Becoming Me

Episode 129

In this episode, I engage in a deep and meaningful conversation with Catholic author and trauma therapist Brya Hanan. We delve into the complexities of trauma, particularly how it intersects with our faith journey. We explore how experiencing a resistance to going to church and attending mass can be a trauma response, and the importance of compassion and understanding in addressing these issues. This conversation aims to open up a space for greater empathy and curiosity about the unseen struggles of others, offering hope and guidance for those grappling with trauma in their spiritual lives.

GUEST PROFILE: BRYA HANAN LMFT

Watch this recording on YouTube.

RESOURCES ON SPIRITUAL TRAUMA
Trauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, PhD.
The Lord Is My Shepherd: Stepping Through the Shadows of Fear Toward the Voice of Love by KJ Ramsey
The Holy/Hurt Podcast by Dr. Hillary L McBride

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:22) - Introduction
(00:00:51) - Special Guest: Brya Hanan, Catholic Trauma Therapist
(00:01:46) - Personal Journey of Faith and Trauma
(00:03:24) - Understanding Trauma Responses
(00:05:31) - Reconnecting with Faith
(00:06:18) - The Impact of Trauma in a Church Setting
(00:08:26) - What Inner Child Healing Can Do
(00:11:43) - Integrating Therapy and Faith
(00:15:39) - Being Trauma-Informed
(00:24:20) - Trauma and Religious Practices
(00:33:45) - Understanding Our Bodies
(00:34:09) - Can I Will Myself? Is it all in my Mind?
(00:36:00) - The Impact of Trauma Responses
(00:43:49) - What goes on Behind the Scenes with Trauma
(00:47:22) - Integrating Faith and Holistic Healing
(00:51:47) - Useful Resources
(00:54:38) - Final Thoughts

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you been struggling with going to mass or with something similar? Do you notice how your body feels and reacts? This could be an impact of trauma. Has there anything else in this episode that speaks to you?

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Episode 128   

In this final episode of the season, I share how my understanding of faithfulness has evolved as I healed. Initially, my understanding of faithfulness was deeply rooted in a binary, performance-based perspective, influenced by my cultural and religious upbringing. I viewed it as a straightforward measure of adherence to a set of religious practices and moral standards, essentially a checklist that delineated a clear boundary between being faithful and unfaithful.

This perspective was challenged and eventually transformed through a journey of interior healing and unlearning, prompted by encounters with others who shared their struggles and a pivotal personal retreat that revealed the inadequacy of my foundational beliefs about faithfulness. I came to realise that faithfulness is not about meeting a predefined set of criteria perfectly but about authentic engagement with God's love and grace amidst our imperfections.

This new understanding of faithfulness as dynamic, multi-layered, and diverse in expression, deeply influenced by personal context and inner disposition, has significantly altered how I perceive myself and others, fostering a more compassionate and nuanced view of our collective striving towards faithfulness.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:17) - Introduction
(00:02:01) - The Importance of Conviction and Integration
(00:07:20) - The Role of Trauma in Personal Growth
(00:10:21) - Virtue and Emotion Regulation
(00:11:51) - The Struggle of Living Out Convictions
(00:13:58) - God's Love in Personal Transformation
(00:25:58) - The Challenge of Living Out Conovictions in Relationships
(00:26:59) - The Journey of Healing and Integration
(00:29:52) - The Role of Discernment in the Interior Journey
(00:43:20) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced being full of passion and conviction about the kind of life you want to live while realising that you don't have the power to make that conviction a reality in your life? Can you identify how a lack of integration may be the reason for that?

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Episode 127   

In this podcast episode, I open up about a deeply personal and often stigmatised issue - my struggle with compulsions and addictions. I discuss how these issues are not only challenging to confront but are also shrouded in shame and secrecy, particularly when they deal with substance abuse or sex.

Drawing from my experiences, I reflect on the societal pressure to maintain an image of responsibility and control, and how even socially acceptable compulsions, like binge-watching TV or overworking, can trigger feelings of shame. I share the profound impact that self-criticism and a lack of compassion have had on my journey, emphasising the pivotal role of interior integration in my healing process.

Through exploring concepts like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the importance of understanding the underlying trauma behind compulsive behaviors, I advocate for a compassionate approach to oneself. The episode highlights my transformation towards self-love, emphasising that divine love and self-compassion are crucial for overcoming compulsions and addictions and finding wholeness.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:01:36) - The Shame of Compulsions and Addictions
(00:02:49) - Personal Struggles and Shame
(00:06:05) - The Cycle of Addiction and Repentance
(00:11:34) - Experiencing God's Unconditional Love
(00:15:41) - The Role of Self-Compassion
(00:28:16) - Internal Family Systems (IFS)
(00:29:07) - 1. Managers
(00:29:50) - 2. Exiles
(00:30:48) - 3. Firefighters
(00:37:15) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you ever found yourself in similar patterns of compulsion? Are you able to recognise the root of these addictions and compulsions? Think about some of the ways you have been using certain compulsions and habits to escape unpleasantness in your life. Is there a better way?

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Episode 126   

In this episode, I delve into a poignant question raised during a webinar Q&A session about whether connecting with oneself inevitably enhances our connections with others, especially when expressing our true selves might not be warmly accepted by everyone.

I unravel the complexities surrounding authentic connections, emphasising the significance of embracing our true selves for genuine interactions and personal growth. I reflect on personal experiences and the challenges of maintaining authenticity in relationships.

I explore the indicators of growth on this journey, highlighting the fruits of the Holy Spirit as markers of deep, authentic self-connection and its profound impact on our relationships. This episode aims to broaden our understanding of how true self-connection can foster more meaningful and authentic relationships, despite the challenges that may arise.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Embracing Your True Self & Making Authentic Connections
(00:00:21) - Introduction
(00:00:58) - Unveiling the True Self
(00:02:33) - Addressing a Vital Question: Authenticity and Connection
(00:05:25) - Exploring the Nuances of Authentic Connections
(00:09:17) - The Challenge of Being True to Oneself
(00:16:17) - Authenticity in Relationships
(00:23:37) - Indicators of Growth in the Interior Journey
(00:23:59) - Fruits of the Holy Spirit
(00:33:25) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
How has this episode resonated with you? Do you struggle with authenticity and living out your true self? What are some factors that make it challenging? Think about the relationships and connections in your life. Do you think they are authentic?

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Episode 125   

In this episode of our current series, I delve into the topic of whether choosing a therapist or spiritual director of the same faith, specifically Christian or Catholic, is crucial for one's journey towards interior integration. How important is a therapist’s faith in their effectiveness for our interior journey and how much difference would having a Christian/Catholic therapist make vs one who doesn’t share our faith?

In this video I unpack the subconscious assumptions we have about Christian/Catholic therapists and systematically explain why a therapist’s professional competence and ability to offer a safe, judgment-free space for healing is much more important than their professed faith in helping us in our interior integration journey.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:00) - Introduction
(00:00:48) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist
(00:02:03) - Choosing a Catholic / Christian Therapist
(00:03:38) - The Significance of a Therapist's Faith
(00:13:33) - Why Professional Competence Outweighs Faith in Therapy
(00:19:23) - Understanding What 'Catholic Therapist' Really Means
(00:26:36) - The Impact of Professional Competence and Integrity
(00:29:43) - Navigating Therapy with Faith and Emotional Healing
(00:31:44) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Therapist
(00:32:26) - Personal Responsibility in Therapy and Integration
(00:43:56) - The Role of a Therapist's Faith
(00:57:06) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
After listening to my sharing, how do you feel? Do you still think that a counsellor or therapist of the same faith is important? Why do you feel this way? If you have been for counselling or therapy, what was your experience like? Was it a safe space for you? If you're looking to start your counselling journey, what do you look for in a counsellor or therapist?

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Episode 124   

In this episode, I delve into the continuation of my exploration on seeking guidance, pivoting from the quest for a spiritual director to the intricate process of choosing a therapist. I reveal key considerations that have shaped my approach, highlighting the vital step of discerning which 'layer of life' demands healing - be it surface-level challenges or the deeper, foundational issues of one's core self.

Drawing from my own experiences with counseling and psychotherapy, I elucidate the differences between the two, emphasising how they cater to distinct needs, from coping with immediate external stressors to addressing profound and complex traumas. Additionally, I address pragmatic aspects like budgeting for therapy sessions and the importance of a therapist's qualifications, their understanding of trauma, and their commitment to professional growth.

This is a highly practical episode for listeners new to discerning whether a therapist is a good match for them.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - Continuing My Sharing: From Spiritual Directors to Therapists
(00:03:48) - Understanding the Layers of Life for Healing
(00:08:42) - Choosing Between Counseling and Psychotherapy
(00:16:59) - Starting Your Therapeutic Journey: Tips and Considerations
(00:26:52) - Navigating Budget and Professional Expertise in Therapy
(00:37:34) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Has anything from my sharing resonated with you? Do you feel like you have plateaued in this season of your journey? Could you be in a space of needing something different, something more? Consider this for a moment, and be open to where God may lead you. What might your next step be?  

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Episode 123   

In this in-depth episode, I share my personal experiences and insights on the importance and process of selecting a spiritual director to guide one's spiritual journey.  I outline five key considerations that have proved pivotal in my journey: assessing the spiritual director's emotional and spiritual maturity, understanding my current spiritual needs and season, recognising the stage of my interior journey, considering my budget and the different types of spiritual directors available, and finally, the critical role of discernment in action, emphasizing the reliance on synchronicity and God's guidance.

Alongside these considerations, I share my reflections, personal anecdotes and recommend several books that have greatly aided me in navigating my own spiritual path.

Books mentioned:
The Friend of the Bridegroom by Thomas H. Green SJ
Experiencing God: The Three Stages of Prayer by Thomas H. Green SJ
Opening to God: A Guide to Prayer by Thomas H. Green SJ
Armchair Mystic: How Contemplative Prayer Can Lead You Closer to God by Mark Thibodeaux SJ

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:14) - Introduction
(00:00:51) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Spiritual Director
(00:04:53) - Five Key Considerations for Selecting a Spiritual Director
(00:14:56) - Understanding Your Needs and Where You are on Your Journey
(00:26:20) - Practical Aspects: Budget and Types of Spiritual Directors
(00:35:32) - Taking Action in Your Discernment Process
(00:37:49) - The Grace of Synchronicity in Spiritual Guidance
(00:42:19) - Transitioning Between Spiritual Directors: Embracing Change
(00:49:25) - Navigating Seasons Without a Spiritual Director
(00:51:23) - Leveraging Books for Spiritual Direction and Growth
(01:01:34) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Has any of the five key considerations resonated with you in my sharing? Perhaps you have experienced and noticed one or more of these considerations in your life. Are there any the signs that you should discern changing your current spiritual director? What might your experience of these signs be? If you do not yet have a spiritual director, which of these consideration

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Episode 122   

This episode covers practical advice for individuals deeply invested in their integrated spiritual and emotional healing journeys. I particularly emphasise the importance of recognising when it might be time to change one's spiritual director or therapist and provide listeners with THREE signs that may indicate that it is time for a change.

There is often a natural evolution in such guidance relationships because progress in one's spiritual journey may necessitate change due to the different stages of personal development and the inherent limitations of any single guide.

Three main signs indicating the need for a new spiritual direction or therapeutic relationship are elaborated upon: the feeling of plateauing in one's growth, a change in the dynamics of the relationship that may challenge its professional boundaries, and a reduction in the feeling of safety with the current spiritual director or therapist.

The discussion also stresses the importance of being trauma-informed and recognising when deeper therapeutic work is needed beyond spiritual direction. This episode will help listeners discern their needs more effectively and make changes that support their ongoing spiritual and emotional growth.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:26) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - The Importance of Choosing the Right Spiritual Director or Counselor
(00:04:39) - Understanding the Need for Change in Spiritual Guidance
(00:10:11) - Sign #1: You're No Longer Growing
(00:16:26) - Sign #2: The Relationship Has Changed
(00:21:29) - Sign #3: You No Longer Feel Safe
(00:30:43) - Navigating the Transition: Moving On
(00:36:11) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Did anything resonate with you in my Live sharing? Have you experienced any of the three signs that I've shared? Perhaps you have experienced more that one of the signs. What is stopping you from moving on to other resources?

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Episode 121   

In this episode of Becoming Me, I delve into the contemplative heart of interior integration. I talk about the integration of spirituality, psychology, neuroscience, and other fields as essential in the journey of self-discovery. Using metaphors and reflecting on my own experiences, I emphasise the role of contemplation in managing life's paradoxes and challenges.

I explain how contemplation, or being with God, serves as a foundational point, helping us embrace our complexities and live out our faith deeply. I offer assurance that, despite the complexities of the interior integration journey, finding stability in contemplation can bring peace and grace into our lives. I also suggest ways to cultivate awareness to recognise contemplative moments daily, guiding listeners towards profound self-understanding and a closer relationship with the divine.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:26) - Introduction
(00:01:04) - The Heart of Interior Integration
(00:09:42) - Exploring the Contemplative Heart
(00:12:40) - The Power of Contemplation in Healing
(00:15:41) - Embracing Paradoxes and Tensions
(00:21:10) - Contemplation: Beyond "Saying Prayers"
(00:23:01) - Real-Life Examples of Contemplation
(00:37:58) - Cultivating Awareness and Stillness
(00:40:11) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
What is contemplation? Do you find yourself being constantly busy? Have you experienced the stillness of God's love? Perhaps there has been an instance of this experience of stillness, even during a crisis. How can you live a life of contemplation?

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Episode 120   

In this episode I highlight three common spiritual blocks: the inability to develop a close and intimate relationship with God, the struggle with being still and silent, and the challenges of discernment and decision-making.

We often think of these as spiritual blocks, but in my experience, they have a lot to do with attachment trauma. Spirituality rests on the bedrock of our humanity, it is part of our humanity not apart from it. Our nervous system, body, our emotions, our rational mind - they all form an organic WHOLE that is much more than the sum of each part.

This sharing will be particularly beneficial for spiritual directors and formators who may have more learning on spiritual development but less knowledge on how attachment wounds affect people’s ability to mature spiritually.

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
(00:00:18) - Introduction
(00:00:55) - The Journey of Integration: A Personal Story
(00:01:23) - Exploring the Intersection of Spirituality and Personal Growth
(00:04:17) - The Role of Emotional Healing in Spiritual Direction
(00:07:27) - Unveiling Three Spiritual Blocks Linked to Attachment Trauma
(00:08:04) - The Impact of Religion and Spirituality on Mental Health
(00:10:05) - Navigating Spiritual Blocks: Personal Reflections and Insights
(00:25:40) - Understanding Attachment Styles and Their Influence on Spirituality
(00:40:33) - Different Perspectives of Perfection and Wholeness
(00:50:00) - Conclusion

TRANSCRIPT
Available here.

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you experienced any of the three common spiritual blocks I've spoken about? Do you perhaps recognise these blocks in people close to you, in your communities? Think about an instance where you had to discern. How did it make you feel? Did you feel safe? Did you feel unconditionally loved by God?

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