Better On Paper

Welcome back to the only podcast on the world wide web approved by MAAD for treating Seasonal Affective Disorder.

We're two weeks post-Super Bowl and we don't know what to do with ourselves. Cam has gone down the Christopher Nolan rabbit hole and it's a mind fuck. We talk coaching hires (6:00) and discuss potential landing spots for the hottest (and "hottest" *cough cough Jimmy G*) quarterbacks on the market heading into the offseason (25:00). Also Eric Bieniemy is an all-timer for recreating the Obama handshake sketch from Key and Peele. 

I'd write a longer episode description but we're charged per character now. Happy Birthday Method Man, Wu-Tang is for the children.

Welcome back to the only podcast in the world that is legally allowed to own a ferret in the state of California. I'd first like to wish LeVar Burton a very happy birthday. Somebody get Joey Bosa a copy of Reading Rainbow on VHS, he needs it.

The Super Bowl happened, the Chiefs won, Cam is a sore winner. That's the gist now let's get into the rest.

Cam gives his thoughts on the Super Bowl, we talk Pat Mahomes ankle (3:00), TC3 puts on his tin foil hat over games being rigged, Kev has thoughts on Nick Siriani's face (7:00), Cam gets wet (14:15), TC3 makes the case for Super Bowl Saturday (15:00), we liked the halftime show (19:15), apparently Kanye is missing, the grass was awful (like, really bad) (25:30), we give out our end of season awards (31:10), TC3 gives out a couple of extra special awards (56:30), and we cap off the season with the Better On Paper Of The Year Award (BOPOTY for short) (1:00:00)

Thank you for sticking with us through another season of good, clean, rigged NFL football. We'll be back this offseason with new content so please keep listening. Please.

Welcome to a special Superb Owl edition of the only podcast in the continental US to claim a direct bloodline to the royal family of Hawaii (on my mother's side).

This week we've got our old friend Tyler back in the (virtual) studio as we break down all the wagers for the upcoming week. 

We start out hot with some casual cucking as Cam is once again reminded of his fantasy football inadequacy. We break down how we think the Super Bowl will go (5:30), plot twist: nobody is really happy, we get into some prop bets on player performance (16:30), we make our picks for some of the more exotic props (28:30), Kev has boomer takes on how to use a phone, TC3 is anti-voicemail (the correct take), and we don't play Guess That Ticket Price because the Super Bowl isn't for the common man :'(

We're back next week with our end of the year Better On Paper Of The Year Awards (BOPOTYA for short) so tune in to see what 2nd year plater Cam picks for rookie of the year this time!

Welcome back to the most energy efficient podcast on the internet, a point my dad made because nobody listens to it :(

We start off this episode with Cam recapping how his Dry January went and his plans for WET February. Kev and TC3 agree this season was an anomaly and should be shot into the sun. We recap the tragic Niners-Eagles game (4:00) and TC3-stradamus strikes again as the Niners enter this off-season with a non-drama-free quarterback room, as was foretold in the prophecies. TC3 exercises his 1st Amendment right to call a bank robber a bank robber (14:00) and we recap the Chiefs-Bengals game. Kev explains why he thinks people need to chill the fuck out on social media (19:30) and TC3 agrees. We break down the most recent coaching news (31:00), TC3 takes our temperature on some hot topics as we enter a cool week (47:30), and we play a lightning round of Guess That Ticket Price: Pro-Bowl Edition (55:00)

As always, if you follow us on twitter @Better_OnPaper and DM us the secret code BOSA, we will send you a special gift that definitely isn't just a picture of Joey Bosa looking absolutely Cro-Magnon

Welcome back to the only NFL podcast 9/10 arborists recommend, and 1/10 arborists says is hosted by a guy who used too small a slice on too big a mud pie...

 We've got our old friend Will back in the studio filling in for Kev and he brings some serious analysis to last week's games, next week's games, and the eventual release of Sonic 3 and Morbius 2 (It's Morbin' time). We kick this episode off with an update from Cam on how Dry January is going, and Cam gets a little too personal with his questions for Will. 

We recap last week's games, and discuss what Patrick Mahomes' injury may mean for the Chiefs going forward. The gang gets heated over whether every NFL team should have a domed stadium, or if weather is just a fact of life (12:00) ,Kev calls in to give his 2 cents (26:00). We get into our picks for the Championship games, we come out as a firmly anti-scalping podcast (both kinds), and Cam and Will discuss in depth the nuances of blu-ray ownership as well as their favorite Sonic films. We also discuss Derek Carr's departure from the Raiders and what it means for him as well as the Raiders as they look for a new "The Guy" at quarterback.

If you think I'm phoning it in this week, I'M NOT.

Welcome back to the Wildest Wildcard Weekend Podcast episode this side of the Wild West. This week had it all: gunslingers, vape gods, cool nicknames, and a kicker that had ONE JOB!!! 

This week we finally get to shoot the entire NFC South into the sun, we recap the wildest of card weekends, Cam's lock of the week comes through with the Niners, Southwest Airlines is still nice because alcohol, Justin Herbert is still better looking than Trevor Lawrence (6:00), we break down the Dolphins - Bills game (20:00), including vape-gate (Mike McDaniel is so cool), we dance on the Vikings' grave (25:30) and discuss if Danny Dimes is once again The Guy in New York, and we dissect how a man who is paid exclusively to kick a football through the uprights just refuses to do his job (35:00).

Next we make our predictions for the Divisional Round (41:00), Cam shows an utter lack of respect for the Jaguars, and we all show an utter lack of respect for the Cowboys (as they deserve). Kev phones it in for Guess That Ticket Price (we don't blame him), and TC3 gets Cam all riled up (again).

Once again, if you enjoy these episode descriptions just know it is the highlight of my day, every Thursday at 1 am as I furiously edit because I forgot to all day Wednesday.

Happy Birthday Mayor Pete!

Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my own predictions... TC3 takes a victory lap this week on his egregious preseason prediction that the Detroit Lions would be a 9-win team this season (who's egregious now????) and enjoys an ice cold beer on the recommendation of Dan Campbell. The gang discusses whether this could be it for Old Man Rodgers in Green Bay, or if he wants one more go (5:00).  Mark Davis thinks it's weird the team that's moved 3 times since the 80's has trouble having their own fans at home games (9:45), the Bills were playing for something bigger this week (16:00), TC3 is anti-tanking (23:00), Cam shows Tua more love (26:00), Kev takes a victory lap over the Cardinals and Kliff Kingsbury's job (31:00), the boys make their Wildcard Weekend picks (38:15), Cam locks up his lock of the week (51:30), we discuss the head coaching chopping block briefly (53:15), and we wrap up with some College Football Playoff talk and the results of the Gang's fantasy football league (1:00). 

If you enjoy these episode descriptions please let us know. I spend more time writing these than I do preparing for recording most episodes. :' )

Before we get into today's episode we'd like to take a moment to pray for Damar Hamlin. We recorded this week's episode before the Bills game on Monday and everyone here at Better On Paper is keeping him in our thoughts.

This week we recap week 17 around the NFL, the Titans stink, Jared Goff is good (!), and some Fantasy Football bad blood spills between Cam and TC3 (6:15). We discuss if Daniel Jones could be the Guy for New York (13:00), we reach consensus that the Cleveland Browns should be fired into the sun (24:00), TC3 drops a hot take (I'm talking Taco Bell Fire Sauce spicy) that Mike Tomlin is a better coach than Bill Belichick (37:00), The Vikings are frauds (*sad Kirk noises*), Kev gets honest with the boys, we make our week 18 picks (45:30), Cam goes on the record, we play Guess That Ticket Price (55:00), and talk College Football Playoff and the madness that is Bowl Season (57:30).

Christmas came with many eventful games and Santa made sure to leave us some tea to sip in the wake of this weekend. Zach Wilson? Done. Derek Carr? Gone. Hackett? Fired. Ravens? Clinched. Packers? They back. Brock Purdy? He brocked. Enjoy Kev and Cam discuss this weekends actions and the many implications that resulted. Plus check out the 6 games we got different heading into Week 17.

Welcome back and hopefully you kept your lead this weekend. Cam, Kev & TC3 are back to discuss a crazy weekend in football and come from behind wins. Kev celebrates the Niners clinching the NFC West by week 15. Does that first half make the Vikings frauds? Or does that second half make them one of this years scariest teams? Does Cam hate the Lions? Bills Mafia? TC3, Trevor Lawrence? We look to next week with 5 games up in the air between Kev and Cam. Sending us home for the holidays is another round of Guess That Ticket Price (the lows may shock you).