Becoming Me

Episode 119   

In this episode, I discuss the concept of spiritualising forgiveness and its implications in faith and daily life. I talk about how the struggles many people often face in integrating love and forgiveness in their lives are due to an insecure attachment with God and a fear of not doing the right thing.

I talk about the pitfalls of spiritualising forgiveness and how true forgiveness should lead to human flourishing rather than spiritual subjugation. I discuss the necessity of healing ourselves instead of just focusing on forgiving others, arguing that forgiveness is both a journey and God's work, not ours alone. I conclude this episode by offering practical advice on working towards forgiveness within a secure relationship with God.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:13) - Introduction
(00:00:50) - Exploring the Struggless with Forgiveness
(00:03:34) - Three Signs Indicating you may be Spiritualising Forgiveness
(00:09:32) - Understanding the True Essesnce of Forgiveness
(00:23:09) - Real-Life Complexities of Forgiveness in our Relationships
(00:29:48) - Exploring the Process of Forgiveness
(00:30:40) - Why do we Spiritualise Forgiveness
(00:38:41) - Embracing the Vastness of God's Love
(00:47:24) - How to Navigate our Emotions and Forgiveness
(00:55:04) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you recognise any of the three signs of spiritualization in your life? Is your attachement with God secure? Perhaps, there is a more concrete step which you can take towards recognising spiritualising forgiveness in your life and relationships. What might that be?

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Episode 118   

In this episode, I dive deep into the topic of self-care, self-love, and how they relate to spirituality from a Christian perspective. I challenge the common misconception within some Christian circles that self-care may be seen as a sign of weakness or indulgence.

I emphasise the importance of recognising our individual, personal needs for care and suggest that neglect of self-care might stem from past trauma. I encourage listeners to understand self-care as an expression of accepting God's love and affirm our worthiness for care, taking time to meet our physical needs without feeling guilty or indulgent.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
00:21 - Introduction
00:50 - Exploring the Complexities of Self-Care in our Faith
01:50 - The Misconceptions of Self-Care
06:04 - Self-Care: Indulgence vs. Discipline
13:33 - The Importance of Understanding Personal Needs
17:42 - Personalism vs. Individualism: A Deeper Dive
26:45 - Embracing Self-Care Without Shame
32:05 - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What is your relationship with self-care and self-love? Does it bring up negative feelings or experiences for you? Perhaps you have judged yourself harshing for indulging in self-care, or recognise this in others. How can we be free to care for ourselves?

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Episode 117   

In this in-depth discussion, I provide a Christian perspective on the journey of healing from complex trauma within a dysfunctional family setting. Six gentle reminders are shared for those trying to manage relationships within such dynamics: acknowledging the enmity; having a trustworthy third party; remembering self-abandonment is not love; not measuring up to an imagined ideal; grounding oneself in God's infinite love; and understanding that God sees the hidden suffering.

I emphasise the need for truth, self-protection, understanding the nature of abuse, the necessity of setting boundaries, and the importance of grounding oneself in God's unconditional love.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:23) - Introduction
(00:01:16) - The Challenges of Integration and Discipleship
(00:03:08) - Navigating Love and Enmity within Our Families
(00:04:10) - The Complexities of Healing and Relationships
(00:07:36) - Recognising and Addressing Toxic Family Dynamics
(00:11:05) - Six Gentle Reminders for Navigating Toxic Relathionships
(00:32:48) - Dealing with the Impacts of Setting Boundaries
(00:45:02) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Did anything in my sharing resonate with you strongly? Think about the six reminders that I've shared about in this episode. Which of these are the hardest to live out? Which of these reminders give you the most comfort on this journey?

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Episode 116 

In this episode I examine the connection between past emotional trauma and present conflicts in relationships. Aided by three personal stories, I illustrate how past familial conflicts have influenced my own internal emotional regulation triggering conflicts in my current relationships, especially within my marriage.

I also share how greater self-awareness can lessen the severity of conflicts, promote reconciliation, and foster greater empathy in relationships. I encourage listeners to explore their emotional patterns noticing how certain behaviours might be influenced by past experiences and unresolved issues.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:00:53) - Understanding the Importance of Interior Integration and Interior Healing
(00:03:04) - My Journey of Conflict and Self-Discovery
(00:05:57) - The Role of Past Experiences in Current Conflicts
(00:13:07) - Example: The Impact of Financial Sress on my Relationships
(00:19:55) - Recognising and Addressing Emotional Triggers
(00:28:42) - The Journey of Self-Awareness and Healing
(00:35:23) - The Importance of Repairing Relationships
(00:38:40) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you found yourself uncontrollably upset at someone or at a situation? Are the triggers in your life forming a pattern? Sometimes, we don't realised the effect our wounds have on our body. Certain incidents may trigger something in us, without us cognitively knowing first. Have you experienced something similar? What are your triggers? What are your patterns?

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Episode 115 

In this episode I explore the concept of 'enmeshment', a term used in psychology to describe dysfunctional family systems marked by poor boundaries between family members and thus over-dependence (and co-dependence).

I reflect on how growing up in an enmeshed family has affected my own mental health, relationships, and understanding of faith, leading me to develop a 'Messiah Complex' - or feeling compelled to constantly help others to my own detriment.

I highlight the important role of understanding personal emotional health and trauma while practicing faith, and encourage listeners to be more compassionate with themselves, to become more whole, and grow in capacity to love well and healthily.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:00:58) - Understanding Enmeshment and Attachment Styles
(00:06:44) - The Messiah Complex and its Consequences
(00:09:06) - My Personal Experiences with the Messiah Complex
(00:37:04) - The Impact of Enmeshment on Faith and Relationships
(00:43:33) - The Journey Towards Healing and Wholeness
(00:45:51) - The Importance of Alignment and Self-Understanding
(00:54:59) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced having the Messiah Complex in your life? Perhaps you identify and have felt moments of enmeshment in some of your relationships. How have these experiences hindered your relationship with God? Has it hindered others' relationship with you or with God?

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Episode 114 

If you're a people-pleaser, chances are good that you also have an insecure attachment with God and that your understanding of "pleasing God" comes from a place of anxiety rather than confidence.

This episode discusses the struggles of recovering people pleasers within the context of spiritual life. I  share some insights on a passage from 'Time for God' by Jacques Philippe, addressing the concept of pleasing God and how we can mis-interpret it when we lack healthy self-esteem and self-worth.

This is a particularly relevant episode to those struggling with people-pleasing and who often feel concerned that they are not "good enough" at pleasing God.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:33) - Introduction
(00:01:21) - The Connection between People-Pleasing and Pleasing God
(00:03:28) - The Root Cause of People-Pleasing
(00:06:24) - The Importance of Secure Attachement
(00:08:40) - The Journey towards Secure Attachment with God
(00:11:09) - The Grace of Humility
(00:16:07) - The Importance of Interior Integration
(00:19:03) - Embracing the Journey
(00:21:12) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you identify as a people-pleaser? Perhaps you recognise this in someone else. How does people-pleasing affect your relationship with God and with yourself? We need to have a secure attachment with ourselves and with God. Do you have this? How can you achieve this?

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Episode 113 

When those of us who never had boundaries start learning to exercise them, it can feel really "wrong" to us and this may keep us second guessing if drawing boundaries is the right thing to do.

In this episode I reflect upon the struggle of exercising personal boundaries in the context of faith, familial expectations, and societal norms. I delve into my journey of establishing an authentic relationship with God and how insecurities, trauma, and distorted perceptions can impact this process.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:16) - Introduction
(00:08:56) - The Struggle of Exercising Boundaries
(00:12:52) - The Impact of Dysfunctional Family Systems
(00:21:13) - The Role of Faith in Setting Boundaries
(00:38:17) - The Journey Towards Secure Attachment with God
(00:39:33) - My Personal Journey Towards Secure Attachment
(00:40:35) - The Fear and Anxiety of Making Mistakes
(00:43:34) - Embracing Freedom and Trust in God
(00:45:19) - The Impact of Secure Attachment on Our Identities
(00:46:54) - How to Exercise Boundaries
(00:47:15) - Overcoming Fear and Embracing God's Love
(00:53:42) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Do you struggle with boundaries? Think about a particular instance of where and when you were unable to feel safe enough to exercise your boundaries? Do you feel this way with God as well? We are meant to feel safe with ourselves and God. Do you feel this secure attachment yet?

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Episode 112   

In this episode's deep dive, I explain the vital connection between our senses of identity and security in faith, sharing insights drawn from Catholic tradition, modern psychology, and personal experience.

I share about my journey towards developing a secure attachment with God, and how the prayer of the Examen, which originated with St. Ignatius of Loyola, helped me in this journey.   Through integrating perspectives from the study of trauma, I share how focusing on the concept of God's constant and loving presence rather than on self-evaluation helped me to deepen my felt sense of security in God's love for me.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

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Episode 111   

Have you experienced feeling overwhelmed while making the interior journey? In this episode I propose three coping strategies for these difficult periods: the understanding that nothing real changes, realising that we are not the saviours of ourselves or the world, and being extra gentle and mindful towards ourselves.

I also highlight the significance of recognising seasons and rhythms in our lives and the importance of self-care during challenging times. This episode is relevant for anyone seeking comfort and guidance when confronting overwhelming emotions during their personal journeys towards authenticity and openness.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

Support the show

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Episode 110   

Conviction alone can’t get you where you want or need to go. When we don’t do the work of interior integration we often end up hiding behind our convictions to feel safe instead of flourishing because we are rooted in a secure relationship with God and our Self.

In this episode, I explore how personal integration is a crucial factor for living an authentic and balanced life. I share from my personal experience how having strong convictions doesn't necessarily lead to fruitful actions. Instead, it is the work of facing and accepting one's truths without fear, healing, and evolving through different stages of growth that helps us to become more open to divine grace and bear good fruit.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

Support the show

SUBSCRIBE | FOLLOW | SUPPORT

Social Media:
Follow Ann Yeong on Instagram or Facebook.

Newsletter:
Subscribe to Begin Again for Ann's updates and reflections.

Support the Show:
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Leave a Review:
If this podcast has blessed you, please leave a review by clicking here.