Battlecast presented by Meltdown Comics

Woooo Nelly, another one of our hilariously short seasons down the ol' drain again with an episode so long is sure to break records or at least your attention span.

Battle Royale means we get to use our characters WITH WHOM we've won througout the season- another even season with each of the boys coming to the plate with 3- Dan's rag tag crew of ragamuffins in Pablo Escobar, Master Chief, and Ant Man. James's bunch of bawdy brawlers is Hillary Clinton, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Caprica 6. Andy's slew of soldiers is  Rick (of Rick and Morty), Nightcrawler (not Jake Gyllenhaal), and President Nicolas Cage (waht?).

Never wear Battlecast without the Blue.

Warning: Go into this one with an open analogy-box.

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Today on Battlecast, the boys try to piss off the non-present (for the first time ever) Dan by doing a Futurama episode in his absence. It worked a little. Friend of the show Alex guest judicates. It's leader of the mutants Raoul (Andy) vs. Bender's good-twin Flexo (James) vs. kung-fu fighting space pilot Leela (Dirk). They all enrolled at Mars University for this one, kiddos. Also in true BC form, we talk about crapping our pants and handjobs.

ALL HAIL THE HYPNOCAST.

Warning: It's like we haven't aged a day.

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BOOM SHOW CAMEO! It's Jon Bailey of HONEST TRAILERS. They're trailers, and they're honest. Go watch them.

"Honest Trailers are awesome." -Andy aka a guy who doesn't like 99.9999% of things.

James is absent today, but we somehow manage to seem pathetic anyway. Ahhh just kidding James, you're great. Today its two characters who you've probably never even considered thinking about meeting each other. It's drug kingpin and failed politician Pablo Escobar (Dan) vs. potentially androidical future-cop and main character of Blade Runner and the Philip K. Dick novel "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep", Rick Deckard (Andy). Dirk judicates and the ol' wheel put us in Big Boss's Mother Base from the new (really solid [get it?]) Metal Gear Solid Game.

In certain cultures it is actually considered a compliment to Battlecast at the dinner table after eating a meal.

Warning: Epic voice by epic guest.

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Today on Battlecast: Andy judicates our battle in a place from a show no one's ever watched. It does actually sound pretty solid though. Twin Peaks. Dan picks one of his most nostalgia-serving characters yet. Master Chief (Dan). You remember Halo parties with your boys, getting into latently homosexual antics around a 27 inch CRT tv. Was that just Dan? Oh well. On to James. He made a very controversial [you'll see why] move in picking Maleficent (James). It's got all the spine-tingling twists and turns of a lazy river!!!

I don't wanna waiiiit. For our Battlecasts to be ovvvver.

Warning: Jamesy want his ba-ba?

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Guys I'm really tired and kinda jacked up from the motorcycle accident you'll hear about on this episode so I'm gonna keep this short. Sorry for being a gayby. It's America's national treasure Nick Cage (Andy) vs. stealth alien commando Predator (Dirk for Dan). All goes down on capitol hill 'cause like we keep current with news and stuff.

We motion for a Battlecast. All in favor? The nays have it.

Warning: Wear a helmet.

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It's election season! The only season that lasts the duration of like 25 normal seasons! We love it! And to prove how much we love politics and what-not, we're pitting the might Apprenticer himself, Donald Trump (Andy), vs. Hillary "Hill-Dawg" Clinton (James). Today the wheel of destiny lands on a map from Blizzard's newest MOBA [you know, games like League of Legends and DOTA] to hit the streets, Heroes of the Storm.

Houston, we have a Battlecast.

Warning: Try not to smaste anything gross.

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It's the ciiiiiiiircle of Battlecast.

Warning: Battlecasters be cheatin'.

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Stop, drop, and listen to Battlecast.

Warning: Record number of Ds dropped.

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Ant-Man (Dan) was pretty dang good. Go check it out. Also bring this episode of Battlecast in on a boom box and blast it 90s style. Also while listening to Tom Waits (Dirk) on a Walk-Man.

James is still out of town. We actually vaguely miss him. He's in Germany, and that's where our Battleground gon' be this week too.

Fill the reservoir with floating black balls, it's Battlecast season <3Warning: Hope you like Tom Waits.<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a Master Chef Junior contestant. <3 <3 <3

WHEN TWO TIME TRAVELING DUOS SPILL BREW, WHO WILL DO TRAVAILING IN TIME TO WIN?!?

It's just the three musketeers today. Not that other guy. Ummmm. James! Yeah James. That guy. Is some'a our faves today. Rick and Morty (Andy) vs Doc and Marty (Dan) battling in a game that Dan and Dirk have been playing wayyyy to much'a. Rocket League. Enjoy.Awwwwwww, biiiiiiitch, it's Battlecast <3Warning: This show is icky.<3 <3 <3 Thanks for listening, thanks for telling a friend, thanks for rating us on iTunes, and thanks for being a free layer of factory topcoat. <3 <3 <3