The Hard Truth Is --- The Bible Doesn't Mention That Joseph Did Anything Wrong.
Throughout The Course Of My Life, Fear Of Rejection Was Something That Ruled Over Me. You See, My Mom Was A Bit Of A Perfectionist. It Rubbed Off On Me As Well. Most Times Whenever Things Weren't Fashioned/Executed The Way She Liked Them, She'd Make You Feel It. Sometimes With Aggressive Words--- Sometimes Literally. You Might Be Asking What This Has To Do With Anything. I Wouldn't Turn Down The Idea Of It Being The Root Cause Of What Was Once My Greatest Fear. I Wanted Everything I Cared About To Be Perfect. I Never Wanted To Make A Mistake (Ever). I Could Never Tarnish My Image With Something As Humane As A Mistake. Lol. My Mother's Discipline Programmed Me To The Rationale That All Mistakes Led To Extreme Consequences. In Effect, I Adapted This Concept And Applied It To All My Relationships. Due To The Validation I Sought Out In Everyone I Came Across, It Led To Me Being A People Pleaser As Well. See The Only Times Things Went Smooth, Were When My Mother Was Happy. Otherwise, (Let's Just Say You'd Know.) To Minimize Confrontation, You Had To Follow Her Rules To A Tee. Like I Said Before, She Was A Perfectionist. I Now Realize That This May Have Something To Do With The Reason I Used To Over Exert Myself In Relationships Where The Effort And Energy I Was Putting In Wasn't Reciprocated. I Was Programmed To Believe That If The Other Party Wasn't Happy, Then It Had Something To Do With Me --- That I Was The Problem. How Wrong Was I? As A Child, Religion Was Forced On Me. I Was In Church Up Until 9th Or 10th Grade. The Seeds Of The Word Of God Were Years Instilled In Me; However God-Like Principles Weren't Necessarily Being Modeled In Front Of Me. In Effect, They Didn't Strongly Resonate With Me Growing Up. With That Being Said, I Was Totally Ignorant To The Idea Of God's Grace. Or Being "In His Favor." My Upbringing Was Strongly Rooted In Pride, So It Made It Very Hard For Me To Accept Anything That I Hadn't Felt Like I'd Earned. My Life Revolved Around My Accomplishments And Accolades. This Caused Me To Resent Or Sometimes Even Self Sabotage Certain People And Things That I Would Consider Resourceful Or Beneficial To My Life. As The Saying Goes: Damaged People, Damage People. When I First Gave My Life To God, I Was Still Operating Out Of My Childhood Traumas. Because Of This, I Served God With The Same Approach That I Served Others With. I Tried Earning His Approval --- Trying To Make Him Happy Through My Works. When I Felt Like I Was Doing Enough To Make Him Happy, I Was Content. Whenever I'd Sin, I'd Feel Like He Hated Me. Since Then, I've Been Continuously Growing In My Faith. With The Passing Of Each Day, I Am Gaining More And More Of An Understanding Of What God Means In Jeremiah 1:5, When He Says, "Before I Formed You In The Womb I Knew You, Before You Were Born I Set You Apart; I Appointed You As A Prophet To The Nations.” Immediately After Jesus' Baptism, God Declared, “This Is My Son, Whom I Love; With Him I Am Well Pleased.” The Lord Approved Jesus Before He Even Began His Ministry. Before Any Miracle. I Now Recognize That This Same Authorization Applies To Me And You As Well. Recently, God Closed A Chapter In The Book Of My Life And Ever Since, Things Have Been Strangely Looking Up For Me. It Almost Seems Too Good To Be True If I'm Being Honest. For The Past Couple Of Weeks, I've Been Staying In Gary Indiana, Trying To Wrap My Head Around What God Is Currently Doing In My Life. I Encourage You All To Tune In And Hear For Yourself How God Has Been Actively Working In, Around, And Through Me In The Last Year. Hopefully, My Story Will Inspire Someone, Somewhere, So That They Too Chase Him --- Chase Him Hard. Harder Than Anything Else In Life. God Bless !!! Stay Awake !!!
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