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You ever wake up and think, “Wow… I survived that?” Because today, Beer Heart, we’re diving into the kind of hangovers that make you question your life choices, your hydration levels, and maybe even your religion. If you’ve ever whispered “never again” while clutching a Gatorade, this round is for you.
Round 335
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Join the Beer Thursday Patreon and support the show! The next 18 Patrons who join at the $10 Level get exclusive access to the Beer Thursday Facebook group — where the hangovers are fake, but the friendship is real. Plus, you help us keep making the rounds you love.
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If you want to see drinks that didn’t cause these hangovers, follow Jay’s beertography magic on Instagram at @BeerThursdayShow. Cold drinks, warm cigars, and zero judgment.
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Make sure you follow the show and tap that glorious fifth star. It helps other thirsty humans find us and keeps the rounds flowing every Thursday.
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Here’s what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
This round is a wild ride through the worst hangovers Jay and Shayne have ever survived. We’re talking whiskey from Spain, “still drunk at church,” cold‑sweat margarita emergencies, and the legendary Vegas flight where Jay ended up in the jump seat with the flight attendants.
Shayne shares the time he woke up barefoot in the snow outside a random mountain trailer, and the time he chugged rum from a sippy cup — yes, really — before sleeping until 4:30 PM.
If you’ve ever had a hangover so bad you questioned your life choices, your career, or your ability to stand upright, this round will make you feel seen. And maybe a little better about your own decisions.
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Disclosure: I don’t really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie‑ficial Intelligence!
Space: the final frontier. And apparently, the perfect place to crack open a Miller Lite and settle some extremely important debates. In this spacey round 334, Shayne and Jay boldly go where no podcast has gone before, ranking the Star Trek captains from worst to first.
It gets nerdy. It gets funny. It gets weirdly sentimental about Chris Pine.
**In this round:**
**Round 334. [A redux of Round 49!]**
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**Join the Beer Thursday Crew on Patreon!**
Want to hang out with fellow beer lovers between rounds? The next 17 Patrons who join at the $10 level get access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group. Come for the beer talk, stay for the chaos.
👉 https://www.patreon.com/beerthursday
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**Follow Jay's Beertography on Instagram!**
Jay points his camera at beers, cigars, and whatever looks cool in the glass. It's called Beertography, and it slaps. Follow us at @BeerThursdayShow for the visual side of the round.
👉 https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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If this round made you laugh, think, or Google "Kelvin timeline," do us a solid. Subscribe so you never miss a round, and leave us a 5-star review. It helps more than you know, and we appreciate every single one.
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
**Star Trek Captains Ranked: Kirk, Picard, Pike, and the Rest of the Bridge**
Shayne and Jay crack open cold ones and tackle a question that has divided Trekkies for decades: who is the greatest Star Trek captain of all time?
Jay brings a full ranked list. Shayne brings knowledge of exactly three captains. Together, they somehow make it work.
**The Bottom of the List**
Jeffrey Hunter's Christopher Pike lands dead last. He barely got a chance, and when we see him again, he's basically a talking box with a head. Not exactly captain material. Hikaru Sulu makes the list too, a loyal helmsman who earned his ship but couldn't quite carry the flag.
**The Middle of the Pack**
Benjamin Sisko, George Kirk (dad of the year for 15 heroic minutes), Spock, William T. Riker, Jonathan Archer, and Captain Janeway all clock in across the middle rankings. Shayne and Jay also make a very valid point: Starfleet needs more female captains. The future apparently still has some work to do.
**The Top Five**
Christopher Pike as played by Anson Mount (Strange New Worlds) checks in at number five. Bruce Greenwood's Kelvin timeline Pike lands at four. Jean-Luc Picard, calm, brilliant, and bald, comes in at three. Then it's all Kirk from there.
Chris Pine's Kirk is charming, fun, and gets better with every movie. But William Shatner's Kirk is number one, and honestly, was there ever any doubt?
The round also somehow becomes a Chris Pine appreciation segment, which nobody planned and everybody enjoyed.
**Today's Toast:**
*"Here's to honesty and fair dealing, the secret of life. If you can fake that, you've got it made."*
Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie‑ficial Intelligence!
Y'all reckon you know how to talk right? Shayne and Jay crack open Round 333 to argue about the way folks say things depending on which side of the Mason-Dixon they grew up on. From crawfish boils to caramel sundaes, this one gets linguistic, a little chaotic, and completely off the rails in the best way possible.
Topics include:
**Round 333**
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**Follow Jay's Beertography on Instagram!**
Jay points his camera at drinks, cigars, and whatever else looks interesting, and honestly? It slaps. Follow the visual side of Beer Thursday at @BeerThursdayShow. Your feed needs it. https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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**Subscribe, Rate, and Review!**
If this round made you smile, snort-laugh, or question how you've been saying crayon your whole life, please subscribe and leave us a 5-star review. It helps more people find the show, and we are not above begging.
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Round 333 of Beer Thursday tackles one of the great American debates: does where you grow up change the way you talk? Spoiler alert — yes, and Shayne and Jay have opinions about it.
They work through 10 of 20 regional pronunciation differences, covering words like firefly vs. lightning bug, lawyer vs. lawyer (yeah, those sound different depending on who's talking), and caramel vs. carmel. They also take a deep dive into crawfish culture, crawdad controversies, and whether sucking the head is worth the effort.
Jay confesses to full-blown drive-through panic disorder. Shayne defends every syllable in mayonnaise. Both of them agree the internet is wrong about lightning bugs. The toast? A sharp little zinger about politics that Shayne wrote with his own two thumbs.
Part 2 is already waiting for Patrons. Everyone else gets it eventually. Maybe.
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Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie-ficial Intelligence!
Lights, camera, attraction! Shayne and Jay are cracking open Round 332 and diving into the most beautiful characters ever put on screen. Not the actresses. Not their favorites. The *characters*. There's a difference, and these two are going to explain it while probably getting distracted by Ewan McGregor and Batman.
**Welcom to Round 332!**
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**Join the Beer Thursday Patreon!**
Want more Beer Thursday in your life? Of course you do. The next 17 Patrons who jump in at the $10 level get access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group. That's where the real conversation happens. Come hang with us.
👉 https://www.patreon.com/beerthursday
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**Follow Jay's Beertography on Instagram!**
Jay doesn't just drink with his mouth. He drinks with his eyes too. Follow along for stunning shots of craft beers, cigars, and whatever else catches his lens.
📸 @BeerThursdayShow
👉 https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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If Beer Thursday makes your week a little better, pay it forward. Subscribe so you never miss a round, and drop us a 5-star review. It helps more people find the show, and we are very easy to like.
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Shayne surprised Jay with a topic neither of them fully prepared for, and it worked beautifully. The game? Name the *character*, not the actress. Harder than it sounds after a beer or two.
Keira Knightley's Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean kicked things off. Then Nicole Kidman as Satine in Moulin Rouge made everyone want to rewatch that film immediately. Jennifer Garner's Jenna Rink from 13 Going on 30 got bonus points for being Marvel canon (yes, really). Morena Baccarin's Inara Serra from Serenity, Kate Beckinsale as Selene from Underworld, and Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn all made the list with zero argument.
The Bond girls showed up strong. Honey Ryder from Dr. No. Tatiana Romanova from From Russia With Love. These two clearly did a Bond marathon and took notes.
Julie Newmar as Catwoman from the 1960s Batman TV show got a standing ovation, and Shayne threw in Barbara Gordon for good measure. Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange made the cut. Eva Green as Artemisia from 300: Rise of an Empire. Ashley Greene as Alice Cullen from Twilight (yes, Shayne admitted it). And Ana de Armas as Eve Maccaro from Ballerina closed the round out in style.
The toast? All about ships. Every kind.
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Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie‑ficial Intelligence!
Ah yes, getting older. That magical time of life when you wake up with mystery bruises, your knees file noise complaints, and your biggest victory of the day is finding a parking spot you can pull through. Shayne and Jay crack open a cold one and get into the beautiful disaster that is aging, covering topics like:
**Welcome to Round 331!**
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**Join the Beer Thursday Patreon!**
Want more Beer Thursday in your life? Of course you do. Join the Patreon and help keep the beer cold and the mics hot. The next 17 Patrons who start at the $10 level get access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group. Come hang out with us.
https://www.patreon.com/beerthursday
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**Follow Jay's Beertography on Instagram!**
Jay doesn't just drink beer. He photographs it like it owes him money. Follow @BeerThursdayShow for drool-worthy drink and cigar photography that makes your feed look way more sophisticated than you are.
https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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If Beer Thursday makes your week a little better, do us a solid and leave a 5-star review wherever you listen. Subscribe so you never miss a round. We appreciate every single one of you.
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Welcome to Round 331, where Shayne and Jay tackle one of life's great unavoidable adventures: getting older. And spoiler alert, it's a lot louder than you'd expect.
**The body is doing things.**
Jay rocks himself out of chairs. His knee makes a scratchy sound on morning walks. Nobody knows where the bruises come from. Robin may or may not be involved. Shayne's ankles pop like bubble wrap every morning, and he's fully okay with that because it feels good.
**Sleep is a contact sport now.**
Both guys wake up with new mystery pains. Jay has perfected the art of negotiating with his bladder at 6:45 AM. Shayne wakes up no matter what time he went to bed. The body has opinions and it is sharing them loudly.
**Getting older hits different in public.**
Jay spotted a bunch of old people on his morning walk and thought they were cute. Then he realized he was one of them. He also checks the weather app constantly, parks near exits like Clark Griswold, and has strong feelings about Aldi.
**Nostalgia math is real.**
When Jay says "the other day," he means sometime in the last decade. Maybe. Retelling stories you've already told? Absolutely. Letting your friends retell theirs anyway? That's just good manners at this age.
**The toast that started it all:**
"Here's to drinking alone together."
Cheers to that.
Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie-ficial Intelligence!
Beer Heart, we thought this list had 15 phrases. Turns out it has more entries than a CVS receipt. But we’re committed. Or maybe we should be committed. Either way, grab a drink and join us as we stumble through Part 3 of the phrases we apparently can’t say anymore. Even though we just said all of them.
Inspired by the article "30 phrases liberals won't let us say anymore," which said 15 when we started recording.
Round 325
Go meet our friend Brian and his poetry!
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Patreons heard this round back in March! Don't want 6 months to see how the next cliffhanger ends!
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Want to see what Jay’s beer, cigars, or accidentally photographing at weird angles? Follow @BeerThursdayShow on Instagram for beertography so good it should probably be illegal in at least three states.
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Make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss a round, and drop us a 5‑star rating and review. It helps more people find the show — even the ones who still say “tone‑deaf.”
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
In this round, Shayne and Jay tackle another batch of “forbidden” phrases, and wow… the list gets wilder than a cult leader with a Flavor Aid coupon.
They break down everything from “peanut gallery” to “blind leading the blind,” debate whether “homeless” is now “unhoused,” and discover that “lowest on the totem pole” apparently offends everyone except actual totem poles.
There’s a rant about Thanksgiving, a detour into the Dixie Chicks, a philosophical crisis about the word “crazy,” and a moment where both hosts forget what they were talking about mid‑sentence.
Classic Beer Thursday energy.
Plus: a toast involving cults, Capuchins, and the strong recommendation to not join anything requiring matching robes.
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Disclosure: I don’t really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie‑ficial Intelligence!
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Chapters
00:00 – Welcome Back to the Chaos
01:24 – Peanut Gallery Panic
03:28 – Blind Leading the Blind… Again
05:35 – Drinking the Kool‑Aid (Not Beer Thursday!)
07:36 – Toast Time: Cult Edition
05:49 – Too Many Chiefs, Not Enough Sense
10:22 – Dumb, Lame, and Other “Forbidden” Words
12:40 – Lowest on the Totem Pole (Apparently Offensive)
14:05 – Crazy About Chairman Like a Girl
17:00 – Homeless vs. Unhoused
18:49 – Thanksgiving or National Day of Mourning?
21:23 – Tone‑Deaf Takes on Tone‑Deaf
24:28 - Addicted to Man Hours!
26:37 – All Lives Matter… Missing the Point
29:04 – Wrapping Up the Never‑Ending List
Cape on. Cowl crooked. Beer cracked open. Shayne and Jay are back for Part 2 of their DC movie deep dive, and they brought receipts. Justice League had a suspiciously familiar villain. Aquaman had an identity crisis. Shazam somehow surprised everybody. And Harley Quinn got the movie she absolutely deserved.
In this round:
Round 329 [a Redux of round 46]
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Join the Beer Thursday Patreon!If this show brings you joy, consider becoming a Patron. The next 17 Patrons who start at the $10 level unlock access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group. You get more Shayne and Jay. They get to buy better beer. Everybody wins. Join us at https://www.patreon.com/beerthursday
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Follow Jay's Beertography on Instagram!Jay's camera eye is just as sharp as his movie opinions. Follow @BeerThursdayShow on Instagram and feast your eyes on his Beertography, because your drinks should look as good as they taste.
https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Shayne and Jay pick up right where they left off, still knee-deep in DC movies and still arguing about which ones actually hold up.
Justice League gets mixed but mostly decent marks. Joss Whedon stepped in for Zack Snyder and brought a lighter tone. Shayne noticed the villain's whole "collect three boxes for cosmic power" plan looked a little familiar. It rhymes with Bfinity Stones. Once Superman showed back up, Steppenwolf was done. And nobody was a fan of that voice filter.
Aquaman splits the guys right down the middle. Jay called it cheap, cheesy, and overhyped. Shayne liked it more and says Jason Momoa is the whole reason Aquaman works at all now. Also, Jango Fett himself, Temura Morrison, had a role. James Wan directed. It's better than Jay remembers.
Shazam gets real love. Zachary Levi (yes, that's Chuck from the TV show) plays a superhero who looks like he's actually having fun, and the guys agree the lighter tone made it stand out.
Birds of Prey lands strong. Margot Robbie owns Harley Quinn, Ewan McGregor makes a great villain, and the guys are genuinely impressed by DC's track record with strong female leads before Marvel got there.
They close out by looking ahead: Wonder Woman 1984, the Suicide Squad reboot, The Batman, Black Adam, the Flash's Flashpoint storyline, and the hope that Henry Cavill stays Superman for a good long time.
Toast of the round: "Here's to being single, drinking doubles, and seeing triple." Jay also finished an entire bottle on air. No notes.
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Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie-ficial Intelligence!
Ever sat in a conversation nodding along like you totally get it, while internally screaming? Yeah. Shayne and Jay crack open Round 328 to tackle the fine art of pretending you know what you're talking about. Spoiler: they prove the point.
Topics in this round:
Round 328
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Want to be part of something you actually understand? Join the Beer Thursday Patreon. The next 17 Patrons who start at the $10 level get access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group. No fake knowledge required.
https://www.patreon.com/beerthursday
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Jay's photography never pretends. Cold pours, cigar shots, and all the good stuff we call Beertography wait for you at @BeerThursdayShow. Come see what a guy who actually knows his angles looks like.
https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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If this round made you feel a little better about all the things you fake-understand, subscribe to Beer Thursday and drop a 5-star review. Tell a friend who also has no idea what CMYK means.
Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Round 328 is proof that none of us really know what we're talking about. And that's beautiful.
Shayne and Jay start with a simple question: what do people pretend to understand? The list gets weird fast.
Wine? Shayne knows red and white. Jay orders Pinot Noir because it sounds fancy. Neither could pick a Cabernet in a blind taste test. The best wine knowledge in the room: "this pairs well with a gunny sack and algebra."
Whiskey? Shayne picks up oak, vanilla, and "a hint of fear." Their friend Brian's legendary move: just say "I'm getting a very strong whiskey taste" and own it. That's the play. Write it down.
Crypto? Jay is pretending to agree. Shayne says it's basically gambling. That's the most honest take on cryptocurrency anyone has ever given. No notes.
Printers? Jay tries to explain CMYK and goes down a rabbit hole that proves, in real time, that nobody in this recording studio understands toner. Or ink. Or the difference between them. The octopus tangent does not help. At all.
The guys land on the perfect takeaway: never assume you know what you're talking about. But always pretend that you do.
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Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie-ficial Intelligence!
Buckle up, because Shayne and Jay are back with another spin of the Random Topic Generator. Volume 8, baby! No script, no plan, no problem. From which holidays should get the axe to whether AI is our savior or our doom, this round covers it all with the warmth of a cold beer and the wisdom of two guys who probably should not be trusted with wisdom.
Topics this round include:
**Round 327**
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Join the Beer Thursday Patreon!
The next 17 Patrons who sign up at the $10 level get access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group where the fun keeps going between rounds. Don't wait! Those spots go fast.
👉 https://www.patreon.com/beerthursday
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**Jay's got an eye for the good stuff.**
Follow @BeerThursdayShow on Instagram for some seriously gorgeous Beertography: cold pints, cigars, and the kind of shots that make you thirsty just scrolling through.
👉 https://www.instagram.com/beerthursdayshow/
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**Subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell a friend.**
It takes 2 minutes, and it means the world to us.
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Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Round 327 is a wild ride through the Random Topic Generator, Volume 8, and Shayne and Jay do not disappoint.
**Should we get rid of a holiday?**
Shayne votes to cancel Presidents' Day and give Washington and Lincoln their own days back. Jay just wants whatever days he already has off. Relatable.
**More holidays or fewer?**
Both guys agree: MORE. Shayne wants meaningful celebrations like Spain's saint days. Jay just nods and takes a sip. Also relatable.
**What technology would blow medieval minds?**
Honestly? A book. Or a phone. Or literally anything with a screen. Medieval Europe had zero chill about miracles.
**Most influential book?**
Jay goes deep with Groucho Marx and Stephen King's *On Writing*. Shayne credits *Dune* for making him hyper-suspicious of coworkers. And weirdly okay with it.
**Will technology save or destroy us?**
Both agree: technology is fine. People are the problem.
Classic humans.
**Where do you eat most?**
Jay: Subway. Dream Jay: Bob's Steak and Chophouse or Frankie's Mexican. Shayne's currently in a Costa Vida chili lime chicken era and he is NOT sorry.
Toast of the round: *"Here's to randomness. You never know when it's gonna happen, and it always does sometimes, except when it doesn't, and it keeps you thinking because it's random."*
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Disclosure: I don't really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie‑ficial Intelligence!
You know, Shayne, every time we try to talk about “phrases we can’t say anymore,” we somehow end up saying all of them… loudly… and usually in the wrong order. But hey, if you can’t laugh at canceled phrases, then bless you. No—wait. Sorry. Gesundheit. Or Jesus. Whatever keeps the internet happy.
Join us for Part 2 of [so many] Phrases You Can't Say anymore. Check out Part 1 that aired back in March.
Round 322
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Don't you wish you could have heard this right after part 1? If you're a Patreon, you did!
If you enjoy Beer Thursday and want to support two grown men bravely misusing language on a weekly basis [and don't want to wait 6 months for dramatic conclusions], join us on Patreon!
The next 18 patrons who join at the $10 level get access to the exclusive Beer Thursday Facebook group, where the phrases are even more questionable.
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And don’t forget to follow us on Instagram at @BeerThursdayShow, where Jay posts his world‑famous beertography—featuring drinks, cigars, and zero canceled phrases. Probably.
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Make sure you’re subscribed so every new round magically appears in your feed. And if you leave us a five‑star review, we promise to only say slightly offensive things in your honor.
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Here’s what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round:
Shayne and Jay dive into another batch of “phrases we can’t say anymore,” starting with the apparently dangerous greeting Merry Christmas. They debate whether anyone is actually offended, invent “Best Witches,” and wonder who decided joy was illegal.
Then they tackle boys will be boys, which somehow leads to dinosaurs, woolly mammoths, and Todd falling out of a tree. They break down I don’t see color, discuss colorblind friends, and remind everyone to lighten up.
Next up: bless you, which is now offensive because… reasons. Shayne shares Spanish sneeze etiquette (“Jesus!”), Jay mispronounces salud, and everyone gets confused.
Finally, they realize the article has way more than 15 phrases, question their counting skills, and decide a part three is inevitable. Because boys will be boys… and podcasters will be podcasters.
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Chapters
00:00 – Holiday Chaos
Shayne and Jay debate Merry Christmas and Best Witches.
00:45 – Who’s Offended?
The guys try to find a single offended person.
04:00 – Boys Will Be Boys
Dinosaurs, mammoths, and childhood injuries.
06:02 – Toxic Manity
Breaking down the “boys will be boys” argument.
7:36 - Raise Your Glass for a Toast
Enjoy our weekly toast. To us!
08:53 – I Don’t See Color
Colorblind jokes and ironic usage.
11:39 – Bless You!
Why sneezes are now controversial.
12:48 – Spanish Jesus
Shayne reveals Spain’s sneeze tradition.
14:46 - He Who Shall Not Be Named
Don't Say Columbus
16:54 – Land the Plane
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Disclosure: I don’t really have a house elf. Artie is AI. Get it? Artie‑ficial Intelligence!
From the publisher's feed