Behind the Paddle

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What if everything you've been taught about being "normal" is actually rooted in systems of oppression? Welcome to a thought-provoking journey through the hidden forces that shape our understanding of executive functioning and neurodivergence.

Diving into Ellie Middleton's "How to Be You," we explore how capitalism has trained us to equate our worth with productivity and independence. When profit becomes more important than people, our natural variations in planning, focus, and organization are reframed as personal failings rather than simply different ways of processing the world. We unpack how government cuts to support services have made it even harder for neurodivergent people to access the accommodations they need.

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In this episode, I dive into one of the questions I hear all the time: what’s the difference between a kink and a fetish? These two words get thrown around a lot, but they aren’t the same thing and understanding the difference can change how we see ourselves and our sex lives.

I share my own experience as someone who needs BDSM in my life to feel whole and authentic, but who can still enjoy and orgasm through vanilla sex. For me, kink is the language of my desire not always required for climax, but absolutely essential for fulfillment.

We’ll also look at how fetish has been understood historically, why it was once pathologized, and how modern sex-positive approaches view it today. Along the way, I’ll reflect on how kink expands pleasure, how fetish sometimes replaces it, and why neither is something to be ashamed of.

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Hello welcome to Behindthepaddle podcast, what happens when your brain constantly pulls you in opposite directions? When one part craves structure while another needs novelty, or when one side thrives on patterns while another demands constant stimulation? This fascinating tension sits at the heart of Ellie Middletons transformative book "How to Be You," which we explore in depth on this episode of Behind the Paddle Podcast.

The book presents a "pick-and-mix" approach to executive functioning strategies, acknowledging that no single method works consistently for neurodivergent brains. This feels revolutionary in a world where we're often made to feel broken for not fitting into neurotypical productivity models. As the author confesses to having drawers full of barely-used planners and abandoned productivity apps, many listeners will feel deeply seen and validated.

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Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Thank you so much for listening 💖

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Welcome to Behind the Paddle podcast. Today we are speaking about BDSM not as a hobby, not as a kink to be giggled at behind closed doors, and not as a fleeting curiosity but as a world. A world of power, of discipline, of trust. A world of deeply human longing and deeply consensual depravity. A world some of us live in every single day.

Whether you’re new to this world or have bruises that still carry stories from years past, this episode is for you.

Let’s begin with a truth: BDSM is not about violence.

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

Hello welcome to Behindthepaddle podcast, what happens when your brain constantly pulls you in opposite directions? When one part craves structure while another needs novelty, or when one side thrives on patterns while another demands constant stimulation? This fascinating tension sits at the heart of Ellie Middletons transformative book "How to Be You," which we explore in depth on this episode of Behind the Paddle Podcast.

The book presents a "pick-and-mix" approach to executive functioning strategies, acknowledging that no single method works consistently for neurodivergent brains. This feels revolutionary in a world where we're often made to feel broken for not fitting into neurotypical productivity models. As the author confesses to having drawers full of barely-used planners and abandoned productivity apps, many listeners will feel deeply seen and validated.

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Thank you so much for listening 💖

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Hello and welcome back to Behind the paddle podcast in todays episode I share my deeply personal journey into sex work, from discovering sexuality through late-night TV at 12 to performing webcam shows as a teen and entering in-person work at 17. My story highlights how lack of proper sex education and support made me vulnerable. Without guidance, I turned to virtual spaces like Second Life, where I first monetized my sexuality. 

Throughout, I experienced adults failing to protect me,police dismissing my story, club owners neglecting safety checks exposing systemic gaps. I believe open, honest conversations with children about bodies, consent, and sexuality are crucial. Creating safe spaces for questions and understanding beats silence and stigma. Only through education can we protect future generations from similar dangers.

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Join Porcelain Victoria in this episode of Behind the Paddle Podcast as she reads and discusses pages 215-221 of Revolting Prostitutes, a groundbreaking work that challenges societal views on sex work. Delve into the critical themes of agency, labor, and the intersections of identity and exploitation. In this intimate reading, Porcelain brings her unique perspective to the text, offering insights and reflections on the issues that shape the lives of sex workers worldwide. Tune in for a thought-provoking and unapologetic exploration of a world often misunderstood. 

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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In this raw and urgent episode of Behindthepaddle, host Porcelain Victoria breaks her silence after being charged under Scotland’s archaic brothel-keeping laws—laws that criminalize sex workers for simply trying to work together in safety.

Porcelain shares her personal story of the raid, the trauma of being treated like a criminal for surviving, and the systemic violence embedded in legislation that claims to “protect” while actively endangering lives. This is more than a story it’s a call to action.

We unpack what Section 11 of the Criminal Law (Consolidation) (Scotland) Act 1995 really means, how it devastates sex workers across the UK, and why the right to safety should never be a crime. With insights from the English Collective of Prostitutes and lived experience from the front lines, this episode reveals the human cost of legal hypocrisy.

This is the episode they don’t want you to hear.

This is sex work. This is survival.

This is what happens when you try to stay safe and the law makes it illegal.

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Thank you so much for listening 💖

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Join Porcelain Victoria in this episode of Behind the Paddle Podcast as she reads and discusses pages 204-215 of Revolting Prostitutes, a groundbreaking work that challenges societal views on sex work. Delve into the critical themes of agency, labor, and the intersections of identity and exploitation. In this intimate reading, Porcelain brings her unique perspective to the text, offering insights and reflections on the issues that shape the lives of sex workers worldwide. Tune in for a thought-provoking and unapologetic exploration of a world often misunderstood. 

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

Support the show

Check out our socials!

Thank you so much for listening 💖

Want to suggest a topic or simply say Hello ? Send a message here !

One knock on the door changed everything. Twenty police officers with a battering ram stood ready to break down my door – all because I, a dominatrix, had created a safe workspace with security measures and safety equipment.

Safety shouldn't be criminal. Yet here in the UK, sex workers face an impossible choice: work alone and risk violence, or work together and risk arrest. This raw, emotional episode takes you through my journey of being charged with "brothel keeping"  not for exploitation, trafficking, or harm, but simply for trying to survive in a system designed to keep us vulnerable.

I share the gut-wrenching details of my police raid, from being paraded in front of neighbors in a riot van to spending hours in a cold cell wondering if I'd ever see my child again. When a lead officer callously remarked "I guess your pockets won't be so flush" upon hearing my concerns about supporting my family, I realized this wasn't about protection – it was about punishment.

For over a year, I lived with the threat of prosecution hanging over me, unable to legally speak to witnesses, watching my professional network crumble, and struggling with PTSD. Though my charges were eventually dropped, the trauma remains, along with a criminal record that makes exiting sex work nearly impossible.

This episode isn't just my story it's a window into why decriminalization matters. We don't arrest people who use safe drug consumption rooms because we understand harm reduction saves lives. Why then do we criminalize sex workers for implementing the same safety principles?

Listen as I share what I'd planned to tell the court before my case was dismissed, and learn how organizations like the English Collective of Prostitutes provide crucial support to those criminalized for their own safety. This is about more than sex work – it's about human rights, harm reduction, and a system that criminalizes care.

Confidance & Guidance workshop 

7th November 2pm UK time

https://www.trybooking.com/uk/event/121083

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Thank you so much for listening 💖