Beneath the Doing

Have you ever said yes before someone even finished asking? In this first episode, Angie, a Registered Psychotherapist with Mindfulness for Health in Burlington, Ontario, looks at the automatic yes and where it might come from. She also shares a simple three breath pause you can try before your next answer.

Sometimes the yes is out before we've checked in with ourselves. It's quick, helpful and often kind. In this episode, Angie invites you to get curious about that automatic yes, sometimes called people-pleasing, and about the part of you that may have learned being helpful kept you connected or valued.

In this episode

• The yes that comes before you've checked in with yourself
• Why being easy to count on can feel like a way to stay close to people
• The tiredness that can build when the yes is automatic
• A short guided three breath pause

The three breath pause

1. When someone asks for something, try saying, "Let me check and get back to you," or at home, "Give me a minute."
2. First breath: notice your body. Is there a tightening, a bracing or a rush?
3. Second breath: ask quietly, "What do I actually have the energy to give right now?"
4. Third breath: let the answer be whatever it is. Yes, not today or not sure yet. There's no wrong answer.

You might still say yes, and that's okay. The pause just gives you a moment to check in first. If you're driving, keep your eyes on the road and just listen.

Links

• Mindfulness for Health, including a complimentary 15-minute virtual Meet and Greet: https://mindfulnessforhealth.ca

Also from Mindfulness for Health

Looking for a few quiet minutes? Mindfulness for Health Meditations, Angie's other podcast, offers short guided meditations to help you pause and come back to yourself. Listen on Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindfulness-for-health-meditations/id1588262978 or Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/65Gprv0EqqZ1dK43fTkOwR

About your host

Angie Kingma is a Registered Psychotherapist and founder of Mindfulness for Health in Burlington, Ontario. She offers therapy in person in Burlington or online across Ontario.

Please note

This podcast is for general education and reflection, and it isn't a substitute for therapy or individual care. Listening doesn't create a therapist and client relationship. If a practice brings up anything difficult, it's okay to open your eyes, stop or skip it.

This episode was written with AI assistance, revised as needed and all content was approved by me, and recorded using an AI clone of my real voice for quality purposes.