Ballot with Patrick Gutfield - Where Politics Meets Pop Culture

Donald Trump has officially endorsed Andrew Cuomo for New York City mayor — yes, the same Cuomo who resigned in disgrace. Patrick Gutfield breaks down how the president’s new political strategy seems to be “find the least likable guy in the room and back him.” Plus: Trump’s threats to defund cities that vote wrong, his bizarre 60 Minutes interview about running for a third term, his sympathy for Prince Andrew (yikes), and the death of Dick Cheney — the vice president who once shot his friend and still somehow got an apology. A full week of “very normal” American politics.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

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On Air Force One, President Donald Trump talked up Vice President JD Vance and Secretary of State Marco Rubio as an “unstoppable” 2028 ticket — then immediately blurred the line on whether he’d still be in the mix himself, refusing to rule out trying for a third term even though the 22nd Amendment clearly bans it. We explain what Trump said, why he keeps teasing 2028, and why his own allies are already gaming out how to keep Trumpism in power. Then we pivot to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, who is now literally banning “beardos” from his events overseas. Service members in South Korea were told that even troops with approved shaving waivers — including guys with documented medical conditions that hit Black service members especially hard — are “not authorized to attend.” Hegseth says he wants a clean-shaven military and has threatened to boot people who still need waivers. We’ll walk through what that means for morale, discipline, and whether the culture war has officially reached facial hair.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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California Governor Gavin Newsom is unloading on President Donald Trump’s 90,000-square-foot, bulletproof, $300 million White House ballroom — calling it a “knock-off Versailles” and blasting Trump for building a private palace on the ruins of the East Wing while millions lose federal food assistance during his shutdown. We lay out what this ballroom actually is (think mega-gilded state hall, capacity 600+ and funded by big donors, after Trump bulldozed a historic part of the White House) and why Newsom says he’s now “seriously” looking at a 2028 run. Then: Trump went to an aircraft carrier in Japan and delivered a wild rant about how “water destroys magnets,” promised an executive order to force the Navy back to steam catapults because he doesn’t trust electromagnetic launch systems, and claimed tractors prove he’s right — even though those same “magnets” are literally used in MRI machines, including the MRI the White House won’t explain. The Commander-in-Chief is redesigning $13 billion carriers based on “a glass of water on the magnets,” and the governor of California is comparing his taste to pre-revolution French royalty. Welcome to Friday.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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President Donald Trump’s trip to Japan is raising real questions about his health and his power. We break down the footage of the 79-year-old president gingerly taking the stairs off Air Force One in Tokyo, gripping the rail with both hands and dragging his right leg after meeting Emperor Naruhito — all while the White House refuses to explain why he quietly had an MRI this month but still calls his health “excellent.” We also get into Trump’s shocking speech to U.S. troops in Japan, where he floated sending the U.S. military — not just the National Guard — into American cities to “fix” crime, a scenario critics say sounds a lot like martial law. Then he bragged about sinking boats in the Caribbean and called it a drug war, despite other governments saying civilians and even fishermen were killed. All that, plus Trump telling sailors he’s “always wanted to be an admiral.” This is your daily reality check on the age, stability, and judgment of the guy threatening to use the military at home while insisting he’s in “incredible shape.”

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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Trump’s shutdown enters chaos mode: food assistance vanishes, flights are at risk, and Speaker Mike Johnson won’t call Congress back. Meanwhile, Trump’s turning the White House into his own Versailles, with a 90,000 sq ft expansion and a staircase to nowhere. Plus, his Asia tour features comedy, cognitive tests, and diplomatic shade. Patrick Gutfield takes you inside the wildest moments from D.C. to Japan.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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President Trump flirts with a third term, brushing off the Constitution like it’s optional. He gets an “exceptional” health report from Walter Reed—despite leg swelling—and even jokes about running as VP. Meanwhile, two U.S. Navy aircraft crash in the South China Sea in a bizarre double-incident. Patrick Gutfield breaks down the headlines, including the GOP group chat scandal and the ever-expanding Trump ego.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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From Charlotte, where we had the under—Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week’s wildest headlines: the FBI’s “Nothing But Bet” sting shaking the NBA, Trump blowing up trade talks with Canada over a Ronald Reagan ad, and a $300 million White House demolition to make room for a presidential ballroom. It’s corruption, chaos, and construction—all in one Ballot.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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President Trump's shocking plan to demolish the historic East Wing reveals a dramatic transformation of America's most iconic building, leaving historians and citizens stunned.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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Thieves pull off a cinematic jewel heist at the Louvre in just 7 minutes—complete with motorbikes. At the Vatican, Pope Leo XIV faces conservative backlash over the Latin Mass. And in infrastructure news, Trump tries to axe the $16B Gateway tunnel project, infuriating New York and New Jersey alike. Patrick Gutfield reports from Paris to the Pope to Penn Station.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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Vice President J.D. Vance brushes off a vile GOP group chat as “boys being boys,” Trump pitches a $250M White House makeover complete with a giant golden arch, and Joe Rogan suddenly notices Trump’s immigration policies are… intense. Patrick Gutfield breaks it all down, from political tone-deafness to literal architectural ego. Plus: Korean scientists invent a new kind of ice. No, seriously. It’s called Ice-21 and it’s wild.

Come for the sass, stay for the sanity—and blame the A.I. for the jokes that don’t land.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show! 

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