BeTempered

What starts with a fifth a night and a recliner slowly becomes absence. Jerry Wilson was still providing, still present in the house, but slipping further away behind the glass. His story does not begin with a polished plan to change. It begins with a daughter asking hard questions about death, a desperate prayer whispered in a Kroger parking lot at midnight, and a baptism that changed everything in a single breath.

In this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Jerry to walk through the full arc of his story. Childhood mentors and the missing pieces they left behind. Moving to Ohio. Marriage, homebrewing culture, and a career that kept rewarding him even as his presence at home faded. Jerry shares how small nudges began stacking up until they forced a decision he could no longer avoid.

The turning point came at 3 a.m. when a stranger named Thomas prayed over him and spoke identity instead of shame. That moment cracked something open and made faith feel possible instead of performative. Jerry describes waking up sober after baptism with no craving, grieving the loss of old circles, and choosing practical obedience to stay steady. Taking a pay cut to be home. Saying yes to discipleship. Serving every week. Writing prayers down to track daily provision and answered prayers.

Jerry also opens up about what his family faced next. Night terrors. Spiritual warfare. Fear inside their own home. He shares how prayer brought peace back into their space and how church shifted from behavior modification to true belonging.

With Dan and Ben guiding the conversation, this episode digs into rebuilding trust after addiction, letting faith fuel discipline, and how community becomes a lifeline when willpower runs out. They talk identity, mentorship, resilience, and the quiet power of showing up early to serve people you love.

If you are wondering what the next right step looks like, this conversation is for you.

Subscribe, share this episode with one person who needs it, and leave a review to help others find stories that heal.

Listen more at https://betempered.com
Support the show at https://patreon.com/betempered

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

What if one sentence could change the entire direction of your life?

When Chief Kurt Holden’s foster dad introduced him as “my son,” something finally settled. After years of instability and separation, that moment of belonging became the foundation that carried Kurt from a fractured childhood to leading public safety at Wright State University and earning selection to the FBI National Academy.

In this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr walk with Kurt through the chapters most people avoid. Being split from his brothers in foster care. Learning to scan rooms for danger instead of approval. Losing stability during his senior year and facing homelessness. Kurt shares with honesty and grit how college became shelter before it became education, and how stability turned survival into excellence.

Law enforcement was never just a career path. It was shaped by childhood moments when uniformed strangers were the only ones who showed up when everything else fell apart. That calling deepened through marriage and faith. His wife saw leadership before the title and helped him move from inherited belief to a lived, grounded relationship with God.

Kurt is unflinching as he talks about reconnecting with his parents. Addiction’s emptiness. A father’s humor returning just in time for goodbye. The intentional decision to fund both funerals as an act of love, release, and closure. The conversation also sits with the difficult truths of foster care. Lunch tickets that single kids out. Gifts that come with receipts. The long, uncomfortable work of forgiveness.

From there, the focus shifts to leadership, wellness, and what lies ahead at Quantico. Psychology. Resilience. Practical tools that matter. A commitment to bring real support back to the officers he serves. Through it all, fatherhood reframes the story. The prayers Kurt once believed went unanswered became an invitation to become the dad he needed and to build the home he always longed for.

If you have ever felt defined by one chapter instead of the full arc of your life, this conversation offers perspective, truth, and grounded hope.

Listen to this episode of BeTempered, share it with someone who needs it, and support the show by subscribing and joining the community at
https://betempered.com

https://patreon.com/betempered

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

Some stories do not get easier with time. They shape who you become.

On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Superintendent and educator Mike Derringer. What begins as a conversation about leadership in education quickly turns into something much deeper. Mike shares a life marked by early momentum and purpose-driven work that was later shaped by unimaginable loss. He and his wife buried two daughters, years apart, and still found a way to lead, love, and serve with integrity while carrying grief that never fully leaves.

Mike walks us through his journey from agricultural education and FFA leadership into county-level service, where his Educational Service Center exists to reach students who often fall through the cracks. MD units. Nonverbal autistic classrooms. Behavior coaching. Alternative placements. Speech therapy. Mental health supports. He also names a quiet crisis many do not talk about. When kids cannot access pediatric care, they cannot attend school consistently. When they cannot attend, they cannot learn. His vision is clear. Invest locally. Build partnerships. Treat education, health, and community as one system with kids at the center.

The heart of this episode comes when Mike speaks as a father, not an administrator. He describes grief not as something you conquer, but as something you carry. A sharp rock that never disappears, but one you learn to walk with. He refuses to hide it. Instead, he honors all four of his daughters by choosing to live fully in the middle. The space between birth and death. The daily choice to stay present.

He talks openly about marriage as an action, faith when anger would be easier, and the strength found in what he calls a strand of three. That same belief shapes his leadership. Titles are tools, not identities. Kindness is a decision. And service still matters, even when your own heart is healing.

This episode is for anyone walking through loss, leadership, or quiet perseverance. It is a reminder that resilience is not born in comfort. It is forged.

Listen now, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who needs hope.

Visit https://betempered.com

Support the show at https://patreon.com/betempered

And tell us this. Where has your life asked you to be tempered?

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

What happens when the plan you built your life around stops working, and you choose not to walk away?

This week on BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Jeff Schmidt, Dan’s brother, for a real conversation about discipline, identity, and staying grounded when life forces a pivot. Jeff’s story begins on the farm and carries through football, education, and leadership, shaped by hard work, humility, and learning to serve when recognition disappears.

Jeff talks about chasing a college football dream at Dayton, embracing his role on scout team, and the moment a simple question from his dad gave him permission to step away from the family farm and chart a new path. He opens up about leaving college the first time, returning years later with clarity, and finishing strong with a 3.8 GPA.

The conversation moves into leadership and education, where Jeff shares what it was like stepping into administration, facing doubt, and learning to lead by focusing on the one student who needed him most. That same discipline carried into his personal reset through 75 Hard, dropping weight, building structure, and committing to challenges like the RAIN Ride and the Air Force Half Marathon.

Faith runs through the entire episode, especially through the “coffee bean” principle Jeff lives by. Do not let the environment change you. Change the environment. From family routines to daily habits, this episode is about staying grounded, choosing discipline, and becoming who you are called to be.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between who you were and who you’re becoming, this conversation will hit home.

🎧 Listen to BeTempered:
https://betempered.com

🔥 Support the show on Patreon:
https://patreon.com/betempered

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs a push forward and leave a review to help more people find the show.

What hard thing are you choosing next?

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

What does it look like to coach for something bigger than a scoreboard? In this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Tyler Luce, a sixth grade social studies teacher and head varsity baseball coach at National Trail, to talk about leadership that lasts longer than a season.

Tyler’s story begins in a blue collar home shaped by consistency, accountability, and family members who showed up when it mattered most. Those early influences, along with an uncle who left a lasting mark on his community, helped shape the way Tyler approaches teaching and coaching today. Whether he is in the classroom or the dugout, his focus stays the same. Build people first and let results follow.

Inside the school, Tyler goes far beyond curriculum. He teaches goal setting, personal responsibility, and character, while also helping lead Hope Squad, a peer based program designed to identify mental health concerns and encourage students to speak up before things spiral. He and the guys talk about the unique pressure students face in a social media driven world, especially young girls dealing with comparison, image, and unrealistic expectations. Tyler explains how consistency and trust from one steady adult can make all the difference.

On the field, he breaks down the culture he has built at National Trail and the decision that surprises most people. He does not cut seniors. If a player commits, works, and supports the team, they belong. Even if their only moment is senior night, it matters. Tyler also opens up about his own health journey, from battling self doubt to building discipline through fitness and routine, and how that process reshaped both his mindset and leadership style.

Faith runs quietly through everything he does, not as a catchphrase, but as a daily choice to serve, lead with humility, and stay grounded in purpose.

If you care about youth sports, mental health, and leadership that actually changes lives, this episode is for you. Listen now, subscribe for more conversations like this, and share it with a coach, teacher, or parent who is shaping the next generation.

Find more episodes at www.betempered.com
Show support and catch every episode LIVE at www.patreon.com/BeTempered

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

Before Christmas rushes past, we press pause to ask better questions. What truly mattered this year? Where is God leading the mission of BeTempered? And how do we show up for people in ways that outlast trends, algorithms, and noise?

Hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr reflect on a season of growth, clarity, and calling, and they officially welcome the newest BeTempered team member, Shawn Ruebush. This conversation shares why the team chose conviction over convenience when adding to the mission, because passion for people is what turns content into connection and vision into action.

We revisit humble beginnings and meaningful milestones, including more than one million views across platforms and over 7,000 hours watched on YouTube. Not as trophies, but as proof that real stories still cut through. The center of gravity has shifted fully toward faith, service, and community, and that clarity is shaping what comes next.

The team unpacks upcoming initiatives including monthly gratitude walks designed to model simple, repeatable habits for resilience, training missions that build grit and teamwork, and men’s groups in partnership with the YMCA with hopes to expand. Each effort is built to get people out of their heads and into each other’s lives.

The focus on schools deepens as well. Too many kids scan empty bleachers. A principal who shows up, a teacher who attends a recital, a neighbor who mentors. These moments change trajectories. The conversation offers practical ways to get involved, resist labels, and make presence the strategy.

Landing just before Christmas, the episode closes with reflections on the memories that still shine and the generosity that brings the season back to its core. Hope, humility, and love made real through action.

If this moved you, help one more person hear what they need. Visit betempered.com and join our free community on Patreon at patreon.com/betempered. Your presence matters. Who will you show up for this week?

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

What if the hardest detours in life turn out to be the exact preparation you needed for a purpose you didn’t see coming? Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Dr. Craig Hewitt, a husband, father of five, and Navy trained dentist whose path runs from a small Catholic school to Parris Island, to Hawaii, and then back home to build a practice anchored in trust, gratitude, and faith.

Craig opens up about moving in the middle of high school and how that shift shaped his sense of identity. He talks about the orthodontist who encouraged him at the right moment and set him on the path to dentistry. Craig also explains why the Navy’s residency and boot camp rotations gave him the speed, skill, and empathy to care for anyone who walked through his door.

Hawaii changed his view of leadership. One month before 9/11, Craig arrived on Oahu and met Colonel Adams, a commander who believed leadership was measured by presence. Training through tear gas at 2 a.m., rucks at sunrise, and handshakes that told the truth. Craig reflects on readiness, the weight families carried after the towers fell, and the pride of serving Marines during a time of uncertainty.

The story shifts when he comes home. Craig bought a local dental practice on a handshake. He upgraded to digital X rays, wrote handwritten letters to invite patients back, and grew with humility while raising a young family, including surprise twins. He talks about keeping a business grounded in gratitude, faith, and consistent effort.

Craig closes with the questions that matter now. What identity looks like once the original goals have been met. How to mentor the next generation. Why small acts like thank you notes, learning names, and staying reachable create a durable practice and a resilient community. Anyone who values service driven entrepreneurship, Navy dentistry, small town leadership, and raising a family without losing your center will find a blueprint in Craig’s journey.

betempered.com
patreon.com/BeTempered

If this episode moved you, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your favorite takeaway. We read every word.

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

What happens when a child cannot focus in class because the lights were shut off at home, there is no food in the cupboard, or their clothes have not been washed in a week. On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Eaton Community Schools Success Liaison Allie Shafer to shine a light on the non academic barriers that quietly shape whether a student learns or simply survives the day. Allie shares what her role looks like in real time as she listens without judgment, builds trust with families who have every reason to be cautious, and works through the maze of agencies, benefits, and applications to make sure heat stays on, meals stay consistent, and kids have clean clothes to wear.

The conversation highlights a struggle that affects far more than people realize. Laundry becomes a barrier when loads are stolen, coin machines cost more than families can spare, and kids wear the same outfit day after day until the social pressure becomes overwhelming. We walk through real solutions that communities can create together, including vouchers, church supported laundry rooms, mobile wash setups, and volunteer wash hours that bring dignity and confidence back to children who need both.

We also spotlight programs that are changing lives. Shoes for the Shoeless brings a level of care that you can feel the moment a child steps into a pair of shoes that finally fit. Christmas for Kids reaches up to a thousand children across the county with support from churches, neighbors, and local businesses that refuse to let kids go without. Throughout the conversation Allie models courage as she advocates for families in difficult situations and still protects the boundaries she needs to care for her own children.

If you have ever wondered where you can make a real difference, this episode gives you a clear place to start. Sponsor a laundry load. Clear a lunch balance. Cut a lawn. Bake a birthday cake. Share this episode with someone who can unlock resources or create space for ideas that matter. Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr invite you to listen, reflect, and take action.

Connect with Allie Shafer, Success Liaison for Grades K through 5 at Eaton Community Schools, at [email protected]

Listen at betempered.com or support the show at patreon.com/betempered

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

What makes someone worth following when no one is watching. In this leadership roundtable, that question sits in the center of the table as stories unfold from classrooms, locker rooms, offices, and quiet early mornings when no one else is around to see the work.

On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with guests Brian Ballenger, Mark Broeker, and members of the Wayne County Area Chamber of Commerce WC Leads Cohort to unpack leadership that is not about titles or platforms, but about service, alignment, and consistency when the spotlight is off.

The conversation traces the path from a high school teacher who walked away from a 20 year career to a coach who drilled preparation and accountability into every practice. Their stories show how example beats rhetoric, how standards shape culture, and how small daily choices quietly forge character over time.

Together, the group explores why alignment often works better than chasing balance. Instead of trying to slice life into even pieces, they talk about naming non negotiables like faith, family, service, and health, then letting those priorities drive the calendar. That framework gives leaders a steady place to stand when it is time to enforce standards, make hard calls, protect culture, and still hold compassion for the people involved.

You will also hear practical insight on how to have tough conversations, how to tailor feedback so it actually lands, and how to judge leadership by the culture it creates rather than the title on a door. The WC Leads cohort shares what it looks like to grow as young professionals across healthcare, housing, education, finance, and business while staying rooted in Wayne County.

Integrity in the dark shows up too. The early workouts no one sees. The quiet reading before the day starts. The text or note of encouragement that costs a few minutes but compounds into trust over time. Challenges like 75 Hard become case studies in ownership, grit, and the kind of self discipline that teams and families naturally follow.

If you care about servant leadership, real accountability, and practical tools you can use with your team tomorrow, this conversation will sit right beside you in the work.

Connect with BeTempered and the hosts:
BeTempered website: https://betempered.com

BeTempered on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/betempered

Learn more about WC Leads and the Wayne County Area Chamber of Commerce:

WC Leads program: https://www.wcareachamber.org/wcleads.html

Wayne County Area Chamber of Commerce: https://www.wcareachamber.org

If this conversation encouraged you, follow BeTempered, share it with a friend who leads, and leave a quick review. When you support the show and check out these links, you help more people find stories of real faith, resilient leadership, and communities that grow stronger together.

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show

A locked door at 3 a.m., a voice that asked one piercing question, and a church parking lot where a bag of drugs met a trash can. Tim Clowers’ turning points do not read like safe, polished faith stories. They read like real life. On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with the Knoxville chef and creator behind Cook It With Tim to unpack an extraordinary arc, from addiction and anger after his brother’s death to Bible college, missions across 66 countries, and a calling that keeps reshaping itself through service.

Tim brings us into his years in Southeast Asia organizing large leadership conferences, including the tragic Manila hotel fire that claimed 88 attendees. What followed was a masterclass in accountable compassion, coordinating restitution, sending bodies home, and personally visiting 86 families to grieve, listen, and help. We explore how forgiveness, especially toward a father who finally showed up, can remake a man from the inside out, and why choosing presence over constant travel changed the trajectory for his own kids.

Back in Tennessee, a catering shift ended with pans of fresh food in a Corolla trunk and a simple, brave decision: drive under the bridge and feed whoever was there. That night birthed Juniper Worldwide, a nonprofit rooted in Isaiah 55:13 and focused on consistent Friday outreach. From a living room Bible study to a driveway smoker during COVID to millions of followers drawn by barbecue and everyday encouragement, Tim shares how digital ministry and community outreach can live under one roof without losing the plot. He also opens up about launching a church, the pain of closing it, and the pastoral wisdom that helped him follow what God was clearly blessing.

Along the way, you will hear about blended family lessons, being introduced as “my dad” for the first time, and a surprising moment on a country music stage when an old prophecy that he would speak to thousands came true. Food, faith, and service meet here without pretense. If you have wrestled with addiction recovery, forgiveness, burnout, or purpose, Tim’s story offers a grounded path forward: show up, serve well, and let the blessing lead.

Connect with BeTempered and the hosts:
BeTempered website: https://betempered.com

BeTempered on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/betempered

Connect with Tim and Cook It With Tim:
 Website and recipes: https://cookitwithtim.com

YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CookItWithTim

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cookitwithtim

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cheftimothyclowers

Link hub for all platforms and resources: https://linktr.ee/cookitwithtim

Amazon storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-5fdccbaf

If this conversation gave you hope, follow BeTempered, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review. When you support the show and check out these links, you help more people find stories of real faith and resilient lives.

Send us Fan Mail

Support the show