick”?

Mia Action is a professional Dominatrix, lifestyle sadomasochist and alternative sexuality consultant based in Philadelphia and South New Jersey. Mia has been formally involved in the alt sex community since 2017, but has been drawn to the margins of desire from a young age. While her class roster is varied, she has a particular predilection for discussing sadomasochism of all kinds, power exchange, and the psychology of BDSM. Mia is also passionate about educating the public on kink literacy and sex work.

**Solo Darling is an accomplished professional wrestler who has performed internationally for a plethora of promotions and taken on many of today’s top stars like Heidi Lovelace (AEW’s Ruby Soho), Shayna Baszler of the WWE, AEW’s Kris Statlander and more. 

She is currently a student focusing on neuroscience and positive psychology with a minor in creative writing currently attending University of Pennsylvania. While immersing herself in her love for wrestling, Solo has recently opened up an OnlyFans platform and uses the site to provide a safe space to explore intimacy, vulnerability, kinks and all the awkwardness and humor sex encompasses. 

Solo’s interests in empathy and the human experience have propelled her into the realm of positive psychology and neuroscience. Solo finds freestyle poetry and writing to not only be a form of expression, but a valuable tool in her role as an empathy activist. Which includes the practice, development, study of empathy, and sharing these findings  with the intention to increase well-being collectively.

While onlyfans has become a very prevalent institution in recent years, Solo feels she brings a unique and personalized approach to her subscribers. 

You can connect with Solo on the following platforms:

Onlyfans.com/solodarling

Instagram: @regulationsolodarling  

Hello, I'm Rosie Kay.
The girl behind ThisKindaGirl.
I’m a non-monogamy and swinging lifestyle coach. I’m here to help people talk about their sexual needs openly so they can have meaningful and satisfying relationships built on trust and honesty.

Over the last ten years, I have learned that there is not a one size fits all approach when it comes to relationships. And I believe we humans flourish when we put aside traditional ideas about what society dictates our lives should be like and start approaching relationships and sexuality from a different angle.

I'm the girl who has had to overcome self-comparison and insecurity and put aside her initial reservations and fears.  

The girl who a few years ago was so insecure in her relationships that she used to deny herself what she craved out of fear of upsetting her partner.

The girl who used to be so jealous that it became almost debilitating within pre-existing monogamous relationships.

**I used to believe that my journey started ten years ago, but in reality, it started a lot earlier than that.**

Over the last ten years, I have discovered how to navigate the swinger lifestyle and overcome many obstacles and difficulties, to the point where I can now confidently say, ‘_I know a lot about Ethical Non-Monogamy and open relationships, let me teach you.’_

However, it’s the process that I went through _prior_ to the last ten years that was the starting point for everything that followed. 

My relationship anxiety, my insecurity, and accepting my sexuality have all played a part in where I am today.  

I now want to share with people like yourself that having the desire to open up your relationship or explore other types of relationships is possible. Not only will I teach you how to do this successfully whilst keeping your relationship intact, but I will also help you understand why you feel this way in the first place.

A large part of the journey starts with acceptance. Acceptance that we are responding to our bodies' natural urges and that placing all expectations on one partner for the rest of their lives is very unrealistic.

So, sit back and dive deep into Ethical Monogamy with me.   

 

**Rose Caraway is a native Northern California writer, editor, audiobook narrator, publisher, and podcaster for the #1 Erotica show in iTunes, The Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast. She freely celebrates and cultivates eroticism with her Lurid Listeners of the KMQ. Rose’s writings prominently show her commitment to both feminism and masculinism. She believes that people of all genders and orientations should be considered complementary and interdependent and are necessary for a genuinely healthy and functional society. Rose’s other passions revolve around her soul mate and co-host, Big Daddy—Dayv Caraway. She’s also studying to earn her Master Beekeeper certification.**

About The Author
Sherelle Kitchen is a poet and spoken word artist. As a motivational speaker, she seeks to help others transform their lives through her personal journey. Sherelle has served as the keynote speaker for crisis intervention training with first responders, helping them to improve their understanding of mental health obstacles, challenges and experiences. She also spends her time mentoring at-risk youth and teaches a creative writing workshop to students with the objective of teaching them how to own their feelings and channel their experiences in a positive and healthy way. She discovered her love of writing at the age of 11, and knew immediately that she wanted to share her gift. From a young age into adulthood, Sherelle built her view of the world from a unique and creative set of lenses. Piece-by-piece, she not only reveals intimate parts of herself in her writing, but also challenges others to uncover their true selves through motivation and empowerment. She is a mirror to so many other’s truths, and wants nothing more than to help those who are afraid to express themselves authentically. Sherelle finds power in three words “Emancipation,” “Strength” and “Transformation.” It is these three words that are meaningful to her in that through self-introspection she has been able to free herself from the weight and bondage of fitting into societal boxes, labels and views, realizing that her experiences have not and do not make her a victim but are a reflection of her strength and ability to endure and that every day is an opportunity for her to transform into the woman she is meant to become. She is ever growing and ever changing.
For as long as she can remember, spoken word and poetry has sustained her more than any other genre. With her simply complex rhythmic tone, she connects with her audience by sharing relatable experiences and truths ranging from the basic growing pains of life to her experiences with mental health issues, addiction and domestic violence. Spoken word poetry is her true passion, just as the words she speaks are her livelihood; they are her experiences which come from deep in her soul. The expression of pain, joy, sorrow, loneliness, love and confusion are all inspirational and she transforms those feelings into words in a way that encourages her readers to reflect. This book “Salted Wounds, Scars and Tattoos: Bleeding from the Inside Out” describes her journey of becoming a woman and the rawness of how she survived and is still in the process of spreading her wings and becoming all that she is supposed to be in the face of her past and unforeseen future adversities.
Sherelle was born and raised in Albany, New York and currently lives in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Chicago based visual artist and dominatrix Mara Mayhem has traveled the practicing her craft and making submissives fall at her feet. For over 16 years, she has challenged seasoned pros and corrupted novices with her  unique style of domination. 
  
As an inquisitive and highly educated person, Mistress Mara revels in being both alluring and intimidating. Her directness will skewer supplicants as fast as any whip.  
  
Mistress Mara’s passion for all forms of BDSM and fetish play is legendary but she revels in behavior modification, corporal punishment, and intense bondage. She will push boundaries while respecting limits; and she is always in control.
  
When not keeping wayward subs in line, Mistress Mara devours books, fine foods, and the occasional soul. She can be found at MaraMayhem.com and on twitter at @MaraMayhem777

a Goth based in the Chicago Suburbs, Lucie Sirene is young and fresh to the Pro Domme scene, and between making metal music, covering herself head to toe in PVC, and watching cult classic movie musicals, loves domination as a means of allowing her subs of all kinds to accept and fall in love with the part of their psyche that craves the taboo.

Mistress Mary is a Professional Dominatrix working in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. She is like no other D type you've met. A sadist, sensualist, and caring Domme who genuinely wants to make your dreams come true. With a captivating smile, you will be wondering what kinky activity she has in store for you... but be forewarned, if you make a mistake, you will be punished.  
  
She has continuously dedicated her free time to learning, exploring, and perfecting all things kinky! Trust in her to push your limits, learn new kinks and fetishes, and experience a new level of passion.  She creates an environment where her subs feel safe to explore and keep honest communication flowing.   
  
From Mistress Mary, "I'm extra unique, my whole aura screams talent.  I can't wait to meet you and explore your fetishes! Together, we will push your limits past your wildest dreams. Dream big, then dream bigger."
  

Dirty Lola is a sex edutainer, speaker, and self-proclaimed dildo slinger. Known for her live sex ed Q&A show Sex Ed A Go-Go and as co-host of New York Magazine’s web series “Sex Probz”, Lola has spent almost a decade working to end the stigma and shame surrounding sex and sexuality. Having started her journey sharing personal discoveries with polyamory and kink online, Lola now uses her knowledge, warm candor, and public platforms to teach the masses in-person and to rapt Internet audiences.
  
In addition to her educational projects, Lola is also the creative director of Spectrum Journal an online magazine offshoot of the female-owned online sex shop, Spectrum Boutique based in Detroit, and has brought her unique brand of sex-positive sex education to the Netflix docuseries The Principles of Pleasure and to brands such as B-Vibe, Spencers Gifts, and Math Magazine.
Thalia Mavros is an award-winning filmmaker, director, and media executive turned entrepreneur. She is the founder of The FRONT,a documentary studio that aims to challenge the cultural status quo by supporting thought-provoking non-fiction work on a diverse range of topics. Most recently, she created and executive produced the groundbreaking new Netflix documentary series _The Principles of Pleasure_. With premieres at Tribeca, Cannes, SXSW, and LAFF, she’s won multiple awards along the way, including numerous Webbys, Adweek’s “Changing the Game” Award, and Audience Awards at LA Film Festival and New Orleans Film Festival. Previously, she was the first executive creative director at VICE. Thalia is passionate and curious about the natural world and can be found diving among sharks when not in The FRONT’s Brooklyn or Los Angeles offices.