Before You Quit

I know that today’s topic is touching on something that is not talked much about. However, in my over 34 years of pastoring it’s an issue that is all to real in the church community and it is the subject of sexual abuse. Through my counseling and pastoral ministry I have met countless people who sadly have to include the painful experience of having been sexually abused. Often, the impact of this doesn’t hit until well into adulthood and often impacts the marriage relationship.Well, that brings us to our special guest today, Dr Bill Ronzheimer who knows first hand what it is like to be married to someone who has been sexually abused. Bill is now president of Marriage Reconstruction  Marriage Reconstruction Ministries was founded by Bill and Pamela Ronzheimer. After serving at Alliance Bible Church in Mequon, WI for 39 years, the couple has transitioned to Minnesota. It is here that they launched Marriage Reconstruction Ministries Inc. Marriage Reconstruction exists to support and help men and women rebuild marriages affected by a wife’s childhood sexual abuse. After 40 years of marriage, the Ronzheimers have two married daughters and three grandchildren also living in Minnesota. Bill and Pamela have listed their personal bios below Bill is the author of Help, My Wife Is A Survivor of Sexual Abuse.

For the Marriage Reconstruction Ministry webpage click here

The post Podcast Ep.56: The Impact of Sexual Abuse on the Marriage (Dr. Bill Ronzheimer) appeared first on Before You Quit.

“It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear…So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to listen to him. Christians, especially ministers, so often think they must always contribute something when they are in the company of others, that this is the one service they have to render. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Learning to listen well, really listen is one of the greatest gifts given to us by our creator. Listening is more than asking questions, it’s leaning in, tuning in to what is in the heart of the other person. God is a listening God, and he calls us to listen as part of our gospel responsibility. What a privilege to discuss this all important topic with Pastor Darryl Handy.

ABOUT PASTOR DARRYL: Coming to faith in Jesus in 1990, Darryl sensed the calling to serve the people of God as a pastor in the late 90â€s leading him to do his graduate studies at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. During that time his wife, Anne, and he welcomed two boys into their lives, Joshua and Caleb. After a few years working in the non-church world, Darryl served in a church-planter residency program where he trained to serve as a lead-pastor in a church plant context. Darryl served in the Northern Suburbs of Chicago for two years and then moved to NC to join the Christian and Missionary Alliance (C&MA). He currently serves as pastor for Mission Community Church in Dillsboro, NC and loves ministering for God and people. Having been broken in many ways, Darryl continues to learn that life and ministry are less about him and his experiences – good or bad – and more about the character and faithfulness of God.A Great resource on the subject of listening by LARRY CRABB

The post Podcast Ep.55: The Gospel and Listening (Pastor Darryl Handy) appeared first on Before You Quit.

Today we are going to talk about adoption. It has amazed me to observe through the years how often I’ve seen pastors adopt children. Today I have the privilege of interviewing two young pastors and their wives about their experience with adoption. You will find that the journey for them was hard, real, and full of adventure. We hope through this podcast that you would not only consider adoption and fostering but also that you would encourage you church to be proactive in this arena as one of the greatest ways to serve the community.

” Due to sin, we were all born as spiritual orphans. The only person ever born who was not a spiritual orphan was Jesus. God believed in our adoption so much that he sent that same Jesus, his Son, to die on a cross for our sins so that our adoption would be possible. We are adopted, or placed as a son or daughter, when we receive the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. Understanding our own adoption through Christ helps us realize that the adoption of orphaned children on this earth is a response to God’s adoption of us.” -Micah Meurer

CLICK HERE FOR FULL ARTICLE

The post Podcast Ep.54: The Pastor and Adoption (Mosser and Santor) appeared first on Before You Quit.

It’s been some time now that I have wanted to tell our story, in particular my wife, Elaine’s story. Twenty years ago our family faced a trial that I know was survivable only because of the help of our Lord Jesus. As we were wrapping up a season of ministry in England, Elaine fell into an unexplainable coma. It turned out she was the victim of an undetected brain tumor.Following surgery, and once she was physically recovered, Elaine faced the harder pain of recovering her speech along with other cognitive abilities. I can only imagine how hard it was for her to begin this process and two weeks later face the hard news that her precious oldest son, Travis, was also diagnosed with brain cancer. Her season of personal recovery had to now make room for the pain of losing her first born child.

This podcast is her story, not mine. Last summer Elaine had the opportunity to tell her story to a group of women in Wisconsin. It’s a raw, powerful story mixed with grace and sheer grit. What a remarkable woman!

I hope you will be encouraged by this. If you are particularly encouraged by this and want to send a message to Elaine, please email us at [email protected]

At the beginning of the podcast, I read an except from our book SURVIVING THE FIRES OF SORROW. You can order the book by clicking on the imagine below.

.

The post Podcast Ep.53: Grace and Grit. (The story of Elaine, my wife.) appeared first on Before You Quit.

I have always been moved by the story of William Wilberforce the parliamentary figure who fought his whole career as a politician and Christian to see the abolition of slavery in the British Empire in the early 1880s. Amazingly, just three days after hearing that he passage of the act had been assured, he died; his singular longing and prayer answered. He was a man who longed to see one thing before his death, the end of slavery.I have a similar prayer about abortion. Nearly everyday I pray that in my lifetime I would see the end of abortion. I know so many are fighting for this and especially those on the ground who offer young women and men an alternative, but also offer the love of Jesus. I had the privilege recently to sit down with two women who are fighting not just against abortion, but more importantly fighting for life. Their names are Jenny Golding and Becky Langston and both work at the Smokey Mountain Pregnancy Center in Franklin  and Cullowhee, NC right on the edge of Western Carolina University.

My name is Beckie Langston. I am a follower of Christ, the wife of a precious Christian man and pastor, Aaron Langson, and mother to Chloe who is 19, and Tyler who is 20. I try to prioritize life in that order. God opened the door for me here at Smoky Mountain Pregnancy Care Center a little over 1year and a half ago. I am honored and truly enjoy serving as their Community Outreach Director. I’ve been involved in ministry all my life. My father has been a pastor since I was 3 years old and he and my mother’s ministry continues to play a huge role in the woman I am today. My husband and I have served in bi-vocational ministry since 2014. He and I are currently in the beginning stages of planting a church that is on track to launch in March, 2020! #ThePeaksChurch

The post Podcast Ep.52: Speaking for the Unborn – A hard conversation about abortion. (Jenny Golding and Beckie Langtson) appeared first on Before You Quit.

Today’s topic will be raw and very real. The title was given to me by the person I am interviewing, Todd Adams. The power of the gospel that transforms lives in tragedy. This is the story, the testimony of a man who’s trust in Christ has been deepened by the hardships of serving Jesus in the most remote part of the world, but also more deeply in a time of personal loss. Todd Adams and his wife Debbie have been international workers for over twenty years with the Christian and  missionary Alliance in Africa and in Indonesia. They have four children. Their second, Emily, died tragically in a car accident last October at the age of 21.

Natalie, Sully, Emily, Beau, Debbie, Jordan, Todd

The post Podcast Ep.51: Transforming Power of the Gospel in Tragedy (Todd Adams) appeared first on Before You Quit.

 For years as a pastor and even since, I have loved counseling because I love to see people change. I love fighting for marriages. I do everything I can to keep couples from divorcing. I rejoice when couples who’ve been fighting and angry at each other now embracing with a new love. I absolutely love it when I witness someone struggling with depression or addiction find the courage to fight through their struggles While I do have training in counseling, I am also convinced that the church can do more to help its own than what we often see.

The easy thing is to defer to the professional and while that is often needed, the best healing happens in community. In this podcast you’re going to hear two counselors talking about the importance of pastors and those committed to the church strengthen their counseling muscles. We really believe you can counsel too. It was so fun sitting down with Dr. Harold Rhodes to talk about all this. Dr. Rhodes serves as a counseling phschologist in Martin GA. He has his PhD in Counseling Pschology from Ball State and his MA in Biblical Counseling from Regent Universty. He is a also a man who loves pastors and loves the church

The post Podcast Ep.50: You Can Counsel Too! (Dr. Harold Rhoades) appeared first on Before You Quit.

It strikes me sometimes, that the generation that we now call, Gen Z will be making decisions for people in my generation in the future. Having a granddaughter who is in the next generation makes me extremely motivated to understand all the generations that follow me. The church has a tremendous privilege and responsibility to follow this generation Z and understand their grasp of the gospel, of us and of the world we live in. It was a privilege for me to talk to Dan Boal who has given his life to youth ministry. Dan is the director of youth for the Christian and Missionary Alliance.

Dan seeks to remain personally connected to Jesus and to purposefully mobilize people to fulfill Acts 1:8. He thrives when helping leaders reach the next generation with the gospel. He believes that good youth workers are GREAT missiologist. They know the culture and understand how Jesus can transform it through them to His desire. 

Check out the article on the GEN Z by Josh McDowell Ministries here. 

The post Podcast Ep.49: The Gospel and GEN Z (Dan Boal, Director of Youth – The C&MA) appeared first on Before You Quit.

• Pastor John Fogal
• CLICK HERE TO ORDER

CLICK HERE OR ON THE BOOK COVER ON RIGHT TO ORDER BOOK

This will be a first for this podcast. But it will fit the vision of bringing courage and perspective when serving gets hard. I have the privilege today to discuss a portion of the Bible called the Beatitudes with an author who wrote a book about it. His name is Pastor John Fogal, and his book is called Living the Beatitudes. I loved this conversation we have together because we both agree that the Beatitudes offers us, offers the church a beautiful template for discipleship. John Fogal is a retired pastor with the CMA who also served as a district superintendent for 18 years. But he is really not retired as he spends a lot of his time writing and coaching other pastors. As you listen to this I know you will feel as though you are joining two men having coffee together discussing the Bible. Oh, and again this is a first and something I will problaby not do again, but it turned out the week I interviewed John for this podcast I also happened to complete a two week mini sermon series on the Beatitudes at Grace Presybererian Church in Franklin NC. 

The post Podcast Ep.48: Pastor, Let’s Talk Beatitudes (Pastor John Fogal) appeared first on Before You Quit.

Let me start with an analogy that will help lead us into this conversation about disorientation in ministry. As a a pilot, one of the things I had to learn early on in my training was how to recover from a situation in flying called Spatial Disorientation, define as the inability of a person to correctly determine his/her body position in space.

The post Podcast Ep.47: Learning Resilience in Ministry (Phil Howard and Jeff Gangel) appeared first on Before You Quit.