159  Almost all of us instinctively approach our intimate relationships in mixed ways: ones that generate more loving intimacy and harmony, and ones that drive division and pain, which I call the Backfiring Tactics. 

To have the marriage you want, it will take cultivating more of the first, and minimizing those Backfiring Tactics. This is always one of the very first things I help my clients do, and I want you to be able to do the same.

The thing is, it can be hard to do, because the backfiring tactics can seduce you into believing you are acting “empowered”, when really it’s a completely false sense of power that’s actually hurting you and your marriage.

So, if you want to feel close, connected, and on the same loving team in life with your honey,  it’s essential to be on the lookout for these sneaky perpetrators of so much pain and division, so you can stop doing them and choose approaches that work SO much better in love.

Listen to this episode to hear the 7 primary Backfiring Tactics  (I’ve added a few since the first episode on them years back), and why we are so prone to them, and what exactly they look like in action, along with recommendations for other episodes to go deeper into each one,  so you can identify which ones you tend to fall prey to, and begin to put an end to them.

As you begin this process you will be moving out of the power-over dynamics that keep our marriages locked in painful cycles of struggle, and into the power WITH approaches, truly relationally empowered ones that make your marriage into one that continues to deepen over  time  in love, mutual respect, supportiveness, and joy.

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