Between Here and Benin

So, I had this realization the other day. I was just sitting at my desk and looked up at the bulletin board I keep above my computer, still full of notes from my doctoral days, and there it was, the ten phases of transformational learning proposed by Jack Mezirow in his Transformative Learning Theory glaring right at me.

And then I had a lightbulb 💡 moment. Wow, I’m right in the middle of the last two phases:

Phase 9: Building Competence and Confidence — gaining confidence as new behaviors or thoughts become more familiar.

Phase 10: Reintegration — adapting the new perspective into one’s life, making it part of how you think or act regularly.

Now, these phases don’t necessarily happen in order, but the research says they’re the hardest ones to go through. And let me tell you, the research is right, because I’m living it right now.

So I thought, well, maybe I should talk this out. Because that’s what I do. And maybe some of you are in these phases too, in your own way, even if you’ve never named them.

For those who don’t know, transformational learning has basically been my life for the last two years. It’s what I studied, it’s what I researched, it’s what I lived while doing my doctorate. And when I look back, I can actually see myself moving through the phases, not in a straight line, but hitting those different moments that Mezirow and his colleagues outlined. And now? Now I’m stuck…or maybe just sitting…in reintegration.

Reintegration is where you’re supposed to take all the knowledge, all the perspective shifts, all the growth, and weave it into your actual life. Not your academic papers or your dissertation, but your real, everyday life. The one with kids, with work, with bills, with everything else you’re carrying. And honestly? Easier said than done. It sounds straightforward when you read it in theory: take what you’ve learned and apply it.

But living it. Living it is another thing entirely.

And I think that’s where support matters most. In my research, I found this over and over again: you need people. You need community. You need some kind of space to process, because otherwise it’s just you, floating around with this big identity shift that you don’t quite know what to do with. And I can’t help but wonder, what if higher ed actually focused on that? Not just delivering knowledge or handing you a diploma, but walking with you through this messy reintegration stage.

When I started my program, my focus was clear, or at least I thought it was. I was going to change the educational system in Benin. That was it. I had a plan. I imagined creating an organization that could support students, teachers, and communities. I thought this degree would give me the skills to make it happen. But as I went through the program, things shifted. My focus shifted. I became more interested in the process itself, in how transformational learning works, because I realized it’s not just something that happens in a classroom. It happens in life. It happens when you move to a new country, or when you homeschool your kids, or when you take on a role you never imagined you’d have. It happens all the time.

And the funny thing is, most of us don’t even realize it when it’s happening. Unless we name it, we can’t see it clearly. But once you do see it, once you say, “Oh, that’s what this is,” it changes everything.

Now, here’s where it gets personal. My doctoral program was completely online. I never set foot in the Mary Lou Fulton School at Arizona State University. I never met my professors in person. I was lucky enough to meet two of my classmates, but I only knew the others through Zoom.

And when it all wrapped up, when I defended my dissertation, made my revisions, submitted the final copy…that was it.

Done.

No graduation ceremony for me, by choice. No closure. Just… over.

And frankly? It felt like being dropped off a cliff. One day, I was deep in edits and revisions, living and breathing my dissertation. The next day, silence.

Sure, I got the surveys asking, “What did you think of the program? What are you doing now?” But that was it. No one checked in to ask, “Hey, how are you navigating this new identity?” No one said, “How’s reintegration going?” It was more like, “Congratulations, Doctor. Good luck out there.”

And that’s tough. Because, as Dan Butin (2010) explains in The Education Dissertation: A Guide for Practitioner Scholars, which we read in our first semester:

“Now complete, your dissertation process allows you to sail off on a very different kind of journey” (p. 148).

That journey is one that involves those last two phases of transformational learning, and it’s a phrase I certainly did not fully understand until the degree was in my hand and the dissertation was finished.

Now, let me back up for a minute, because there was one thing that made my program doable. And that was community. Around my second semester, January of 2022, I joined what we ended up calling the Goldilocks Community of Practice. This was a little group of us who just found each other, and we decided to meet twice a week. We did homework together, we had real discussions, and we supported each other. We even recorded some of our sessions to submit as assignments. And that community gave me what the official program didn’t.

But here’s the thing. Once we all graduated, the goal was gone. The whole reason we were meeting, to get through the doctorate together, disappeared. And people started trickling away. Some went back to their jobs. Some leaned into the degree for promotions or leadership roles. And that makes sense…life keeps moving. But the community lost its center. A few of us still talk, but it’s not the same. And the wheels started turning in my head: what if universities created something like that, but official? What if support communities continued after graduation, so reintegration wasn’t something you had to stumble through alone?

Because reintegration is not automatic. It’s emotional. It’s confusing. Some people step into it easily; they’re ready to claim the “Doctor” title and run with it. Others, like me, wrestle with it.

I still find myself asking:

What do I actually do with this degree?

How do I live into this identity?

Where do I take my ideas so they don’t just sit in a notebook?

And I’ll be honest: it can feel really lonely. I don’t work in a university. I don’t have an academic community around me. I homeschool my kids, I manage a household, and I work on entrepreneurial projects. I’ve been called a thought leader, which is flattering, but also frustrating, because there’s no map. I have ideas that I know could be useful, ideas about education and transformation and community, but finding a place where those ideas can grow? That’s the part where I’m stuck.

And if I’m being really honest here, online programs don’t help with that. Sometimes they feel like a numbers game. Load up the students, get them through the modules, and hand out the diplomas. In-person programs naturally create connections because you’re in the same room, bumping into people in hallways, and grabbing coffee after class.

Online? None of that happens unless someone builds it on purpose.

And most programs don’t. Most rely on the learning management system, the LMS, to do the work. But an LMS isn’t built for connection, or at least the ones that I have been a part of have not. It’s built to organize content, keep the grades in one place, host the modules, and track the assignments. That’s it. And yet outside academia, in the world of professional courses and the creator space, communities are popping up everywhere. It’s where people gather, where they stay motivated, where the learning actually sticks. Why hasn’t higher ed caught up?

Through all my time in the online education space, I’ve come to believe that online programs should be harder to design than in-person ones, because connection doesn’t happen naturally online; it has to be created. And yet so many are designed the exact opposite. If universities really cared about transformational learning, they’d invest in that. They’d make community the centerpiece, not an afterthought.

Without it, you end up with students like me: graduating, sitting in phases nine and ten, feeling a little lost, a little frustrated, and a lot alone.

So maybe that’s where my work is now. Maybe I need to create the kind of community I wish I had. Because transformational learning doesn’t end when you get the diploma. That’s actually when it begins. That’s when you have to figure out how to carry those new perspectives, those new ways of seeing the world, into your actual life.

And no one should have to do that alone.

Ahh presentations…

I absolutely love giving presentations. Everything that is involved in the process of creating an engaging, interesting, and informative presentation.

When did this fascination with presentations begin? I know that I have always enjoyed being in front of a group of people, singing or acting. Okay, I haven’t done that much acting, but a much younger me spent many nights belting out lyrics to Disney movies and Broadway plays (I’m sure that my family could vouch for me!). While it might sound a bit vain, I like to hear my voice, which is one reason I love recording the audio or podcast version of this newsletter. Plus, the more important fact of providing another option for folks to listen to my content.

I suppose if I had to pinpoint when my interest in putting presentations together really began, it would be during my freshman year at Oregon State University in the required communications course. The final project was an oral presentation, no slide decks then, to the small class about a topic you were passionate about. I chose the ever-confrontational issue of banning books. I remember looking at my notes and presenting to the class, moving my hands in the air. I was hooked. From that time forward, I relish every time I have the opportunity to make a presentation.

One of my favorite presentations that I gave was in a job interview to work at Apple. Man, I worked hard on the slides. I watched numerous Apple Keynotes and even designed my own app icon graphics. What a blast it was! Sadly, while my communications skills were top-notch, my technical skills were slightly below what they were looking for. Nonetheless, the experience was awesome!

Maybe you have guessed, but for this week’s edition, I have decided to share my dissertation defense presentation with you. While there are some of you who might be curious about my research, I have yet to finish up a short synopsis to share. The next best thing, and especially because it has pictures, is the presentation that I made for the defense. I have recorded this using Loom, and while my real defense had animations included, this version does not. For those of you listening to the audio, I have included a link to the presentation in the show notes if you happen to be outside of Substack.

Transformative Learning Through Virtual Tourism: Exploring Africa in the Digital Space - Watch Video

So go ahead, pour yourself a cup of coffee, steep a cup of tea, or drink an ice-cold fizzy drink as you settle in for my dissertation defense presentation…complete with slides, stories, and plenty of heart.

Thanks for sticking with me and my stories!

Cheers…

Hello Dr. Debra Kouda 👋🎉

After 4 years, I finally made it through the process of earning a Doctorate of Education in Leadership and Innovation from Arizona State University!

Hooray!

You better believe that when my dissertation was uploaded into ProQuest to be published I felt like this!

One of the major highlights of my research dissertation, Transformative Learning through Virtual Tourism: Exploring West Africa in the Digital Space, was the importance of reflection as a mechanism for change. This is exactly what I have been doing for the last few weeks since finishing this momentous undertaking. Reflecting. And I thought I would share some of those reflections with you - aren’t you lucky!

(Note: this reflection ended up being much longer than I anticipated. But that is what the whole point of reflection is, isn’t it? I wrote about where my thoughts took me. If it seems like a lot to read, I encourage you to push play on the audio version above!)

We might as well start at the beginning. Throughout the four years and even more now, people have been curious as to why I pursued a doctoral degree in the first place.

I can provide this answer to you firsthand with my voice from four years ago when we had to introduce ourselves via a short video in one of the first graduate courses. This was the prompt:

Post a 2- to 3- minute video in the discussion board

Include the following:

* Give your name, current position and the topic of interest that you have been developing.

* Tell us one interesting fact about yourself that will help everyone learn about and remember you.

* Identify one thing you hope to gain in the class. Be specific about areas where you would like to improve your research skills (i.e., strategies for reading, writing, organizing, integrating research.)

And here was my response - it will take 2 minutes of your time:

If you did not feel like watching the video, here is a brief synopsis. My pie-in-the-sky goal was to completely overhaul the education system in Benin, and one of the first milestones I set for myself was to create a center for innovation, research, and practice. However, I realized that I lacked the theory, research, and leadership skills necessary to pull this off in a sustainable way. My initial curiosities were around the indigenous knowledge and history of education in Benin before colonialism. Looking back, I think a lot of this goal centered on wanting to create more jobs and economic development within the region that we call home in Benin. This is something to remember as you keep reading.

Side note here: My intro video intrigued a couple of my classmates in my cohort, and they tried to reach out to learn more. I ignored those initial emails. Did not even respond. However, I eventually realized that was a bit rude, and the single best thing that I did during the last four years was attend a Zoom call at the beginning of my second semester put together by those colleagues whom I had ghosted previously. That first call led to a second and then our little group, known as the Goldilocks Community of Practice, met twice a week for the rest of the four years. This all happened organically. It was not required by the program. But it was with this group of people that I learned more than in any of the courses. We worked on assignments together, had discussions about tough topics, helped each other through amazing and difficult times with our research, and so much more that words just can’t encapsulate. As I wrote in my dissertation acknowledgments, they made me a better person, researcher, leader, and innovator. If you are thinking about doing a doctoral program, especially one that is entirely done online, I could not recommend finding a group of people to go through it with together. It changes absolutely everything.

I also should mention that I am mainly focusing on my dissertation here, but along with this, I took two to three graduate-level courses each semester, including summer, for the last four years.

Within the doctoral program, we went through 3 cycles of action research. The beauty of action research as a methodology is that it is cyclical and involves ongoing iterations to find solutions and address practical problems. Action research is also rooted in its context, which makes it perfect for education. As you will see from my research questions in the first two cycles, I was primarily trying to remain in the vein of the initial purpose of my doctoral studies. I’m sure you would be very interested in seeing the results from the data, however, I’m just going to highlight the RQs.

Cycle 0 (Spring 2022)

Problem of Practice: My problem of practice is concerned with improving education in Benin by drawing upon the Indigenous education frameworks of the 42 ethnic groups who have served as the foundation of The Republic of Benin.

Purpose of the Study:

From the knowledge extracted from a previous set of interviews, I will create a series of virtual professional development workshops for teachers including,

* how to incorporate Indigenous frameworks into their teaching practices;

* how teachers can use reflection to enhance their use of Indigenous teaching frameworks in their classrooms.

Research Questions

The following research questions will guide the conduct of the study.

RQ 1: How and to what extent does implementation of “Project Indigenous Teaching Frameworks” affect teacher participants’ perceptions of their (a) knowledge about and (b) skills for implementing Indigenous teaching practices with their students?

RQ 2: How and to what extent does implementation of “Project Indigenous Teaching Frameworks” affect teacher participants’ perceptions of their (a) attitudes about and (b) self-efficacy for implementing Indigenous teaching practices with their students?

Cycle 1 (Fall 2022)

For this cycle of research, it would have been ideal for me to travel to Benin, however, it was not possible. So I had to make a few changes and look at my questions differently to try and gather some new data that would still have an impact on my problem of practice from Cycle 0.

Research Questions

RQ 1: How does a Participatory Action Research approach during an onboarding process influence the knowledge gathering of indigenous teaching methods?

RQ 2: How does the development of a Community of Practice (CoP) affect the decisions and self-efficacy of the participants to incorporate their indigenous teaching methods to enhance the solutions of community-based problems?

Spring of 2023 brought about our placements into a Learning Scholar Community (LSC), which grouped four or five of us with a professor mentor who would become the chair of our dissertation committee and work with us to get our dissertation finished. Due to some coercing from our little Community of Practice, for the first time in the history of the program, we - as doctoral students - had input into who we wanted to be in an LSC with. I have to say, we were pretty proud of this little achievement. We were a teeny bit rebellious in this group, at least, that is what we thought the rumors might have been around the in-person staff. Anyhow, this is the semester that I was introduced to my mentor and we started working toward putting together my doctoral proposal.

Now, throughout this time, I had been trying to get the educational center, which I had decided to call Ékodjayé off the ground. There had been a couple of investor pitches that I had made as well as speaking with numerous other folks who had begun non-profits. A colleague of mine in the program set me up to speak with one of his friends who had been an investor for many years, just to see if there were any tips or suggestions that I could glean from his knowledge. I explained to him the purpose of the educational center and my why behind doing it (economic development with our community in Benin), and he asked one very important question which I still have engrained in my memory…When people finish with your educational programs, will they have a job waiting for them?

The question stopped me cold. The answer was no. I had not thought that far. But you know the saying, when one door closes…and I started to think of ideas that would include the important element of a job. And then it hit me. Tourism. Although my husband and I started a tourism company in February 2020, it had a tough time getting wings due to the pandemic. What if we were to rebrand and start over? Now the question of how could I incorporate this into my doctoral research began percolating.

Over the years, I have taken trips abroad that have led me to some pretty incredible transformational experiences, working with cheetahs in Namibia and volunteering in Peace Corps to name a few. The hardest part for me always was coming back “home”, surrounded by friends and family who did not understand the experience I had just had or why my perspectives and worldviews had changed. I believe this is fairly common with returned Peace Corps volunteers, and after my service was up, I stayed in contact with fellow volunteers just to have the support to return to the “normal” world. And there was always some part of me that was curious as to how I could help those at “home” understand. In a way, it is somewhat selfish, because I wanted to expand my community on who I could talk to about those experiences and for them to have somewhat of an idea about what I was talking about and why my views were the way they were.

In May of 2023, I broached the idea to my mentor that I was seriously thinking about changing my dissertation topic. Not only did my original problem of practice not solve a problem that I was keen on having an impact on, I was having a hard time piecing it together in a way that made sense to me. And this was a big realization. You have to be 100% in on the topic that you are going to be researching because it will be your life for the next few years - so if it was seeming difficult to find the right research questions and intervention for the study now, it meant that a change was necessary. I thought this was going to be hard, but when I explained my thoughts about the new dissertation topic, my mentor said that my eyes lit up when I was talking about it, showing that this really was a good direction to be going in. She asked for a short write-up of what the purpose and possible intervention could be before we made the final decision to do the big switch. After many discussions with my little CoP and research into various topics, the new dissertation thesis all came together.

The change was officially made in July 2023 and I went about putting together my dissertation proposal which would be presented to my committee sometime during the fall semester. This change in topic was a huge shift for me, but I knew that it was the right one. It made for a lot of work, as most of my colleagues were continuing with their research from the first two cycles, I was pretty much starting all over. However, I was excited about diving into all the research to be done into the new ideas. I poured over articles and scoured books putting the proposal together. Although we had written longer papers for the other cycles of research, this proposal felt more like the real deal. It included three chapters which were

* Research Problem and Context

* Review of Scholarly Literature

* Methods

It was also during this time that I was able to select two additional members of my doctoral committee, bringing the total to three, a chair and two committee members. Their role in the doctoral process was to guide me through the dissertation process, ensuring academic rigor and scholarly development through support, feedback, and oversight. My mentor (aka the Chair of the Committee) spoke early on to our LSC group that when she started to see us as colleagues and not students we had gone over the bridge to doctor-hood.

Due to a new addition to the family in December 2023 one day before I was supposed to present my dissertation proposal, I presented my proposal to my committee in January 2024. The purpose of my study was

This study aims to create a transformative learning experience for foreign tourists visiting Benin within a brief travel period. My engagement in various travel experiences throughout the years has inspired ideas that could be integrated to make such a form of tourism viable. To support me in this undertaking, I will draw upon the principles of transformative learning theory and a newly formulated conceptual model of transformative tourism (Kouda, 2024, p. 14) with the following research questions

RQ1: What factors or processes make transformational learning possible for a tourist in a foreign country?

RQ1A: How does prior preparation and post-reflection impact the transformational experience?

RQ1B: How does the incorporation of “knowledge exchanges” impact the transformational experience?

RQ1C: How does the tour coordinator impact the transformational experience? (Kouda, 2024, p. 15)

Now this was a huge undertaking that I had signed up for, to find and give people a live tour in Benin. But I knew that the findings would be rewarding, and they ticked the boxes of providing people with a (hopefully) transformative experience and providing jobs to community members through tourism.

As the spring moved along my study was approved by the Institutional Review Board (IRB) of ASU the administrative body in existence to protect the rights and welfare of human subjects. Around the same time, after a doctor’s visit, I realized that my youngest son would not be able to travel to Benin because he was unable to get the yellow fever vaccine until 9 months of age, which put it in the last scheduled semester of the program.

Once again, I was at a crossroads.

I went into one of our Zoom CoP calls at the end of May somewhat distraught. I told my friends/colleagues that I thought I was going to have to stop my research until travel to Benin was possible. No way, I remember them saying. There has to be a way for you to do your research without delay.

Conversations with my peers left me with a light bulb moment, and then it was another talk with my mentor - about a year after the previous big change. In June 2024 I presented the idea to my mentor that I would take the research out of in-person and deliver a transformational learning experience to participants in an online tour of Benin. She agreed with the caveat that the two other committee members had to sign off on the change.

The next month was a whirlwind. I rewrote my purpose and research questions and laid out what the online tour (my intervention) would look like. Here were the revisions

The purpose of my study remains the same, with a shift in the location of transformative learning. This study now aims to create a transformative learning experience for tourists visiting Benin through a five-week online tour, drawing on transformative learning theory and the conceptual model of transformative tourism.

RQ1: What factors or processes make transformational learning possible for a tourist in a five-week online tour?

RQ1A: How do tourists’ prior experiences before the five-week online tour influence transformational learning?

RQ1B: What experiences during the five-week online tour contribute to transformational learning?

RQ1C: How do tourists’ reflections throughout the five-week online tour impact their transformational learning? (Kouda, 2024).

My proposed changes were accepted by my committee and the next step was to gain approval from the IRB.

My timeline was tight because I was going to try my hardest to research, analyze, and write up my full dissertation and graduate in December 2024, an awfully lofty goal but I certainly thought that I could pull it off! Wishful thinking is sometimes helpful in these situations.

I received IRB approval in mid-August and started looking for participants right away. The five-week online tour, the crux of my research, was set to begin the first week of September. Everything was falling into place. My husband traveled to Benin and was able to provide me with some new content that I would be able to share during the tour.

I guess I was fairly optimistic at this point that it would be super easy to find 8 participants for the online tour. However, this was not the case. Although I did have a rushed timeline, I was worried after a week that I would not have enough, as I only had 2 weeks to find participants before I had to begin the study. Everything ended up working out (thank goodness!) and I had 7 participants who completed all of their pre-tour interviews before the first official day of the tour. Really though, the pre-tour interviews are a real part of the tour, but in this context, I used them to gather one of my first sets of qualitative data.

By the way, I should have mentioned earlier, that I conducted a qualitative research study, meaning that I used holistic approaches to gather data, focusing on the rich narrative of the experience instead of a more qualitative (numbers-based) approach. One of the main reasons for this choice was that I was trying to understand a human experience, which is easier to understand through interviews and conversations. The data I collected came primarily from pre- and post-tour interviews, reflections from the participants during the online tour, dialogue of participants in the online community chat, and my research journal with notes and observations.

Moving on…the online tour was structured in the following way:

2 Zoom calls per week for 5 weeks (Monday and Thursday) - participants were not required to attend the Zoom calls. Replays were available in the online community.

An online community in Mighty Networks (similar to Facebook, but not attached in any way to social media) where I would post various prompts, and participants would submit reflections, and have access to replays of the Zoom calls that they had access to during the entire time of the tour

The first official day of the tour arrived and I was so nervous. I wanted everything to be perfect. And this is where it fell apart. I started the first Zoom call and it was a disaster. My computer setup was not right, I was having technical difficulties, and the kids were crying. There were three participants in that initial call, 2 of whom I did not know, and I just remember apologizing over and over. During one of the times that I said I was trying to fix the technical difficulties and turned off my video in Zoom, I almost started crying. I ended the call earlier than the hour it was supposed to be and just collapsed in tears.

What a mess it had been! My fear had completely taken over. I gave myself a few minutes and then started talking to my colleagues, and through the conversations realized that what had happened needed to occur for me to be successful with the tour. I had to remember that I was the one guiding the tour and that I was the authority on the content. I was certainly not an imposter. There also was the understanding that I had been very vulnerable in the Zoom, showing my participants I was 100% human!

From there, I knew that I was in charge, and decided to have the next Zoom session as the first official session. I put together my content and would you believe it - it was an amazing session there and going forward through the rest of the tour. When the tour was over, I remember commenting to my mentor, Wow! I never knew that research could be so fun! I had a blast giving the tour!

What I soon found out was that gathering the data was indeed the fun part. Up to this point, I had only done minimal data collection and analysis during my previous research cycles and during my master’s program about a million years ago (jk it was only in 2013, but might as well be a million!).

And here is where I ran into another hiccup. While I was conducting the tour, I became aware of the date November 1st. Why was this date important? Well, November 1st was the cut-off date for the graduate school at ASU to have defended your dissertation. A deadline that was hard for me to swallow. Graduation wasn’t until the middle of December, why was the deadline on November 1st?

November 1st. Okay, it’s gotta be done I told myself.

I finished the last post-tour interview on October 11th.

The clock was ticking.

October 2024 was stressful, to say the least. I began prepping my collected data for analysis. I decided to use thematic analysis to find the best answers to my research questions. This involved deductive as well as inductive in vivo coding so that I could capture the voices of the participants. Coding, if you have never done it before, is the process of labeling or tagging segments of data with descriptive keywords or phrases to categorize and organize information. It might look easy, but man - it is a skill that must get easier over time. And here, with the coding, is where I got stuck. I felt like had themes developing but I was having a tough time organizing my codes down to the right categories which would then nestle under my themes. At this point, October days just kept passing, and I couldn’t figure out what to do with my coding. I chatted with my mentor about my theme ideas and asked if I was going in the right direction, but all the codes. I had a tough time really seeing how it all fit together.

The November deadline came and went and I set myself up intending to defend my dissertation by the end of the fall semester. Yet, the analysis was still stumping me. Honestly, I felt like a failure and defeated because the majority of my cohort, including those in my Community of Practice, were graduating this semester. It was when we were “scheduled” to graduate according to the outline of the EdD program. But there I was. Stranded in a puddle of codes. Guess I was going to defend and graduate in Spring 2025.

The holidays came and went and I took a break from my data. I would sit down at the computer every once in a while and organize the codes in another manner (different versions of code mapping they call it) so that maybe it would finally click on what I was going to do. But the November 1st deadline and not graduating the previous December had me down. My little CoP, however, was still there for me. And we would chat at least once a week. Keeping the momentum going, even if it was a slow ooze.

At the beginning of February 2025, I received an email from my mentor outlining the new deadlines for the Spring semester.

March 28 - last day to schedule dissertation defense

April 14 - last day to defend and graduate in the spring semester

Deadlines have always been able to help me light the fuse, and this email did just that. I opened up my data and just started working. Putting it together. Figuring out the themes. Developing the categories. Writing.

The dissertation for us in the EdD program at ASU needed to contain 5 chapters.

* Research Problem and Context

* Review of Scholarly Literature

* Methods

* Results

* Discussion

I had already written the first two chapters for my proposal, and they would only need minor adjustments because my study had changed from an in-person to an online intervention. Chapter 3 had a good outline but basically needed to be rewritten to acknowledge the methods that were used during the study (post-tense). And chapters 4 and 5, they were brand new.

I began with rewriting chapter 3 because it was fairly straightforward. As we liked to say, chapter 3 is like a recipe. If someone wants to, they should be able to read your methods chapter and then replicate the study by following the instructions. Looking back, I’m not sure how I even started with Chapters 4 and 5. Within the program, this was the first time that I had written chapters 4 and 5. It was a bit daunting. Who am I kidding, it was as daunting as running a marathon. I did have exemplars of dissertations, but the problem here was every single one of the dissertations was different. There was not one chapter 4 or 5 that looked similar to another one.

I just started writing. A first draft of chapter 4 was sent to my mentor. It was returned with feedback. This went on for a couple of rounds, and in the meantime, I was writing up a first draft of chapter 5. On March 24th, 2025, I received an email from my mentor letting me know that I could go ahead and schedule my dissertation defense for April 14th. It was risky though, because that was the last day to have a defense for graduating in the spring. I rallied my other committee members and the dissertation date was set on the calendar. I had to have a copy of my full dissertation to my committee for them to read and review to prepare for the defense by April 4th. And my mentor had not even seen the first draft of chapter 5 yet. Gulp.

Even as I’m writing this, I honestly have no idea how I did it.

The two weeks that followed were a blur. Every spare moment I had I was sitting at my desk, staring at the words being written on my gorgeous Apple Studio Display (for those that are wondering, yes, this screen is absolutely amazing and totally worth the money). I probably drank way too much coffee, but I was taking regular walking breaks, and every time I would get back to the house, the walk would bring new ideas into my head about how I could write this or that.

Friday, April 4th arrived, and in the early evening, I sent out a copy of my full dissertation via Google Docs to my committee members. Woohoo! But I was not yet done. That night I also had to submit my dissertation through the formatting wizard that would me know if I had the document formatted correctly. This part was almost more frustrating than finishing up my chapters, but with the help of a friend and a last-minute Zoom call, I was able to move my paper from Google Docs to Microsoft Word and upload it to the wizard. This is when I felt one massive layer of stress fall away as my oldest son gave me the biggest hug asking Are you done writing Mom??!!

There might be a few of you reading this who are curious about the results of the study. As this is more of a reflection tale of my doctoral process, I won’t go through all the details here, but I still would like to share the major findings with you!

Here are the four themes:

* Where Design Meets Discovery: Shaping the Tour Experience

* The Interplay of Prior Experience and Motivation

* Reflection as a Mechanism for Change

* Transformational Learning Happens: Experiences, Reflections, and Mezirow’s Ten Phases

I found that transformational learning in an online tour IS possible, and this was done through the incorporation of five key strategies:

* There was flexibility in the learning design

* I used a participant-centered approach

* There were meaningful reflection activities

* I created a sense of cultural immersion through the use of photos, videos, original sound, and storytelling

* I allowed for ongoing feedback from participants and adapted the tour allowing them to guide the content

At some point, I would love to write more about this to a wider audience than just those in the academic sphere who have or know where to find my dissertation. It’s on the list of things to do (a book or article perhaps?).

So, where were we? I finished writing. I now had one week to put together my dissertation defense presentation. I love presenting. Putting together the presentation and speaking in front of a group of people, are two of my favorite things in the world to do.

April 14th dawned a beautiful sunny day. I put on a brightly colored dress and ran through my presentation one more time, making sure that all my ducks were in a row. At ten AM, my dissertation defense began. I was nervous, but also very excited to be presenting the research that I had designed, conducted, analyzed, and written about. Remember that disaster of a first day that I had with the online tour? Without that day, I don’t think I would have been as confident as I was on this glorious day.

I gave my presentation which was around 20 minutes or so, I never looked at the clock, and then it was time for questions from my committee. If anything, answering questions has always been difficult for me, but as it is with most things - the more you practice the better you get at it. I felt that I had improved at answering questions, which made me smile inside. Following the questions, the committee went into another Zoom room and discussed how I had done. This time is truly excruciating because I just thought about all the things that I could have done or answered differently. For the defense, I did have some friends watching, so it was comforting to be able to talk to them while waiting for the committee to return with the results…Pass or Fail.

After a time, the committee returned and said the words I think will stay in my head for a while…Congratulations Dr. Kouda! You have passed your defense with minor revisions to your dissertation. Wow. Wow. Wow. A huge smile appeared on my face and I really wanted to have a dance party. But I kept my composure, somehow!

I should probably explain the minor revisions to your dissertation part. When you defend, here are the responses that you can be given and their meanings:

Pass with no revisions - meaning that your dissertation is awesome the way it is and the committee members have officially signed off

Pass with minor revisions - the committee has a few minor tweaks they would like you to make before officially signing off

Pass with major revisions - the committee has some concerns and some major tweaks that need to happen before they officially sign off

Fail - I think we all know what this means

At the end of the Zoom for my dissertation defense, my chair (mentor) stayed with me to discuss the minor revisions to be made to my paper. I had less than one week to complete what needed to be rewritten and then be officially approved by my committee, making my deadline Monday, April 21st. Talk about nail biting. With these sorts of things, I always need at least a day to process the feedback and then how I would address it. Once again, somehow I was able to write and have feedback on my new revisions, and the revised dissertation was sent to my committee by the Friday before the deadline.

On the afternoon of Monday, April 21st, I received an email from my chair confirming that my dissertation was officially approved by all of my committee members. I was ecstatic! Pretty sure I did a bit of jumping and dancing - it was a moment to revel in my achievement.

But, I was not yet finished.

The last steps I had to complete were having my dissertation given the okay by the formatting wizards and then uploading it to ProQuest, the platform where all dissertations from ASU are published. Truth be told, I was tired by this point, while at the same time energized that I was almost finished with this process. Microsoft Word has to be my least favorite writing application for a multitude of reasons and I had not used it in years. I downloaded it to my computer just to complete the formatting process of my dissertation. I finally was able to work out all the formatting issues with my dissertation, and on Friday, April 25th, I uploaded my magnificent piece of work to ProQuest.

I’m not sure exactly what I did when I uploaded my document, but I’m sure that I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I was done. And I was Dr. Debra Kouda. I had achieved the goal of earning a doctorate that I had set out to do four years prior.

As I sit here typing those words I am getting emotional. The transitions from doctoral student to doctoral candidate, to doctor are real, and I am just now starting to embrace the reality of this title that I worked so hard to receive. I was lucky enough to have a mentor who started talking to me about this shift in identity about a year ago - otherwise, this part is not really discussed in any course. But it truly is an identity shift that will take a bit of time, at least for me, to fully own. I most certainly deserve it but I have to constantly remind myself that I am Dr. Debra Kouda, Doctor of Education in Leadership and Innovation.

And now it is time to put this new identity to work. What are my plans for the future? I’m glad you asked!

I’ll give you a little teaser…My mission going forward is to help people incorporate transformational learning into their online courses.

Writing all of this down in this reflective process has been incredibly beneficial for me and I would like to thank you if you made it this far!

If you happen to be pursuing a Doctorate shortly, especially a Doctorate of Education in a fully online program, here are a few pieces of advice I could offer.

Find a group to go through the program with. I dare to say that my experience would not have nearly been as incredible - or maybe would I have even finished - if it had not been for the Community of Practice. Going to school online can be a lonely experience, and even if you think you want to do it alone, trust me, you don’t. Humans are meant to learn together.

Be okay with making adjustments or completing changing your problem of practice or the purpose of your research, even if it means a lot more work for you. You absolutely have to be passionate about what you are researching because your focus is like a needle in a haystack that you will be searching for for quite a while.

The ebbs and flows are a natural part of the doctoral journey. There were certainly moments when I was not sure what in the world I was doing or how I was going to work through a certain situation. However, it is in these moments when innovation can happen. Looking back, if I had not had the conversation with the investor, I would not have had the idea to change my research topic. Had the new addition to my family not happened, I would not have had to innovate and change my research intervention to the online space. What I finally landed on was absolutely perfect for me and my future plans.

When it comes to writing, just write. I heard that over and over again, however, I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing and it was very hard for me (and it still is) to write knowing that it is not perfect the first time around. I had to tell myself time and time again, to just start writing. Get the first draft done. Have the first round of feedback, and then the second, and third, and then you will be done. But you have to start writing first.

Don’t be afraid to be creative. One of the best books that I read during the last 4 years was Creativity, Inc.: Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull with Amy Wallace. In so many ways I feel that higher education is on the straight and narrow with very little wiggle room for creativity. Why do I feel that way, well that is for another newsletter, but when it came to the doctoral process it sometimes felt the more creative my colleagues and I became, the wall put in front of us became bigger and stronger. Education, of all disciplines, should be one of the most creative. We are dealing with human beings and to help each one of them learn we have to pull from every creative bone we have. But, like I said, that is for another newsletter. Just be creative! It might make people ask more questions but that just means that you are moving in the right direction.

I am sure there are things that I will think of in the future that would be helpful, but I suppose one of the biggest things to do is…

Persevere.

You know how people choose a word of the year, persevere would be my word for the doctoral process. You just have to keep going, kind of like the Energizer Bunny.

I think we are nearing the end of this reflection piece. Finally, I’m sure you are thinking. So let us go back to the beginning question of why I pursued a doctoral degree.

Here is one reason that I have now, an analogy to sports, which I learned from a friend whom I met during my courses at ASU. When someone is talented or good at basketball, they want to be in the NBA; hockey, the NHL; soccer (aka futbol), the Premier League, and so on. I have always been good and felt comfortable in the academic environment, especially when I reached higher education. And I’m not talking about taking tests well or getting good grades, both of which I honestly deplore, it is the fact that I am challenged by so many people who have different views than I do. It allows me to expand and grow and change, to not be forced or want to hide my intellectual prowess, but to embrace it. I wanted to be in the Premier League. I wanted to be in the NBA - and I made it, in the academic context.

The second and probably the most important is that I figured out what my purpose is. I suppose four years ago I was going through some sort of mid-life crisis, trying to figure out what my purpose was - I mean, I think I have been trying to figure that out since I was about 10. I am a wife, mother, daughter, and sister, but there was something that I was missing - the work part, where I am creating value and being able to see the value that I am creating to serve people (and I will diving into more of this later after I’m finished reading the book Build the Life you Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happy by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey). I am a natural teacher and have been for a long time, but I was never quite sure what I was supposed to teach.

Throughout this dissertation process, I was led to it through leadership and innovation on my part and wound up with transformational learning in online education (formal and informal) being what I love to teach, and feel that it is certainly needed in the online education environment.

And I guess I should clarify what definition of leadership I am referring to in the above paragraph. I had the great honor of working with a colleague over the past four years who clarified and gave sense to what leadership is. His dissertation was all about leadership and innovation, looking at them in completely new ways. Freshly published in ProQuest, here is the definition by Steven Nash (2025) from his dissertation PROMETHEUS FIRE A Study Considering and Enabling Innovative Agency for Canadian Special Operations NCOs,

Leadership is a social dynamic of human interaction and relationships that causes people to engage with a leader and others in the pursuit of a common goal. It is predicated on the subjective emotional trust relationships which tend to be emotional and subjective. It is a naturally occurring dynamic, in that leaders need not be formally named nor appointed to have influence on others (p. 67).

And now, here is Nash’s (2025) definition of innovation, where he uses a metaphor for explanation. As I want to be very clear about what the definition is, I am giving it to you in his words. It is rather long and we would be highly discouraged from doing this in our dissertation, I feel that clarity on the topic is important here - and this is not a dissertation I am writing.

I offer another metaphor for my distilled definition of creativity and innovation. As an example, consider a balloon, since it can be filled up with air in a highly predictive manner. This context is merely a common process, and the balloon will tend to remain inert unless the contained air escapes by puncture or other means, initiating some movement according to the effects of physics. However, if we fill the same balloon with helium, it will tend to then come to life in Earth’s atmosphere and float or bounce around quite randomly. This helium filled balloon, in my view, is creativity or creative thought, as it is on the move, taking itself to new places in unpredictable, largely meandering ways, but without any specific direction or purpose. If I tie a string to the same balloon and take the string in my hand, I suggest that I have now created innovation, which is creativity with a designated purpose.

Following from this, and related to the upcoming discussion of innovative suppression, if the string is more like a heavy steel bar (perhaps representing the tyranny of bureaucratic process, policy, and procedures), then even the helium (representing creativity in the system) cannot elevate the balloon to anywhere new and interesting. In the converse case, too light a string can snap, perhaps without me knowing, and the balloon/creativity will likely return to randomized and potentially interesting wandering (p.79).

Wow. Chew on those new definitions and let me know what you think.

I am absolutely amazed at how wonderful it has been to write all of this down. Reflection truly is a wonderful mechanism for change.

I will leave you here now, but just know that there will be more newsletters coming as I work on owning my new identity (Dr. Debra Kouda - woohoo!) and living life with my family and friends. As we read in the very first semester - the doctorate is just the arduous first process in this journey of being a practitioner-scholar.

On that note, thank you so much to everyone who has supported me throughout these last 4 years, whether through discussions and words of encouragement or financially through a subscription to this newsletter.

Gratefully yours - Debra Kouda, EdD

References

Kouda, D. (2025). Transformative Learning Through Virtual Tourism: Exploring West Africa in the Digital Space. ProQuest Dissertations & Theses. https://hdl.handle.net/2286/R.2.N.2015445

Nash, S. (2025). PROMETHEUS FIRE A Study Considering and Enabling Innovative Agency for Canadian Special Operations NCOs. ProQuest Dissertations & Theses. https://hdl.handle.net/2286/R.2.N.201243

Hello, and I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because I feel like I am an executive chef in my private kitchen. The hustle and bustle of timing everything just right to be ready for the determined mealtime is my jam. This year, my Mom and I decided to do a bit of prep work the day before Thanksgiving, and let me tell you, that is the way to go! Thanksgiving this year was relaxed and not rushed - and the bag for the turkey didn’t have a hole burned in it like last year so that was a blessing!

If you are wondering what I mean by “bag for the turkey” - Reynolds makes these amazing large oven-safe bags that fit everything from a chicken, to a ham, to a 20-pound turkey. All you do is throw in a tablespoon of flour (so the bag doesn’t explode), place in your turkey, close the bag, place a few holes in the top of the bag, and place it in the oven. Just like that. No basting the turkey, just letting it cook until the appropriate temperature. The turkey comes out moist, with all the juices contained so that you can make an amazing turkey gravy!

Has anyone reading this ever used a turkey bag? I tell you, you will never go back once you do!

My evenings were spent working on a variety of different things - mainly on the computer. And while I was working, I observed my 10-year-old make stop-motion videos with his Lego Avengers. He patiently snapped photo after photo, moved each piece, and then we turned it into a mini-movie on Canva. My 7-year-old sat behind me, my little “editor” I called him. Thought I’d share the first finished video with you here:

A new month also means a new wallpaper for my computer desktop. A sort of goals and vision board for the month. Most of the time it looks like a crowded collage, but this time, I just needed something simple. Also, the last couple of months have had my research questions plastered right on them. Very handy to have those front and center instead of always having to search for them! Although, honestly by now, I probably should know them by heart!

Speaking of my dissertation, that has been taking up a lot of my free time lately. I completed my data collection in the middle of October, and have since then been analyzing the qualitative data. And wow, I underestimated how long it would take to do that. For some reason, I thought that it would be super duper easy. Well, they call it a doctorate for a reason I guess! It has been very interesting, and so far, I am very happy with the results that are turning up. Now it's time to get down to the brass tacks - and get some serious writing done. Well, maybe not too serious. This research has been so much fun for me. I need to carry that feeling into the writing phase!

Although really, when are doctoral dissertations going to be more than a massive chapter-based paper that very few people will read? There were a lot of us going into this doctoral program who wanted to do something “innovative” for our dissertations. But somehow, we are all doing the standard five-chapter paper. Tradition? Probably. But I could think of 100 different ways to present the information that would be way more interesting than a paper. Couldn’t you?

And, of course, you know that I’ve launched Collab des Collines, a tour company offering both online and in-person experiences. Over the years, you’ve heard me talk about Benin, and now I’d be honored to take you there—virtually! On January 6, 2025, I’ll be leading an interactive, four-week online tour of Benin, where we’ll explore its rich culture, vibrant history, and daily life—all from the comfort of home…without the jet lag! ✈️😴

Here are the basics:

🗓️ Dates: January 6 – February 1, 2025 (we meet twice a week)

💻 Where: Online, so you can join from anywhere!

💰 Cost: $297

🎟️ There are only 7 spots left!

I even have a special offer where you can invite a friend at a reduced price—perfect for that one person who’s impossible to shop for! Or maybe you just watched the Netflix documentary Buy Now! The Shopping Conspiracy and are on the hunt for more meaningful gift options?

Anyhow, I am just very excited about my new adventures and that I have people to share the news with! So thank you for continuing to be a part of this community 🙂.

The weather here has Jack Frost visiting the last couple of nights - crisp mornings. I hope that all of you enjoy the beginning of the holiday season!

Stay warm!

Debra

Hello again!

I hope this message finds you well and as excited as I am! If you read my last email, you know that big changes are underway—and today, I’m here to talk about the biggest one:

✨ Collab des Collines is officially launching this Black Friday! ✨

Imagine traveling to a country you’ve never visited, immersing yourself in its vibrant culture, learning from locals, and discovering traditions that have been passed down for generations—all from the comfort of your home.

This is not your typical online course or virtual event. It’s a revolutionary four-week online tour of Benin, guided by me—a Beninese American with over 16 years of experience and a deep, personal connection to the country. I’ll be your guide, sharing not just the sights and sounds, but the heart and soul of Benin.

Here’s what you can expect:

🌍 Authentic Expertise: Gain a deeper understanding of Benin’s rich culture and history through the eyes of someone who has lived it.🎭 Immersive Cultural Experiences: Virtually visit bustling markets, learn ancient traditions, and peek into the daily lives of locals.📚 Interactive Learning: Engage with local guides, guest speakers, and a community of curious participants.🧘‍♀️ Personal Growth: Reflect on your journey through thoughtfully designed activities that encourage transformation.💻 Convenient & Transformative: All you need is a device connected to the internet to embark on this life-changing adventure!

And here’s the best part:

Spots are limited to ensure an intimate, engaging experience—and as a subscriber, you have early access to our exclusive 10% discount for Black Friday!

🌟 Use code BLACKFRIDAY10 at checkout and secure your spot on the waitlist.

📅 The first tour begins the week of January 6, 2025. Why not make this your first adventure of the new year?

Wishing you an enjoyable holiday season!

More soon — and stay warm!

Debra

Imagine this scenario:

You woke up at the usual early morning time to head to your busy, highly political job in Washington DC. Per weekday habits, you get all of your things together and walk to the metro on the Red Line, looking around and observing the world around you as it is before the times of iPhones and Blackberries.

Your ticket gets sucked through the ticket taker and you make sure to grab it before the big gust of wind you feel sweeps it away.

Arriving on the platform, you wrap your scarf around your neck an extra time so that you don’t freeze before the train arrives. Lucky for you, you are at the end, or the beginning depending on how you look at it, of the Red Line, so you can have the seat of your choosing. You take to your usual place on the train, a seat in between the automatic closing doors, and breathe a sigh of relief, looking forward to closing your eyes for a quick snooze on the way to the city.

As soon as your eyes close, you notice that someone sits down next to you, which is inevitable on this busy metro line. But sometimes you get lucky and have at least one or two stops to yourself. You peek open one eye and notice it is a young lady with a messenger bag and headphones over her ears.

Now, please remember reader, that these are the days before fancy AirPods or high-quality inner-ear headphones. These were the Sony Walkman Stereo headphones with the fluffy soft cover that sits on top of the ears - and no, not Bose or AirPods Max.

These particular “old-school” headphones are attached to a portable CD player that is conveniently hidden in the young lady’s bag. Now, here is the deal with these headphones. Unknown to the young lady, who thought that what she could hear on her headphones only went to her ears, if she turned the volume up loud enough, anyone around her nearby would be able to enjoy what she was listening to.

The metro starts moving forward and the young lady settles into her seat, closing her eyes as well, probably relishing the extra twenty minutes she has to sleep just like you. The beauty of living in DC is you never know who you are going to sit next to.

The first few minutes of the ride are quiet and normal as usual, and then you start to hear the faint sound of an orchestra playing. You look over at the young lady sitting next to you and see that she is motioning her hands, if ever so slightly as if she were the conductor of an orchestra. Soon, the sound of the music goes through your ears and you are transported onto the Black Pearl, the ship from the most recent Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom movie.

The music is coming from the young lady’s headphones. The young lady has no idea that anyone can hear what has become her favorite music as of late. She is really into this as you watch her head move to the music, a smile forming on her face. Well, it could be worse you say to yourself. You grin, close your eyes again, and enjoy the music as you head into your busy job. Maybe I’ll get a portable CD player you think…but with better headphones of course.

If you haven’t guessed already, the young woman in this imaginary scenario is me. And this scene was not imaginary. This happened almost daily while I interned at the National Zoo in Washington DC my first year out of college. I was living with my aunt and uncle at the time near the last stop of the Red Line for the DC Metro. And just as the scenario suggests, I had absolutely no idea that anyone could hear what I was listening to on my portable CD player, the Sony Discman (car ready of course to avoid lots of skips).

I have always loved movie scores, and when Pirates of the Caribbean came out, the score quickly went to the top as one of my favorites. I would turn up the volume of the score, imagining myself conducting the orchestra that made The Pirates of the Caribbean come to life.

A few months ago, I saw someone using a pair of the old-style headphones listening to music, and as I got closer, I realized that I could hear - very clearly I might add - all of the music that the person was listening to. I was immediately taken back to my time in DC riding the metro, and realized, at that moment, that anyone sitting in my general vicinity while I was listening to my music had the opportunity to travel into the movie scores along with me. I just laughed to myself. No one ever said anything to me, but looking back, I hope that what I wrote above is what people thought. Maybe I made one or two people smile on the way to or from work.

Oh, and by the way, I still conduct my own imaginary orchestras while listening to movie scores. My favorite as of late has been Portals by Alan Silvestri from Avengers End Games. Take a listen…I’m sure at the end you will feel like a Super Hero. And if you raise your hands to conduct the orchestra - it’s okay. You’re not the only one! 🎶

You know what will always be amazing to me?

Receiving donations to help a cause that you have put together 🙂

A close second is seeing a moose 🫎 or the Northern Lights - never gets old!

This past week we received donations to help Jean and his family. If you missed that story, you can read about it here.

And so, we have started the work on our end.

You would think that after all this time we would have figured out the best way to send money internationally. But let me tell you - it is so difficult…and costly. Western Union is reliable, and instead of going digital, we sent it via human interaction and ended up paying an arm and a leg for it. The amount that they take off the top during the exchange of currency is just ridiculous. About a month ago we were scammed while making a transaction through Moneygram and are still working to get our money back. If anyone has any better ideas on how to send money internationally, I am all ears!

Anyhoo…back to the matter at hand. We have purchased the motorcycle and helmet for the papa to restart his job as a taxi motorcycle driver, and we presented it to him yesterday.

The motorcycle that we purchased is imported from Nigeria, and thanks to higher custom fees, the price of the motos (what we tend to call them in Benin), has gone up as well. Just like gas prices here in the US! Nonetheless, these are fantastic motos, with an extra long seat that is comfortable for any passenger (or passengers!). You can’t resist smiling when you see the joy on his face when the moto was given to him.

We found an apartment for the family to live in and paid six months upfront, as well as the deposit, etc. The space is tiny, but there is an indoor shower, and it is at a price point that they will be able to afford for now. During these next 6 months we will help them get in the habit of saving money so that with time, they can move into a larger apartment. Currently, we are waiting for the landlord to repair the floor. After that, we plan to paint the interior of the apartment before the family moves in.

And, I found out today, that they have already enrolled one of their daughters back into school! All because they know that they will now have the means to pay the school fees with his income as a taxi moto driver.

We are now working on giving the mother funds to restart her fruit commerce business, as well as providing them with some furniture and a small cooking stove.

If you're passionate about making a meaningful difference and want to be a part of transforming this family's life, reach out to me to contribute to this incredible opportunity! I am so happy to be able to share this story with you as it unfolds, and together, we can uplift and support them on their journey to a brighter future.

The Doctorate

On the research/doctorate front, I have started the process of submitting the study to the ASU Institutional Review Board (IRB), the group that makes sure research is conducted ethically.

During the first semester of my doctoral program, we read a book by Dan Butin who had some wonderful ways of understanding the differences between the process and the journey of a Doctorate of Education student. First off, there are three very distinct phases within the process that one must go through to finish. By way of the image below, I am in the Preparation Stage, Step 5 (Submit IRB - upon proposal approval).

The transition into a practitioner scholar is a profound journey. Honestly, this particular aspect hasn’t been addressed much within our program classes - but it includes a huge identity shift - one that comes easy to some and not so easy to others. It's a phase where your relationship with your professors evolves into one of collegiality, shedding the student label. There is a change in how you view the world and approach issues. It becomes about a certain way of thinking about a problem and the steps and research that you will take to try and find a solution. Butin (2019) boldly calls this a “certain kind of intellectual swagger” (p. 148), which I can totally get behind. I mean, that line would make a fantastic t-shirt!

We talk a lot about this transition within the little Community of Practice (CoP) that meets twice a week, when we can…what’s up to my Goldilocks crew??!! Because while we understand what we have gone through, it is hard to explain it to someone who hasn’t. Which coincidentally is what a part of my dissertation is about.

Now, I’m not sure how many of you have read a doctoral dissertation. I had only read a handful, and most of them were because I was assigned to in class! So, I have decided to share my dissertation proposal with you in chunks starting next week. Remember that I am going for a Doctorate of Education, so my dissertation might look different from a Doctorate of Philosophy (PhD) dissertation, or other doctoral programs out there.

And, as I have received this question before, even though I will receive a Doctorate of Education, my interests and research do not lie within the K-12 or Higher Education systems. I am looking at education that happens outside of a classroom in non-traditional learning environments.

Bluey

If you have not jumped on the Bluey train - I highly suggest it! Your entire outlook on the day will change after 8 minutes of this wonderful Australian cartoon 🙂

(If it doesn’t change for the better - send me a message!)

Thanks again for all the support and have a wonderful week!

Debra

Also…FYI…Spotify has audiobooks! If you have their premium membership you basically have Audible at your fingertips!

Kouda's News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

TODAY’S PICKS…what I would share if we were chatting at the water cooler 💦

📖  READING …The Department of Rare Books and Special Collections by Eva Jurczyk & listening to Elon Musk by Walter Isaacson

🎧  LISTENING …Marketplace Podcast…and the Rich Roll Podcast where Rich speaks with Jonathan Haidt On How Social Media is Rewiring Childhood

🎶  MUSIC …the playlist from Bluey, and the latest Justin Timberlake album (his show at the NPR Tiny Desk was awesome!)

▶️. WATCHING …rewatched Ted Lasso on AppleTV. Be a goldfish my friends. Be a goldfish 🎏…and BELIEVE.

Butin, Dan. The Education Dissertation: A Guide for Practitioner Scholars (p. 148). SAGE Publications. Kindle Edition.

Long time

It has been way too long since I have posted to this newsletter. I am sure that you are all on pins and needles about what is going on in our lives!

I’ll just hit some highlights which I will dive into further in the upcoming weeks.

Kouda's News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

* I am a doctoral candidate! This means that I am no longer a student…and am ready to complete the research that I proposed in my dissertation proposal defense - which is focused on the topic of transformational tourism.

* This leads me to…our tourism business. The Kouda Company is undergoing a major revival. Can you actually call it a revival if it never lifted off the ground in the first place?? Anyhow, it is in the beginning stages of a start-up now…making a pitch for investors, branding, logos, a new website, marketing research…all the things!

* This newsletter…It will be a way for me to write, share, communicate, and build community with people about motherhood, homeschooling, entrepreneurship, doctoral studies, research, tourism, and so much more. Sounds like a crazy mix of subjects, but that is my life and I would like to lean into sharing my story with others.

Jean’s Story

Although we have been in the US for a little while now, we remain closely connected to events unfolding in Benin. My husband, D'Aquin, was recently nominated to serve as the president of a new nonprofit organization called Support for Disabled People, dedicated to assisting individuals with disabilities in our region of Benin.

Their mission is to advocate for the rights of individuals with disabilities in crucial areas such as health, information access, education, employment, income, and culture.

A few weeks ago, D’Aquin headed to Benin to visit family and take care of some business. As he was arriving at his hotel around midnight, a young boy who was sitting close by asked if he could help D’Aquin with his bags. Of course, D’Aquin said. When the boy stood up, D’Aquin saw that the boy was handicapped, his legs caving inwards at the knees. D’Aquin was moved by the boy’s willingness to help, even though he was disabled.

With his new role as president of Support for Disabled People fresh on his mind, D’Aquin wanted to know more about the boy, whose name was Jean (pronounced like “John” with a French accent). The following morning the opportunity presented itself, as Jean was sitting in the same place as the night before. The video below is Jean’s story.

After watching the video, you can see that the story goes way beyond Jean. His parents lost their means to make a living and provide housing for their family when they had to pay all the medical bills during Jean’s illness.

D'Aquin has already enrolled Jean in one of the Support for Disabled People programs, which will assist him in locating and financing an apprenticeship to pursue a career as a tailor. Sadly, at this time, the program does not provide support for entire families.

We would like to find a way to get the family back on their feet. This means getting the mother and father working again and renting an apartment that is off the dirt ground. We have thought long and hard about the best way to do this, because we have learned over the years that simply giving them money will not necessarily help them.

Here is our plan:

$725 Motorcycle and helmet for the father, so that he can begin his work as a taxi motorcycle driver again.

$200 Provide the mother with funds to purchase goods to sell, previously she sold fruit (pineapple, coconuts, mango, etc) on the side of the road.

$225 Find them a place to rent that is affordable for them and pay full rent (including water and electricity) for 3 months and partial rent for the following 3 months.

$300 Provide them with furniture and kitchen essentials

After 6 months, we will evaluate and see how the family is doing.

With $1500, we can help lift this family off the ground and reintegrate them into a working economy again. If you feel called to aid us in this endeavor, please send me a message with the button below.

You have reached the end of this week’s newsletter…and I would like to thank you so much for your ongoing support. I am so thrilled about this community that we are building and the exciting adventures happening in the future.

Have a wonderful week ahead!

Stay well…and smile often 🙂

Debra

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I celebrated a birthday last week - I honestly don’t have a problem telling you my age - but I think it wise to just keep everyone guessing 🙂

My oldest son, Aden, surprised me with the most beautiful gift, my very first Lego set! Oh yes, I have purchased many sets of Lego, but this was the first that was my very own, a bouquet of wildflowers.

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Fun facts!

Since I recently celebrated my birthday, I thought I would share a few fun facts that many of you might not know!

* I enjoy watching “morning routine” videos on YouTube…and Korean cooking videos

* I sing.

* I am an amazing whistler (if you don’t believe me comment below and I will share an example with you!)…and I often whistle under stress without any knowledge. For example, during the biochem final exam as a senior in college, I started whistling in a quiet auditorium full of students. I had no idea that I was making noise. When I finally realized that I was whistling, I immediately stopped and prayed that no one had heard me!

* My favorite movies are Mary Poppins (the original) and Love Actually, although the Lego Movies are not far behind!

* I ran a half-marathon in 2019.

* I do not enjoy doing the dishes.

* My favorite candle is from a little candle shop in Sugar Loaf, NY where my father grew up.

* I am an Apple fan and almost worked for the famous company.

* My favorite meal is pounded yam and peanut sauce with chicken.

* I am on level 1446 of the Two Dots app.

Reflection ☁️

This birthday has brought about a lot of contemplation and reflection. I suppose this happens every year, but for some reason, it has a deeper pull this year, perhaps it is my age??!!

The below questions have been percolating over the last couple of weeks…

“Am I where I thought I would be?” “Am I on a path currently that I want to be on?” “Am I making the right decisions for my children, my family?” “Am I doing things because others want me to or because I want to?”

I have a bucket list of goals I would like to accomplish. What I have realized is that it is FEAR holding me back from really pursuing those goals that seem downright audacious (to most people anyway).

I am constantly reminded by a few of my colleagues in the doctoral program that in the first “get to know who I am video” assignment, I am now famous for saying that my, “pie in the sky goal is to completely overhaul the education system in Benin.”

Oftentimes I wonder where that person is or if it was me who made that statement two years ago, and did I actually believe it? It was me, and I have a video to prove it.

But, the FEAR of judgment, failure, and success, have had a serious hold on my mindset these last couple of years.

A rather serious conclusion to arrive at - but I know in my bones that I am the one holding myself back.

One of my favorite motivational speakers is Robin Arzon. She is a VP at Peloton and I have been listening to her for years as an instructor through the Peloton app. During her last appearance on the Rich Roll podcast, she cited three questions that she uses in journaling:

* “Why not me?”

* “What is my why?”

* “What would I do if I was twice as confident and twice as strong?”

Here is the YouTube video clip if you want her explain these questions a bit further.

Although my journaling habit is somewhat rusty, these are powerful questions that I have asked myself to help get the ball rolling again.

Final thoughts 💭

I realize this is not the most upbeat post that I have written - but ladies and gentlemen, this newsletter is all about real life. And as I am learning, there is power in telling your story, even when it is not “social media” perfect.

This next year is going to be one of many adventures and I am looking forward to sharing them with you.

Feel free to send me your stories as well. There is so much growth and learning that can happen when you are willing to listen to the stories of others.

For now…have a wonderful weekend. Enjoy a cup of coffee. Pick out a pumpkin. Read a good book. Play. Hang out with your families.

As my friend Steve says, stay well and smile often.

Debra

Kouda's News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Before I get into the meat and potatoes of this post…has anyone ever just had a craving for cookies so you went ahead and made them - even if you hadn’t planned to? Well, it happened to me today. One minute I was writing and the next I was googling the best recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.

Soon after the mixer was whirling 🍪.

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Let me tell you - they turned out just the way I dreamed. Not like the ones in the grocery store but puffy and soft on the inside with the nice crunch of the chocolate chips.

And the aroma. I wish I could bottle it up and send it to you through this newsletter because it was heavenly.

The dissertation

Now, onto the question which I know some of you must have. I have mentioned in previous posts that I am working on my dissertation proposal for my Doctorate of Education (EdD). What I realized this past week is that while I am very familiar with the terminology associated with higher education, many people might not be. So, maybe it would help to explain it.

Now, for those of you who are familiar with the term, you most likely associate dissertation with a PhD, or a Doctorate of Philosophy. Of course, there are many types of doctoral degrees, of which the Doctorate of Education happens to be one.

A simple difference between a PhD of Education and an EdD of Education:

A Doctor of Education (EdD) is a professional degree designed for practitioners pursuing educational leadership roles. A PhD in education, on the other hand, is designed to prepare graduates for research and teaching roles.

Now, I will go ahead and explain the dissertation and how I am completing it based on my program at Arizona State University, as it is what I have the most experience with.

I am a part of a 3-year action research program, where you conduct three cycles of research during your time as a student. In case you have never heard of action research, it is a philosophy and methodology of research that:

…seeks transformative change through the simultaneous process of taking action and doing research, which are linked together by critical reflection.

As of the writing of this post, I have finished two cycles of research and my dissertation research is the third.

When you reach the 8th semester (we don’t have summer breaks!) it is time for you to defend your dissertation proposal to your selected committee. The dissertation proposal is essentially a contract you are entering into with your committee about the research that you plan to conduct.

The committee consists of three people (normally) - the chair (head of the committee) and two others.

According to the Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, a dissertation (noun) is defined as:

an extended usually written treatment of a subject

specifically: one submitted for a doctorate

In other words, a long formal piece of writing on one particular subject.

The dissertation proposal I am composing consists of three written chapters:

* The introduction and purpose of the study/research - historical, larger, and local context

* The literature review - the theoretical background for your intended research

* The methodology - the recipe you will use to conduct your research

The dissertation proposal defense is a formal event, and in my case will take place online. I will prepare a 20-minute presentation about my research plan, summarizing my written proposal. The committee would have read my proposal beforehand and come to the defense with questions and/or suggestions which they will ask when my presentation is over.

For my program, there is a second part to the dissertation proposal defense, and that is an oral comprehensive examination. I have two options for this part:

* Receive questions one week before the dissertation defense, allowing time to prepare a response or…

* Questions are asked on the day of the defense, so you are giving responses on the fly.

Now, once these two parts are over, I am sent out of the space and the committee is given time to discuss and decide if I am going to pass.

After that major hurdle, it is a walk in the park 🙂

* You receive necessary approvals from the Institutional Review Boards (IRB)

* Conduct your research

* Analyze the results of your research

* Update your dissertation to include the results of your research (chapters 4 and 5) or in an alternative dissertation format

* Submit for the dissertation defense

* Graduate!

Okay, so it may be slightly more difficult than a walk in the park. I don’t want to get ahead of myself - lots to do between now and then!

I hope this short overview has helped to shed a little light on a process that might have sounded confusing before.

Above all, I am very lucky to have an amazing chair/mentor and Community of Practice helping me navigate. They have truly made all the difference in the world!

Snails 🐌

As it is fall here the cleaning up of the small little garden is taking place. When the boys were clipping the tomato plants they discovered a family of snails! I tell you, I have never seen a kid as excited to find snails as Benjamin. His energy is contagious!

Thank you so much for reading and/or listening and I hope that you have a wonderful week ahead!

As my friend Steve says…

Stay well and smile often.

Debra

Kouda's News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.