Thank you for listening! This poem is inspired by the prompt: “let me tell you what it’s not…”

I thought about what being perceived feels like, and maybe what it would feel like when someone actually SEES me—beyond my beauty.

If you’d like to support my writing or send over a quick thank you, here’s the link to buy me a coffee

I’ll write to you again soon.

~ Chérie

IG @heywildflwr

A reflective meditation on anxious and avoidant attachment, secure love, and the slow healing God offers. An exploration of what it means to love without urgency, without lack, and with trust—learning a love that can breathe.

@heywildflwr on instagram

It’s the start of a new calendar year, and I’m resisting the urge to rush.

Instead of asking What’s next? I’m asking a quieter, truer question—one rooted in faith and discernment:

What is mine to tend to for the long haul?

It might sound like an oxymoron, but I’m learning this is true: the slower I go, the faster I arrive.

Presence.

This isn’t a rejection of goals or six-month plans. It’s simply an acknowledgement that most of our lives are lived in the right now. Not the future. Not the past. Today.

This moment.

Over the holiday, I caught myself looking at my dog and asking a question she couldn’t answer:

When did you grow up?

I remember the day I adopted her—four pounds, six ounces, a smelly nine-month-old Yorkie mix curled in the back of a shelter cage. And now here she is, nearly three years old, fourteen and a half pounds, loving and pure.

When did that happen?

The in-between feels fuzzy. Not because it wasn’t meaningful —but because the last twenty-four months of my life felt like everything was happening all at once.

On December 31 2025, I looked over at her again and made the decision: going forward, I will be more intentional with presence. Intentional being the key word.

Creating moments that matter. Writing with purpose. Fostering a community that feels like the first snowfall on a cozy winter morning — gentle, unique, and full of wonder.

Warmth that's both tangible and transferrable.

Not chasing what’s next. Just being here with what’s now.

So while the world hit the ground running with strategies and email blasts, I chose a different pace. One that’s kinder to my nervous system. Slower, more meaningful.

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Eyes Open

I’ve been carrying this tension for months — wondering if I should stop painting. Sell my easel. Accept that a season had closed. Wondering if it was a distraction.

And then a song played. An image formed. And I picked up my brush.

I’ve been painting more lately, which usually means I’m writing less poetry. For me, those two are like an on-off switch. I’ve learned not to question God when this happens.

In that wrestling, I received clarity I didn’t know I needed — clarity that’s guiding me into this new year.

The difference (and connection) between career, gifting, calling, oil, anointing, purpose, and hobbies.

Some of this will sound like a bunch of Christianese as they say, but I’ll keep it as simple as it was revealed to me. My hope is that it offers clarity and steadiness where you’ve been searching.

Gifting

Your gifting lives where your quirks are.

It’s what God placed in your hands. Others see it clearly, while you’re more aware of the friction around it.

For example, I’m a writer with dyslexia. For years, I focused more on the challenge (or quirk) than the gift itself. I reread, revise, and labor more than some—and in earlier seasons, that resistance kept the gift from maturing fully.

There’s almost always resistance near your God-given strength.

Gifts are meant to be poured out—but first, they must be understood.

Look deeper.

This is why we need one another. Where I am weak, someone else is strong.

Calling

God wired us to work together in our calling. It’s what He wants to do in the earth through willing vessels like you and me—using the gifts He’s given us.

It’s the thread God weaves through a lifetime.

The spiritual gifts Paul names in 1 Corinthians are precursors to calling.

For example:

* Prophecy / Seer → Scribe

* Wisdom / Dreamer → Visual Artist

* Hospitality / Serving → Community Builder

* Healing / Mercy → Intercessor

* Teaching / Exhortation → Speaker

Romans 11:29 reminds us that the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable. Meaning they are given freely—whether or not we surrender them back to Him to shape.

That’s where oil and anointing come in.

Oil, Anointing, and Purpose

Oil is formed in the quiet.

It’s cultivated through quiet time with God—through scripture, stillness, and presence.

Metaphorically, it’s what begins to drip off of you when you spend time in His presence.

God places the super on your natural.

Psalm 23 says, ”You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”

From that overflow, that anointing by God, we discover purpose — not as a starting point, but as a result — it’s what we are meant to do in the earth

Purpose is where the story moves from your prayer closet into the world. It answers the question, “what do I do with my calling?”

Faith has taught me that purpose isn’t something we invent. It’s something we steward.

Career and the Kingdom

At some point, the practical question arises: But I need a career.

And that’s true. Yet all of it—every role, every skill— is by God and for God.

What you do for a living and what you do for the Kingdom may be the same—or they may complement one another beautifully.

For example:

Healing / Mercy → Intercessor → Nurse, Doctor, Therapist, Counselor, Doula

You don’t have to work for a church to serve God.

If there’s tension here, it may be an invitation to get quiet and pray:

“God, shape me into who You’ve called me to be.”

Start there. The rest will flow.

Hobbies

Hobbies are set apart in their own way.

They’re life-giving expressions of joy, curiosity, and play. I see them as a form of worship.

For me, that looks like painting, photography, gardening, hiking, and dancing.

Moments of awe.

Just me— conversations between me and God alone.

Not everything is meant to be shared. Not everything is meant to be monetized.

If everything becomes a money grab, what remains sacred?

Confusing these categories is how we burn out. Honoring their differences is how we endure.

Choosing With Discernment

There will always be invitations. Needs. Places we could show up.

So I’ve begun filtering my yeses:

* Does this align with my long-term calling—or just my short-term emotions?

* Is this sustainable?

* Will this deepen my faith, or slowly drain it?

Voluntary roles now pass a gentler, firmer test:

Does this belong in the story God is writing for me right now?

Boundaries That Protect the Call

A rule I’m carrying into this year:

Only two ongoing commitments per year outside of my career.

Everything else must be seasonal or one-off.

This isn’t limitation—it’s protection. It guards my oil. It preserves my joy. It keeps my yes honest.

I’m also giving myself permission to observe.

Sometimes faith looks like watching before moving. Listening before speaking. Letting clarity form.

A Slower, Truer Way Forward

As this new year begins, I’m choosing long-term faithfulness over constant availability.

I want my life to be rooted. My work to be intentional. My giving to be sustainable.

I want to pour from oil that has been formed, not forced. To honor my calling without confusing it with every good idea. To let hobbies remain joyful. To let my career reveal God’s goodness. To walk in purpose at God’s pace, not mine.

Not everything deserves a yes.

And sometimes, saying no—with discernment and trust—can be one of the most faithful acts we make.

May this year be marked not by hurry, but by depth.

I’ll likely go live on Substack soon to unpack this further. There is so much more to say.

I’ll write to you again soon ~

Always love,

Chérie

p.s., if you’d like to support my writing this year or send over a quick thank you, here’s the link to buy me a coffee

More like this:

Teaching I can across after posting this, might help solidify some more:

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Please excuse the audio and stuffiness. :)

I’ve had my fair share of friendship breakups and heart pains. I’ve been the bad friend, the entitled friend, the absent friend, the rude friend, the fun friend, the hiking friend, the Jamaican friend, the list goes on. But in this season, I want to be more intentional with the people God blesses me with.

So I’m following His example. Friendships take time to grow (maybe not 3 years for us but still some time). Jesus values friendship.

The message on friendship is this — allow people to grow with you, share in what you’re doing for the Kingdom of God, but hold these people loosely. Allow them room to get to know you, show you who they are, walk away from you, or walk with you.

Being equally yoked isn’t only for romantic relationships. It’s for friendships too.

Some friendships will remain shallow, some will be solely transactional, others will grow deep. It isn’t our responsibility to force it either way.

John 15: 15 - 17 , John 6: 65 - 69 → reflect on how they mirror and how they reveal the meaning of friendship. In the upper room, in Jesus’ final teaching to the disciples, is when he calls them ‘friend’ for the first time.

I’ll have a better mic by the next live, promise.

Anywho! Let me know your thoughts on this in the comments or reply to me directly, I’d love to hear from you.

~xo, Chérie

Thanks for reading Beneath the Flowers! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.

follow @heywildflwr on instagram for more ~

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it really means to be made whole.

Not just “okay,” not just functioning, not just smiling for the group chat—but made whole in the way God intended.

After the deconstruction.After the ground shakes beneath us.After everything that isn’t in God’s will for us falls to the floor like broken dry wall.

And honestly?

There’s a version of “healing” the world keeps trying to sell us—quick, curated, and optimized for aesthetics. A kind of wellness that photographs well: the matcha, the morning routine, the self-care rituals…

And then…there’s wholeness.

Wholeness feels more like a slow, sacred construction zone.A victory lap after you’ve already crossed the finish line.A rebuilding that doesn’t rush you.A restoration that never asks you to pretend.

It’s God whispering, “You’ve come this far healing on your own, now let Me make you whole.”

Wellness polishes. Wholeness rebuilds.

The world is obsessed with “wellness”. And listen, as a consultant in the wellness industry—I get it. I love a good candle, a good walk, a good skincare routine. I’m not against softness. And I’m not against tending to the body God gave me.

The difference is wellness is often about managing the symptoms. And we say “whole-person health” but we’re missing the key.

Wholeness is about meeting the Great Physician.

Wellness smooths the surface;Wholeness goes underground.

Wellness helps you cope;Wholeness teaches you to heal for real.

And I’ve learned you can meditate, journal, hydrate, and stretch—but if Christ isn’t the Cornerstone, the house still leans.

Wholeness starts where pretending ends.

There came a point when I realized I was editing myself into someone who looked “well,” but didn’t feel well—trying to self-improve my way into freedom. Like putting fresh flowers in a room with cracked walls—pretty, but still crumbling underneath.

Jesus doesn’t ask for polished.He asks for present.

Wholeness begins the moment you stop auditioning and start opening the doors you’ve kept locked.The rooms labeled “don’t enter.”The boxes stacked with old stories and inherited fears.

It’s choosing truth over image.Depth over aesthetic.Formation over performance.

Wholeness isn’t something we manufacture.It’s something we yield to.

It’s when Christ steps over the threshold of your home with that steady knowing, calm and patient saying, “Let’s start here.”

You can’t be made whole by the same sources that broke you.You can’t be renewed by affirmations that can’t resurrect.You can’t build a new life on old scaffolding.

Wholeness begins when we let Jesus anchor the architecture of our soul.

To be whole is to be reoriented—mind, heart, identity, desires.It’s a renovation that touches everything:

Your thoughts learn to align with truth.Your heart learns to trust again.Your identity learns to stop performing and start resting.Your soul learns that safety isn’t found in hiding—it’s found in Him.

Renewing the mind is like clearing out a garden.

Some of the thoughts I carried looked like wild vines—entangled, overgrown, wrapping themselves around everything. Beliefs I never questioned. Wounds I decorated instead of treated.

And the Holy Spirit, the most patient Gardener I’ve ever known, began to pull them up—bringing questions to the surface like:“Why does this hurt still shape me?”“Why do I keep returning to what drains me?”“What do I really believe about God… and about myself?”

Renewal feels like that:a tender uprooting,a holy re-planting.

Not rushed.Not forced.Just intentional.

Wholeness doesn’t hurry you.

If anything, it asks you to slow down.Because God cares more about depth than speed.

Some days I feel like freshly poured concrete—wet, fragile, needing time to set.Then other days I feel like a stained-glass window He’s piecing back together—shards becoming my story.

No matter the metaphor, the truth is the same:Wholeness takes time, but it never wastes it.

Wholeness looks like…

Presence not perfection.Surrender not strength.Cultivated peace not curated peace.Not pretending you’re healed,but letting Jesus heal what you no longer hide.

It’s a process.

Wholeness begins when the scattered parts of you gather again—not because you forced them into place,but because you let God’s Love hold them long enough to reshape them.

So if this resonated with you, consider this your gentle reminder: God is not done building in you.Thank you for being here ~ reading, healing, unlearning, and being made whole.

If you want more reflections like this in your inbox—more heart talk, more Scripture-rooted soul care, more gentle invitations toward wholeness, subscribe below. Let’s keep growing toward wholeness, one surrendered layer at a time. 🤍🏡

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There’s a kind of faith we inherit—and then there’s the faith that grows in the soil of our actual lives.

In the storms, in the waiting rooms, in the still moments when God becomes more than an idea.

One is acquired.One is experienced.Both have purpose.Both shape us through sanctification.

But to grow, we have to recognize the difference.

How We Learn

There’s a season for taking in truth. Where we are studying, absorbing, listening, understanding.

And there’s a season for walking out what we’ve learned.

I get weary of faith that only lives in the mind.

Faith that knows theology but hasn’t had to cling to God through the night.

There is nothing wrong with head knowledge, but Scripture reminds us:

“…we defeat the accuser by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.”

Revelation 12:11

Our testimony requires lived experience.

Maybe it’s time to experience life or maybe it’s time to dive deeper into the Word.Wherever you are, God will meet you.

Acquired Faith

Acquired faith is the faith we receive through:

teaching, tradition, culture, community, repetition

It’s the faith that says,“I believe because I was told God is true.”

It’s something steady to lean on while we learn to stand.

Paul honors this kind of faith when he reminds Timothy of the faith that lived in his mother and grandmother before him (2 Timothy 1:5).

Acquired faith gives us vocabulary.It gives us story.It gives us belonging.

Faith can be passed down like a torch, carried through generations.

Experiential Faith

Experiential faith forms when God steps into our narrative — when the words on the page breathe, when the promise becomes personal.

It’s the faith that says,“I believe because I have seen God move… in me.”

This is the faith of:

* Jacob wrestling (Genesis 32:24–30)

* David crying out yet still trusting (Psalm 34:4–8)

* The woman who reached for healing (Mark 5:25–34)

* Thomas touching the wounds (John 20:27–29)

* And You surviving the thing you thought would break you

Experiential faith doesn’t live in the mind —it roots itself in the heartand becomes muscle memory.

It grows through encounter.Through surrender.Through seasons that stretch us.

Like my mom always says in times of hardship, “keep the faith” — now I know what that means having lived through some things.

Why the Difference Matters

Acquired faith can inform you.Experiential faith will transform you.

Acquired faith can teach you who God is.Experiential faith lets you taste and see (Psalm 34:8).

One builds knowledge.The other builds intimacy.

And intimacy is where love grows.

When the two work together, that is where we find deep intimacy with God what James describes as:

“Perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”James 1:4

Someone else may need to hear this.

The Growth

This isn’t a rejection of acquired faith — it’s the invitation to let it deepen.

Sometimes that depth comes gently.Sometimes it comes through heartbreak.Sometimes it comes through miracles that nobody else saw but you.

I know because I’ve lived it.

Every lived moment becomes a stone of remembrance built on the true cornerstone, Christ.

6 Ways to Deepen Your Faith

and experience a life with God, fully.

* Sit With God for at least 5 Minutes

No agenda.No perfect words.Just breathe and say,“Lord, I’m here and I invite you in.”Presence is where intimacy begins.

* Read Scripture Slowly

Choose a single verse.Read it out loud.Ask: “What does this mean for me today?”Let it move from information to encounter.

* Notice Where God Already Showed Up

Think back over the last 24 hours.A kindness.A provision.A moment of peace.Write down one thing.Awareness awakens gratitude — and gratitude awakens faith.

* Take One Small Act of Obedience

Surrender is the first step, obedience comes after.

Step out on faith with that thing God placed on your heart.

He is in the details.

* Get Outside and Touch Creation

Look at the sky.Feel the air.

Touch grass.Remember you are alive on purpose.Romans 1:20 says creation reveals God — so let it remind you.

* Tell God How You Actually Feel

Not the polished version.Not the church answer.The truth of your heart.Real relationship requires honesty.

Your Life Is Sacred Ground

You don’t have to force a breakthrough...

Just keep showing up — and you will find that God was already there.

If this met you and you feel led to sit Beneath the Flowers a little while longer, here are a few ways to do that:

Free Spirit Youtube Playlist - full of good teaching and good tunes on what it means to be a free spirit in Christ.

Buy me a Matcha – and be a special part of Coffee Shop and Write Saturdays as I continue to write. From God, through me, to you.

The Flower Before The Fruit — An interactive poetry book I created. It follows the journey of a young woman through a series of stories amongst metaphors and rhymes meant to depict portions of life, love, and everything in between. Each poem is crafted to either inspire, encourage, or provide a point of deep self-reflection.

Whether you support tangibly or just sent over a virtual smile, I’m grateful. This space is for you.

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Thank you for sitting with me beneath the flowers,

where we grow, heal, and discover truth with a heart of love and eyes set on eternity.

I offer this space as a shelter for your becoming.A place where silence speaks through written and spoken word,as we gently tend to what’s buried beneath the surface—with the Holy Spirit as our guide.

If my work resonates with you or offers support,I’d be grateful for every share, like, or comment.

Because in the right hands, even the smallest seeds bloom.

Matthew 25: 35-40

Luke 6: 27-31

It should go without saying — we should care for ourselves first to ensure that we have enough to give. My prayer is that we function, as members of society, more like conduits and less like reservoirs.

Receiving and giving. Caring and being cared for. Loving and being loved. Reciprocity. Compassion. Trust.

Jesus taught that the greatest commandments are to love God and to love others. When we intentionally move beyond our daily routines to care for people in our community—whether by serving at a food pantry, helping someone learn English, or opening our home to children in need—we’re living out that calling and taking part in the Great Commission.

Our heart posture is the main thing.

Thank you for sitting with me beneath the flowers,

where we grow, heal, and discover truth with a heart of love and eyes set on eternity.

I offer this space as a shelter for your becoming.A place where silence speaks through written and spoken word,as we gently tend to what’s buried beneath the surface—with the Holy Spirit as our guide.

If my work resonates with you or offers support,I’d be grateful for every share, like, or comment.

Because in the right hands, even the smallest seeds bloom.

Relief Efforts for Families in Jamaica: If you’d like to support my family and the communities they are a part of directly and are in the Atlanta area, send me a message.

Here’s the link to the original article where I navigate what it means to hope, again.

~ Chérie

Thank you to everyone who tuned into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.

In 2021, I got a tattoo on my wrist that reads “I surrender.”

Every time I pray, I look at it and remember a season where surrender felt less like peace and more like death.

Not a graceful release, but a tearing away of control I thought I needed to survive.

It’s painful when you’re taught:

* Be in control

* Depend on no one but yourself

* Your life is in your hands, and one wrong move could ruin it all.

This is the breeding ground for anxiety.

The desperate grip on outcomes. The fear that if you loosen your hold, everything will fall apart.

We often imagine surrender as a soft yes—hands lifted, heart open, a quiet yielding.

That might be the start, but biblical surrender requires more.

It’s not passive.

Surrender is Active

It is faith and obedience moving in rhythm.

It’s I’d rather do this, but I’m being led by God to that.It’s laying down your will and picking up your cross.

Jesus doesn’t call us to drift into His will—He calls us to follow Him (Luke 9:23).

A daily choice.

An intentional laying down of our own way for His.

The Before and After

A friend asked me, “How do you know when you’re walking in surrender, instead of resisting?”

Simply,

Pre-surrender feels like anxiety.Post-surrender feels like dependence.

It looks like:

* Pulling on the strength of God in every situation

* Considering Him in every decision and before every opportunity

* Intentionally abiding

* Intentionally yielding

* Intentionally moving where He leads

God doesn’t ask us to know the outcome. He already does.He simply asks us to complete the next thing.

As long as you’re obedient with the next thing, you’re walking with God—not against Him.

Holy Breadcrumbs

As we walk step by step, He reveals what’s next.

Think of it as holy breadcrumbs leading you home. 😌

Step by step, season by season.

Here’s the paradox of surrender:

Things will continue to happen—good, bad, and otherwise

But as long as you are walking alongside the One who knows every chapter of your story, you’ll find peace that surpasses your understanding.

It demands trust in the unseen and obedience to His Word, even when feelings pull you in another direction.

Loosen Your Grip

God will begin to move in your life as soon as you loosen your grip on it.

I believe this is what the Lord means when he says, in Matthew 16:25: "For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."

When you realize it’s not by your might, or your will, but by the Spirit of the Lord — you’re walking in surrender.

Surrender feels like sitting in God’s presence—alone, but never lonely—while opportunities swirl around you.

Opportunities are flying all around you.

God places them, He removes them.Our role is to discern the season.

Sitting in His presence while He has His way.

This choice is active.It’s a daily decision to be led by God.

Sacrificial Surrender

Sacrificial surrender means some things will walk with you for life, and others will come only for a season.

A healthy detachment from everything we can see with our eyes.

Letting things remain only for as long as God intends.

Hold everything loosely.

My Undoing

For years, I refused to give God what was already His—my life.

The result? Anxiety.

Anxiety so heavy it broke me.

Adrenal fatigue, acne, sickness, exhaustion all from living in survival mode.

The pandemic revealed it all.

Once I began practicing biblical surrender, the anxiety lifted.

What was left was dependence—a rhythm of release, rooting me in the power of God rather than my own limits.

I believe every ailment has a spiritual root, but that’s a conversation for another post.

God is Faithful

He holds all things together.He knows the way when we cannot see it.

So today, tonight, this afternoon, wherever you are in the world—don’t drift.

Surrender actively— with intention, with trust, with love.

Because when you loosen your grip, God can finally have His way.

He’s waiting on you ~

Thank you for sitting with me beneath the flowers, where we grow, heal, and discover truth with a heart of love and eyes set on eternity. I offer this space as a shelter for your becoming. A space where silence speaks through written and spoken word, as we gently tend to what’s buried beneath the surface with the Holy Spirit as our guide. If my work resonates with you or offers support, I’d be grateful for every share, like, or comment. Because in the right hands, even the smallest seeds bloom.

Dig Deeper: Journal Prompts on Surrender

* Where in my life am I gripping tightly to control, and what fear is driving that grip?

* What daily practices help me choose surrender over self-reliance?

* Where do I sense God inviting me to trust Him right now, even if I don’t have all the answers?

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When God speaks — I listen.

That quiet whisper, just loud enough for me to hear.

For me, it’s not always full sentences — and it often doesn’t make sense in the moment.

Around the time of this video, I was deep in prayer and reflection with God about finances, money, and overall wealth — both tangible and intangible.

It had been a couple of weeks since setting my intentions on understanding how God sees these things and during this trip it became extremely clear.

I believe there is a spirit behind everything. Especially those things we don’t quite understand. There are spiritual governments that oppress God’s people.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him (Colossians 1:16).

I believe some of creation the LORD left a mystery — on purpose. Then, through His kindness, he reveals what we need in the moment we need it.

After getting back to my hotel room from the restaurant, I turned on YouTube on the hotel room TV and immediately saw an old series my Pastor did on finances… here’s one part. This encounter was completely divine.

Thank you for sitting with me beneath the flowers, where we grow, heal, and discover truth with a heart of love and eyes set on eternity. I offer this space as a shelter for your becoming. A space where silence speaks through written and spoken word, as we gently tend to what’s buried beneath the surface with the Holy Spirit as our guide. If my work resonates with you or offers support, I’d be grateful for every share, like, or comment. Because in the right hands, even the smallest seeds bloom.

Always love, Chérie ♡