becoming babyREADY with Sam Leeson - All About Queer Family Planning & Creation

All of us know that there is very little that is more serious in this life than family creation and child rearing. Sure there are moments of happiness, joy and excitement. There are also moments of frustration, anger and overwhelm. What brings everything together in a universal fashion is the way we let ourselves laugh about all of it. 

Today I have the gift of being able to share with you the conversation that I had with one half of The Gaytriarchs Podcast Duo, David FM Vaughn. Sure, we had some serious conversation about how he and his husband created their family and why they made the decisions that they made, but we also made sure to keep things light sometimes too.

To learn more about David, you can follow him on Instagram @davidfmvaughn and check out his podcast @gaytriarchspodcast, also at https://gaytriarchs.com

This is one of those rare occasions when I have the opportunity to speak with someone who literally ticks ALL of the boxes. Today I have the opportunity to introduce you to Marea Goodman. Marea is a queer parent to 3 children, a queer midwife, the founder of the community “Pregnant Together,” fertility coach, author, and really, if it is related to family creation, I suspect they have done it. 

We spend time talking about the role midwifery can play in the fertility process as well as through pregnancy, labour, birth, and postnatally. We dive into discussing the need for community throughout the journey, regardless of where you live.

I am sure that you, like me, will learn SO much from this conversation today.

The book is: “Baby Making For Everybody: Family Building and Fertility for LGBTQ+ and Solo Parents,” by Marea Goodman,  LM, CPM and Ray Rachlin, LM, CPM - find the IG page @babymakingforeverybody

You can find Marea by visiting: https://www.pregnanttogether.com 

The link to the Pregnant Together site is: https://community.pregnanttogether.com

Check out their Instagram page, @pregnanttogether.community

I flipped the tables today. On my other podcast, @boobsbodsandbrains, I work with a cohost, @laurelcrossley. Today Laurel and I chat and she is interviews me about the upcoming queer family planning event that I am hosting in June @the519.

Ultimately, before I started this podcast, my focus was to bring together Queer professionals and Queer parents to speak to the questions that 2SLGBTQIA+ people have or may have as they think about a life that includes parenthood for themselves. 

What do they need to know. How much will it cost? Where are the best resources found? Are there queer professionals who will hear what they have to ask and respect them for who they are?

Today Laurel and I also talk about the reality that I am deeply humbled by the work that I have had the honour of doing for so many years. 

For more information about the show follow me on Instagram or TikTok @babyREADYlgbtq or visit my website: www.babyREADY.info

Having a massage can feel luxurious and frivolous to some people. Other people understand the physically therapeutic benefits. Whether you see a Registered Massage Therapist for relaxation and fun, or for therapeutic reasons to treat existing challenges and concerns there is no debate that this treatment can leave some people feeling vulnerable. 

Today I have the opportunity to speak with Keeley Shantz, a Registered Massage Therapist from Ajax, Ontario. Keeley addresses the need for care providers to be conscious of their bias and their language when they're working with vulnerable populations. Keeley also talks about the work that they do to educate care providers.

You can learn more about Keeley and the work that they do by visiting: https://www.ontariomobilemassage.com and you can find them on Instagram @ontariomobilemassage

Meet Freya Lyon. She and her wife, Hannah, have two beautiful children that were created using IUI and open-donor sperm. In and of itself, not necessarily a new topic of conversation here on this show. What is new is that Freya herself is donor conceived. Her moms wanted children and used IUI and an anonymous donor to conceive both Freya and her sister. 

Funny isn’t it?  Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own journeys of family creation that we let ourselves forget that this option has been available for decades.  

Some of the rules have changes. Some have become more current. Others have not and have a long way to go. I am honoured to have the chance to speak with and learn from Freya; not just about how they created their family but also about the work the Freya continues to do to educate those in the reproductive health world in the UK. 

Also, she was excited to share the names of two books she can’t recommend highly enough:

“The Queer Parent: Everything You Need to Know From Gay to Ze,” by Lott Jeffs and Stu Oakley (@lottejeffs & @mrstuoakley)

and

“Sperm Not Included: The Queer Couple’s Guide to Getting Pregnant in the UK,” by Sarah Wayne 

PS - she also talks about being a donor herself . . . (@unicorndcp - IG and @thequeermama - TT)

Almost every parent out there will tell you that it is the most amazing and rewarding thing they have ever done. What many of them may feel - but are often too embarrassed to admit - is that it is also the scariest and loneliest thing they have ever done too.  

Today we have the chance to speak with Lara Stewart Panko, a Social Worker and former birth worker about the modalities she employs to support birthing parents and their partners both through pregnancy and the postnatal period and also even decades later as they navigate understanding any residual trauma that may be left over from that part of their lives.

You can learn more about Lara and the work they offer by visiting: https://larastewartpanko.com and on Instagram @larastewartpankorsw

When the desire to create a family comes then it feels as though there aren’t any hoops we won’t jump through to become the parents of our dreams. 

Today we are connecting with Eddy - as it was nearing midnight in Taiwan - to learn about the surrogacy journey he and his husband embarked upon to become parents to their sweet boy.  They learned some of what the possibilities were by attending a Men Having Babies convention in Taiwan. 

Whether it was crossing an ocean to find support somewhere that it was safe, or navigating the costs, or worrying about how the surrogate was doing when they couldn’t be nearby . . . Eddy tells us all about how their family of 3 was born. 

Really, is there anything that Laine can't do when it comes to helping people prepare for their parenting path?

Today I have the opportunity to introduce all of you to Laine Halpern Zisman. She explains all of the different ways that she supports people from the moment they begin thinking about creating their family through parenthood; whether it is offering fertility, prenatal and birth support,  through her business: Queer Conceptions or as she volunteers with Birthmark. Laine does it all.

She is an inspiration and to learn more about her and the work she does, please visit her Instagram page @queerconceptions She is also found on the Perinatal Wellbeing site: https://www.perinatalwellbeing.ca and at Birthmark: https://birthmarksupport.com

There are a variety of ways to create a family with the help of a surrogate. Some people use an agency, others don’t. Some use a gestational carrier they know, others don’t. Some use an egg donor they know - or are related to, others don’t. The list is endless as to the possibilities. 

One thing is for certain. It isn’t a fast way to create a family. It isn’t an inexpensive way to navigate this pathway. It isn’t without emotional ups and downs.

Today we have the opportunity to speak with Bret Shuford (@bretshuford) about the choices he and his husband Stephen made on their journey to meeting their sweet Maverick. 

As soon as one hears the designation “lactation consultant” they immediately envision someone who is going to insist upon feeding baby human milk, from the body, at all costs. 

Our conversation today with Azura Goodman reminds us that the most important thing is to first, feed the baby!! Second, do what your heart tells you to do and stop listening to the voices of the people around you who are not supporting you where you are on your parenting pathway.

Have a listen to the wisdom Azura has to share and how she supports all new parents as they evolve into the seasoned experts she knows they will become.

You can learn more about Azura and how to work with her by visiting: https://www.azurainfantfeeding.com or find her on Instagram @azurainfantfeeding