Find me on www.balance-psychotherapy.org

Exploring feelings of absence in attachment patterns. This session is for those who experience a scary sensation of emptiness, falling or nothingness while meditating.

Find me on www.balance-psychotherapy.org

The Power of Connection:

We begin with a beautiful quote from Antoine de Saint Exupéry's "The Little Prince." The fox tells the prince, "to tame" is to create a bond. This quote perfectly introduces the idea of attachment – the way we form close relationships and connect with others.

Understanding Attachment Theory:

John Bowlby's Attachment Theory suggests that infants and young children seek safety and closeness with their caregivers. These caregivers act as a "secure base" – a foundation from which children can explore the world, knowing they can return for comfort and support.

Exploring Your Attachment Style: A Questionnaire

Now comes the exciting part – discovering your attachment style! Grab a pen and paper as we delve into a simple questionnaire based on Dynamic Interpersonal Therapy (DIT).

The Four Attachment Styles:

The questionnaire explores four main attachment styles. Here's a breakdown of each style along with the scoring system (1 = not like you, 7 = very much like you):

Style A:

Statement: "It's easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I'm comfortable depending on them and having them depending on me. I don't worry about being alone or having others not accept me."

Score yourself: 1 (Not Like Me) to 7 (Very Much Like Me)

Style B:

Statement: "I'm uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely or depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others."

Score yourself: 1 (Not Like Me) to 7 (Very Much Like Me)

Style C:

Statement: "I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I'm uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I somehow worry that others don't value me as much as I value them."

Score yourself: 1 (Not Like Me) to 7 (Very Much Like Me)

Style D:

Statement: "I'm comfortable with close emotional relationships, but it's very important to me to find independence and self-sufficiency. I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me."

Score yourself: 1 (Not Like Me) to 7 (Very Much Like Me)

Understanding the Results:

Style A - Secure Attachment

A high score in this style indicates a secure attachment pattern – a foundation for healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Style B - Anxious-Fearful Attachment

A high score in this style suggests an anxious attachment with a fearful pattern. You might crave closeness but struggle with trust and fear getting hurt.

Style C - Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

This style indicates an anxious attachment with a preoccupied pattern. You crave deep connection but might feel insecure or doubt your worth in relationships.

Style D - Avoidant Attachment

A high score in this style suggests an avoidant attachment pattern. You value independence and might struggle with emotional intimacy.

Once you've scored yourself on each style, you'll have a better understanding of your dominant attachment pattern. Remember, these are just general categories, and your style might be a blend of different types.

Beyond the Questionnaire: Disorganized Attachment

The DIT questionnaire doesn't cover the disorganized attachment pattern, which can stem from severe trauma or neglect. It's characterized by confusing and contradictory behaviours in relationships and difficulty with self-regulation. If you suspect you have a disorganized attachment, seeking professional help is recommended.

Importance of Attachment Style Awareness:

Understanding your attachment style can be incredibly helpful in your relationships. It allows you to recognize your own patterns and those of your partner, fostering better communication and empathy.

Find me at www.balance-psychotherapy.orgFOCUSSING: Simple Steps

Practise every day whatever you are doing, wherever you are:

1. Ask yourself: ‘How am I today? How am I really today?’
2. Clear the ‘clutter’ of unnecessary thoughts, plans and unimportant emotions.
3. Ask yourself again: How am I really today? Stay in touch with that unknown that Gendlin calls ‘murky zone’.
4. Find ‘a handle’ - a word or an image that describes how you are.
5. Stay in that space.
6. Ask the space: ‘What would you like?’, ‘What do you need?’
7. Accompany the space with compassion and kindness until ‘a shift’ happens.

Find me at www.balance-psychotherapy.orgFOCUSSING: Simple Steps

Practise every day whatever you are doing, wherever you are:

1. Ask yourself: ‘How am I today? How am I really today?’
2. Clear the ‘clutter’ of unnecessary thoughts, plans and unimportant emotions.
3. Ask yourself again: How am I really today? Stay in touch with that unknown that Gendlin calls ‘murky zone’.
4. Find ‘a handle’ - a word or an image that describes how you are.
5. Stay in that space.
6. Ask the space: ‘What would you like?’, ‘What do you need?’
7. Accompany the space with compassion and kindness until ‘a shift’ happens.

Find me at www.balance-psychotherapy.orgFOCUSSING: Simple Steps

Practise every day whatever you are doing, wherever you are:

1. Ask yourself: ‘How am I today? How am I really today?’
2. Clear the ‘clutter’ of unnecessary thoughts, plans and unimportant emotions.
3. Ask yourself again: How am I really today? Stay in touch with that unknown that Gendlin calls ‘murky zone’.
4. Find ‘a handle’ - a word or an image that describes how you are.
5. Stay in that space.
6. Ask the space: ‘What would you like?’, ‘What do you need?’
7. Accompany the space with compassion and kindness until ‘a shift’ happens.

Find me at www.balance-psychotherapy.orgFOCUSSING: Simple Steps

Practise every day whatever you are doing, wherever you are:

1. Ask yourself: ‘How am I today? How am I really today?’
2. Clear the ‘clutter’ of unnecessary thoughts, plans and unimportant emotions.
3. Ask yourself again: How am I really today? Stay in touch with that unknown that Gendlin calls ‘murky zone’.
4. Find ‘a handle’ - a word or an image that describes how you are.
5. Stay in that space.
6. Ask the space: ‘What would you like?’, ‘What do you need?’
7. Accompany the space with compassion and kindness until ‘a shift’ happens.

Watch on You Tube https://youtu.be/nuDFrNZftHQ?si=lrrGahpY1x3Sdmjl

The abdominal tapping technique is inspired by Kasia's research on the vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body, extending from the brainstem down to the abdomen, and plays a crucial role in regulating various bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, and emotional responses.

By tapping on specific points on the abdomen, you can activate the vagus nerve and promote a state of relaxation and balance in the body. The video demonstrates the tapping exercise.

You may also want to focus on the following points in the body:

Solar Plexus

Located just above the navel, this area corresponds to the solar plexus chakra, which is associated with personal power, self-esteem, and emotional well-being.

Navel

The area just below the navel corresponds to the sacral chakra. This area is linked to emotions, creativity, and sexuality.

Root Chakra

Tapping on the area just above the pubic bone, which corresponds to the root chakra. This chakra is associated with safety, security, and grounding.

1. **Reducing stress and anxiety** by activating the parasympathetic nervous system

2. **Improving digestion** by promoting proper gut function

3. **Enhancing emotional regulation** by modulating the limbic system

4. **Boosting immune function** by reducing inflammation

Remember to be gentle and consistent with the tapping. Experiment with different pressure levels and find what feels most comfortable for you. Incorporating abdominal tapping into your daily routine can be a simple yet effective way to support your overall well-being and promote a healthy, balanced nervous system.

Watch on You Tube https://youtu.be/H_hzl-fptpY?si=mhjqjdA5bkVD0vkw

EFT operates on the premise that unresolved emotional issues can cause blockages in the body's energy system. By tapping on these meridian points—typically on the face, hands, and upper body—while voicing affirmations or focusing on specific issues, individuals can alleviate emotional distress. The common tapping points include:

- **Karate Chop Point**: Side of the hand

- **Top of the Head**: Crown area

- **Eyebrow**: Inner edge of the eyebrow

- **Side of the Eye**: On the bone at the outer corner of the eye

- **Under the Eye**: On the bone directly under the eye

- **Under the Nose**: Between the nose and upper lip

- **Chin Point**: Midway between the lower lip and chin

- **Collarbone**: Just below the collarbone

- **Under the Arm**: About four inches below the armpit

Research into EFT has been growing, with various studies suggesting its effectiveness for a range of emotional and psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Some key findings include:

**Reduction in Anxiety and Depression**: Studies have shown that EFT can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression in participants, often with immediate results after a tapping session.

**Physiological Changes**: Research indicates that EFT may lead to physiological changes, such as decreased cortisol levels (the stress hormone), which suggests a reduction in stress response.

**Long-term Effects**: Some studies report that the benefits of EFT can be long-lasting, with participants maintaining reduced anxiety and improved emotional well-being even weeks after treatment.

**Mechanism of Action**: While the exact mechanisms are still being explored, EFT is thought to work by calming the amygdala (the brain's fear centre) and restoring balance to the body's energy system.

Overall, EFT represents a unique blend of psychological and physical approaches to emotional healing, offering a practical tool for individuals seeking relief from emotional distress. As research continues, EFT's place in therapeutic practices is likely to expand, providing more people with access to this innovative technique.

There does appear to be a connection between Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and neuroscience, particularly in the areas of brain activity and neurochemistry. While more research is needed, several studies have explored the potential neurological mechanisms underlying EFT's effectiveness:

**A 2012 study** found that EFT was associated with decreased activity in the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing fear and other negative emotions.

**Another study in 2013** showed that EFT led to increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in decision-making and emotional regulation, and decreased activity in the amygdala[2].

**Research has suggested** that EFT may lead to reductions in cortisol, the primary stress hormone. Lower cortisol levels are associated with reduced stress and anxiety.

**A 2016 study** found that EFT was linked to increased serotonin production. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that plays a role in mood regulation and well-being.

While the exact mechanisms are still being explored, researchers have proposed several ways in which EFT may influence the brain and nervous system:

1. **Stimulating acupressure points** may send signals to the amygdala and hippocampus, areas of the brain involved in processing emotions and memories.

2. **The combination of focused attention** and tapping may induce a state of relaxation, similar to meditation, which has been shown to alter brain activity and neurochemistry.

3. **The process of recalling traumatic memories** while tapping may help to reframe and desensitize the emotional response, leading to long-term changes in how the brain processes these memories.

Find me at www.balance-psychotherapy.org

The abdominal tapping technique is inspired by Kasia's research on the vagus nerve. Please find demonstration here https://youtu.be/w42agZH9l3E

The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body, extending from the brainstem down to the abdomen, and plays a crucial role in regulating various bodily functions, including heart rate, digestion, and emotional responses.

By tapping on specific points on the abdomen, you can activate the vagus nerve and promote a state of relaxation and balance in the body. The video demonstrates the tapping exercise.

You may also want to focus on the following points in the body:

Solar Plexus

Located just above the navel, this area corresponds to the solar plexus chakra, which is associated with personal power, self-esteem, and emotional well-being.

Navel

The area just below the navel corresponds to the sacral chakra. This area is linked to emotions, creativity, and sexuality.

Root Chakra

Tapping on the area just above the pubic bone, which corresponds to the root chakra. This chakra is associated with safety, security, and grounding.

1. **Reducing stress and anxiety** by activating the parasympathetic nervous system

2. **Improving digestion** by promoting proper gut function

3. **Enhancing emotional regulation** by modulating the limbic system

4. **Boosting immune function** by reducing inflammation

Remember to be gentle and consistent with the tapping. Experiment with different pressure levels and find what feels most comfortable for you. Incorporating abdominal tapping into your daily routine can be a simple yet effective way to support your overall well-being and promote a healthy, balanced nervous system.

Music: #Uppbeat, https://uppbeat.io/t/northwestern/oahu

Tapping on the abdomen with fingertips can help stimulate the vagus nerve and modulate the nervous system.Stimulating the vagus nerve through abdominal tapping can have several benefits, including:

Find me at www.balance-psychotherapy.org

De-Mystifying Stress: How to Turn It into Your Ally

Forget everything you thought about stress being the enemy! This session flips the script, showing you how stress can actually be a valuable tool for growth. The key lies in understanding the different types of stress and finding ways to create balance.

Imagine stress as a spectrum. On one end, you have a safe, stimulating challenge. This is the kind of stress that gets your dopamine pumping and motivates you to achieve your goals. Think of that deadline that pushes you to produce your best work, or a challenging hike that leaves you feeling invigorated.

Now, on the other end of the spectrum, we have chronic, overwhelming stress. This is the kind that drains your energy, zaps your joy, and can even lead to health problems. Nobody enjoys feeling constantly on edge, right?

The goal is to find the sweet spot in the middle - a place where you can harness the good stress for motivation and growth, while keeping the bad stress at bay. So, how do we do that?

Just like a superhero needs a secret lair, you need a safe space to feel calm and grounded. This can be a physical space, like your favourite park or a cosy corner in your home. Or, it can be a feeling of connection and support you get from a community or loved ones.

Instead of dreading challenges, view them as opportunities to learn and grow. Think of them as stepping stones to a goal you're excited about. This shift in perspective can make a big difference in how you experience stress.

World throws curveballs, and some stress is simply unavoidable (we're looking at you, car troubles and surprise bills!). While you can't control everything, you can control how you react. Focusing on healthy habits like sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet gives your body the tools it needs to handle stress. Learning to say "no" and avoiding catastrophizing also helps keep things manageable.

Techniques like meditation and "tapping" (a blend of EMDR and acupressure) can be powerful allies in managing stress and processing emotions. These practices can help you work through underlying fears and limiting beliefs that might be fuelling your stress response.

Remember: Stress is a natural part of life. By creating a sense of safety, reframing challenges, and developing healthy coping mechanisms, you can transform stress from a foe into a force for positive change. So, the next time you feel stressed, embrace it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and become the best version of yourself!

Your Secret: The Life that Lives you has your back!