👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We spin the troll tracker on “Funky Friday” and read savage low-star fragrance reviews that drag luxury scents for migraines, burnt sugar vibes, pickle juice leather, and loud musk. We use the chaos to land on real advice about sampling first, checking your sources, and buying scents that match your taste instead of the internet’s. 

•grown folk show rules and riding advice 
•how price and location change fragrance costs 
•a $325 luxury blind buy that turns “sickening” fast 
•why testing on skin beats influencer hype 
•Le Labo getting compared to smoke, leather, and pickle brine 
•Fenty fragrance expectations vs “musk bomb” reality 
•projection and longevity as features not flaws 
•tease of something big coming on 9-4 

Don't forget, if you haven't already, complete your crown chat homework located on Instagram, on um on Instagram, and or on the fan mail page. 
Click that support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock on air shout-outs, custom stickers, and engrave Nico Justice pens. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We welcome new listeners, lay down the grown-and-spicy ground rules, and explain why we audit petty reviews while giving local businesses the win they deserve. Then we spin the wheel across three cities and flush the funniest complaints, from melted ice cream drama to checkout silence to drive-thru “microwave” outrage. 
• listener discretion reminder and community mission to salute small and local businesses 
• why we read the reviews so you don’t have to 
• Jacksonville Blizzard complaint blamed on the laws of heat and time 
• melted ice cream as a personal preference not a scandal 
• Tribeca grocery cashier silence framed as boundaries and burnout 
• expectations of “performance” versus basic checkout service 
• Austin drive-thru cheese complaint and the reality of fast food fixes 
• closing tease about something big coming on 9 4 
Click that support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock on-air shout-outs, custom stickers, and engraved Nico Justice pens. Help us keep these mics running completely independent with no corporate bosses. Don’t forget to complete your crown chat homework located on Instagram or on the fan mail page. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We spin the troll tracker and break down viral-style reviews that punish businesses for doing normal business things. We talk about expectations, public spaces, and why some complaints say more about the reviewer than the service. 
• house rules, listener discretion, and how we read reviews line by line 
• a one-star movie theater review over loud popcorn crunching and “sonic atmosphere” 
• why a public theater is not a private screening room 
• a two-star restaurant review about a sizzling cast iron fajita platter being too loud and “dangerous” 
• what “know where you’re going before you go” looks like in real life 
• an ice skating rink complaint about freezing temps and slippery ice during hockey season 
• defending businesses from trolls while still naming what would be fair feedback 

Remember, now you can become an official monthly subscriber of the show, and just click that support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock on-air shout-outs, custom stickers, and engraved Nico Justice pens. 
And don't forget to complete your crowd uh chat homework, and that's located on Instagram. 
We have a surprise coming, and I need you to keep your eyes on nine four. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We turn gorgeous five-star reviews into a glittered-up weekend service, then send big gratitude to the staff who make those moments happen. From rooftop jazz brunch to mountain patio lattes to a cliffside sunset dinner, we map how real hospitality feels when it is done right. 
• Our “Bizarre Blessings” vibe, house rules, and why we read the reviews so you don’t have to 
• Community champion mission, giving businesses the wins they deserve, shielding the trolls 
• New Orleans rooftop deck magic, live jazz, handcrafted cocktails, praline French toast 
• Denver skyline patio, off-menu lavender vanilla latte, cinnamon dusting, barista praise 
• San Diego oceanfront cliffside sunset, complimentary honey butter biscuits, angel-level service 
Just click that support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock on-air custom shout-outs and custom stickers. 
You'll go to the fan mail link on Instagram at behind your reviews and fear warning. The funniest ones might get read live on air. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We read savage one-star luxury fragrance reviews and translate the insults into actual perfume notes, from “wet tree bark” greens to boozy cherry and smoky tobacco vanilla. Along the way, we talk sampling mistakes, perfume counter etiquette, and whether these so-called trolls are really just doing public service. 
• setting the tone for Funky Friday fragrance talk 
• pricing disclaimer and how perfume costs shift by market 
• Bond No. 9 Bleecker Street notes and the “expensive dirt” complaint 
• why layering too many sprays ruins a fragrance test 
• how to use the beans to clear your nose at the counter 
• Tom Ford Lost Cherry notes versus “cough syrup” reactions 
• reading context clues like “I bought a sample” and what that implies 
• debating whether to call them trolls, haters, or reviewers 
• Tom Ford Tobacco Vanille and the ashtray versus iconic argument 
• mixing fragrance oils to recreate the vibe at home 
Don't forget if you haven't already, complete your crown chat homework that's located on Instagram at behind your reviews or on the fan mail page. Also, you can become an official monthly supporter of the show. Just click that support show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock some on-air shout-outs, some custom stickers, and engraved Nico Justice pens.

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We keep it grown and spicy while we audit petty restaurant reviews and defend the businesses that follow their rules. I flush three complaints that boil down to entitlement, impatience, and ignoring clearly stated policies. 
• Tech hiccups and a quick welcome to new listeners 
• The Wonky Wednesdays mission of eco-justice and calling out troll reviews 
• How reservations work versus what guests “feel” they deserve 
• Review one: booking a basic table then demanding rooftop luxury seating 
• Review two: a Nashville wait time blamed on staff instead of steak reality and packed nights 
• Why appetizer choices change your perception of service speed 
• Review three: cancellation fees for large parties and the real cost of no-shows 
• The difference between a scam and an agreed policy 

Before we uh get into our first review, don't forget, and if you haven't already, you can become an official monthly supporter of the show, and we will appreciate that. Just click the support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock our on-air shout-outs, custom stickers, and engrave Nico Justice pants. Help us keep these mics running completely independent with no corporate bosses. And don't forget to complete your crown chat homework that's located on Instagram and behind your reviews or on the fan page, fan mail page. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We spin the troll tracker from Chicago to Denver to Atlanta and call out how small inconveniences turn into dramatic one-star and two-star reviews. We unpack what fair feedback looks like when you are cold in a stadium, stuck in a weekend breakfast rush, or speeding through takeout on the way to work.
• Why we keep it grown and spicy
• How the troll tracker works and why we shield trolls
• Chicago stadium concession complaint over a bread-to-meat ratio
• Expectations vs reality at big venues and high-volume counters
• Denver breakfast skillet review and what “burnt” really means
• How packed restaurants cook fast and why char is not always failure
• Atlanta express pickup substitution that backfires and who owns it
• Writing reviews that are specific, useful, and fair

Just click that support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock our on air shout-outs. Help us keep these mics running completely independent with no corporate bosses, and don't forget to complete your crown chat homework, and that's located on our fan mail page.

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We turn real five-star reviews into a dramatic Sunday-style laugh fest while giving love to the service workers who quietly save people’s days. From surprise pancakes to a birthday opera to an off-menu latte “miracle,” we celebrate the small acts that feel like big blessings. 
• framing the segment as a playful “bizarre blessings” service built around five-star reviews 
• shielding businesses from trolls and spotlighting wins in the community 
• shouting out listeners streaming worldwide and the show going global 
• a stressed traveler gets a window table and warm lemon mascarpone pancakes on the house 
• why comfort food and quick kindness can flip someone’s whole mood 
• a mom’s birthday turns into a surprise kitchen-staff opera at brunch 
• an off-menu lavender vanilla bean latte tailored for a travel migraine and the barista love it inspires 
Just click that support the show link right at the top of our show notes to unlock on-air shout-outs, custom stickers, and engraved Nico Justice pens. Help us keep these mics running completely independent with no corporate bosses.

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We spin the Master Studio Wheel and read some of the most unhinged one-star fragrance reviews on the internet, from a luxury niche perfume dragged as a seafood dumpster to a rose incense masterpiece accused of smelling like a Victorian ghost. Then we roast the idea that a famous cologne is supposed to make strangers propose marriage, and we ask you to tell us what these scents really smell like. 

• Shoutouts to listeners streaming worldwide and what it means for the community 
• Baccarat Rouge 540 one-star “wet cardboard” critique and how scent associations spiral 
• Notes talk around saffron and amberwood and why skin chemistry changes everything 
• Portrait of a Lady review comparing it to a dusty haunted closet and what that reveals about rose patchouli incense styles 
• Creed Aventus complaint about instant marriage proposals and why fragrance is not a dating superpower 
• Question to the audience to share real impressions and call out exaggerated reviews 

Leave your thoughts in the in the comments. And matter of fact, y'all, don't forget you can you can hit us up in the fan mail. Leave a leave a comment and and subscribe. Let us know your thoughts. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!

👑 This is your Crown Chat! Got thoughts on today's episode? Hit the 'Send us a Text Message' link above and tell me what's on your mind! Fair warning — the funniest ones might get read live on air!

We kick off season two with a no-filter welcome, a quick reminder that we are not kid friendly, and a big love note to the listeners taking our little corner of the internet global. Then we spin the wheel, land in Jacksonville, and flush three ridiculous one-star coffee shop reviews that confuse art, physics, and basic common sense. 
• setting expectations for an uncensored grown-folk show 
• thanking worldwide listeners and celebrating independent growth 
• reacting to a troll who compares a layered latte to pizza sauce 
• breaking down why a latte cannot stay boiling hot for a long commute 
• calling out the “too much ice” complaint after hours on the counter 
• pushing for fair Yelp and Google reviews that help small businesses 

click that support the show link right at the top of the notes to unlock our on-air shout-outs, our custom stickers and engraved Nico Justice pants. Help us keep these mics running and completely independent of these corporate bosses. 

Support the show

Want to support the show or treat me to your favorite coffee or teach me to like coffee? support me here at the link below and I will give an on air shout out!:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2626058/support

📩 BEHIND YOUR REVIEWS TESTIMONY INBOX
Have a hater review or a piece of wonky logic you want us to audit next? Slide your screenshots directly into our anonymous studio inbox at: [email protected]

📣 PREMIUM SUPERHERO SHOUTOUTS
Want to celebrate your establishment on the airwaves and broadcast your amazing work across our global network? Email us directly at [email protected] to request an official X & Neko Justice Premium Superhero Shoutout!

🐾 Keep your favorite local spots safe, keep it cute, keep it grown, family... and for the love of all things good leave better tips!!  The Baristas will appreciate you for it!!