BYOLC S2 E12

Help!! I hate asking for help!

Why is asking for help so hard—even when we’re the kind of people who love helping others?

In this episode, we explore why even the smallest requests—asking for directions, reaching something on the top shelf, saying “can you explain that again?”—can feel surprisingly awkward. And if asking for help feels difficult in those tiny moments, it’s no wonder it feels overwhelming when we’re hurting, burned out, stuck, or scared.

We unpack the deeper reasons behind this discomfort, including cultural conditioning around independence, fear of being a burden, vulnerability, control, and the nervous system’s resistance to uncertainty. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a relational skill, and one most of us were never taught how to practice.

This episode reframes asking for help as courage, connection, and wisdom—not failure. We talk about:

• Why tiny asks feel just as uncomfortable as big ones

• How fear of rejection and “being too much” keeps us isolated

• Why the nervous system prefers familiar struggle over unfamiliar vulnerability

• How asking for help actually gives others the gift of showing up

• The many forms of help we’re allowed to ask for—practical, emotional, guidance, medical, and professional

• When it’s time to stop carrying things alone

You’ll also be guided through a gentle self-coaching reflection to help you identify where you might be pretending you don’t need help—and how to start with one small, imperfect ask.

Because it doesn’t just take a village to raise a child.
It takes a village to raise a human being.

And you were never meant to do this alone.

BYOLC S2 E11

Be Your Own Life Coach Podcast – Episode 11: The Four Agreements | New Beginnings, Toltec Wisdom & Personal Freedom

Happy New Year! ✨ 2026 is here—and in numerology, 2026 is a “1” year, symbolizing new beginnings, rebirth, and personal transformation. There is no better time to revisit the timeless wisdom of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, a book that has profoundly changed the way I see myself, others, and the world.

In Episode 11 of the Be Your Own Life Coach Podcast, we explore the life-changing teachings rooted in Toltec wisdom—not as a religion, but as a way of life built on awareness, self-mastery, and personal freedom. Though the four agreements are simple on the surface, their power lies in how deeply they dismantle unconscious beliefs, reduce emotional suffering, and help you reclaim your authenticity.

• Who Don Miguel Ruiz is and why his teachings matter

• The true meaning of Toltec wisdom and what it means to be the artist of your own life

• How beliefs become unconscious “agreements” that shape your reality

• Why fear, self-betrayal, and people-pleasing stem from outdated agreements

• The importance of awareness, courage, and curiosity in personal growth

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word – How language creates, heals, or harms, and why integrity with yourself matters most

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally – Freedom from other people’s opinions, projections, and emotional poison

3. Don’t Make Assumptions – Why assumptions fuel anxiety and how asking better questions changes everything

4. Always Do Your Best – Honoring effort over perfection, practicing self-compassion, and releasing guilt and shame

You’ll be guided to choose one agreement to practice for the week, turn it into a daily mantra, and build awareness around triggers, old beliefs, and emotional reactions. This episode invites you to ask powerful questions, journal your insights, and step into the role of your own life coach.

If you’re seeking self-improvement, emotional freedom, mindset shifts, spiritual growth, or tools for authentic living, this episode is for you. The Four Agreements offer a roadmap to releasing old stories, rewriting your inner dialogue, and creating a life rooted in truth, presence, and personal power.

Seek truth. Embody truth. Share truth.
You don’t need to be fully healed to lead—you only need to be a few steps ahead. Your growth may become the light someone else is searching for.

In this episode, we cover:A deep dive into The Four Agreements:Coach Yourself Segment:

BYOLC S2 E10What do you do when you’re having a really bad day—the kind where everything goes wrong, your nervous system is overloaded, and all you want is for the pain to stop?In this unfiltered, vulnerable episode of the Be Your Own Life Coach Podcast, host Bretagne Stowe speaks directly to the moments we don’t talk about enough: emotional overwhelm, intrusive thoughts, relationship stress, burnout, and the urge to make drastic, permanent decisions just to feel relief.

If you’ve ever thought:“I can’t do this anymore”“I just want to disappear”“I need to quit, leave, or blow everything up”“Why does my life feel so hard right now?”This episode is for you.

We explore why temporary emotions feel permanent, how the nervous system goes into fight-or-flight during bad days, and why you don’t need to make life-altering decisions when you’re dysregulated. You’ll hear honest reflections on motherhood, relationships, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the very human desire for relief—without shame or judgment.

This conversation is a reminder that:You are not brokenYou are not aloneYou do not need to decide anything todayInstead, you’ll learn how to pause, regulate your nervous system, make small grounding changes, and trust that emotions ebb and flow—just like seasons, weather, and life itself.

BYOLC S2 E9

“My mom used to say the hours before midnight count for double. I thought she was just being dramatic… or trying to get me home before curfew. She also used to say, nothing good ever happens after midnight. And honestly? As an adult, I’m realizing she may have been right.”

In this episode of the Be Your Own Life Coach Podcast, we explore why sleep isn’t a luxury or a reward for being productive—it’s the foundation of your health. When I’m in bed before 10pm, my sleep is deeper, more restorative, and I wake up feeling like myself again. And it turns out, both science and ancient wisdom agree.

We talk about why sleep before midnight really matters, how your circadian rhythm is wired to light and darkness, and why the most restorative sleep happens earlier in the night—especially between 10pm and 2am, when growth hormone is released, cells repair, and the brain clears metabolic waste. Renowned sleep scientist Matthew Walker, author of Why We Sleep, explains that when you sleep matters just as much as how long you sleep.

We also explore the Ayurvedic perspective on daily rhythms, breaking the day into three 8-hour windows for rest, productivity, and connection—and why being awake during the body’s repair window doesn’t mean the work gets rescheduled… it often gets skipped.

Using babies as an analogy, we reflect on “wake windows” and how adults, too, need enough stimulation, movement, sunlight, and engagement during the day to sleep well at night. If you’re under-stimulated all day and over-stimulated at night, your sleep will struggle.

You’ll also learn about:

• The power of power naps and deep rest

• Why Yoga Nidra (non-sleep deep rest) can feel as restorative as sleep

• How nighttime and morning routines create safety for your nervous system

• Why your bedroom should be a sleep sanctuary

• The real health impacts of sleep on hormones, mood, immunity, memory, and heart health

• How much sleep adults actually need—and why you can’t “catch up” on chronic sleep loss

We close with a Coach Yourself segment that asks the real questions:
What would it take for you to truly prioritize your sleep?
What are you afraid might happen if you go to bed earlier?
Who would you become if you were consistently well-rested?

If you’re doing all the things—taking supplements, working out, setting goals—but still feel moody, anxious, forgetful, or exhausted… you might not need another system or productivity hack.

You might just need to go to bed.

🌙

BYOLC S2 E8

What if today isn’t a problem… but a clue?

In this solo episode of Be Your Own Life Coach, host Bretagne Stowe steps into the unknown—recording on her own for the first time after her sister and co-host Anike Wilder unexpectedly couldn’t join her. Instead of resisting the moment, Bretagne leans into it with one powerful question: Why not?

This episode is an invitation to reconnect with your curiosity mindset—the way you once explored the world as a child, before control, certainty, and fear took the wheel. Through stories of Alice in Wonderland, Curious George, childhood detective books, and real-life reflection, Bretagne explores how curiosity fuels growth, resilience, creativity, and self-trust.

You’ll learn why control is the enemy of curiosity, how curiosity turns setbacks into information (not failure), and how asking better questions can transform your relationships, emotions, and inner dialogue.

In the Coach Yourself segment, Bretagne shares simple daily curiosity practices and introduces a powerful tool you can use immediately:
The Doors of Changed Perception—a grounding, embodied practice that anchors curiosity to everyday moments and helps you shift from autopilot into presence.

If you’ve been gripping life tightly, searching for certainty, or feeling stuck in the “how is this going to end?” loop—this episode will help you soften, open, and remember that life doesn’t need to be controlled to be meaningful.

Sometimes the magic isn’t in having answers.
It’s in being brave enough to wonder.

✨ What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• What a curiosity mindset really is (and why you already have one)

• How curiosity helps you detach from outcomes and stay open

• Why curiosity leads to success, joy, and emotional resilience

• How to turn problems into clues and setbacks into feedback

• Daily questions to help you coach yourself with compassion

• A practical mindset tool you can use every time you walk through a door

As 2025 comes to an end, many of us are feeling the quiet pull to release, reset, and realign. In this episode, we explore how letting go—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually—isn’t a loss, but an invitation for abundance.

In Chinese astrology, 2025 is the Year of the Snake, a time associated with shedding old skins and releasing what no longer serves us. As we prepare to move into 2026, the Year of the Horse, we’re reminded that forward momentum requires freedom. A horse can’t run fast while carrying unnecessary weight—and neither can we.

Today’s conversation dives deep into hoarding and attachment, not just in our homes, but in our hearts, minds, and identities. We explore why we hold on, including:

• Fear of loss, fear of change, and fear of not having enough

• Scarcity mindset and emotional hoarding

• Holding onto outdated beliefs, relationships, and versions of ourselves

We’ll also talk about how clutter shows up even if you’re not an “official hoarder”—from overflowing closets and saved boxes to staying connected to people and stories you’ve outgrown.

You’ll learn how your home mirrors your inner world, drawing from Feng Shui principles that teach us how clutter creates stuck energy and how clearing your space can shift your life. We explore how different areas of your home reflect self-worth, opportunity, relationships, and emotional backlog—and how small, intentional changes can create big energetic movement.

This episode also offers practical tools and self-coaching moments, including:

• Simple ways to start decluttering without overwhelm

• How to release emotional and mental clutter

• A guided release ritual to help you let go with gratitude

• Powerful reflection questions to identify what’s truly crowding your life

Letting go doesn’t mean you’re losing anything. You’re gaining freedom, peace, creativity, expansive energy, hope, and opportunity.

As you clear what’s stagnant, you make room for what’s aligned.

✨ You deserve a life that has room for your blessings.

BYOLC S2 E6

What if abundance isn’t something you chase—but something you tune into?

As we close out 2025 and step into a new year filled with goals, desires, and intentions, this episode dives deep into what abundance really is. Yes, money matters—but abundance is far bigger than finances. It’s a frequency, a mindset, and a way of relating to life that opens the door to emotional fulfillment, loving relationships, creativity, time freedom, health, spiritual connection, and aligned opportunities.

In this episode, we explore:

• The true meaning of abundance beyond money

• Emotional, energetic, relational, creative, spiritual, and financial abundance

• Scarcity vs. abundance mindset—and how your thoughts shape your reality

• Dr. David R. Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness and emotional frequency

• How gratitude, joy, and love raise your vibration and attract abundance

• The science behind heart-brain coherence (HeartMath Institute)

• Dr. Joe Dispenza’s teachings on elevated emotions and creating success

• Why abundance is about allowing, receiving, and trusting divine timing

You’ll also be guided through a Coach Yourself journaling practice, powerful affirmations, and a visualization to help you feel abundance in your body, release scarcity beliefs, and open yourself to receiving more—without guilt or force.

Abundance begets abundance.
Life is happening for you, not to you.
And when you shift your frequency, everything begins to align.

🎧 Tune in and remember: you are already more abundant than you realize.

BYOLC S2 E5

Self Awareness, Are you Born with it? Can you lose it? and if so can you get it back?

In this episode of Be Your Own Life Coach, Bretagne and Anike take you deep into the heart of self-awareness — what it is, why it fades, and how to rebuild it with intention. If you’ve ever found yourself snapping without knowing why, repeating the same patterns, shutting down in conflict, or feeling disconnected from your emotions, this conversation will feel like a mirror.We break down the two essential types of self-awareness — internal (your thoughts, emotions, triggers, patterns) and external (how others experience you). Together, we explore how autopilot, burnout, childhood conditioning, and survival mode quietly pull you away from yourself.You’ll learn:How lack of self-awareness shows up in everyday lifeHow to recognize emotional triggers before they take overHow your body signals the truth before your mind doesWhy certain patterns repeat — and how to interrupt themHow to shift from reacting to respondingSimple micro-practices for daily clarityA guided self-coaching check-in to reconnect with yourselfThis episode is your reminder that self-awareness isn’t about perfection — it’s about curiosity. The moment you notice your patterns, you reclaim your power to change them.

Be Your Own Life Coach Podcast with Bretagne Stowe & Anike Wilder

Breaking the Cycle — Finding the Motivation to Quit a Bad Habit

Struggling to quit a bad habit you keep falling back into? In this episode, Bretagne Stowe and Anike Wilder break down why we repeat behaviors that drain our energy, clarity, and confidence — and how to finally change them.

With the New Year approaching, resolutions are top of mind. But real transformation starts with understanding the need behind the habit. Whether it’s social media, overeating, smoking or drinking, lying, sitting too long, avoiding a sleep routine, or breaking promises to yourself, every habit is meeting a deeper need: comfort, control, escape, connection, or safety.

You’ll learn:

• The hidden “reward” your habit gives you

• What the habit protects you from

• Why you can’t change a behavior you’re still defending

• How to uncover the emotional need beneath the pattern

Plus simple, doable replacements:

• Scrolling → stretching

• Second plate → brush your teeth

• Lying → listen

• Sitting too long → change location

• No sleep routine → 3-minute ritual

• Breaking promises → micro-promises

We also dive into habit stacking, micro-changes, and a quick self-coaching framework to help you identify triggers, rebuild self-trust, and take actionable steps toward a better habit system.

7-Day Challenge: Replace your habit with one small action and track your energy.
Because quitting isn’t just stopping — it’s starting something better.

BYOLC S2 E3

In this episode, we explore the true power of gratitude—not just as a daily habit, but as a spiritual, emotional, and neurological force that shapes your mindset, your relationships, and the reality you create.

We break down how gratitude literally shifts the brain: boosting dopamine and serotonin, increasing neuroplasticity, and helping you form new empowering patterns. You'll learn why gratitude is one of the most effective tools for reducing anxiety, improving sleep, building emotional resilience, and cultivating the mindset of abundance.

We also dive into the spiritual side of gratitude—how it aligns with the law of attraction, why gratitude amplifies your energetic frequency, and how ancient prayer traditions from Christianity to Buddhism begin with “thank you.” You’ll hear stories, guiding questions, and a powerful reminder: you attract what you emotionally align with.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How gratitude rewires the brain for positivity, motivation, and growth

• Why gratitude increases neuroplasticity and supports emotional regulation

• The link between gratitude, the law of attraction, and manifesting abundance

• Embodied gratitude: how to “feel the future now”

• The role of discipline and daily gratitude practices in shaping your reality

• How gratitude deepens relationships, strengthens self-trust, and fosters presence

• Why “thank you before you ask” is a spiritual technology

• Practical self-coaching tools to bring gratitude into your daily life

You’ll also explore reflective questions to help you integrate what you learn—questions that bring you back into your heart, your body, and the truth of what’s already working in your life.

This episode is for you if you want to:

• Develop a powerful mindset rooted in abundance

• Reduce stress, fear, and emotional overwhelm

• Strengthen your spiritual practice

• Heal relationships and deepen connection

• Manifest with more clarity and confidence

• Build resilience during difficult seasons

• Create intentional habits that elevate your daily life

We close with a reminder from Melody Beattie:
“Gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

Gratitude isn’t just a feeling—it’s a transformational force. Let’s tap into it together.