In this episode, I bring you a life coaching tool called Emotional Adulthood. Listeners love the podcasts that they can apply to the rest of their lives outside of dance, so this one is for YOU!

When we are in Emotional Childhood, we are operating more like children in our emotional lives. It is characterized by a relinquishing of responsibility for how we feel and act. In this state, you would find yourself making other people responsible for how you feel. You are unhappy because your spouse doesn't text you enough during the day. You are angry because your children don't listen. You are fearful because of your parents or your childhood or something else outside of you.

It's not that these things don't contribute, they do, but in this episode I teach you how to be an emotional adult, take responsibility for how you feel and act so that you can be the person that you want to be more of the time. In emotional adulthood, we don't have to wait for others to behave in the ways we prefer in order for us to be happy. We take out the middle man.

I should warn you though...emotional adulthood isn't easy. But it's worth it and this tool can change your life. Enjoy!

For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free ⁠⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠⁠

If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, ⁠⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠⁠

This episode is all about how to actually settle yourself down when your nervous system has been triggered. Often when we stop and try to "take some deep breaths" to help bring ourselves back to reality, it doesn't seem to work very well. Sometimes this is because when we take this approach, we might actually be resisting our emotions rather than processing them.

In this episode I give you 4 steps (and an informal 5th step) to give you a framework to help inform your brain that you are actually just fine.

Here are the steps:

1. Ask yourself if you are literally safe. (yes)

2. Ask yourself if you FEEL safe (likely not, which is why you were triggered in the first place.

3. Figure out why not (validate why you feel vulnerable)

4. Actively relax tension away in your body (this is where breathwork fits in)

The informal step 5 is to check in to see if what we are asking of our self is actually too much. Likely, you are totally capable of it, but once in a while we need to know we have the out if we want it. But really, if you can take courage, you can get through it.

Taking these steps before you try to do breathwork makes it far more effective. Listen in for a short-cut to this strategy I offer near the end.

For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free ⁠⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠⁠

If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, ⁠⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠⁠

It can't be avoided. At some point, you will have a performance that just doesn't go well. You will have days where your dancing is just...off. Even if you do everything that you can to plan, prepare and mitigate issues, there will be times you just walk away knowing it just wasn't your best dancing.

And we have to live with that.

In this episode, I tell the story of my recent Nightclub night at a competition and how I just didn't dance well.

Then I offer some Dos and Don'ts to help you deal with it and get past it.

For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free ⁠Dance Strategy Call⁠

If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, ⁠Joyful Ballroom⁠

Many of my clients do what they do with their dancing because, "they just want to be a good dancer." But what does that even mean? Often they aren't really sure, they just know it's not what they are right now.

Why are we so resistant to believing we are a good dancer? What is the danger in believing that? Maybe it's not even a good idea to wish for this for ourselves, at least not in the way we do it now.

In this episode, we talk about why we might not believe we are a good dancer, why we are resistant to changing our mind about that, and take the time to define for ourselves what a good dancer is to us as individuals.

For help figuring out this for yourself, might I recommend a free Dance Strategy Call

If you want a ballroom community with a hefty side of mental and emotional resilience, join my Facebook Group, Joyful Ballroom

While we all say we want to feel more confident, we spend a lot of mental energy proving to ourselves why we are lacking and not good enough. We rehearse our shortcomings and remind ourselves of the mistakes we have made in the past. I'm not sure why we think it's a mystery that we feel doubtful and lack confidence.

In this episode, I teach you what a confidence bank is and how to build it. In short, rather than rehearsing and reminding yourself why you aren't good enough, you need to start taking an accounting of why you are.

Mining your life for all the efforts, successes and progress, and then keeping a literal record of it all, is how you get your confidence bank started. Then, as you go through your life and dance journey, teach your brain how to look for and filter out the positive experiences so you can use them in the future to remind yourself how capable, experienced and effective you are.

These kinds of experiences generate confidence, energy, optimism and enthusiasm, rather than the negative experiences that we usually catalog.

This episode, and the concept of ESP (effort, success and progress) are inspired from the book, The Confident Mind by Eric Zinsser

Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group can be found HERE

To book a FREE Dance Strategy Call, click ⁠HERE

Have you ever stopped to realize that nothing is really a problem unless you think it is a problem? This is why some things can really bother someone else but not bother you.

As I work with clients in my private practice, so many things that we think are a problem are actually just normal development. We just don't like how it's going. But it IS totally normal actually. If we can make peace with things not being a problem, we can reduce the negativity and judgment by at least half. And then all that we are left with is something that we want to improve upon. But the part where we make it a problem, is optional.

Plateaus are one of those things that are a normal part of development, that no one can escape, and yet we think we are especially deficient just because we are in one. But plateaus are normal. In fact, while it may seem like nothing is happening in our plateaus, nothing could be further from the truth.

The spurts of progress that we experience from time to time are only the evidence of all the work that happened in the plateaus. The spurts aren't the progress...they are the evidence that spilled out when that progress finally hit a tipping point where forward movement and integration can be seen in our efforts.

Listen in to hear what is happening in the plateaus that is so important. Let's make peace with plateaus.

*This episode was inspired by a section in the book The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser. Pick up a copy HERE

Joyful Ballroom is a Facebook Group community just for ballroom dancers. Go ⁠HERE⁠ to join and benefit from more free ballroom content

To book a FREE Dance Strategy Call, click ⁠HERE

Enjoy this interview with Irene Wong: mom of 3, entrepreneur, and 16 year pro-am competitor! She shares her journey on her YouTube channel, "Everything Ballroom, and co-owns Dancewear Works, a designer dress company supplying dresses and menswear to ballroom competitors. In her words, "I'm on a mission to make dancewear accessible to all."

In addition to her love for dance, she is also a proud distributor of Nu Skin products, which we talk a little bit about in this episode.

We talk in this episode about choosing a dress, creating a character that can help draw out your Alter Ego, and mindset shifts that can change everything.

The Dancewear Works website can be found HERE

Go HERE for the Everything Ballroom YouTube Channel

Irene's NuSkin website can be found HERE

(sign up as a VIP for a 20% discount off retail prices--no charge to sign up!)

Joyful Ballroom is a Facebook Group community just for ballroom dancers. Go HERE to join and benefit from more free ballroom content

To book a FREE Dance Strategy Call, click HERE

Few people understand what it really means to pursue dancing. We go through a lot of things and it changes us. I can't find the words to describe this episode, so just go listen and enjoy! Merry Christmas!

Join Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for more help and free content to benefit your dance experience!

Book a free Dance Strategy Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠ to take charge of your dance mindset for good.

Inevitably, when a client has had a lot of change in a short amount of time, they feel like they are "cured." They feel like they have a handle on their mind and emotions so much better, but then something comes up that triggers them.

This is a moment when they think they are backsliding. This isn't true at all. Listen in to this episode to hear how this is totally normal, you aren't backsliding, and in fact, that means you are right where you should be.

We want to be confident, right? But not too confident. Not arrogant. Not cocky. But also I want feel powerful and celebrate my success, but also still be humble.

Have you taken the time to sift through all these? You should because if you want to be confident and maximize your potential, you might be holding yourself back in the name of preventing arrogance or trying to remain humble.

Listen in for some ideas on this that mostly come from Craig Manning, Mental Strength Coach for BYU athletics.

Here are the 5 ideas we bring up in this episode:

Arrogance

Cockiness

Confidence

Passiveness

Pessimism

And then I guess there is one more thing you need to iron out: where Humility fits in with confidence. Let's unpack it in this episode.

Join Joyful Ballroom Facebook Group ⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Book a Dance Strategy Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠

Take advantage of the 3-session Coaching Special ⁠HERE⁠ (through Dec 15, 2023)