Being With Joy: A Quest To Crack The Parenting Code

As I reflect on the conversations I have with parents who reach out to me I see similar themes emerging, especially when those parents have children with complex medical and/or mental health challenges. In this week's episode, I talk about those themes and how I have found myself able to overcome these parenting challenges.





Resources:
1. Brown, B. (Host). (2020, March 31). David Kessler and Brené on Grief and Finding Meaning. [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Cadence13. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/david-kessler-and-brene-on-grief-and-finding-meaning/
2. Kessler, David. Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. Scribner, 2020.
3. Brown, B. (Host). (2020, March 23). Tarana Burke and Brené on Being Heard and Seen. [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Cadence13. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-tarana-burke-on-empathy/
4. Brown, B. (Host). (2020, March 27). Brené on Comparative Suffering, the 50/50 Myth, and Settling the Ball. [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Cadence13. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-comparative-suffering-the-50-50-myth-and-settling-the-ball/

This week I talk about why I feel it is important for parents to possess a growth mindset. It is not only important for children to possess, but it's also important for parents!





Resources:
1. Brown, B. (Host). (2021).  [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Parcast Network. 
2. Lyons, L. (Host). (2021). [Audio podcast episode]. In Fluster Clux. Luxe Recess, LLC.
3. Kids Are Worth It: Raising Resilient, Responsible, Compassionate Kids, by Barbara Coloroso. Penguin Canada, 2010.
4. The Learning Scientists, learningscientists.org.

Lately, I've been speaking with parents about the messages they are sending their kids when they speak with them. So, for today's episode, I address this issue.






Resources:
1. Shanker Self-Reg: Self-Reg by Dr. Stuart Shanker, Penguin Canada, 2017.
2. Sir Ken Robinson TED Talk: https://youtu.be/iG9CE55wbtY

Helicopter parenting gets such bad press, so it seems sink or swim would be the way to go. In today's episode, I explore the options parents have between helicopter parenting and letting our kids sink or swim. Perhaps there is another option? Listen to find out?






Resources:
1. Barbara Coloroso, Kids Are Worth It: Raising Resilient, Responsible, Compassionate Kids, Penguin Canada (1st Edition), 2010.
2. The Learning Scientists: learningscientists.org
3. GROW Model and coaching for parents: Sir John Whitmore, YouTube video:  https://youtu.be/L81EA8XTJvo

In this episode I talk about how I have learned that it is impossible for me to parent my children equally, I have to parent them equitably by giving them what each of them needs. Even when each thinks I am not parenting fairly.

This week I talk about how important it is for us as parents to be more emotionally literate and how it will impact ourselves and our parenting.




Resources:
1. The Unopened Gift: A Primer In Emotional Literacy, by Dan Newby & Lucy Nunez, Daniel Newby, 2017.
2. Self-Reg, by Dr. Stuart Shanker, Penguin Canada, 2017
3. Brown, B. (Host). (2020, April 14). Dr. Marc Brackett and Brené on “Permission to Feel.” [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Cadence13. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/dr-marc-brackett-and-brene-on-permission-to-feel/
4. Dr. Lori Santos, (2020) "Don't Think of a White Bear." [Audio Podcast Episode]. In The Happiness Lab, Pushkin Industries.
5. Dr. Lori Santos (2020) "Make 'Em Laugh." [Audio Podcast Episode]. In The Happiness Lab, Pushkin Industries.
6. Lynn Lyons (2020) In Flusterclux Podcast, Luxe Recess, LLC.

In this episode, I talk about Shanker Self-Reg and how it has helped me for myself and as a parent. Listen in to hear all about this amazing lifelong process that changes the way we see behaviour.




Resources:
1. Self-Reg by Dr. Stuart Shanker:  amazon.ca/Self-Reg-Child-Stress-Successfully-Engage/dp/0143191578/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1NNN5RMYLYZRZ&dchild=1&keywords=self-reg+stuart+shanker&qid=1614380811&sprefix=self-reg+%2Caps%2C296&sr=8-1
2. The Mehrit Centre: self-reg.ca/resource-library/

This episode is the lead up to the Self-Reg episode. It is important to talk about the Limbic System when we talk about wanting to understand our and our children's behaviour. I've heard so many people talking about the Limbic System influencing our behaviours that it became necessary to address here.



Episode Resources:
1. Khan Academy: Emotions: Limbic System: https://youtu.be/GDlDirzOSI8
2. Emotions & The Brain: https://youtu.be/xNY0AAUtH3g
3. Triune Brain: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triune_brain
4. Triune Brain: https://youtu.be/G3VENQk5CSk
5. Brene Brown, Unlocking Us Podcast: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-shame-and-accountability/
6. Brene Brown, Unlocking Us Podcast: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/
7. Lynn Lyons: https://www.lynnlyons.com/books-videos/
8. Self-Reg: https://self-reg.ca/resource-library/

In this episode, I talk about how we as parents struggle to hold two competing ideas at one time when it comes to the ideas/truths being about our children.





Resources:
1. Brene Brown, Unlocking Us Podcast: https://brenebrown.com/transcript/tarana-burke-and-brene-on-being-heard-and-seen/

In this episode, I discuss my relationship with self-care and how it has evolved over time through different life experiences. 



Resources:
1. Today's Parent Article: https://www.todaysparent.com/blogs/opinion/self-care-is-a-bunch-of-bs/?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR3z2q_v2uMJ5AmN6exWtbSXc_d-OjPpgoM-YZzuTdqRm4Q8E2JqYr91Trw#Echobox=1608667603
2. Unlocking Us by Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-emily-and-amelia-nagoski-on-burnout-and-how-to-complete-the-stress-cycle/
3. Unlocking Us by Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-the-queens-gambit-revisiting-ffts-and-resting-our-tired-brains/
4. The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: https://www.happinesslab.fm/coronavirus-bonus-episodes/episode-4-calm-can-be-contagious
5. The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: https://www.happinesslab.fm/coronavirus-bonus-episodes/episode-10-good-screens-and-bad-screens
6. The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos: https://www.happinesslab.fm/2020-mini-season-episodes/sleep-right
7. Dr. John Ratey: https://www.amazon.ca/Spark-Revolutionary-Science-Exercise-Brain/dp/0316113514/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=dr.+john+ratey&qid=1612450040&sr=8-1
8. Dr. Richard Brown, Breathing: https://youtu.be/CngH49c4zgo
9. Dr. Richard Brown, Breathing: https://youtu.be/PwvGdYjrF38
10. Dr. Richard Brown, Breathing: https://youtu.be/KCvOHlNsr5c
11. Dr. Richard Brown, Breathing: https://youtu.be/ZyPHWARoa1A
12. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT, Tapping): https://youtu.be/pAclBdj20ZU
13. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT, Tapping): https://youtu.be/Tj_qSyfP2lQ