FOMO = fear of missing out
FOMO - coined in 2004. In 2013, British psychologists defined it as “pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent”
Examples - you say yes to drinks on a Friday night despite being shattered, low on money with a busy Saturday because you don’t want to miss out on the fun times your friends will have.
Two processes:
1. The perception of missing out…
2. Followed by a compulsive behaviour to maintain these social connections.
Why look at it from a behaviour analytic perspective?
- ABA is pigeon holed into being only an ‘autism therapy’ - we want to break that mold
- By understanding the underpinnings to a behaviour, you can change it
- FOMO might be causing a range of negative consequences for individuals - anxiety, lack of personal time, spending too much, etc
FOMO isn’t simply a behaviour as such but a thought process and then subsequent behaviours.
So thinking about the thought process…
Acceptance and commitment therapy is based on the thought that as humans we suffer BECAUSE we have language. Animals don’t necessarily have the complex language that we have where we can think with language about the past or future and that we become fused with that language. It supposes that human language and cognition is often the foundation for negative thoughts and emotions (such as self-criticism, obsession, deception, prejudice, and fear).
What might some of the thought processes or the ‘internal language’ be?
- I’ll miss all the fun times!
- I won’t be a part of the group
- Something extraordinary will happen and I’ll miss it
- People might talk badly about me behind my back if I’m not there
- If I don’t go this time, I might not be invited the next time
What might the subsequent behaviours be?
- Going out even when tired, with not much money, when it’s cold, when you’re already over-socialised
- Drinking when you maybe didn’t want to
- Eating restaurant food when perhaps you didn’t want to (food already bought/prepped, health goals, money worries)
- Feeling tired and under-rested the next day
but also…
- ‘Knowing’ you didn’t miss out
- You might not have experienced the perceived potential wonderful experiences but you didn’t miss anything.
By giving into FOMO, your behaviour will be reinforced - with negative reinforcement of those worrying thoughts.
If you don’t go out, you may:
- See photos on social media that paint a glossier picture of what really happened
- You may actually miss an unusual event - you’ll be intermittently punished for not going out!
- Not be present in your evening in alone and so not enjoy everything on offer because you’re so worried about what you’re missing
What about private verbal rehearsal?
- How often do you recall the ‘good times’ with friends?
- How often do we tact (label) the good times we had by ourselves?
- How often do we reflect on our interpersonal relationships by considering the times we spend together?
- How often do we reflect on our intrapersonal relationships (the relationship we have with ourselves / how much we like and care for ourselves) by considering the times we spend alone?
What about our culture?
- I’ll sleep when I’m dead
- Live every day like it’s your last
- Live, laugh, love
- Keep calm and carry on
- WHY? Fewer industries make money by you putting your PJs on and having a bath.
How about we make others:
- Rest, relax and recuperate
- I’ll be older on my deathbed if I practice proper self care
- My mental health is more important than how many bars I visit this week.
- You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Advice for listeners:
- Do check in with yourself - what do you really want?
- What does your mental health and body really ne
