B Movie Breakdown

This week we bring a a quick half episode with Corey flying solo while Cyborg Nick is temporarily out of commission. But don’t worry, as he will be fully rebooted just in time for Episode 131 where we will discuss Surviving The Game from 1994. In this halfsie, Corey gives some brief thoughts on a few recent and not so recent movies he saw over the past weekend. We will be back with a brand new full episode next week!

This week on we lose our minds with the 1988 film Brain Damage from the director of Basket Case. In the film, average guy named Brian, who lives in New York City, becomes dependent on an evil, disembodied creature named Alymer. Alymer feeds Brian a narcotic substance in exchange for his unwilling assistance in obtaining the brains of innocent victims for sustenance. If you couldn’t tell, this movie is one giant allegory for drug addiction and a bloody one at that. We highly recommend checking this one out, for sure.

Technocrat world invaded by imperial forces wanting to bring their way of life to a planet that wanted to live in peace or an oppressed people transformed into machines by a dominating queen only to be set free by the king of pop and his crew of rhythm spreading patriots? Pick your narrative. We carry on with our fortnight of Michael Jackson with Captain EO. A George Lucas scribed, Coppola directed 80’s space spectacle.

Those of you who have seen this film know exactly why we chose it and those of you who haven’t seen this film are probably wondering why we chose to do a Michael Jackson music video movie. The thing is, it is so much more than just music videos. Sure it starts out that way, but when halfway through he is being gunned down by terrorist organization [SPIDER] run by Mr. Big (played by Joe Pesci) and transforming into a car it explains exactly why we watched this movie for the podcast. The film also inspired an absurd arcade and SEGA Genesis video game that may be more infamous that the film itself.

Deep in the swamps of Florida dwells a creature so awe inspiring, so monumental, so…horny, when we heard about it we could not look away. Do you like low budget brutality, clever/terrible jokes, ape dick and a message around nature preservation and native American oppression? Then this is the movie for you. Did I mention ape dick? Yes. Yes I did. We rarely tackle films this close to their release date, as most b movies are relics of a time long gone or things so insignificant we missed them when they debuted-but not this week’s focus, 2017’s Swamp Ape, a welcomed addition to the fold of movies so terribly absurd you can’t help but adore them. Remember the ape dick. Never forget.

Our movie this week is regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. It is a product of it’s time, reminding us of other 90’s comedy classics such as The Pest and Blankman. It also fits under the “CTA” umbrella we’ve talked about recently on the podcast. But is it really all that bad? Did it win us over in the end? Is it not ok to just enjoy a stupid, whacky comedy from time to time? All of these important questions and more are answered throughout this episode. This review was inspired by Bijan Amin.

If you’ve been listening to the podcast you know we’ve been hyping this episode. There has been something ready to pounce. Something lurking behind us. Something biting at our heels. Something ready…to attack! This week we tackle Attack of the Killer Shrews brought to you by White Lion Studios, who were gracious enough to give us a sneak peek of their horror movie extravaganza. When Lloyd Kaufman graces the screen before the movie kicks off you know you are in store for one wild ride. You can buy a copy of Attack Of The Killer Shrews on DVD over at www.killershrewmovie.com.

This brings our Jason-A-Thon to a close. Our favorite post apocolyptic future where Earth has been ravaged by a changing climate (naturally occurring I’M SURE) where before the world fell apart Jason was left frozen in the Crystal Lake Research Facility (C.L.R.F.). Watching these movies has been a wild journey and one that truly finishes out of this world.

Today the episode goes to hell and this week so does everything else, including Jason. Much like how people view this Friday, it feels as if the Jason we knew is no longer the same. Someone just didn’t get the concept of Jason and decided to totally overhaul and destroy everything that made him fantastic. But Jason didn’t need changes. Not drastic ones. He wasn’t perfect, but he wasn’t broken. No reason to throw everything about him out the window. Watching older Jason movies gave me hope the franchise was going to good places, but in actuality there is nothing great about Jason in this movie at all. Jason couldn’t be made great again because he was already great.

Manhattan. Full of toxic sludge. Manhattan. Where gang members shoot you up with heroin and try to sexually assault you. Manhattan. Where previously mentioned toxic sludge fills the underbelly of the city at midnight because that’s a thing that happens. Manhattan. The Big Apple. Manhattan. The city that never sleeps. Manhattan. New York. The city…that is about to be brought to its knees thanks to a machete wielding maniac from camp crystal lake after he hitches a ride on two boats because where exactly is camp crystal lake again? Doesn’t matter. Manhattan is ripe for the taking and Jason is going to treat it like two Slavic hookers on a queen size bed-wet, messy and best left up your imagination.

If this movie was called Jason Takes A Boat To Manhattan I think history would treat it more appropriately, as the movie could always use more Manhattan but it’s still a welcomed edition to the Friday the 13th Franchise.