Being in the Arena

Zach Arend welcomes you to a reflective episode of Being in the Arena, addressing the common challenge of losing momentum on New Year's resolutions or goals as the initial enthusiasm wanes. As the podcast arrives around February, he delves into why many fall back into the familiar routine and comfort zones, neglecting the aspirations set at the beginning of the year. Zach provides three crucial reflections to regain focus and maintain momentum, emphasizing the importance of resilience and persistence in achieving meaningful results. Tune in for practical insights to align your actions with your goals and aspirations.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Work with Zach
• Book Zach to Speak

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
  
  

Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!

TRANSCRIPT BELOW:

Because life happens in the saddle. And the better you can get at just getting back on the horse without all the drama and all the beating yourself up, the faster you're going to achieve your goals this year. 

Zach Arend: Welcome to Being in the Arena. A podcast all about putting you back into the Arena of your life and your leadership. 

Today I want to talk about where our new year's resolutions lose traction or our goals or our visions for our businesses, you know, because you turn the corner into the new year and there's all this talk about new year's resolutions. 

What are your goals? And workshops on setting goals and having the best year ever. And I'm kind of glad that I am sharing this now, 30 days into the new year. By the time you listen to this, it's probably February. And so this is about the time where we forget that there was a new year and we're kind of back to the same old song and dance of, you know, "I'm pretty busy, pretty overwhelmed. Oh my God. Things are crazy."

And we almost forget that we started the year with these grand intentions to have a great year, you know, and we've, we've kind of just fallen back into the status quo and our comfort zone and the way things have always been, you know? And a powerful question is, " is this year going to look differently than last year?"

Is it really? And being 30 days into the year, you have enough evidence now to kind of start to play with, to see " well, where has my time, energy and attention been?" Because that's ultimately how you create the results in your life. Is your time, your energy, your attention congruent with what you say you want most? And so today I want to talk to you about how to maintain that momentum that we always start the year with. Because this year is different. This year we're not going to lose focus. We're not going to fall back into how things have always been. 

We're going to stay true to what we said we want most this year. And here's how we're going to do that. I wrote down three things and these are three things I'm reflecting on personally, because look this 30 days in the new year, and I'm already noticing how, you know, I'm off track. I'm not consistently aligned with what I say I want. 

And now it was the time to clean that up. For me and for you. Because if we don't clean it up, the entire year will have gone by. And then we'll look back and be like, well, I guess I didn't get that done, you know? And no, not this year. So three things, three things that I'm reminding myself of that I think will also support you. 

Number one is knowing and keeping what's primary. Knowing what is primary and keeping what is primary. What do I mean by that? So, I am taking a different approach. Because what's normal is for people to sit down in the new year and they do their goal planning. And there's nothing wrong with this if you do it, if it works for you. If it works for you. It's never worked well for me. And I would write out my goals for my family and my faith and my health and my business and my passions and my hobbies. 

And my it's oh my God. And I'd end up with eight pages. And then it's " okay, yeah. Now I'm going to, I need to read these goals every morning. I need to..." And it was just like, this is a lot of work. Just like remembering what my goals even are. Frankly, that doesn't work for me. I want to take 'less is more' to the extreme this year. 

And what if you were to do that? And maybe this is an opportunity to clean some stuff up. Maybe you're you're noticing like, "yeah, I totally started the year with 10 too many goals. And yeah, I think I would benefit from 'less is more' to the extreme." 'Less is more' to the extreme. I am wanting to make one thing primary this year. 

And I shared with my group, I'm in a coaching group, a group coaching cohort. And I shared with them that what I would love to create this year is a thriving coaching and speaking business while creating more time and energy for, for my girls and being with them on their dreams and their pursuits of their goals and just being there for them, for my wife, being there for them, like it's a both and. And it's primary. Thriving coaching and speaking business and being the best dad and husband, I can be. And, you know, I have some, some objective measures of that. And yet that's it. 

That's primary. And it's one thing I can look at on a given day and be like, "well, am I doing that? Am I doing that? Is that been primary today?" And if not, I have an opportunity to, to right the ship, you know? And so, knowing what's primary. And that's one thing, knowing what's primary. Do you? Can you get it down to like a sentence or two and then make that a place to come from, day in, day out?

It's not a place to get to. It's a place to be. And the second reflection around that is " okay, looking back over the last 30 days, has where I've been spending my time, energy, attention, is it consistent with what I say is primary?" Because now's the time to clean it up if not. And that's number one. 

It's just getting honest with yourself. And then staying true to what is primary. 

Number two is. Something that I have found that's really supported me and many of my clients have said the same thing. And it's having some sort of a morning ritual morning routine. Self cultivation practice. I made the decision, my wife and I to buy a new home and move into a new home right before Christmas. 

And so, with all of that's been going on, I have just allowed myself to get a little outside of my routine and my mornings I've been going to bed later and I've been getting up, you know, later, naturally. And I've just kind of been getting into work and I'm seeing there's a lot of opportunity to slow down in my morning time. Because I used to, I did that a lot last year and it's always supported me. 

And so, what about you? Do you have a morning, which ritual something that centers you back in and get you back in touch with what's primary in your life? Are you checking in with who you are being and deciding, kind of looking at, is that who you want to be? And having a routine to do that, you know, for me, it's journaling and it's, I have a, uh, a series of declarations that are read out loud about who I am that really guide who I be on a given day and who I'm being ultimately determines how I show up and what I do. 

And so this morning routine is really powerful. Do you have one? Are you, are you doing something to center yourself and check in with yourself? On a daily or at least weekly basis? What is your routine and your rituals for doing that? So that's the second thing. Like, if you want to maintain traction this year, get clear on what your routine is, what are some things you're going to be doing for yourself to keep yourself at your best? 

Because I promise you. Doing doing, doing, doing, doing a bunch of work and trying to keep up with your to-do's and your inbox, that's going to leave you exhausted and burnt out and you're probably already there. And so this is you carving out time to work on yourself, on your business, on your life. 

Just checking in and recentering before you dive into your day. And I think it is important that it's done in the morning. And look, we all have a morning. I don't care if you're not a morning person, you still get up at some point and therefore that's your morning. How are you starting your day? Are you starting it on purpose because here's, what's not on purpose. 

Uh, I I fallen to the trap from time to time where I wake up. I reached for my phone, I check my email and then for some reason, somehow I accidentally ended up on Instagram. And before I know it, I'm scrolling through reels. 15, 20 minutes goes by. That's not a morning ritual. 

I don't know that, that morning is running you. And that's not what we want. So the key here is, are you doing it on purpose? And this is you starting your day on purpose. Give yourself that gift. Start your day on purpose. Start with some sort of routine or ritual that is carved out for you. What might that be? Okay. 

Number three, and this one's the most critical. Okay. Maybe you're starting to realize "uh-oh, yup, 30 days into the year and I'm, yep, I've already fallen back into my old way of being and if I'm being honest with myself this year, you know, I hope it looks different, but I can't really say that it's going to look any different than any prior year." Okay. Well, it's time to get back on the horse. 

Simply put. Get back on the horse. You know, I rode rodeos, I rode saddle broncs growing up and, you know, you better believe I hit the ground a lot. A lot. For two years straight, I just hit the ground. That's all I did. I got back on the horse and that's how I ended up being two time state champion. And it's just a principle of life. 

You keep getting back on the horse, you're going to get there.

 So get back on the horse. Now, the way in which you get back on the horse is so important because there were times where I get bucked off and I'd get on my feet. And I reached down and I grabbed a big pile of dirt and I'd chuck it across the rain and I'd be pissed. And, you know, I'd be saying things to myself. 

" God, I suck," you know, "I keep hitting the ground. When am I ever going to figure this out?" Like I just... and a lot of you are doing that too. Me too. We do that to ourselves. We beat ourselves up, we hit the ground and then we beat ourselves up. We hit the ground over and over again, like, we make it worse. And so when I say "get back on the horse," I'm not beating you over the head with that statement, " get back on the horse!" 

Zach Arend: No, like it ain't bad, just is. Get back on the horse. Just get back on the horse. What's the opportunity here? How can I learn and grow from this? And then get back on the horse. None of this over evaluating and beating yourself up. That's not making this journey very enjoyable. 

Just get back on the horse because when you're on the horse, it's always enjoyable. It's always exciting. We don't like being on the ground so get off the ground, get on the horse. And if you want to go deeper into this one, I recorded a podcast episode several months ago, episode 63. I've gotten a lot of feedback from it. We talk about this distinction of you being on the horse, in the saddle or on the ground. And this distinction is a powerful self-awareness tool for you to reflect at any given moment. 

"Well, where am I right now?" And it gives you that opportunity to choose "is that where I want to be?" 

Because life happens in the saddle. And the better you can get at just getting back on the horse without all the drama and all the beating yourself up, the faster you're going to achieve your goals this year. 

So, are you able to just get back on the horse? 

What does getting back on the horse look like for you? And I think start at the top of what's primary. What is it? What's the one thing that would make all the difference this year? Are you acting consistently, investing your time, energy, and attention on that on a consistent basis? Do you have time every day or at least every week where you're working on yourself and on your business, you're pulling yourself out of the minutia and the day-to-day busy-ness and you're checking in? And are you just getting back on the horse? 

Are you willing to do that without all the storytelling and drama? So I hope these three things serve you to support you this year. These are simple, but sometimes simplicity is where it's at. Let's keep it simple this year and let's just keep getting back on the horse and stay true to what we're here to do. And if you'd like some support with that. Join me in February. You can go to www.zacharend.com/workshop to get all the details for my next Leading in the Arena session. 

It's a free session. Two hours we're together. I'll offer it virtually and in-person. If you'd like some support on truly looking and getting clear on what's getting in the way of you having the best year ever, what's getting in the way, what's taking off course, what keeps happening to you? 

Why are things the way they are? If you're curious as to how you might be creating that and how you could get free of it, then join me in Leading in the Arena, because that is a time carved out for you to really understand why things are the way they are, and to start to make some major shifts towards true transformation in who you're being, 

because that's where it's at. 

If you can transform who you're being, the results take care of themselves. Because who you're being determines how you show up. Who you're being decides on the action you take or don't take. And when you can get clear on who you're being and start to cultivate that in the Arena of your life, things can change very quickly. 

So if that's interesting to you, if you'd like to do that, if you'd like to increase your influence and your impact on others this year and on yourself and your ability to achieve on your goals and your vision, then join me. We'll be hosting another event here in February. So, go to the website, www.zacharend.com/workshop. 

Get all the details. That's www dot Z A C H A R E N D dot com, forward slash workshop. Hope to see you in the Arena.

In episode 73 of Being in the Arena, Zach Arend addresses a common concern—how to feel like you're doing enough in all aspects of life. He tackles this question by challenging the notion of "doing enough" and emphasizes the importance of focusing on feelings of peace, fulfillment, and completeness. Zach shares insights gained from personal experiences, coaching interactions, and invites listeners to shift their perspective from the relentless pursuit of doing enough to embracing a sense of peace and contentment in the present moment. Offering practical advice, he encourages a shift in mindset and highlights the power of choosing peace over the constant striving for accomplishment. Tune in for a transformative exploration into finding balance and contentment in your journey. For more from Zach, visit www.zacharend.com and discover a new perspective on leadership and life.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Work with Zach
• Book Zach to Speak

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
  
  

Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!

TRANSCRIPT BELOW:

You just have to be taking action on it on a consistent basis. Because what we're actually after isn't the outcome or the result we just need to feel a sense of progress.

Zach Arend: Welcome to Being in the Arena, a podcast for leaders and entrepreneurs. Those who desire to be in the arena of their life and their leadership. Who want to increase their influence and impact and how they show up for those around them in their lives. That's what we're here to talk about today. And today I want to answer a question from one of my readers of the 8-Second Daily Coach. 

It's an, it's a daily question that I send my community. If you want to join that email list, just go to www.zacharend.com/dailyquestion. It's just a short email where I share a question to help you reflect and inquire within on how you can show up more powerfully in any given day so that you can create the results that you want to see in your life and your business. 

Well, in this instance, I asked, I reversed it and I asked my community a question. And that was "what questions do you have for me? I'll answer them personally." And today I want to answer one of those questions. One of my readers asked me "how can I feel I'm doing enough in all aspects of my life? How can I feel I'm doing enough in all aspects of my life?" And when I read this question, 

I'm going to be honest initially, I was like, I'm not so sure I'm the best one to answer this question. Because I'm all too familiar with the feeling of not doing enough in all aspects of my life. You know, and right now what's coming to my mind is the myth of work-life balance, right? You know, and we've heard all this. Like, this is nothing new. You go on LinkedIn, you know, listen to any self-help person. 

They're going to talk about work-life balance and how you know, that's not right. Work-life balance is a myth. And I think they're right. You know, it is a myth like to be in perfect balance in everything in your life is like, wow, that sounds exhausting. I liked the idea of work-life harmony. Or better yet just seeing work, life, family, all of it as a dance, it's just a dance. 

And sometimes we're over here. Sometimes we're over here. You know, and it's a dance. But I want to go deeper into that today because I think it's a real question. It's a, it's an important question because. It's a nagging feeling constantly. I mean, do you ever experience like this nagging feeling of. Am I doing enough? 

I don't feel like I'm doing enough. I'm not doing enough. I'm never doing enough. I mean, if you're in the room with me and you were raising your hand right now, I mean, what would you be one of the people raising their hand? I'm already visualizing us all, raising our hand really high. Of course. Yeah. 

So, first of all, this is a normal feeling. You all, like not doing enough. It's a normal feeling. It's a normal story that we tell ourselves, and you know what? In many ways it serves us. If you look back on your life, that constant nagging feeling of not doing enough has gotten you to do a lot in your life. I mean, you get a lot done. You do a lot. Most people would say " what do you mean? You're so productive."

I mean, "If only I could do half of what you do." Right. But it's not about what other people think it's about your experience and what I think the question really is asking. "How can I feel that I'm doing enough?" 

Is. 

" I don't like that feeling. I don't like feeling like I'm not doing enough. How do I get rid of that feeling of not doing enough?" So to two ways of looking at that, maybe, but what I want to do now is, I wrote down five things because I don't know, I was like "let's make this episode a little more practical." Sometimes my wife says I can be a little bit meta and I'm like, "yeah, I know."

And I think it's important to be able to look at things through that lens because when you can see things through a different lens, you can start to show up differently. That's a different episode. 

I want to give you some practical things. Can I do that? Five things. So the question is " how can I feel like I'm doing enough in all aspects of my life?" Well, I'm going to actually attempt to do the impossible here. And maybe create more of these feelings that you're after. The first thing is when I'm working with somebody one-on-one or in one of my groups or events, you know, I get questions like this. 

"How do I know I'm doing enough?" Or "how do I, how can I feel I'm doing enough?" And 

I always love to ask, like, well, what, how would you know, what would indicate that you are indeed doing enough? What would indicate that you are indeed doing enough? How would, you know? 

And inevitably I look across the table or a zoom screen, and I see kind of this blank look on, on, on your face. " That's a good question. I don't know." It's because there's no answer to that question. You cannot ever know that you're doing enough. So first and foremost, let's just be like, "Maybe the question isn't useful."

Am I doing enough? Maybe the whole objective and the whole goal isn't useful. Notice, I'm not saying it's bad or it's wrong. It's just not useful. How useful is it to even ask the question? But we do, but I just want to just highlight like the insanity of the question in the first place. 

Now, if you're the one that asks this, I'm not saying that you are insane. I'm saying the question is insane. Right? Th the intention is insane. It's impossible. Because if you can't know when you truly indeed have done enough... and I'm not so sure we want that. I mean, I think we do, but I don't know what if it's kind of cool knowing there's always more to do, like there's always another mountain to climb? And you know what? 

I'm always at the bottom of a mountain. That's what growth feels like to always feel like you have more to do than you have time. Like it's just normal. So the first one is, maybe it's a little meta. Okay. I'm hearing my wife in my ear like "that's still a little meta." But how would you know? 

And if you can't know, then maybe the question and the whole goal isn't useful in the first place. But let's go deeper because it's still there. Right. I mean, it's like, "okay. Yeah. Intellectually. That makes sense. But still, I still feel this nagging feeling that I'm not doing enough." Okay, here's another question. If you were doing enough. If you were doing enough. If you were to know that you were doing enough and you can look at your calendar, you can look at your to-do list, your inbox, all the things that would indicate that you are indeed doing enough, you did enough that day or you did enough that quarter or that year, what would be different for you? 

What would that look and feel like? To know that you did enough, that you are doing enough? What feeling, what would that do for you to internally know that "yes, I am doing enough. I am enough. I'm doing enough." What would that feel like? I'm going to answer for myself as I don't know what it would feel like for you, but, because I'm, raising my hand. 

This question nags at me too. And so I'm just sharing personally well, how would I feel if I knew I was, I did enough today? And the word 'peace' comes to mind. Words like 'peace,' 'fulfillment,' 'complete.' 

Yeah, those are three words. 'peace,' 'fulfillment,' 'completeness.' That's, I think, what we're really after. Right. Because if I were to do enough, I could feel like I could relax. I could feel at peace. I could feel happy. I could feel confident. All of those feelings that we're actually chasing. So what if it's not actually about doing enough, it's about feeling peaceful, it's about feeling fulfillment and complete and relaxed and happy and confident? The feel good emotions. We want to feel like we can just take a breath and be okay knowing that we did enough. Are you following with me? What if we're not actually after doing enough, we're actually after peace? Okay. 

And so one of the questions my coach asked me one time and it just hit me. It's like, "damn. When you put it that way." He said. "What's more important, doing enough or having peace?" What's more important, knowing you did enough or having fulfillment, being at peace? 

Because when you put it that way, it's like, "you know, honestly, peace is more important than doing enough." And what's so amazing is you can choose to come from a place of peace right now knowing that, "you know what? I'm done running on this hamster wheel of doing enough. I choose peace now. I choose fulfillment now. I choose to be happy now."

Because you can. And that's one of the number, one things my clients uncover as we're working together in one of my events. Like little just this past week I completed one of my Leading in the Arena. It's a free workshop I do both virtually and in person, and we really talked about being and how making it a place to come from, not a place to get to because when you make it a place to come from peace, you can choose that right now. And so that actually moves us right into number three. 

So number one, you know, just the insanity of the question. Like how could you actually know that you're doing enough? And the, if you don't have an answer really deep down, you really can't know. And I think even deeper down you'll know like, well, it never is enough. It never will be enough. There's always something else. And then that leads us into number two is "okay, well then what is the feeling I'm actually after? 

What do I believe that doing enough will get me?" 'Peace.' "Oh, Well, what's more important, peace or doing enough?" "Well, peace." And now we're going to make peace a place to come from. And so number three is learning to shift your focus from doing to being. From doing to being. 

Because what would be different if you were the embodiment of peace, of fulfillment, of confidence, of happiness, and you were being that? That is who you are at your core. What if you were to believe that and see that? Now, coming from that place of peace, letting the doing flow from peace, letting the doing flow from confidence. 

You see, we don't have to do enough in order to feel peace or feel confidence. We can choose that now, but that's only going to come from who we're being. And that's a powerful shift, a powerful distinction, shifting from doing to being. Because when you can realize that you get to choose that now. Think about your values, you know. For me, one of my values is growth. Another value is peace, and if I let them those two can be at conflict a lot. But if I can embody both of them, I'm coming from a place of growth and peace, always. 

And one of my mantras that I write a lot is "From peace, I create everything." Because 

it's so true. When I am coming from a place of peace, this is when I'm the most likely to create. This is when I am the most productive. This is when I am the most intuitive and thoughtful and the instincts are alive and I'm able to be present and really, truly create. 

So "from peace, I create everything." 

And so now I'm making peace primary in my life 'cause before I had the doing as primary in peace as secondary. What if we make peace as primary? Make the being of peace primary. So that's number three. Shifting from a doing state to a being state. And coming from a place of the feeling and the emotions that you truly desire to have. Number four is, you know, this feeling of "I'm not doing enough, I don't feel like I'm doing enough," it leads to us feeling overwhelmed and burnt out. 

Right. I mean that, one's another one. We've talked a lot about that. Not only on this podcast, but I think we're all aware of the burnout rate. I think there's a stat out there that says eight out of 10 people say they feel burnt out by their work. 

Eight out of 10 people. That's absolutely crazy. Like eight out of 10 people choose to be burnt out. And then, I know that's pretty blunt, like that maybe feels unfair. I say the same things to myself. I'm like, "well, if I'm saying I'm burnt out, I'm overwhelmed, I'm choosing that. How am I creating this?" And burnout? No. The more I lean into this for my own life and my clients and you know, the second we start exploring this, what we often find out is we're not burnt out, we're bored. We're not burburnt out,e're bored. 

And I recently came across some research Adam Grant's doing or some research he was sharing. I don't know if it was exactly his research, but he said that psychology has a term for this. He says it's "bore out." Psychology literally has a term for this. And he it's called "bore out."

So we're not burnout. We're bored out. Because deep down, you know, it's not because we're overwhelmed over obligated and got too much to do. That's not it. It's just simply flat out. We're not doing what deep down we know we can do. We know that we desire to do, because I don't know about you, but this has been my experience. I always have a long to-do list. And yet, there's usually one thing that's on there and it's often at the bottom of the list, or it's not even on the list because I'm afraid to put it on the list. 

It's that one thing that if I were to do it, Everything else just doesn't matter anymore. I feel complete. I feel at peace because I know that I'm being the person I desire to be in therefore doing the actions that are congruent with who I desire to be. I'm serious. If you're a writer or maybe you want to be a writer or maybe you want to start a business or just start exploring entrepreneurship. And yet, if you don't do it, if you don't even take any action on it. 

Like my question for you is "what are you doing about it?" You know, like if you want to start a nonprofit, if you want to give back or take on a hobby or a new passion. Well, as long as you tell people that "and I want to do, I mean, I just don't have time to do it. It's just so busy." You know, I just don't buy that story. 

Stop enrolling yourself in that story. It's just a story. Again, what if you were to make the thing that you desire most primary? Like just flat out it's primary. Everything else is going to have to fit in around it. I promise you. Burnout will no longer be a thing. It just will go away. You're not burnt out. 

You're bored out because you're not doing the one thing that you truly feel called to do. You're not doing what your heart is desiring to do because the moment you do... and you don't have to like do it full out, like finished, done. 

You just have to be taking action on it on a consistent basis. Because what we're actually after isn't the outcome or the result we just need to feel a sense of progress.

 Look, and I don't know if that's true for you, but I don't even know if it's true. 

It's useful. I find it useful. I find it true for me that when I feel like I'm in pursuit of something and I'm feeling a sense of progress, there's peace. And that only comes from taking action on the things that you desire most in your life. Are you doing that? 

And it usually come from not doing more, but doing less. My mentor says it's not about what you need to do, it's about what you're not going to do again. And he has us build a, Never Do Again list. Like "what are you going to stop doing to make room for what you ultimately desire to do?'

So that's number four. We think we're burned out, but we're actually bored out because we're not doing deep down what we know we desire to do and can do what our potential is. 

And number five, this is the, actually the culprit behind it all. In my Leading in the Arena event, we start to pull back the curtain on how this really influences who we be on a day-to-day basis and who you are determines what you do and how you do it. Because everything comes from a place of who you're being. The doing always flows from that place. And so if you're being overwhelmed or being that you're not doing enough, then who what do you tend to do when you're being that. This is what I do. 

I'm very unproductive. I go looking for distractions. I don't do anything productive when I'm being overwhelmed. So, but what's behind this, like what is driving this? What in, what is telling us that we're not doing enough in the first place? This is, Steven Pressfield calls it resistance. That voice of resistance. It's your ego. Your ego, that inner critic, that inner voice that's constantly nagging at you constantly telling you that you're not doing enough. Are you familiar with that part of you that's constantly like "how did I do today? I didn't get done, what I wanted to get done. I'm. That today was not productive. I didn't do enough. I need, I'm not, I got too much to do and I don't have enough time."

That whole audio track that runs in your mind, you are not that story. That is a story that's probably been there for many years, for probably as long as you can remember in some shape or form. And it's there because in some place, some time in your life, it's served, you. Because you knew that if I could show that I'm doing enough and then I'm busy and I'm productive, then I'm okay. And this is your ego's job. 

This is the voice of resistance's job, is to just simply keep you safe. Keep you safe and therefore keep you small. Keep you much smaller than you know yourself to be. That's your ego's job. And so, we go through this exercise, it's one of the most powerful, it's one of my favorite things to do in groups of people. 

And we did this again at my second Leading in the Arena event just this past week. And what people realize like, "oh my gosh," there is this deep seated fear of who I think I might be. That I'm so afraid of that actually is running my life. And so, and that is your ego. But it's oftentimes very unique to you. And when you can uncover that and start to look at that clearly and see it for what it is. 

You'll recognize some of these stories around not doing enough or experienced enough or knowing enough all of that is coming from a place of safety, of fear, of ego, of resistance. And what if you could learn to acknowledge it and recognize it, but no longer allow it to drive and run your life? Who would you be without that voice? 

Who would you be without that ego and that resistance? I believe you would be free from the question of, "am I doing enough?" So those are the five points that I want to bring to the table around this feeling of "how can I know, how can I feel that I'm doing enough in all aspects of my life?" I want to thank the reader that shared that question because, I'll be honest,

I didn't want to answer it. I think I put it off a little bit because I'm like this one. I wrestled with this one and on literally these five points I'm giving them to myself as much as I am to you. I'm using these as reminders for myself. And so what are you taking away from this episode? 

I'd love to hear from you. I'm on Instagram at zach.arend, LinkedIn at Zach Arend, Z A C H, A R E N D. Or you can subscribe to the 8-Second Daily Coach and get these questions that I'm asking. Get a daily question from me, short, sweet, several sentences, just, you know, giving you things to really ponder and think about as you start each morning. So that you can show up more powerfully, more clear, and with more conviction on what you're here to do and the impact you desire to make. And if you want that go to www.zacharend.com/dailyquestion. 

So as always, I really value your time and listening, and your commitment to yourself, to growth and to Being in the Arena with me, because not everybody's willing to Be in the Arena. Most people want to sit in the grand stands and watch other people Be in the Arena and that's not us. We choose to Be in the Arena day in, day out. 

Thanks for listening. And I'll see in the next episode.

Zach Arend dives deep into the intriguing world of stress and leadership. He invites listeners to join him at "Leading in the Arena" on January 10th, an event crafted for those who aspire to elevate their influence and impact in business and life. Zach challenges you to ponder a critical question: "Who are you under stress?" Unpacking this, he shares personal stories, revealing how stress can skew our perceptions and behaviors, turning us into control-seekers and even leading us to a self-centered state. This episode isn't just about identifying stress-induced behaviors; it's a call to action to harness stress as a tool for transformation and growth. Join Zach as he guides you on how to turn stress into a pathway for achieving remarkable leadership and life-changing results. Get ready to redefine your relationship with stress and step boldly into your arena!
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Work with Zach
• Book Zach to Speak

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
  
  

Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!

TRANSCRIPT BELOW:

Zach Arend: What's inside of you, what's alive in you.

That has an opportunity to come to the surface and get cleared up and cleaned up so that you can experience even more freedom.

 Welcome to the arena. Before we get into today's episode, I want to share with you an event I'm hosting. On January 10th, I'm going to be doing a virtual event and an in-person event, so you can choose whichever one works best for you. I'm calling it leading in the arena. And this is for entrepreneurial leaders, business owners, executives. If you're wanting to amplify your influence, your impact, and ultimately the results in your life and your business, then. This event's for you because far too many of us, you know, we feel a little bit stuck. Being the go-to person for everything. And we ended up dropping our entire day to meet all these urgent demands of our team.

And then at the end of the day, if you really check in with yourself, Did you really do what you set out to do to move you forward on your goals and your desires? And then just that in combination with managing the emotional temperature in the world today and being so conscious of how other people are feeling around you and leaving you feeling kind of limited in what you can do and say and I want to help you change your relationship with some of these obstacles that we experience so that you can really fully step into the arena of your own life and your business. And playful out. This is a two hour it's a no cost to you.

I'm giving this to my community, spending time with you walking you through how you can really step into a more powerful way of being. In your leadership from the inside out, you're going to know more of what that means. In fact, we're going to talk a little bit about that in today's episode. Because I want to go deeper around this question of who are you under stress? When you are feeling stress and pressure. Who are you? Who do you tend to be?

How you tend to show up when you're under stress? This is an important question because. Look. Yeah, the way you show up into the world and the way you show up in your business. Is going to have a direct impact on your ability to create more what you want or create more what you don't want. And it's important to be responsible. Because the moment you give that responsibility away and you say, well, it's just crazy right now.

And I'm just, there's just a lot on my plate, but. And you rationalize and justify your way of being. Your that's a recipe to keep you exactly where you are. And so I want to talk about. Stress fear, worry. Self-doubt all those icky uncomfortable emotions that we tend to avoid. And we'd just rather not experience. We'll just call that the experience of being a human being. I'm want to invite you to go into that in this episode?

Who are you under stress? Now my ask is you answer this question and reflect on this question with me. Without judgment. This isn't an invitation to judge yourself and beat yourself up because yeah you're not proud of who you are under stress. That's not the point. That's not why I'm asking this question.

It's to get curious with it. And here's the thing that I've noticed when I'm working with clients. I work with a lot of one-on-one clients or in this event that I'm doing on the 10th, we get in a room together and we start exploring this question. We explored the mother. More positive, energizing questions too, but we got to start here. Because this is what's running our life for far too many of us, because we just say, well, it is what it is.

It's stressful. And I'm just got along on my plate. And so therefore I just. Yeah, I just need a break or I'm burnout. Like, no, you are a powerful human being. You're responsible. Nobody's coming. You get to choose a new way of being, and that's kind of the outcome. What, if you could get yourself to that state of like, oh my God. It doesn't have to be this way. And one of the things that I do, and this is interesting because there's two types of stress. There's like that chronic stress. It's just kind of like a weight on your back. You carry it around with you day in, day out. It keeps you up at night, comes in the form of anxiety. Chronic. It's just there. And that's one thing, and it's great to be aware of that. But then there's like that acute stress when the pressure and the dial is cranked really loud. It gets acute. And one of the ways that I love playing with people is I ask them, you know, like sometimes they show up first, a coaching session, they show up one of my groups and initially we start talking to you, like, things are good.

You don't, things are pretty good. You know, things are pretty good. All right. I don't, you know, I don't really know what I could work on today. You know, I don't know what I would love to create for myself. All I do is I asked them to elevate the game they're playing. We look at a three-year picture.

We're like, okay, over three years, what would you love to have achieved in your life and your business? And then all I do is I shorten the timeline. I say, okay, what if that was going to happen in this year? That's now your goal. You're going to do that in the next six months. Now what. All I do is I create some acute stress, like, oh, just turn the volume up on that. And I get to see, we get to see what comes out of that. As a result of cranking up the pressure in a safe environment and a container where it's, you know, there's someone there to catch you and you can work through it.

But when you squeeze a lemon, What comes out? Lemon juice. So when you get squeezed, the truth comes out. There's no more bullshitting. There's no more rationalizing and justifying. The real fear comes to the surface. The real source of your stress comes to the surface. And that's awesome because now we get to work with it. We get to understand it.

Like where is that coming from? Why am I believing? That's true. What evidence do I have? And so who are you under? Stress is such a powerful question, because if you're unwilling to ask that question and actually step into stressful. Environments. You never get to figure out who you truly are because on the other side of that stress, Is a powerful way of being that is the exact way in which you're going to create everything you want in your life. But you have to be willing to sit with that question.

Who am I when I'm under stress?

And so sometimes we have to create it. And sometimes we have to create it like through a coaching conversation where we got to dial up that vision and that goal to where it's so big, it feels impossible. And then we start looking at the reasons. What are, shall we say, the lies that we tell ourselves about why it's impossible.

And when you do that, all of a sudden freedom comes and you get to create it. And you're going to be much more likely to make it a reality. And you're able, you're going to be able to do it so much quicker because you're clearing all the noise out of the way. And you're getting really dialed in on what is true. And what is just worry and made up stories that have no evidence. And this has never been more true for me. You know, so one, one thing is you get a coach and they kind of amp up the pressure.

So we can start working through those limiting beliefs and stories. The other time is, you know, sometimes you don't really need to create it. Sometimes life just happens. And it's your greatest teacher and I'm going to share a personal story. If you're listening to this episode, I'm recording this one right before Christmas.

It'll come out, I think on January 4th, but right before Christmas, well, about 30 days ago, right around Thanksgiving, my wife and I decided to put an offer on a house. I didn't really, weren't really planning on doing that. It just kind of came out of nowhere and we're like, this is the house. And we're off to the races.

And two days later we got our house on the market. Two days after that. We've got an offer at sign, you know? And so it's like, now it's like, oh my God, what? I didn't think I could do. I think I actually can. We can move into this new hospital for Christmas. And so here we are. It's a week before Christmas. And we still haven't got a firm closing date, but movers are scheduled on Friday. And I'm where my wife and I both run our own businesses.

You know, I'm going, doing these videos. If you look behind me, there's home Depot boxes. You know, my, my office is a wreck. You. A mess. I've got people inspectors come in here at noon. And I just like, and I'm like on a zoom call with a client. I'm like, oh, sorry, I'm getting interrupted. You know? It's been absolutely crazy. And so this has been a teacher. Like who am I under stress?

Because you know what, I'm going to share some things because who am I being when I'm feeling all this pressure? Because I've, it's been a while since I felt this much stress and pressure, it's just. It's a lot. I mean, my oldest daughter is like not wanting to move, like change is hard and she, you know, and that's been a process and I'm trying, you know, we're my wife and I run a business and and we've created this timeline where we want to move in before Christmas, but then we've got to drive to Nebraska for Christmas.

And so in that its presence to be wrapped. And you know, for most of us this time of year is stressful and it just is And I'm going to say it doesn't have to be, but given the whole year, this is a container that's just right for stress. And I went ahead and poured gasoline on the fire and said, well, let's go ahead and move right before Christmas, too. You know, and let's just do this as fast as we possibly can. And so I'm learning some things about myself because You know, over the last, this weekend and the last four, four days, it's just completely been up in the air. And I'll be honest.

Like I know I'm not being who I desire to be when I'm dropping F bombs at a car that is driving slow in front of me on the interstate, as I'm trying to get my daughter to her musical theater performance. And oh, and then like, I'm literally driving home yesterday. You guys This is the eighth performance my daughter's doing for elf the musical. This is like the third time I've driven downtown and I'm like trying to get my house packed up.

And I just, I'm losing my shit on cars. Like people are driving slow and coming into my lane and I'm just like, ah, you know, And I'm like, And there's a moment of like, whoa, what is going on? You didn't cool. Your jets, Zach, you know, like, whoa. And. This is like, the part of me is like, do I share this?

You know? And. And then I'm at home and I'm like, kind of biting my wife's head off about what are we having for lunch. And she's like, let's go out to eat. And I'm like, I don't have time to go out to eat like freaking list. You know, and I'm just like, I'm like, wow. What is going on. And. I'm just thankful that I've done enough of the work to be like, oh, let's tap the brakes here.

Cause something's not quite right. I'm not going to say it's bad and I should just be ashamed myself. Cause I'm being a jerk. 'cause, I just don't find that I want to bring some love into this, but I had. And there's three things that I'm seeing for myself. And I'm sharing this for you because I'm like, who are you under stress?

Who am I under stress? And more importantly, how are you? And I creating that stress because we always are. We always are. We create our experience. We do. And if you want to understand what that means. You need to join me on one of my events. January tends to the next one. Because we create our experience. And that might sound crazy right now.

You will not sound crazy by the end of the evening. Or the end of the virtual session, if you join.

I am creating the stress. And it's my relationship with that stress. That's determining how I show up. And this is true for you too. So in this holiday season, this new year, how are you creating? The thing you say you don't want. That's a powerful question. You guys. So here's my answer to myself. I'm sharing self-reflections, but I believe there's a principle here for you. In all of us. And maybe for the future me.

So we'll listen to this episode again, down the road and be like, oh, okay. Remit. Reminder, remember. Yup. So first and foremost, there's three things I wrote down. What am I learning from this acute stress that. That I have created. thAt I am experiencing. That I have created the experience of. What am I learning from that?

Because there's such an opportunity because under stress you get to learn about who you are. Not like as a F like, Not there's no period, but who you are being, it's not like, this is just who you are. See how you're actually a jerk. You've been fooling everybody. You're actually a big a-hole. And like, no, that's not what I mean, but like what's inside of you, what's alive in you.

That has an opportunity to come to the surface and get cleared up and cleaned up so that you can experience even more freedom. That's what I want for myself. It's what I want for you. That's why I'm doing these events. So the three things I learned. And am learning. I'm not sure. I'm not going to say I've got this all figured out.

I think I'm, I know I'm still learning these, but when the volumes up, they get louder and it's like, okay, still got some work to do. Cool. So the first one is. Kind of what I've been already saying, like I'm creating the stress. Realizing that I created this. Y because I set the deadlines. I did. There is no reason we have to move before Christmas. In fact, the more like, you know, realistic conservative thing would be like, Hey, let's move. Like the Thursday after Christmas, and now we've got a week buffer.

We should be good, you know, but no. I create the deadline because I'm like no, we're going to move. I think we move from Christmas. Let's do it. Because. You know, and then I create all the reasons why, well, because I've got a busy January and if I can move before Christmas, then. We can get in our new house for Christmas.

We have our first Christmas in our new house. And then the first week, you know, between Christmas and new year, there's not a lot going on. I'll have that whole week to just unpack and enjoy myself. And I create the deadlines and then I create all the reasons why these deadlines have to be the way it is.

I create the rules of the game.

You create the rules. Of the game of life you always do. I created this. So this isn't an opportunity to be like, and you're an idiot for doing that. Like how could you let that happen? No. No. Now there might be a part of me. That's like, But I'm going to forgive that part of me. But just by acknowledging that, you know what I created this. There right behind that. Reminds me that I'm responsible.

I am able to respond. I created this. Therefore I can create what happens next.

I can choose to move the date I can. I can. Or I can choose to say no, let's still go for it. But let's just do it in a little bit different way. Let's change our relationship with this deadline. It doesn't have to feel like it's in concrete. So there's some freedom that comes just by acknowledging that. I can own this.

I created this. So if you're in a business, Or a leader like you create deadlines all the time for yourself. You create deadlines by not Agreeing on the deadline. Somebody asks something of you and you just in your mind say, well, that has to be done now. Instead of asking, you know, like, Hey, you know, given this week, would it be all right if I had that to you on Friday instead of Tuesday morning, tomorrow? How does that work for you?

Oh Friday. Okay. Thursday. Okay, great. Let's agree to do it on Thursday. We don't do that. We just create our own deadline and say like, okay, I got to get this out. I've got to get this proposal done. I've got to get this layout done. I've got to week you create the deadlines. So, this is such an Ulta-

this is a principle that when I'm inviting you to look at. How are you creating stress by the deadlines you create? You create the rules. So number two,

I'm noticing the more I feel stress. And I'm wondering what you notice about you don't make this about me, make this about you. I'm noticing the more stress I feel, the more pressure. I'm creating for myself, but the more stress. Pressure I've stretcher. That's a word pressure. I feel. The more, I want to grip the steel steering wheel.

The more I want to try to control. Getting this thing across the goal line. I am like locked on that steering wheel and I'm calling people and like, what about this? Where's this? Do we have this. And I am like. Controlling this thing. And I'm noticing that the more pressure and stress I feel, the more I reach for control. I have to make sure that we are okay.

It's on my back. And that comes at a cost. One it's given me this. I think we reached for control because there's a sense of security and safety and certainty. And I think it's all bullshit, to be honest, like what really do we have control of in our lives, in our businesses and the moment you try to control anything? I try to control your spouse, try to control your kids. Uh, good luck with like, it doesn't work.

Does it? Like, like controlling anything in life. Is. iT opens us up to making a mess now. The problem with children is we can kind of feel like we can control them. Like you can go. You know, you can raise your voice and then they listen and they go get their pajamas on. But. That has a short shelf life. I'm learning right. Whenever we reach for control. It creates a mess. And frankly, it's it doesn't work there.

Control is an illusion. And the sooner we can sit with the. I am not in control of my life. There's some peace that comes from that too. But what I'm learning and that's kind of the reminder of like, I am not in control of my life because right now I think I am right now. I think I can make this move happen.

Now there's a S there's a. There's a strength and a dark side to that. Right? I think sometimes I can see how that serves me. Just that willingness, that discipline. I am going to will this into. Happening. And I've done that. And so have you. But I do believe you can live in that paradox of I'm going to make this happen.

And I have absolute no control in making this happen. There's kind of this, I'm going to do everything that I can to make this happen. With, from a place of peace, knowing that I ultimately am not in control. That's powerful. So that's the second thing I'm learning and it's reminding myself, it's like, oh, there's that control thing again? Ooh.

Okay. From piece. I created everything. I am actually not in control of anything now. I have agency here and I can do everything I can in my power. While maintaining my values and being in integrity with who I desire to be. So does that give me a free license yell at my kids and my wife? No. Or flip off the, I didn't flip the guy off, but I mean, I might as well as uh, on the interstate.

No. Like that's actually an indicator. It's like, oh, your red lining may be in need of dial it back a little bit. But I still can stay on task and stay focused and getting this thing done. But I don't have to create a world of hurt and suffering for myself and everyone around me in the process. But when I grasp for control, that's ends up what's happening.

And so finding some peace around, well, what am I trying to control? That if I'm being honest with myself, I have absolutely no control of. I kind of separating your agency and all of this and. The rest is left to God. The universe. You know, your co-creator like some of this is just out of your hands.

Most of it is if you're really being, if we're being honest, So just clinging to what you can control within letting go of it. Because there are a lot of peace comes. And now again, this is what the benefits of feeling acute stress is. It's like, oh, it shows you who you're being loud and clear so that you can address it. The last one is when I'm under stress and pressure.

What about you? Is control. Yes. But then I'm also intimately being extremely self-centered. Self centered, like. I am taking it on. I am making this happen. And in a way I kind of become this. This victim, this martyr, like, look at me, I am doing everything. I'm working long hours and doing this and that.

And you know, I'm packing and all, you know, and. Very self-centered. And what ends up happening is you kind of put yourself in a position where it's you against the world. And that's what happened on my way home yesterday. Driving home. Yeah, there were some cars. Like, they just kind of were driving slower, honestly, like, but it, but the way it was occurring for me was so intense.

Like get out of the way, like Sunday drivers. Oh my God. But they were pro these cars are probably driving the same as the cars that I meet on every day, but they were occurring to me differently because of who I was being. So self-centered that it was like me against the world, that's who I was being.

And so any type of. Anything that was outside of what I wanted was an attack. And so I was responding as if it was an attack. Like God get on my way, driving by him, you know? And it's like, I'm creating that the, and it's coming from a place I'm being very self-centered. This is, I am. Being such the martyr right now, I'm feeling like such the victim, that this is all up to me. I have to do this.

Otherwise we're not going to be able to move into time. I've got to push this thing done. We've got to move before Christmas because that's who I was being. Very self-centered. I. There's a lot of control. Ultimately leaving me feel very self-centered and whenever you're self centered, you're not seeing your how much you're connected with people around you. How much people are actually willing to help you. When you're self-centered you don't ask for help. You carry it around your back. In where it like a battle scar and you're proud of it.

And. And this crap is what we do in our lives and our leadership and our businesses. And it's not serving us. It's not serving you. All it's going to end up doing is you're probably going to get into a, An argument on the interstate with another driver or something. And sometimes it comes out like, you're you get in an argument with your dryer at home, like the lint trap, like you start yelling at the limp trap, you know, like this is when you kind of are like, Hey, something's off.

Something's not quite right. I'm being a little self-centered here. How could I invite more of life in, in, in feel reconnected with my family and my team. And a great way to do that is to start ask for help. So these are three things that back to who are you being under stress? Who are you under stress?

Not as a judgment, but as an opportunity to get curious, learn. And to release some of the stuff that's not serving you so that you can fully be who you desire to be. And that's what the event on January 10th is going to be about. It's a two hour event. We're going to do it on the evening on January 10th, downtown Kansas city.

And then I have also a virtual session that. I don't remember the exact time, but it's during the day. So any remote people that aren't from Kansas city feel free to join virtually. We're going to get into, why are things the way they are for you and your life and your business? Not as a way of like, I'm beating you over the head with it. But like, who are you being? And that's a powerful question, because then you get to decide if that's who you want to be. And I'm going to teach you a powerful framework. So that you can not only answer that question, but learn how you can make some minor shifts in your life and how you're approaching your day. That has the power to literally transform. Everything. In your. And in all areas of your life, I'm. I know that sounds like a pretty big. Promise, but it's true. Just ask anybody that's been to the event. When you change your relationship with and see how you're creating what you're experiencing. Freedom.

That's what happens. Freedom to choose freedom, to get back to being who you desire to be freedom, to be creative and powerful and impactful. And that's where true influence and leadership comes from. And this stuff is critical and that's what we're going to be getting into. In my next, leading in the arena event. So, Join me on January 10th, you can sign up by going to my website. www.zacharend.com/workshop. That z Zacharend.com. C H a R E N d.com forward slash workshop. This is Leading in the Arena January 10th, where we're going to really dial in on how you can look at who you're being.

And create some powerful shifts so that you can increase your influence, your impact, and ultimately the results. In your business in your life. Thanks for listening and we will see you in the next episode.

In this episode of Being in the Arena, hosted by Zach Arend, he introduces an upcoming live event, "Leading in the Arena," on January 10th, emphasizing its relevance for entrepreneurial leaders, executives, and business owners. Zach shares a transformative story from a past event attendee who experienced increased self-awareness in real-time, highlighting the importance of focusing on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past, metaphorically represented by the rear-view mirror and the windshield. He explores the impact of a negativity bias when evaluating oneself and encourages leaders to shift their perspective, spending more time looking through the windshield to embrace creativity, solutions, and opportunities. The episode provides a glimpse into the workshop's focus on enhancing leadership by staying present and leveraging one's instincts. To learn more about the event, visit www.zacharend.com/workshop.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Work with Zach
• Book Zach to Speak

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
  
  

Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!


TRANSCRIPT BELOW:


Zach Arend: That's where all the magic is in leadership. If you're an entrepreneur and you're trying to create results, you never create results in the rear-view mirror Welcome to the arena. I'm your host, Zach Arend. And before I get into today's episode, I want to share that on January 10th, I will be hosting a live event, both in person and virtual. So it doesn't matter where you are, you're going to want to be at this event. It's a two hour event. It's free. It's something that I want to do for you to really start off the new year strong.

We're calling it Leading in the Arena. It's January 10th. You can go to www.zacharend.com/workshop to learn more. But if you're an entrepreneurial leader, if you're an executive, a business owner, then you're going to want to be there on the 10th because we're going to really talk about who you're being in your day to day and how you show up for your team and how you can amplify your impact and your influence and ultimately the results that you see in your business and your life. That's what the evening is going to be about. If you're joining us virtually, that's what we're going to be doing.

All the details can be found on my website: zacharend.com/workshop. So I want to go right into today's episode sharing a story of somebody who attended the last event. I did this event back in October and we sold out. It's a small venue. We had 11 people in attendance. I did not offer it virtually.

This time we're going to do a virtual session as well. We sold out and one of the attendees came up to me after and a week or so goes by and we caught up and he said that after that night, he started noticing himself becoming way more aware in the moment, real time "where I've always kind of been aware, I've always kind of... that afternoon I might be evaluating how I maybe didn't show up the way I wanted to show up for that meeting or that conversation. But something was different after that event because I was starting to notice who I was being in the moment of the conversation and I was able to become aware of what was going on so that I can make choices in the moment to be and show up in a way that is much more effective, real time, present moment."

Self awareness. That is the source of powerful leadership, and when he was sharing the story with me, I'm like, "oh, I've thought about this before." And there's a distinction that came to mind the rear-view mirror and the windshield. Far too many of us go through our lives looking through the rear-view mirror, looking at, I don't know if you can look through a rear-view mirror, but you're looking at the rear-view mirror instead of through the windshield right?

We're looking at the past 80 percent of the time. You know, when I grew up as a young sales guy, I was taught, you know, we called it the slow burn. Always evaluate like how could you have done better? You know, and we all do this. " Oh yeah, I'm always interested in getting better. Let's evaluate. Let's do a postmortem," right? We call these things postmortems, which is a terrible name, by the way. But we are looking in the rear-view mirror and evaluating. "How did I do there? How was my day? How did I do today?" I remember one time I had spent a whole day making sales calls out in the field, and I was traveling, and I was on the flight that night, and I asked myself, "how did I do today?"

And you know what? Every time I asked that question, I didn't like the answer. I'm looking through the rear-view mirror, looking at the past, how did I do today? Well, here's the truth. The truth is, we all have what's called a negativity bias. In psychology, we call it a negativity bias. And so what that means is we tend to focus on the negative.

We're biased towards the negative. So if we ask ourselves, "how did we do?" Our mind and our attention is going to immediately go to where we didn't do great. And soon after that, as we're evaluating and kind of judging ourselves, good, bad, right, wrong, we start to feel guilty and then we start to beat ourselves up.

Well, I did, anyway. On the plane ride home, I started feeling guilty. " I don't know. I could have handled that conversation better. Oh, I don't know. I..." and really it was, I didn't get the result I wanted, therefore, I must have done something wrong and guilt, heaviness, exhaustion. And by the time I got home, I'm like, "I hate this job." You know? 

"I don't want to do this anymore." But well, you know what? I was creating a lot of that by just looking in the rear-view mirror and fixating myself on the rear-view mirror instead of looking through the windshield, I could have enjoyed that flight reading a book, right. Or something.

And this has huge implications, rear-view mirror, windshield. What would it be? What would be the opportunity for you to spend more time looking through the windshield of your life and less time in the rear-view mirror? If you're a leader, 

I already know most of us are in the rear-view mirror. We're constantly self evaluating.

"How did we do?" "What are they thinking about us?" " Did they think that I did a good job? Do I think I did a good job?" And we're in the past. We are in the past. And you can't be in the past and also be in the present moment. It doesn't work that way. And you're giving away all your power. We've got to get you present with the windshield, what's in front of you,

 what's coming at you, and learning to trust your instincts and your intuition to show up fully for whatever that is. What would be different about your life if the rear-view mirror didn't have to be there and you only had the windshield? I don't know about you, but it just feels like, oh, that would be really nice.

And what we explore January 10th, when we're together in this Leading in the Arena workshop, we talk about this very subject almost the whole time because it's critical, because if you can't train yourself and get yourself to see through the windshield, you can't see what is, and you close off all the creativity and all the solutions and all the opportunities around you.

That's where all the magic is in leadership. If you're an entrepreneur and you're trying to create results, you never create results in the rear-view mirror,

 only in the windshield, present with who's in front of you. And that's what we get to, is, we help you make a shift from rear-view mirror to windshield.

Because what changes when we're looking through the windshield? Windshield over the rear-view mirror, right? We're free from the guilt and the self judgment. We stop focusing on the past. That negativity bias loses its grip on us. And now we're looking through the windshield, and we're asking ourselves, what's the opportunity here?

Ain't bad, just is. Okay. Here we go. Oh, this person's upset. So I'm going to be present. I'm going to stay. I'm not going to start being like, "what did I do to upset him?" And go to the rear-view mirror. No. I'm just like, "oh, appears you're upset. Let's talk about it. What can we do it?" And we're just in it.

We're in it and we're with people and we're fully engaged. What do you think that might lead towards if you could do more of that in your day to day, especially as a leader ? All of the exhaustion that you're experiencing actually isn't what you think it is. It's your relationship with it.

And it's all in the past. It's already happened. Yet you're still carrying it around because you're looking at the rear-view mirror. When you start to look through the windshield, all of a sudden, all of that stuff loses its power, and we can be present. Things get a lot lighter, and we can show up and be who we want to be. And this is the ultimate question.

When you leave that night or the virtual event, whichever one you choose on January 10th, you're going to see clearly that the question "how did I do" is just not a useful question. It's just not. Now, sure, maybe there's a moment. Yeah, there's times to evaluate and watch the tape. Yeah, I get that. But not all the time.

Good God, most of us live our lives from the place of "how did I do?" And most of the time, the answer is "not as good as I wanted to do." And so I'm just going to say, "how did I do" is not a useful question. Instead, what if, looking through the windshield now of your life, it's "who am I being?" 

"In this very moment, who am I being? Is that who I want to be?" "Who am I being? And is that who I want to be?" Real time, in the moment. Because when you can have that level of self awareness, you can self-correct on a dime. You can see yourself. "Oh, I'm about ready to step into that pothole. Not going to do it. I'm not. I know where this road leads. I'm not going there. I'm taking a different path."

That's what it means to be completely aware of who you're being and clearly seeing "is it aligned with who I desire to be or not?" And being 100 percent a choice in the moment to choose a different way of being to where you can show up more powerfully with more influence and more impact.

We're going to get into exactly how you can do that. I have a, it's a framework that brings what's very complex and makes it simple and clear for you. And it's a tool you can bring into your leadership. And what's really cool about that, is when you become more self-aware and you start to learn to look through the windshield of your life, you start to see those that you're leading and interacting with when they're in the windshield. Or when they're looking at the rear-view mirror and you can get them looking forward again. And you can help them navigate through the same very question. "Who are you being? And is that who you want to be?"

That's a powerful question. And when you can get yourself to dial into that real-time, you are leading. You have no other choice but to lead yourself and therefore lead everybody around you. That's what I want for you. And that's my promise. That's my promise. By the end of the event on the 10th, you're going to know how to do that.

You're going to know how to do that. What would that be worth to you? So, join me on the 10th. You can sign up www.zacharend.com/workshop. That's Zach Arend, Z A C H A R E N D dot com forward slash workshop. And whether you join me or not, I hope you are taking something from this episode, because just the simple question of, "are you focused on the rear-view mirror?" Are you focused on your past in evaluating "how well did I do or how well am I doing?" Or you are you staying in the windshield of your own life, like being present with what is and learning to trust yourself real-time? Because there's a huge shift in your energy and in your ability to create the results you desire in your life. You can't do it in the rear-view mirror.

You have to be in the windshield. So where are you? Where's your focus? So thanks for listening. And, you know, I hope to see you on the 10th. But if not, that's cool. Let's keep playing full out in these episodes and I'm going to do my best to bring you some great content this coming year.

And I think you'll be listening to this right before the new year. So happy new year and we'll see you in the new year. Thank you.

Zach unpacks Elon Musk's transformative approach at Twitter, offering valuable leadership insights for those aiming to revolutionize their organizations. Highlighting the necessity of embodying a vision and establishing high performance standards, Zach reveals how Elon's 'hardcore' culture shift at Twitter is a masterclass in decisive leadership and cultural transformation. This episode is a call to action for leaders to embrace boldness, foster strong team agreements, and courageously pursue their vision, despite the risk of being unpopular. Tune in for an invigorating discussion on turning your business into a well-oiled machine, inspired by one of today's most audacious leaders.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Work with Zach
• Book Zach to Speak

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
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• Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!
  
  

Do you want to know how to challenge leaders to foster a culture of responsibility and ownership from day one? Drawing parallels from his rodeo days, Zach emphasizes the transformative power of struggle and the vital role it plays in personal and team growth. He critiques the common leadership pitfalls of coddling and rescuing team members from their challenges, instead advocating for a space where individuals can stretch their capabilities and embrace the discomfort that comes with genuine growth. Zach's message is clear: stop shielding your team from struggle, let them stand tall in their responsibilities, and watch them—and yourself—thrive in the arena of leadership.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Zach’s Workshop
• Zach’s Mastermind

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
• Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!

TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
isn't that what you want? For people to show up. With a sense of responsibility and ownership and power in initiative. That's what I want.

Zach Arend: Welcome back to the arena today. I want to talk about. Something that I think can really help you improve your business. Your team, if you're a leader, a manager, or even if you have kids, this principle that I'm going to share with you today. I think it's a little revolutionary. Like most people don't think this way. At least I'm not observing that they do.

And what I am finding though, that there are so much freedom. That we're able to create for ourselves in each other when we live life and lead from this place that I'm going to share with you. And this is coming from a guy who grew up riding horses, did the rodeo. I was 11 years old when I saddled my horse 11 years old.

And I remember the day, like my mom always used to saddle my own horse, but the day that I saddled my horse, Change to me. I grew up that day. Because I took responsibility of something that I had, everything I needed. To do it. I just had not done it yet. And I did it that day. And from that point on, I was riding a little taller in the saddle and my mom never had a saddle, my horse again, and this is all about creating a culture of responsibility of ownership. In our businesses on our teams as a leader, as a manager in our homes. Are you being somebody who is. Inviting people and creating that opening for people to be responsible. Because far too often. That's not what we're doing. Far too often.

We are. Carrying around.

This thing called responsibility on our back, and we're not sharing it. We're not allowing people to be responsible for the outcomes in their own lives. For the outcomes in the business. And I get why you're right. Especially as a leader, a manager or a business owner, right. It's scary to let go and relinquish some control and trust somebody else.

You're taking something that's important to you and you're entrusting it to somebody else. It's understandable that it's hard. Yet. If you are hiring a team and you're working with a team and you're starting to get into a position of leadership where you no longer are doing all the work and you have a team below you. Then I really want you to listen to what I have to share with you because I have the opportunity to sit in so many rooms over the last three, four years with leadership teams. Highly paid high-performing executive leadership teams. That have been doing this thing called leadership for decades. And this is the number one hardest thing for them to see.

And I think grateful because I have, I get a seat at the table, but yet I'm not. In the arena with them per se. Like I'm not in the thick of it. And so I'm able to see. Differently then you are able to see oftentimes when you're on the field playing the game. And the number one thing I see is people. Taking responsibility and ownership away from those that are working with, and for them. And that's hurting them more than helping them. And so I want to talk to you today about how do you help your people truly be responsible because

isn't that what you want as a leader, a manager, a business owner,

 isn't that what you want? For people to show up. With a sense of responsibility and ownership and power in initiative. That's what I want.

And yet we complain because we don't always get that from people.

And sometimes. We have reasons to complain, but I don't like to live like that. I like to be responsible myself and I'm inviting you to be responsible. And what that looks like is. Asking yourself, how might I be contributing to this lack of responsibility and ownership of an initiative from my team? My, my team doesn't speak up in meetings. Oh, really? So I'm not going to help you fix your team.

I'm going to, we're going to talk about you. How might you be contributing to your team? Not speaking up in meetings, because the way I look at it, you don't have any other option. You can't control everybody else. You can only control you. You are responsible. You have to be, and responsibility kind of has this. iT incites blame, like I'm blaming you well, your, the problem and that is not. If that's what you're hearing. That's not what I'm saying.

I'm saying you have an opportunity to be responsible. If you have an opportunity to respond to what. It's happening. And if it's not what you want, you have an opportunity to respond. Always you are able to respond. You are responsible. That's what I'm mean when I'm talking about responsibility, I'm not blaming you because you're quote unquote, doing a bad job.

That's not the point. I want to see you step into your power and take ownership of every single situation you find yourself in. And here's the thing when you take on that way of being that I am responsible of everything that happens in my life.

And you actually start to see the truth in that. And I'm not here to argue with the, yeah. Well what about this or that? And, well, some people, They don't really have a choice and that.

I'm not here to argue about that. I'm here to say that. This is a useful idea. It is a very useful idea that I believe will serve you and will serve humanity. You'll serve the world. If we take this on. And that is this idea of being responsible. So how do we do this? So. So I've been talking to you about, okay. tHe mistake we tend to make as, okay. Yeah. That's right. Leaders are responsible taking ownership, baby. That's what I do. That's I'm the leader. If it's to be it's up to me, and this is where we get ourselves in trouble, because we start to blur the lines of responsibility. We start taking responsibility for other people and the outcomes other people are to create. And. That is where we get all crossed up. And by being this way by taking responsibility for other people in the business by. Putting pressure on your back to quote unquote, take care of people. it's your responsibility. That doesn't work. Because.

Freedom is responsibility. Think about that for a moment. Freedom is responsibility. Like the weight of freedom has weight. Like I felt it for the first time. Like never before, when I left. My full-time employment, my paycheck to step out on my own and build my own business freedom, baby.

Whew. Freedom is responsibility and that has weight. But I think there's something about that weight that really makes us come alive and calls forth the best in us. It's been true for me. And it's probably been best. It's been, probably been true for you.

But here's where we get ourselves in trouble. When we believe freedom just, it is. It leads to entitlement. Entitlement is like this relinquishing of all responsibility. And that is where we get ourselves in trouble.

And when you start treating people. As if you're responsible for them, you're putting them in a position of entitlement and even a little bit of victimhood. Because if you put yourself in a position that my job here is to take care of my people. Well, what does that say about who your people are that they need taken care of by you?

People are powerful. What if, again, I'm not here to argue. I'm just like, what if what's the truth for you here? People are powerful. Okay. So if they're powerful, they can take care of themselves. Now this isn't an invitation to be at an a-hole. That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying though, is we put ourselves in a position of being a parent to grown-ass adults in the workplace.

And then we wonder why everybody's complaining that their burnout and. There's this kind of culture of victimhood that we're experiencing, and I believe we're creating it in how we're leading and managing our people. And I know this to be true because it's a lived experience for me. One, I was that victim. You wouldn't have known it.

Like people would've never called me that. But all I was living my life from a victim position. I was complaining, I was tolerating. I was angry at a lot of people around me. that's victim hood. I'm giving away my power. That's how I'm defining it. I was giving away my power. And I realize for the first time nobody's coming Zack, like you need a salad, your own horse.

Nobody's coming. And that's when. I took my life in my own hands. And I started to see. As I stepped into the arena of leadership coaching and working with leadership teams that, oh my gosh. As leaders, we tend to take away the responsibility and ownership. And so I want to. Shine a light on this for you.

Like, how might you be doing this? And there's several things that I'm seeing recently just in conversations and Some of my clients have found this conversation very helpful. I'm going to share it with you. There's three things. And the first thing I wrote down is start on day one. If you want your people to be responsible, you have to start on day one.

I'm talking about like their onboarding when they join your team. Start on day one. How do you onboard somebody? Because.

What I see often is, oh, I've got to, get them partnered with a mentor. Right. Let's get them the mentors and let's get them a. Paired up with somebody and let's give them a training program and let's help them. And we like spell it out for him. Like every jot and tittle is spelled out from him. We've got a weekly mentorship meeting with and then we, and we've got these onboarding sessions and we're just there to make sure they feel like, they know what they need to do. And. THe intent is great.

And I'm not saying we should just throw people in the arena and say, yeah, good luck. That's not what I'm saying, but it's how we do it. Cause we bring them into our organizations and then we tell them exactly what they need to be doing over the next 60 days. I need you to talk to this person and I need you to ask them these questions.

And then I need you to go through this training. So you know how to use this system. And then I need you to build blood burn. And I need you to Shadow for a week. And we're like telling them what they need to do to learn their job. And. I think we are.

Dumbing down. What's possible because I was kind of, a team I'm working with. I kind of brought this to their attention and I'm like, well, Zach, if you came on board our company what would you look for training? And I'm like, that's an interesting question. I said, I would be looking for. Like a 60 day. Checklist, I would want you to tell me what are the outcomes I need to be able to deliver on at the end of 60 days. Zach, I need you to be able to explain our XYZ process.

Zach, I need you to be able to log into these portals, Zach, I need you to, be able to. And then give me like a weekly touchpoint with you. Because as I go through this, I'll have questions. I can't quite who should I talk to about this or that, but I would want you to put me in a position of ownership let me create these outcomes because here's what we know.

People come alive. They like they're the most driven, they're the most motivated they're most en engaged. When they have autonomy. Meaning they have choice in how something gets done. We are ripping away on Tonomy with our people because we're telling them exactly how we want it done. And we don't trust them.

So we tell them exactly how we would do it, and we kind of just expect them to do it exactly how we would do it. And I'm proposing if you just give them the outcome, this is what I want to see. I want you to be able to do and demonstrate and deliver on X, Y, Z. What questions do you have? Cool.

Great. I'll be available every week. Let's put some time on our calendar. Let me know what you need from me. Go get them, like that's what I would love. And that's what I'm suggesting. But instead what we do is we hold their hand. We literally believe we need to hold people's hands. I, and I'm suggesting that is the very thing.

That's creating people. You are creating people that needs their handheld because you are seeing them that way. So start on day one is your onboarding. Cultivating responsibility and ownership. And how might that be a great filter?

Like, if you have a new manager, who's going to be responsible for leading 3 like 12 people. And an important part of your business and they can navigate the first 60 days by figuring things out and asking questions and learning through talking to people throughout your organization.

Then. Sign says they're probably not gonna do well on their role. And isn't that great that you can use your first 60 days? Not only the train them, but to help them see this is how I see you. I see you as powerful. These are the expectations. I'm not going to coddle you. I'm not gonna hold your hand. I want to work for a person like that.

I don't want to work for anybody, but if I were to work for somebody I'd want to work for somebody like that, because that autonomy is so important. So. Start on day one, because that sets the tone. We're not holding people's hands. NUmber two, be aware of rescuing.

This is, well, this happens in day one, but it also happens. Throughout the lifetime of a team member is as the leader. The moment we see somebody struggling. We don't let them struggle. We are all over that. Is soon as you see struggle. I was in a meeting recently. And somebody made a statement, but he put a question mark at the end, it was just kind of this we were talking about priorities for the quarter and he's like, I'm going to do X, Y, Z. any he's like, I need your help. I'm going to do this and I'm like sitting here.

I'm like, God, that was pretty clear. I don't understand sounds like you know exactly what you need to do. I'm confused. And so I asked him do you need help? And he's no, I just think we should do this. And I'm like, what does everybody think? Yes. Sounds good. But because he ended with a question mark, because he wasn't sure of himself. Like three of the leaders were like, oh, well, what are you trying?

And they were like trying to help him. And it was awkward. Cause I'm sitting here. I'm like, he's got it. He's got it. He doesn't need help.

And as a leader, my job is to help him see, like you got it. I mean, don't you think you do? I mean, if not, I'd love to help you, but I think he got it. And I, it's like game on and, but we don't do that. As soon as we see someone struggling or a little unsure of themselves. We're like, oh no, they're unsure of themselves.

They're struggling. I need to help them. Here, how can I, here's what I think you should do. And then they're like, okay. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah. Okay. Huh. And here's what's happening. You are allowing them to be safe. It is there. It is they, and I'm not judging them because we have all of us have it.

It's that fear of what other people think of us? It's that imposter syndrome. It's just that self doubt coming out in. Trepidation and hesitation and tented, tentativeness. Should I be doing this? What do you guys think? Is this a good use of my time? And all they're looking for, right. Is like a little bit of safety and yes. But. We've been taught to get help. And. I'm just suggesting that I don't know.

I just see through that and I'm like no. You got it. And then I see them like their chest kind of lifts up. They sit a little taller in their chair and yeah, I think I do. But then I also kind of see a little bit of the pressure. I just put on them. But they like it like. By me saying, I think you got it. Yeah, do that. They're like, okay.

It's oh, game time, but what leaders do is they jump in, they rescue, they coddle, they see the person struggling. And so they allow that person to ask less of themselves. So instead of doing what they wrote down, they do a 10th of it because the leadership team's what if you just, did a little research first this quarter and see what you learn. And maybe start there and it's oh my God, like the person just said they want to get it done in the next 90 days.

And we're like, why don't you just do some research on it first? Like just let them run. Maybe say, yeah, I'll do it. And, but just, if you don't mind present your recommendations before pulling the trigger, but I love your energy. Go for it. We need to do that. Stop rescuing people, let them struggle.

And as they struggle, be a great coach. You got this. I think you've got, Because what on the surface, it's just self doubt. You're familiar with it. Cause we started this conversation with about being responsible. You're familiar with self doubt. You're familiar how that. Behaves. Uncertainty unsure of yourself.

I'm a little tentative in how you communicate with others. I mean, that's how I was at times. So when you start to become more aware of how that shows up in yourself, you start to see it in others. And you're like, oh yeah. That's what growth looks like right there. Struggling, like unsure. Should I really take this on. Yes, you should go for it. Oh shit.

Oh man. Pressure's on now, but it's what I've wanted. I'm not actually burned out. I'm bored because I'm not allowing myself to go play full out and give it all. I got. Instead, I'm unsure of myself and therefore everybody else treats me like I'm unsure of myself. And then it it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. And now I'm just trying to do what everybody wants of me.

And that leads to burnout. Because you're trying to please everybody else, but yourself, you're not listening to your own heart and your own mind, that's telling you go for it. So, okay. I'm feeling like I'm ranting a little bit, but. I want you to let people struggle. Because that's what growth looks like.

And the other conversation I hear often with leadership teams, it's like, how do we develop our people? How do we get these people? Like succession planning, like who do we have as the next level leaders? How are we going to train them? And then we bring in some training person, this. Teaching disc and emotional intelligence and leadership competencies.

And we got this checklist and. And I'm like, good God. We just can't let people struggle. Can we've got to spell it out for him. And half that stuff doesn't even work. There's tons of statistics to say leadership training, usually for the most part falls flat. And that's why I just choose to, even when I'm training leaders and doing workshops, I'm putting people in the arena. client of mine we're in the car. Earliest week shared with me.

He's w what I love about you, Zach, is you put people on the spot. And I'm, that's what I'm suggesting as leaders. We need to put people on the spot. And as long as we continue to listen to all the headlines around, oh, people are burnt out, they're overwhelmed and we got to take care of them. You will not put, you will stop putting people on the spot. And now you are Furthering the issues. Now you're treating them as if they're fragile to the point where they respond to that and oh my God, I think I am fragile.

Wow. I think I am burnout. I've found that when you ask more people, it just like breaks, loose some the burnout and overwhelm, because now they're playing a bigger game and they have, yeah. They get experienced their own growth again. And makes sense that scary. I mean, it's scary for me.

I'm sure it's scary for you. It's scared for them. Light up. Let them struggle. Okay.

That's what I wanted to share with you today.

 What are you hearing from this message today?

I'm checking in with myself. Because I love people. I love, it's why I do what I do. And what I love most is taking somebody who is unsure of themselves. But it has this like massive talent within them. Like their geniuses are creative geniuses. And I'm seeing them struggle. And when everybody else is wanting to give them a hug or a hand them a tissue or a rescue them. I kind of. Kick them into the arena a little bit more.

I just, I love that little push. Into, yeah, I think you should do that. And then watching them come out the other side and it's they're a new person. You can do that for your people. You can. But you're going to have to be willing to well, be uncomfortable watching them struggle. Now at the same time being there for them, for sure. Support them. if they have a question, you're there for them to help them think through it, but we don't wait for them to ask a question.

In fact, we get uncomfortable. I ask them if they need help, but they don't have any, they. I ask them if they have questions, they didn't have any questions. I mean. They have. They should have questions. Maybe they don't have any questions. Maybe they don't need you. Right now. Oh, that can be uncomfortable kind of manager, but that's what it can like.

Maybe they don't need you right now. And that's okay. They will. They're going to love you because you're allowing them to step into the arena. So your takeaway here is. I'm going to suggest that you start looking at, what does it look like for you to play a bigger game, to get into a bigger arena? What is you elevating your role in the business?

Look like doing things that scare you. Like I want to see you struggle. Like in a way that's going to cause you to grow and thrive. And while you're busy doing that. Growing struggling, thriving. You get to expect more of everybody around you. And it just becomes the rising tide lifts all boats. That's what I'm here to support you with.

And I hope that's how you're hearing this message today. That's it. Thanks for listening. If anything, just take one thing from this short episode and in apply it with your team. Ask more of them. Let them struggle. And also I invite you to find your struggle, find your bigger arena. And get back to growing who you are. Thanks for listening.

Zach invites you to embrace life's tensions as a pathway to achieving your biggest dreams. Drawing inspiration from his rodeo days, Zach compares keeping focused on a wild bronc to maintaining sight of your ambitions amidst life's chaos. He warns against the traps of overthinking, getting bogged down by the 'how,' and succumbing to limiting beliefs. This episode is a powerful call to dream boldly, act incrementally, and find joy in the journey. Get ready to harness tension, not as an obstacle, but as a driving force towards your greatest potential. Tune in for an energizing lesson in turning life's pressures into progress.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Zach’s Workshop
• Zach’s Mastermind
• The Path of Least Resistance: Learning to Become the Creative Force in Your Own Life by Robert Fritz
• 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Ben Hardy  

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
• Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!

TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
Zach Arend: Welcome back to the arena today.

I want to talk about why you need some more tension in your life. When I was riding saddle broncs in the rodeo. Something I was always instructed to do was to keep my eyes on the bronc. Keep your eyes on the Bronx. Zack, keep your eyes on the bronc. And there was a spot between the horses, neck and the shoulders, where if I kept my eyes and all my attention there, everything else just kind of faded away.

And I was able to stay with that bronc for eight seconds. Eyes on the bronc. And here's the interesting thing. You know, you're climbing over the back of this shoot. You're dropping down on this giant 2000 pound wild animal that does not want you on its back. Right. Well, when I nod my head and that gate flies open. I am not. Trying hard to stay on the back of that bronc.

Like I'm not in my head thinking. I'm not really trying hard, like it's like more of a dance. Because, you know, There wasn't a lot of conflict between me and the horse. Like I wasn't fighting the horse. Because you can't fight mother nature. This is a 2000 pound wild animal. I'm like. I was like 170 pound boy.

Like I'm not going to win that fight. And I had to learn to be with and go with that bronc for eight seconds. I had to learn to be in the dance. And there wasn't a lot of conflict. There wasn't a lot of back and forth. It was a dance. There was tension though. And that's why I'm here to talk to you about is you need some more tension in your life. Because in rodeo, the tension comes from the bronc in your life, in your business, the tension. Comes from your vision comes from your dream and you need it.

You need it to create. Tension. And here's why there's a book called the path of least resistance by Robert Fritz. He's a music composer, artists management consultant. And in this book, he talks about how in physics, everything tends to flow in the direction of least resistance. And he uses this example. Of a rubber band.

And

when you put tension on a rubber band, Tension has to resolve itself. You know what I mean? Like you, you stretch a rubber band out. The more you stretch it. It has to resolve itself in some way. And that's, what's true for you in your life. And that's why you have to create tension. You have to have tension with where you're at today. Current reality. And in the future, your dream you've got to, you've got to stand in that gap. You've got to stand in that gap.

That's where all the tension is and that's where all the magic occurs. Because when you have tension on your vision and you keep that vision and hold it high and not negotiate it and compromise it. Then that tension, the vision creates is just going to pull you into it. You don't have to try to do anything.

The vision pulls you into it. Because if I put tension on a rubber band, And that rubber band, the re the tension wants to resolve itself. When you have a big vision, when you have a big dream. It wants to find resolution. And Ben Hardy wrote a book. 10 X is easier than two X. It just came out not a couple of months ago. poWerful book in that book, he talks about the difference between a 10 X vision, a big vision, something that feels impossible.

It's certainly not realistic. And from where we stand today, that would be 10 X, two X is more of pursuing those incremental improvements in your life. You know, in, in business, incremental improvements, sound like this. If I could just get my processes. In order then I'll hire. Or once I get the right structure in my business, then I will. Work less. You know, and then we're just constantly trying to catch up with the next thing.

And it's, you know, once I do X, then I can do Y and it turns into you turn yourself into a hamster running on a wheel. Like it is an endless pursuit of. Of growth. That's two X, very incremental 10 X, not so much. TEDx is. Like a fundamental shift in how you do things and what I love. And he and Ben Hardy shares this in the book.

The difference between a two X vision and a 10 X vision is when you just go for incremental improvement, there is a multitude of ways to improve. Like countless. Multitude of ways to improve, but when you set a big vision and have a big dream big, I mean, so big, it feels impossible. There is only a handful of ways that it's going to happen. And that brings you a lot of clarity. You need that clarity.

You need that tension because that's, what's going to pull you. Into it. And so tension. There's a couple ways tension resolves itself though. Cause when I'm coaching somebody. Naturally, what starts to arise in them is what they really do not want in their life and what they really do desire in their life.

And in that tension gets cranked up and it can be uncomfortable, especially I was with a group last night. We're halfway through a program that I'm doing with a small group of leaders and entrepreneurs. And when we started. Bring the tension to light. Several of them said it was shocking to see the gap, to see where I am and who I'm being today and who I desire to be and where I desire to be at in my life.

There's this massive gap. And I'm thinking. Yes. That's. Exactly. Yes. Now. You can let that gap take you out for sure. And. That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm just suggesting, like, we need to be in a gap. We need to be willing and able to stand in the gap to stand in the tension. Because if you're not. The tension has to resolve itself some way.

So if you're not willing to stand in the tension What happens is we lower our vision. We lower our expectations. We start to make compromises that lows or lowers tension that, that reduces tension, but we don't really move toward our vision. We stay exactly where we're at. Maybe we get some incremental improvement here or there, but we don't really fundamentally change anything. We need to keep that vision high.

We need to let it pull us into it. And to do that, we have to keep the tension on the vision. Eyes on the bronc now. I want to share three ways where we lose tension on our vision. These are three of the most common things I see in those I work with and leaders, entrepreneurs, individuals, just what we tend to do. That kind of takes us out of that tension that prevents us from finding that 10 X. Improvement and growth in our life.

Here's the three, the first one is as soon as we set a big goals, a vision dream, as soon as we start to get in contact with it, we go to our head. Just like me, I'm standing behind the shoots, right? And there's this giant Clyde steel horse. Big 2020 500 pound horse. And I know not to go into my head, like, oh my God, I hope I, you know, if this horse steps on me, I might, I'm probably dead.

You know, like I don't go there. I don't go there at all. I'm just like there in the moment, eyes on the bronc. I'm not thinking about what might go wrong or why I'm maybe not ready for this particular ride, but that's what we do. And we create a big vision. We get in our head and we start to rationalize away.

What's possible. We start asking questions like, well, can I really do that? Is that really realistic right now? Do I really have the money? The time, the energy? How old am I too old? And my two young, do I have the experience? We start. Using our brains to tell us whether or not something's possible.

Well, our brain. Is only as good as our past. And if you want to create a new future, you've got to get out of your head. You've got to get out of your brain because your current thinking, isn't going to take you to where you want to go. It just, it can't. That's why that tension on a big vision. He has to be there.

Cause it's going to pull you out of your old way of being your old way of thinking and operating. And you know what? That's a necessity. If you want to create big, bold outcomes in your life. And I think you do otherwise, you wouldn't be in the arena with me right now. So. How do we get in our head?

We rationalize away. And rationalize and compromise on our vision. We talk ourselves down. That's the first thing we just get in our head. You cannot achieve a big vision in your head. You can do incremental improvement in your head because you can kind of take from what worked last time and do it a little bit better.

That's two X, 10 X doesn't happen in your head. It can't happen. It's not an intellectual activity. It's not a business plan. It just isn't you can't do it. You can't. Look, I could be full of shit here guys, but what I've learned is what I'm saying is useful. It's been very useful for me.

It's been very useful for my clients. So number one, you can't get to a big vision. In your head, you've got to get out of your head, just like Maverick in top gun. Right? Don't think just do. Just do. Number two. Is the second thing we do to bail on ourselves to diminish our vision. As we start asking how I don't know how I'm going to do it.

Oh my God. I'd be a millionaire. If I had money every time I asked myself, how am I going to do that? Because every time I've asked I've damn near psyched myself out. Cause I'm like, I don't know how, I don't know. I've never done this before. You've never done this before. Don't ask how don't ask how it's it's a, it's an unuseful question. Of how am I going to 10 X my business.

What is your vision?

What do you desire out of your life? What's your dream? Now. Okay. Leave it, just leave it there. Put it out in front of you. And feel yourself in the tension, feel yourself standing in that gap. That's all that it requires a view. In this moment, I don't need you figuring out how don't figure out. It's not about a house.

It's about who you're being. It's about how you're going to show up for this moment and the next moment, and the next moment, in a way that's congruent with your vision and your dream. So that's the second one is asking how takes us out of the tension of our vision. And number three.

 Don't pay attention to the lies that we tell ourselves, the beliefs that we hold about the way life is. Because we see the world through a lens, a set of filters based on our past life, our history, our upbringing, our families, our religion, or politics, all of that shapes how we see the world, our past experiences shape how we see the world. And frankly, A lot of it. With all due respect, it's bullshit.

Like we made it up, we took it on and we're carrying it around like a bag of rocks on our back. And when you start really questioning. These lies that we've taken on. Because it's these limiting beliefs in these stories that we hold about the way things are and about who we are that prevents us from achieving a big vision.

It takes us out of the tension. It takes us away from holding that big vision high, and pursuing it. Unapologetically with courage and boldness and action.

 So we've got to look at what Carl Jung says until you make the unconscious conscious. It will direct your life and you will call it fate.

So we got to do some excavating here and look at what are the stories that you hold about yourself, the judgments you have about yourself and others. And how might that be keeping out what you ultimately want in your life? That's a powerful question.

 Like when you start to look at how might this current way of being, and thinking, be keeping out what I want most of my life. These are the three most common ways we keep ourselves. Out of the tension of a big vision.

We're unwilling to stand in the gap and stand there with courage and vulnerability. And here's what I'm going to ask you to do. If you're willing, if you're brave enough to stand in the gap because trust it's not easy. Because it feels like tension. Like, oh boy, there's anxiety

 Anxiety is growth in many ways.

So you gotta be willing to stand in the gap.

Asking, how is it going to be helpful thinking about things isn't really going to be that helpful. And. Being unconscious to the stories that are on your life. Not helpful. Here's what you need to do. Get in touch with your heart. Get in touch with your values.

Get in touch with who you desire to be in this moment. Is it courageous? Is it bold? Is it serving others? Then take that on as a way of being now. And then the second part is just listen to your heart, listen to that way of being, and ask yourself what would be my next step. What would be my next step. You must be willing to dream bigger than you've ever dreamed before. That's what we're talking about.

Being willing to dream. Bigger than you've ever dreamed before and be willing to take smaller steps than you've ever been willing to take in the. Then any other time in your life, if you can do that. You can start to let that tension of a big vision, pull you into it. I don't know how long it takes. It's going to take for you.

It doesn't matter. Don't put yourself on a timeline. I mean, what else are you going to be doing with this one life you have? I'm like, right? Like if you have a big vision and it's something that lights you up and you love, then what else more do you need? Enjoy the journey.

Like why would you create a life of a living hell so that someday you would have what you want. Like, don't do that. Create a compelling vision, but then fall in love with who you are and just get into the arena and start taking action. Dream bigger than you ever dreamed before. And be willing to take smaller steps than you've ever taken. That's all I have for you today.

I hope you're leaving here with a little bit of clarity of what it's going to require of you to step into the gap, to step into the arena of your own vision in your own life, to create that and bring it to life. Thanks for listening and we'll see you in the next episode.

Are you scared of being bored? In this episode, Zach shares his personal experience with taking a nap instead of succumbing to the hustle, emphasizing the rejuvenating power of allowing oneself to be bored in a distraction-filled world. He encourages listeners to intentionally create space for rest and recovery, even during traditional work hours, to enhance creativity and efficiency. This episode invites entrepreneurs and driven individuals to rebel against perpetual busyness and to recognize the profound impact that strategic downtime can have on their personal and professional lives.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Zach’s Workshop
• Zach’s Mastermind

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
• Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!
  
  

In this episode of Being in the Arena, Zach challenges conventional leadership, urging a transformative shift from people-pleasing to authentic, values-driven guidance. Drawing from his executive experience, he shares a personal anecdote to highlight the pitfalls of seeking external validation over internal conviction. Zach passionately calls for leaders to embrace discomfort as a catalyst for growth, and to practice transparency and exposure instead of coddling their teams. He illustrates his points with a real-world example, showcasing the necessity of trust and truth in leadership. Concluding with a powerful call to action, Zach inspires leaders to deepen their service, coaching their teams to resilience and authenticity, and fostering a culture of genuine development and integrity.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Zach’s Workshop
• Zach’s Mastermind

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
• Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!
  
  

Zach discusses the intricacies of the creative process and the challenges that arise during its "messy middle." Drawing from his personal journey, Zach shares the story of an unexpected opportunity to speak at a major TEDx event and the ensuing pressures of crafting a compelling speech. He emphasizes the necessity of consistently engaging with one's work, even when doubts cloud the mind, and the transformative power of persistence over time. Reflecting on his knack for improvisation, Zach underscores the value of structured preparation but also acknowledges the strength of spontaneity and the ability to "wing it." He ends by exploring Eastern philosophies that view the artist as a vessel through which creativity flows, rather than the source of creation itself, urging listeners to find purpose in the process and let go of attachment to the outcome.
Learn more about Zach:

• Zach’s Website

Episode resources:

• Zach’s Workshop
• Zach’s Mastermind
• Daniel Coyle: The Little Book of Talent
• Patricia Ryan Madson: Improv Wisdom
• Martha Graham

If you enjoyed this episode then please either:

• Follow, rate, and review on Apple Podcasts
• Follow and rate on Spotify
• Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook!