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Join us this week as Indy and Michael laugh...and look at how Indy ended up here! Indy talks about being in the BDSM scene but feeling so defeated by dating apps, dating, vanilla and even kink. Indy describes her sexual revolution and disentangling of "the triangle" - sex, love and intimacy. This led for the door to open on her Domme side. However Indy now feels completely disillusioned by who she has become in the dating app scene.

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Join Michael and Indy this week as they delve into Indy's cuckholding fantasy. Indy draws links between the symbols in her fantasy and how they relate to feelings of safety in her intimate connections with men - particularly within the lens of shame and defectiveness schemas.

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In this episode, Michael goes deep. And we mean deep! Michael and Indy explore an old submissive fantasy of Michael's that built up over years talking online with a dominant that lived across the world. Through text, Michael explored some of his most intimate ideas, only to now understand them on a whole new level under the lens of shame and defectiveness. In this revealing episode, we invite listeners to come along and unpack Michael's fantasy with him. 

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(00:10) Intro

(01:24) Quick Fire Questions

(09:04) Main Kinks

(11:58) Upbringing

(37:30) Why are you dominant not submissive? / Analysis

Join us this week as we interview World Boss Alpha - a Dom with refreshing insight and self awareness in his exploration of kink. We were particularly fascinated when he was able to link feelings of shame to being Dom.

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In this episode... Are you a dom because you think you are superior to others? Or are you deflecting from historical trauma - a way of avoiding deeper, more sinister truths about your life and the person you think you are? And if so, is this necessarily a bad thing? Could it be considered a healthy way to cope and work through our past? Join us as we weave together Indy's relationship and upbringing history to find out.

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Join Michael and Indy this week as they delve into Indy's upbringing. Indy discusses patterns in her upbringing which fuelled the defectiveness and shame schema possibly leading to her interest in dominating men.

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Join Michael and Indy this week as they delve into Indy's relationship history. Indy discusses patterns in relationships which fuelled the defectiveness and shame schema, in which she felt unattractive to men and not good enough. After her marriage breakdown a few years ago, Indy was drawn to BDSM and sees how being Domme is a form of self protection.

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(01:15) Michael's Update

(15:10) Indy's Update

Join Michael and Indy as they ramble! Today we get straight into it. Michael describes a session with a sub who likes to be degraded for looking scruffy and wearing torn clothes. The session went into some unexpected directions, including pup play. Michael says he struggles with displays of affection and admiration as a Dom, which Indy can relate to. Indy has a confession to make. Whilst she loved the break from BDSM, now she's right back into it! Being almost 40, and at her sexual peak, she is back on the dating apps. However, it comes at an emotional price. The defectiveness schema can play out as can our deeper insecurities.

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(03:45) Quick Fire Questions

(09:08) Main Kinks

(10:05) Upbringing and Current Life

Join Indy and Michael this week as they interview RJ aka, Trackies For Life. RJ has become a sensation on Instagram in the kink community. His main intention is to be real, and show sides of his kink freely. This is worlds apart from his early life, when kink was more hidden.

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Join Indy and Michael this week as they discuss the deeper reasons driving submission. There is an invisible part driving submission, the defectiveness schema. We bring together life history which shapes and drives this belief, and takes such forms as "I'm not good enough, I'm bad." This belief exists within the domain of sexual identity and not necessarily other sides of ourselves. In submission, the defectiveness schema is surrendered to. We truly believe on some level that we are not good enough, that we are inadequate. Michael bravely opens up to this possibility in himself, and we discuss the formative shape of this defectiveness in his kink.

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