BeTempered

What happens when a successful executive's carefully constructed facade finally crumbles, revealing decades of addiction, pain, and self-deception? Doug Macias knows this journey all too well. For more than 20 years, he was trapped in cycles of alcoholism, drug abuse, and emotional isolation. His story is raw, unflinching, and proof that even the most outwardly successful lives can mask unimaginable pain.

In this episode of BeTempered, hosted by Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr, Doug takes us back to the fracture point of his parents’ divorce at 16. That painful event set him on a path of chasing acceptance through partying, material possessions, and chemical escapes. With brutal honesty, he shares how his intelligence and charm often earned him second chances after reckless and dangerous behavior, but those missed opportunities for accountability only fueled his downward spiral.

Everything began to change on December 28, 2016—Doug’s sobriety date after a destructive holiday binge. From that moment, he embarked on the difficult, non-linear path of recovery: admitting powerlessness, accepting help, walking into 12-step meetings, and rebuilding life step by step. He shares how recovery isn’t always straightforward—facing homelessness and hardships even after years of sobriety—but also how resilience, persistence, and faith transformed his life.

The most powerful part of Doug’s journey is his shift from isolation to connection. After decades of hiding behind walls, he discovered healing through community, faith, and service to others. Today, working in community development and openly sharing his story, Doug shows how helping others becomes the greatest form of self-healing. His testimony proves that no matter how far you’ve fallen, redemption is possible—one day, one hour, even one minute at a time.

🎙️ BeTempered isn’t just a podcast—it’s a movement. Each conversation with hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr uncovers stories of brokenness, resilience, and hope—reminders that transformation is possible.

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What happens when a life built on fear, alcohol, and self-destruction finally crumbles? On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Alan Bair to share a story that is as raw and honest as it is inspiring.

Alan grew up in a home overshadowed by dysfunction, where fear and insecurity became the lens through which he saw the world. Even with an elite prep school education and later an engineering degree, those internal struggles followed him into adulthood. When Alan discovered alcohol, it seemed like the answer he had been searching for. The noise quieted. The fears faded. He felt like he could finally be the person he wanted to be.

But what started as a solution quickly turned into a devastating cycle. Alcohol became the lock on a prison cell of addiction. His life unraveled into blackouts, broken relationships, and professional setbacks. Despite the outside image of success, inside he was sinking deeper into despair.

The breaking point came in 2010. Standing in a bar, Alan looked into a mirror and didn’t recognize the man staring back at him. In that instant of clarity, he knew something had to change. That moment led him to his very first AA meeting—a step that would begin a profound journey of redemption.

What makes Alan’s story so powerful isn’t just the decision to get sober. It’s everything that came after. Through faith, accountability, and relentless discipline, Alan transformed not only his inner life but also his physical body. From a 310-pound alcoholic struggling to get through the day, he became an ultra-marathon runner capable of enduring 75+ mile races through rugged mountain terrain. His physical renewal mirrored his spiritual awakening, as he built a relationship with God that brought him peace, purpose, and a new understanding of life’s challenges.

Alan speaks with conviction when he says: “You don’t have to dig any deeper. Nobody wants to cry out to God until they have to… but you can do that whenever you want.” His words remind us that surrender doesn’t have to wait until rock bottom—that transformation is possible the moment we’re ready to take it.

In this conversation, Dan and Ben dive deep into what true change looks like: the battles fought in silence, the courage it takes to start over, and the ways faith and perseverance can rewrite the entire story of a life. Alan’s testimony is a living example that our greatest struggles often become our greatest victories.

This episode of BeTempered is not just for those facing addiction. It’s for anyone who has wrestled with fear, doubt, or destructive patterns and wondered if it’s too late to change. Alan’s journey proves that no matter how broken things feel, there is always a way forward.

👉 Listen now at www.BeTempered.com

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Do you want me to also create a shorter condensed version of this for Spotify/Apple Podcasts descriptions (since they usually limit character count), while keeping this long one for the website?

You said:

mention the Rite of Passage he completed with dan

ChatGPT said:

Got it — here’s a much longer episode description that includes the fact that Alan completed a Rite of Passage with host Dan Schmidt, which deepens the connection to the BeTempered story:

What happens when a life built on fear, alcohol, and self-destruction finally crumbles? On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Alan Bair to share a raw, honest, and inspiring journey of redemption, transformation, and faith.

Alan’s story begins in a childhood home marked by dysfunction, where fear and insecurity became constant companions. Even with an elite prep school education and later an engineering degree, he carried those wounds into adulthood. When he discovered alcohol, it felt li

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What does it really take to defy the odds when nine out of ten startups fail? On this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr welcome Justin Bayer, founder of Welcome to College, for a raw and inspiring conversation about perseverance, setbacks, and finding meaning in the grind of entrepreneurship.

Justin opens up about his 15-year journey building Welcome to College, a company born out of a single transformative moment—a campus tour at the University of Dayton that changed the trajectory of his life. That moment sparked the idea for a platform that helps universities optimize their campus visit programs. But the road to impact was anything but easy.

From day one, Justin’s story has been filled with both triumphs and trials, embodied most vividly in “Marv”—a retrofitted 1970s RV that became the company’s boldest marketing experiment and toughest challenge. Marv’s adventures included fuel line failures in rural Mississippi, confetti cannons misfiring at campus events, and even an “angel mechanic” who drove three hours on a Sunday to rescue the stranded team. These experiences pushed Justin to the brink, but also strengthened his resolve and revealed the importance of resilience, faith, and unexpected relationships.

Central to Justin’s philosophy is MARV—Meaning, Accomplishment, Relationships, and Vitality—a framework rooted in positive psychology that guides his approach to life and business. For Justin, accomplishment is not simply about crossing the finish line; it’s about embracing the messy, difficult, and often humbling process of getting there. As he puts it: “If you have meaning and relationships, accomplishment becomes possible, and then you can feel fully alive.”

This conversation dives deep into what it means to persevere when the odds are stacked against you. It’s about discovering purpose in the struggle, holding onto faith when things fall apart, and realizing that at the end of the day, people may not remember your words or actions—but they’ll always remember how you made them feel.

If you’re an entrepreneur, a leader, or anyone trying to live with more purpose, Justin’s story offers wisdom and encouragement that will stick with you long after the episode ends.

Catch this episode—and every episode—live at patreon.com/betempered
, and explore more at betempered.com

Learn more about Welcome to College at https://www.welcometocollege.com/

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What makes a leader? Is it the title, the position, or something deeper? In this powerful episode of BeTempered, host Dan Schmidt sits down with Tucker Perkerson to unpack the experiences, challenges, and defining moments that shaped his leadership journey—from a small-town childhood in Atlanta to making an impact in both education and corporate America.

Tucker reflects on the lessons learned growing up immersed in sports and community, and how those early values carried forward into his adult life. He shares the heartbreak of suddenly losing his high school football coach, a man who had been a pillar of guidance and support. The loss became a turning point, shaping how Tucker views mentorship and legacy. After his college football career came to an end, he faced the daunting question of what to do next. It was a single question from his father—“Who’s had the greatest influence on your life?”—that steered him toward a career in education, leading to twelve fulfilling years as a teacher, coach, and eventually, a school principal.

The conversation takes a surprising turn when Tucker describes his leap into the corporate world, joining Chick-fil-A’s team at the national level. He gives listeners a rare insider look at what makes the brand thrive—not just its customer service reputation, but the “operator model” that prioritizes local ownership and direct accountability. Tucker explains why being closed on Sundays is more than a faith-based decision—it’s a strategic move that supports employee well-being, retention, and long-term performance.

One of the most compelling moments in the episode is when Tucker and Dan Schmidt recount their shared experience completing the Rite of Passage—a grueling 24-hour endurance challenge designed to strip away comfort and push participants to their absolute limits. Side by side, they endured exhaustion, pain, and the mental battles that come with extreme adversity. Tucker recalls physically collapsing at the finish line, unsure if he could take another step, until a Green Beret friend leaned in and said, “You just gave everything.” That simple statement reframed the entire experience, turning it into a powerful metaphor for leading with heart, faith, and relentless commitment.

From there, the discussion moves into Tucker’s day-to-day approach to leadership and life: intentional morning routines, making career decisions that prioritize family, and embracing gratitude as a guiding principle. He and his wife, Jennifer, have a shared vision for their legacy—one rooted in generosity. As Tucker puts it, “When people look back on Tucker and Jennifer, if there’s one word, we want it to be generosity.”

This episode isn’t just a conversation—it’s a roadmap for anyone looking to lead with purpose, overcome challenges, and live in a way that inspires others.

🎧 Experience the full story of grit, gratitude, and growth—visit BeTempered.com to listen now.

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Some stories are about survival. This one is about transformation.

In this unforgettable episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr welcome Ray Mackelson—a man whose life was once confined by invisible walls. For decades, anxiety ruled everything. Ray couldn’t drive more than an hour from home without facing crippling panic. Normalcy, freedom, and adventure felt like distant dreams—out of reach, beyond reason, and completely unattainable.

But then, something changed.

Through a combination of nutrition, lifestyle adjustments, and a powerful reconnection with faith, Ray began to feel the smallest cracks in the wall that had surrounded him for so long. What started as subtle shifts in mindset and health grew into something far greater: a deep inner strength that had been buried beneath fear for years.

And then came the moment that would test him like never before.

Ray—who once feared even a simple road trip—decided to fly alone to Georgia to take part in a 24-hour mountain endurance event surrounded by strangers. What’s more? He didn’t just show up. He was chosen to lead.

The trek was brutal. The mountain was unforgiving. And Ray’s knee gave out early. Every step became agony, and quitting would’ve been understandable—expected, even. But Ray didn’t stop. And the power of his perseverance rippled through the team.

As one teammate put it:
 “If Ray isn’t quitting, none of us are quitting.”

What unfolded on those trails wasn’t just a test of physical endurance—it was a living illustration of how our deepest struggles can become our greatest testimonies. Ray’s pain became purpose. His brokenness became a beacon.

This episode isn’t simply about overcoming anxiety—it’s about how vulnerability, faith, and courage can be the catalyst not just for personal healing, but for leading others to breakthrough. It’s a reminder that true peace doesn't always mean the absence of pain, but rather discovering purpose in the midst of it.

Have you been living in limitation? Are there mountains in your life you’ve avoided even thinking about climbing?
Ray’s story doesn’t offer clichés—it offers hard-earned hope. It’s the push we all need to ask: What might happen if I surrender my fear and step forward anyway?

Pull up a seat. Grab your coffee. Get quiet.
 This conversation might just change the way you see your own story.

—

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Strength isn't pretending everything's fine—it’s having the courage to be real about what’s hard.
On Episode 64 of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr open up about how this podcast has become a journey of transformation through vulnerability—for themselves and for the community it’s building.

From a young age, especially as men, we’re taught to suppress emotion, to “man up,” and to keep going no matter what. But that kind of emotional isolation can be a heavy burden. In this episode, we challenge that narrative head-on—because the truth is, vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s a doorway to healing, connection, and real strength.

We dig into powerful biblical truths like Galatians 6:2 ("carry each other’s burdens") and 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ("when I am weak, then I am strong"), and we share stories that prove how honesty changes lives—from Kevin Love’s mental health advocacy to a recent men’s rite of passage event where Dan witnessed how 18 men sharing their stories led one man to seek help and enter rehab.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about opening up—or wondered if your story matters—this conversation is for you. Your vulnerability might just be the permission someone else needs to begin their own healing journey.

Learn more at www.betempered.com
Let’s keep choosing courage over comfort—together.

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How do you find strength when your world is crumbling from the inside out?

In this powerful episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr sit down with Susan Preble, whose story of perseverance through hidden trauma, heartbreak, and healing will leave you breathless and forever changed.

Susan’s journey began with tragedy—when she was just 18 months old, her family car was T-boned, leaving her mother in a coma and shifting the course of her life. As she grew, the trauma deepened: childhood sexual abuse, isolation from scoliosis treatment during her teens, and a painful family move that triggered a years-long battle with anorexia.

But her most painful battle came later—a 20-year marriage to a man struggling with severe pornography addiction. Susan shares how she lived in two realities: the public image of a functioning family and the private chaos of emotional pain. “I often felt like an imposter in my own life,” she confesses, navigating life as a registered nurse, a cancer survivor, and a mother of two—all while her marriage unraveled behind closed doors.

Through every chapter, Susan’s faith became both a lifeline and a battlefield. She doesn’t offer easy answers—only raw honesty about what it means to question, wrestle, and cling to hope in the darkest of seasons. “It wasn’t just about knowing Christ came and died,” she explains. “It became about a personal relationship.”

Whether you’re navigating addiction in your family, carrying unspoken pain, or struggling to reconcile your faith with suffering, Susan’s story is a testament to the power of bringing hidden wounds into the light—because once exposed, they lose their power to define us.

Listen now at www.betempered.com or find us on all major platforms.
You’ll be challenged. You’ll be moved. And you won’t walk away the same.

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Some friendships are built on shared victories, bruises, and sweat—on long bus rides and harder losses. But the deepest friendships aren’t just remembered; they return when we need them most.

In this deeply moving episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr reconnect with Jeff Swanson, a former University of Dayton teammate and roommate whose story is both heart-wrenching and hope-filled. What begins as a conversation between old friends quickly transforms into a profound exploration of grief, resilience, fatherhood, and the transformative power of mental toughness.

Jeff opens up about one of the darkest chapters of his life: losing his father to cancer and the silent storm of depression that followed. On the outside, he appeared strong—working, functioning, pushing forward. But internally, he was unraveling. The moment that snapped him out of the spiral wasn’t some dramatic intervention—it was something bizarre, almost absurd. In the middle of a therapy session, his counselor fainted, and Jeff had to help him. The moment of role reversal jolted something inside: “If I can help someone else while I’m at my lowest, maybe I’m stronger than I think.”

That realization sparked the beginning of Jeff’s transformation. He made the decision to stop relying on medication, not out of recklessness, but out of a renewed commitment to taking ownership of his mental and emotional healing. He leaned into gratitude. He embraced daily discipline. And over time, he began rebuilding his life from the inside out.

But this isn’t just Jeff’s story. It’s also the story of how one man’s decision to change himself ended up changing the lives of many—including Dan’s. At a high school football game, Jeff casually mentioned a program called 75 Hard. That brief conversation planted a seed. Dan took on the challenge, pushed himself mentally and physically, and ultimately, that experience became the foundation for the Be Tempered podcast itself.

Together, the three men reflect on how discipline and vulnerability walk hand-in-hand—how strength is born not just in lifting weights or showing up every day, but in daring to be honest about where you are and what you’re struggling with. Jeff's journey illustrates a core theme of Be Tempered: the idea that pain, when faced head-on, becomes purpose.

One of the most powerful moments in the episode comes when Jeff reflects on being a father—something he almost couldn’t imagine during his darkest moments. “I look at my son… I put him down to sleep and I’m like, I can’t believe I’m blessed to have this child.” It’s a moment of clarity, of awe, of deep and quiet joy that only comes after walking through the fire.

Throughout the episode, Ben offers sharp insights that ground the conversation, reminding listeners that we are never the only ones going through something. And Dan, now years removed from that high school football game conversation, speaks from a place of gratitude—thankful not only for the friendship but for the chain reaction it caused. The podcast itself, this community, this movement—it all began with one vulnerable conversation.

As Ben reflects, “You never know who’s watching you. You never know who you’re going to impact by one decision you make.” That one decision—choosing vulnerability over silence, courage over comfort—can ripple into lives you may never see.

This isn’t just an episode about football or mental health or personal transformation. It’s about what happens when we stop pretending we’re fine and start showing up as we are. It’s about how true strength is forged—not in comfort, but in fire.

Listen now at BeTempered.com or wherever you get your podcasts. And remember: your toughest challenges might be the very thing that awaken your greatest gifts—not just for you, but for everyone around you.

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What does it take to break through the walls of selfishness we’ve built around ourselves? For Dan Schmidt, it was a brutal 24-hour journey through the mountains of Georgia that stripped away every comfort and convenience of modern life.

In this powerful episode, host Ben Spahr leads a raw conversation with host Dan Schmidt about his experience in The Rite of Passage, an endurance challenge led by former Navy SEAL Chad Wright. This wasn’t just another test of grit—without electronics, timepieces, or any knowledge of their route, nineteen strangers walked non-stop through punishing terrain and sweltering heat. The rules were deceptively simple: keep moving, keep eating, keep drinking. But within that simplicity, something extraordinary unfolded.

Dan arrived carrying the same anxieties any of us would feel before such an ordeal, quietly sizing up his teammates and wondering who might falter first. His assumptions were turned upside down when Ray, a tattooed artist from Manitoba battling a bad knee, was appointed team leader. What initially looked like a disadvantage became their greatest blessing. Ray’s visible struggle and unwavering determination became the beacon that pulled everyone forward. “If Ray keeps going, there’s no way in hell we’re not going to keep going,” Dan reflects.

Over roughly 46 miles of mountains, rainforest-like paths, river crossings, and technical terrain, the team faced relentless mental challenges—propaganda blaring through speakers for hours, yelling instructors, and the constant lure to focus on personal discomfort instead of shared success. In the end, Dan came to a profound realization: “Ray was Jesus,” he says, voice trembling. “I thought I could do it, but could I have done it without seeing his pain, his struggle?”

What started as a personal mission to prove something—to himself and to others—became a humbling lesson in selflessness, faith, and the power of community. As ROP Team 12 became only the second group ever to finish with no quitters, they discovered that true strength is never just about individual capability but about collective commitment to a shared purpose.

Whether you’re facing your own mountains or simply need inspiration to take that first step toward change, this conversation about pain, perseverance, and purpose will remind you that growth doesn’t happen in comfort—it happens in the fire.

Listen now at www.betempered.com and take your first step forward today.

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What does true freedom really look like in our daily lives? In this thought-provoking Independence Day episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr welcome guest Brian Ballenger for an intimate, wide-ranging exploration of how personal discipline—and the courage to confront our own weaknesses—shapes genuine independence.

Freedom, as the trio discovers, isn’t simply about doing whatever we want or escaping life’s responsibilities. Instead, it’s rooted in self‑regulated integrity: the quiet resolve to make and keep commitments to ourselves when nobody’s watching. Brian explains, “Habits are developed through routines, routines create patterns, and patterns become lifelong habits,” reminding us that our true character is revealed not by what we say, but by what we consistently do—moment by moment.

Dan, Ben, and Brian offer candid, often humorous stories about their personal journeys. Dan opens up about overcoming his ice cream addiction—joking, “I was like a crack addict, except it was pints of vanilla bean.” Ben shares how he turned down a lucrative job opportunity in Texas to maintain his children’s stability and connection. Brian draws from decades of experience guiding men toward purpose, illustrating how small daily disciplines can lay the foundation for a life marked by calm rather than chaos.

Their conversation reframes what freedom really is: the greatest threats to our independence often aren’t external, but internal—our own lack of discipline, aversion to discomfort, and misaligned priorities. It’s a powerful paradigm shift: recognizing that the oppressor we most often need to overcome lives in our own excuses and comfort zones.

They also challenge the popular idea of “work-life balance,” arguing instead for a mindset of alignment—making decisions that honor your deepest values in each moment, rather than trying to evenly distribute time and energy. This shift offers a more sustainable and meaningful approach to living in sync with what matters most.

Brian also brings a faith-based perspective on perseverance, drawing on his work at Brighter Path, Inc. and his leadership role at Whisenhunt Construction, Inc. in Richmond, Indiana. He emphasizes that discipline isn’t just a tool for self-improvement—it’s about stewardship of the life, talents, and relationships we’ve been entrusted with. As Brian powerfully states, “We have a fight before us every day—are we going to run from it, or realize that yes, it’s here, but by God’s grace, I’m going to run into it and overcome?”

Whether you're struggling with self-control, feeling stuck in harmful habits, or longing for a deeper sense of independence, this episode provides practical insights and encouragement to live with intentionality.

Explore more compelling conversations at betempered.com, and discover Brian Ballenger’s mission to help others build healthier, purpose-driven lives at Brighter Path, Inc. (www.brighterpathinc.com) and through his work at wcirichmond.com.

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