Are you selfish?

“Selfish” is supposed to be the insult that ends the conversation, especially for women who were raised to be helpful, agreeable, and endlessly available. We sit down with author Kerry Docherty to pull that word apart and rebuild it into something sharper and more useful: self-awareness, honest boundaries, and the courage to admit what you want before you burn out trying to be “good.” Her memoir, Selfish, becomes the jumping-off point for a raw talk about what it costs to keep giving yourself away and why telling the truth can be both selfish and deeply generous.

We dig into the trap of likability and the ways girls learn early to smooth everything over, including their own anger and ambition. Kerry reflects on privilege and what she has learned from people who have had to live more openly because the world already judges them. We also get practical about modern “self-care,” from doomscrolling dopamine to the quieter work of choosing what actually makes you feel alive, plus what it looks like to model emotional language and bodily autonomy for your kids.

If this conversation makes you uncomfortable, we think that is the point. Subscribe for more author interviews, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the one boundary you are ready to set next.

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Timestamps!

Here are chapter timestamps for the Kerry Docherty episode, in your voice:

00:01 Welcome and intro to Kerry Docherty and Selfish

00:37 Pub day nerves and why Selfish had to come out into the world now

03:32 Landing on the title, from The Lazy Wife to The Selfish Wife to Selfish

05:19 The double meaning of "self ish" and who Kerry is still becoming

06:26 Kerry's editor telling her she needed to be more likable, and why that felt like a compliment

08:46 Unpacking the pressure to be likable and who gets to be free of it

11:58 Teaching her daughter not to shrink to fit

13:14 The two wolves story and turning the lights on in the dark basement

15:20 What's actually so wrong with being selfish? Reframing it as choosing what makes you feel alive

16:36 Setting boundaries with parents and the real cost of protecting yourself

17:53 Watching her mom move to India to become a yoga teacher, and what that shift revealed

19:26 Modeling selfishness for her kids by naming her own emotions out loud

21:10 The lie of selflessness as the path to a perfect life

22:00 Filling your own cup while the laundry piles up, and letting go of the shame math

25:36 Founding Faherty with her husband Alex and brother-in-law Mike, and the psychic who called it

27:20 Couples therapy over salary negotiations and the strain of family business

29:39 Meeting Bo at Coachella and the years-long emotional entanglement that followed

31:38 Longing, fantasy, and the unawakened artist Bo mirrored back to her

32:00 Did she ever consider leaving Alex? On survival mechanisms and always keeping an escape route

33:04 Reframing marriage from a contract for life to choosing each other every day

34:45 Selfishness and privilege, and why the white wellness industry got self-care wrong

36:04 The self is not an individual, community as the real antidote to loneliness

37:41 Early feedback on the book and what "brave" really means

38:31 Alex reading the book, and the intimacy that came from being fully seen

41:36 How Kerry stays hopeful

42:16 Her emotional support bad habit (dead things on the beach)

43:47 Where to find Kerry and how to buy the book

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Brandy Norwood’s memoir, Phases, is the kind of celebrity memoir that makes you grateful for the music and furious about the machine behind it. My friend Kate and I revisit Brandy’s cultural landmarks like Moesha, Cinderella, and “The Boy Is Mine,” then zoom out to the bigger question: what happens when an industry profits from a “good girl” image and leaves no room for a young Black woman to be human, messy, or still becoming.

A big thread is the tension between what Brandy says and what she seems to avoid saying. We talk about how Phases feels careful, as if certain bridges still cannot be burned, even decades later. But we also highlight the memoir’s strongest emotional material, especially around identity and image. When the memoir does go deep, it hits hard. 

The takeaway is not that Phases answers everything, but that it opens the door to better questions about artistry, survival, and what reclaiming your narrative really costs.

Purchase Phases by Brandy

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Thank you for listening!

xx, Alex

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She graduates near the top of her veterinary class and still couldn't get hired... because she’s a woman! That’s where our conversation with memoirist Linda Rhodes begins and it only gets more vivid, entertaining, and frustrating from there.

Linda and I talk about her book Breaking the Barnyard Barrier: A Woman Veterinarian Paves the Way and the reality of becoming a large animal veterinarian in rural Utah when sexism isn’t subtle, it’s stated out loud in job interviews. Linda takes us through the early spark that pulled her into farm work, to the gatekeeping she faced getting into vet school, to the pressure of being “the test case” for whether women can do the job. Along the way, we sit with the unglamorous truth of dairy cow medicine: freezing nights, no hospital nearby, no backup, and decisions that carry real consequences for animals and farmers.

We also go deep on the memoir writing process. Linda shares why her mother’s death pushed her to write, how she learned to stop writing like a scientist and start writing like a storyteller, and how she chose what grief to put on the page and what to keep private. From there, the story widens into career reinvention, women in leadership, animal health pharmaceuticals, entrepreneurship, and what it looks like to build a family-friendly workplace that actually works.

If you care about women in STEM, gender bias at work, memoir, veterinary medicine, or the kind of resilience that’s earned day after day, this conversation will stay with you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the moment that hit you hardest.

Purchase Linda Rhode's "Breaking the Barnyard Barrier"

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Feather in Her Cap Award

Thank you for listening!
Xx, Alex

Connect with us and suggest a great memoir!

Follow us on instagram! @babesinbooklandpod 

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Is life destiny or choice?

"Drink from the Nile" is a phrase in Egypt that promises if you drink from the Nile river, you’re destined to return. Katya Dunko's memoir, named for this phrase, is her refusal to let destiny be controlled by generational trauma. She broke the chain.

We talk about the real story behind her jaw-dropping book: growing up in post-Soviet Ukraine, being stowed away on a train as a child, surviving a decade of opioid addiction, and later fleeing an abusive marriage in Egypt with her daughter. Katya doesn’t frame herself as flawless or “inspiring” in a neat way. She names the shame, the people-pleasing, the desperate search for love, and the terrifying moments where her safety is on the line. If you care about women’s memoir, addiction recovery stories, trauma healing, and what it takes to rebuild after emotional abuse, this conversation goes there with honesty and heart.

We also get practical about the craft and the aftermath: what it’s like to spend seven years writing a trauma memoir, why she chose a pen name, how self-publishing forced her to learn everything from editing to marketing, and why narrative therapy helped her reframe her past into resilience instead of ruin. The biggest takeaway is simple and hard: pain spreads unless someone breaks the chain.

Listen, then share this with a friend who needs a reminder that a clean slate is possible. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us what “real strength” means to you now.

Purchase Katya Dunko's "I Drank From the Nile"

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Thank you for listening!

Xx, Alex

Connect with us and suggest a great memoir!

Follow us on instagram! @babesinbooklandpod 

Timestamps!

0:00 Introduction & about "I Drank from the Nile"

2:30 Why write a memoir instead of a novel?

5:30 Did writing it surprise you?

9:00 How did you mother yourself through writing this?

11:00 What does "I drank from the Nile" mean?

13:30 Why did you self-publish?

17:30 Can you set up your childhood for us?

22:00 How did you get from Ukraine to Alaska?

25:00 What were you internalizing about your own worth as a child?

29:30 Did anyone ever notice what was happening at home?

32:00 How did your mother first introduce you to opioids?

36:00 Why couldn't you stop for a decade?

40:00 What does the physical need for opioids actually feel like?

42:30 What made you decide to quit cold turkey?

46:00 Was there any mental health support available in Egypt?

48:30 Did you actually process the pain when you got sober?

53:00 Do you still have a relationship with your mother?

56:30 What did these men make you feel about yourself?

01:00:00 Who was Lucas and why did he matter so much?

01:05:00 Why Egypt of all places?

01:09:00 How quickly did you realize Egypt was dangerous?

01:13:00 Who was Rami and how bad did it get?

01:17:00 How did you meet Amir?

01:21:30 Did Amir ever actually want to go to America?

01:26:00 How did you escape Egypt with your daughter?

01:32:00 Was it Sophie who finally gave you the strength?

01:36:00 How have you capitalized on your clean slate?

01:40:00 What is narrative therapy and how did it help?

01:43:30 How do you stay hopeful?

01:45:30 What book has changed your life?

01:47:00 Next week: Linda Rhodes' memoir

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How do you break free of one legacy to cement your own? 

We’re back with a bite-sized Babes in Bookland mini review of Liza Minnelli’s memoir “Kid, Wait Till You Hear This,” and it’s equal parts warm, jaw-dropping, and quietly devastating. I went in expecting old Hollywood stories and iconic name-drops. I got those... but I didn’t expect a brutally honest look at what fame can cost a family behind closed doors.

I talk about Liza Minnelli the performer and cultural force: an EGOT-winning star of stage and screen, a voice people instantly recognize, and a public figure who showed up as an advocate during the AIDS crisis when many stayed silent. But the heart of her memoir is the private Liza, the daughter trying to survive a mother’s addiction and mental health storms while other adults fail to step in. Her pages on caretaking as a child, living with dread, and trying to “protect” a parent will hit especially hard if you’re an adult child of an addict or you’ve carried responsibilities that were never yours.

Liza’s account of her own substance use disorder and recovery, including rehab at the Betty Ford Center and the long road to real sobriety, is the most powerful part of the story and one of the most human celebrity memoir moments I’ve read. If you’re looking for a memoir podcast that blends pop culture with real conversations about addiction recovery, denial, resilience, and choosing life, this one’s for you.

Subscribe for more women’s memoir reviews, share this episode with a friend, and leave a review so more readers can find the show. What’s one “yes” you need to tell yourself today?

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Also visit the online treatment locator, or send your zip code via text message: 435748 (HELP4U) to find help near you.

Purchase Liza Minnelli's "Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!"

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Xx, Alex

Connect with us and suggest a great memoir!

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Author Ayana Lage joins the show to talk about Missing Me, her memoir of postpartum psychosis and the long road back. 

We talk about perfectionism as a coping strategy, anxiety as a lifelong undercurrent, and the exhausting need to be seen as “good” while feeling like you’re failing inside. Ayana shares how she turned hospital journals and medical records into a tightly crafted, nonlinear memoir, how she handled the fear of reviews, and what it means to tell the truth when your story includes your partner and your parents. We also get honest about how faith can comfort you and still leave you carrying guilt when mental health doesn’t improve, and why therapy and medication are not character flaws.

Then we widen the lens to the realities that raise the stakes: Black maternal health disparities, being dismissed in medical settings, and why support like a doula can matter. We clarify what postpartum psychosis can look like, why it’s different from postpartum depression or postpartum OCD, and how stigma harms mothers, babies, and families when people don’t know the signs. Ayana closes with the aftermath: releasing shame, planning a second pregnancy with care, making feeding choices without guilt, and finding joy in the mundane.

Subscribe, share this conversation with a friend, and leave a review if it helps you see postpartum mental health with more clarity and compassion.

Purchase Missing Me by Ayana Lage

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Thank you for listening!
Xx, Alex

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A memoir can feel like a mirror you didn’t ask for. 

We opened Christina Applegate’s and found an unvarnished account of survival: a child actor who worked to live, a dancer who prayed with her body, an artist who hid behind “Christina Applegate” until truth demanded center stage.  

We dig into the fault lines: body image and shame running alongside career highs; Sweet Charity on Broadway as a masterclass in grit after a brutal injury; pay inequity countered by quiet solidarity; and more. Her reflections on breast cancer and MS aren’t wrapped in “warrior” clichés.  If you’ve ever performed strength because the world is allergic to pain, her confession will help you feel seen.

We also sit with research tying childhood trauma to MS risk, not as final verdict but as a challenge to take our histories seriously. By the end, she rejects the persona and claims the name her people use—Kiki—then asks a question that lingers: Who are you?

Hit play for a thoughtful, unsentimental conversation about truth, trauma, dance, illness, craft, and the fragile alchemy of happiness-with-sadness. If this moved you, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review telling us the line you can’t stop thinking about.

Purchase Christina Applegate's "You with the Sad Eyes"

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Thank you for listening!
Xx, Alex

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Think you know Demi Moore? Think again. 

My friend, Mackenzie, and I peel back the tabloid myths to trace a far more gripping arc: a child who found safety in hospital routines because home was chaos, a teenager forced to protect herself when the adults failed, and an artist who spent years equating value with a number on the scale while breaking box‑office ceilings and cultural taboos. Guided by Demi’s memoir Inside Out, we connect the dots between early trauma, addiction, codependence, and the relentless body scrutiny of Hollywood—and how those patterns transform when you finally choose yourself.

If this moved you, tap follow, share with a friend who loves smart memoir deep dives, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find the show. Your support helps us bring you more conversations that go beyond the headlines.

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Link to this episode’s book: Demi Moore's "Inside Out"

Other links:

What is Kabbalah?

Demi Moore's Vanity Fair cover & article

Xx, Alex

Connect with us and suggest a great memoir!

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Ever picked up a buzzy memoir and felt the heart was missing beneath the hype? 

I sit down with Ryley from the Little Miss Podcast to unpack Elyse Myers’ debut: the charming illustrations, a few resonant lines on anxiety and connection, and the recurring moments where the story stops just shy of reckoning. We wanted the hinge points—the cause, the cost, the change—and too often found stylized vignettes that try to entertain when they should have revealed.

From there, we widen the lens to the ecosystem that made this book possible. How has influencer culture reshaped our expectations for honesty, and our tolerance for ambiguity? We talk body image in the age of filters, the resurgence of pro-anorexia aesthetics dressed up as wellness, and a more sustainable posture of body neutrality and body awe. We get practical about family language, food without moral labels, and how to model healthier self-talk at home.

We also dig into parasocial bonds and why they feel so real, the consumerism treadmill that turns every feed into a storefront, and the ethics of featuring children online without meaningful consent or protection. Then comes the big question: Do creators owe a public stance when harm is plain to see? We don’t need comedians to become journalists, but acknowledging suffering, pointing to credible resources, and choosing empathy over silence matters—especially when your platform can direct attention toward help.

If you’re curious about what makes memoirs feel true, how to read past the gloss of virality, and where to draw firmer boundaries with the content you consume, this conversation is your map. 

Hit play, then tell us: what do you expect from a life story—and from the people you follow? Subscribe, share with a friend who loves book talk, and leave a review with your favorite memoir recommendations.

This Bonus episode is available for free this month! Thank you for supporting the show <3

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What does it mean to move shame back where it belongs? We dive into Gisele Pelicot’s A Hymn to Life: Shame Has to Change Sides—a memoir that confronts sexual violence, courtroom language, and public accountability while fiercely protecting the survivor’s right to joy. I trace Pellicot’s path from the shocking discovery of years of drugging and assault to the rare choice of an open hearing and the powerful moment when all fifty-one perpetrators were found guilty. Along the way, we sit with hard questions: how do institutions perpetuate harm through euphemisms, how can families process conflicting truths, and what does healing look like when love and betrayal share the same house?

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Link to this episode’s book:
A Hymn to Life by Gisele Pelicot

If you care about survivor justice and the cultural work of shifting blame off victims, this conversation is for you! Press play, reflect with us, and share your thoughts. If the episode moved you, subscribe, leave a review, and pass it on to someone who needs to hear it.

Xx, Alex

Connect with us and suggest a great memoir!

Follow us on instagram! @babesinbooklandpod 

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