Baywatch Rookie School

It's been ~one week~ almost a year since our last episode, but don't worry, you can't kill us that easily! We're back and legally we have to finish this show, so you're stuck with us fore a while longer

Morgan's Rating: 9
Michael's Rating: 9
Paul's Rating: 8

S4E17: Falcon Manifesto

Psst Hey kid, you an elbow vegan? Well don't worry any longer, because starting today, we have a solution for you! It's BeyondWenus. Tastes just like real wenus, but made entirely from discarded Baywatch plot points

Morgan's Rating: 4
Michael's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @14:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:14:38.

Assorted show notes:

@06:32 Michael forgot he made a movie in college too. That brings the count up to 4.

@12:55 A Geocities interview with Jacqueline Collen.

@24:32 Please do not Google "Sonic Inflation" on a work computer.

@36:40 The Dahir Insaat Earthquake Bed.

@01:26:40 Peacock's Insane Christmas Movies.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E16: Mirror, Mirror

Well I suppose it's time we finally tell you. Michael and Morgan are actually the same person. In case you haven't figured it out, Morgan is obviously the horny twin and Michael is the research twin.

Eric's Rating: 6
Morgan's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 7

Episode discussion starts @24:13. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:11.

Assorted show notes:

@48:09 A reminder of what the octopus looked like

@01:34:52 The Oreo burger

@01:35:22 The banana pizza

@01:36:01 Eric says that they don't eat the cannibal sandwich in Wisconsin but this twitter account begs to differ

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E15: Coronado del Soul Part 2

If there's horny ghosts, in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Baywatchers!

Parker's Rating: 1.5
Morgan's Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 2

Episode discussion starts @06:47. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:56.

Assorted show notes:

@01:17:03 The tweet in question

@01:17:25 The recorded follow-up to that tweet

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E14: Coronado del Soul Pt. 1

Beef boys! Exciting news! We're hosting our first Baywatch Rookie School Con at the Coronado del Soul. In order to register, you just need to become a ghost and buy tickets from the spooooooky gift shop. Don't worry, this gift shop does have an exit

Parker's Rating: 4
Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 6

Episode discussion starts @27:11. Post-episode discussion starts @01:36:04.

Assorted show notes:

@49:53 Said montage.

@50:51 Here is the debut. As well, here is the peak.

@01:11:03 Morgan's choice.

@01:11:27 Parker's choice.

@01:12:05 Michael's choice.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E13: Red Knight 

It's the end of Ben! We are not sad to see him go, even if this is a particularly bad sign off. Come and join us on the beach for a reunion of the Red Knights (or more like the Red Tights amirite???). Also Morgan finally gets a Godfather.

Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 2.5

Episode discussion starts @22:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:40.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E12: Second Time Around

We're back! Morgan's back from vacation, so we're recording the episodes we don't have any guests for. Baywatch is hitting it's stride in Season 4, which means they've stopped writing interesting episodes and are just recycling their formulas

Morgan's Rating: 3
Michael's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @18:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:18.

Assorted show notes:

@22:55 Hasslehoff Devouring His Cheeseburger by Goya

@23:48 Stills from Baywatch the Animated Series (if only it existed)

@33:44 Conversion rates for 1993

@01:08:11 Robert Kardashian's Cream of Wheat

@01:09:22 Lauren Conrad's Tequila Shot

@01:09:48 The Nicole Brown Simpson Chicken Nachos

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E11: The Child Inside

It's time for a Very Special Episode starring a young Republican gymnast. Baywatch doesn't completely bungle depicting the Special Olympics, so that's nice. They didn't do a good job, but it's not as bad as we feared

Jon's Rating: 9
Michael's Rating: 7
Morgan's Rating: 3

Check out Jon's portfolio at: https://kawaiiguy.com/ and watch their Twitch streams at: https://www.twitch.tv/kawaiiguy.

Episode discussion starts @29:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:32:23.

Assorted show notes:

@26:20 The Michael Phelps meal

@31:01 The fakest rock ever

@37:18 Hobie's tribute to vegetables

@45:35 The Garfield Pizza as well as a picture of Garfield Eats

@46:07: The founder of Garfield Eats

@47:44 More pics from Jon related to Garfield Eats

@54:17 The music from the original montage set to the video from the remaster

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E10: Tower of Power

Baywatch is back on it's racist shit, so that's fun. Homecoming is also back, that's actually fun! We talk about graffiti and introduce a new segment, our Pier Review

Homecoming's Rating: 0.5
Michael's Rating: 1
Morgan's Rating: 1.5

Episode discussion begins @22:34. Post-episode discussion begins @01:56:41.

Assorted Show Notes:

@01:05:37 The album Michael is referring to.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

S4E9: Ironman Buchannon

In a shockingly horny episode of the podcast, we spend far too much time (and also not nearly enough time) talking about old Nickelodeon Game Shows. #ReleaseTheSnyderCutOfBaywatch #PleaseDontActuallyDoThat #IDontWantSynderFansOnMyCase #NumberOneCheerWorthyMoment.

Michael is drunk this episode. Please ignore how while he is drunk, he pounds the table a lot. Or just accept it. We're not your dad.

Tristan's Rating: 3
Michael's Rating: 6
Morgan's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @30:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:44:38.

Assorted show notes:

@04:40 I am suspicious this is not Chip Hipkins

@20:40 The Playboy cover that got this police officer fired from the NYPD

@25:06 15 questions with Yasser Arafat

@32:20 The Pam Anderson mixtape

@01:18:43 The situation Mitch is in that Morgan is describing

@01:35:36 This is the remastered montage with the music from the original airing

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.