Bewitched Banter

Remember the beginning of COVID times? If you do, we’re impressed. It feels like a millennia ago when grocery stores, gas stations, highways and airports resembled scenes right out of The Walking Dead or I Am Legend. What if the global pandemic was not a crown-shaped virus, but the zombification of humans instead? Don’t panic, the Center for Disease Control’s (CDC) got a plan for that, but the Bewitches advise you not to count on it. Amy schools us that pop culture’s Zombi image as a flesh eating, living dead person roaming the Earth aimlessly, is actually a far cry from the historical Haitian origins. Zombies are actually part of the Vodou religion. Zombification is an ancient ritual practiced by bokors or “witch doctors'' to help the dead reconvene with their ancestors. While it’s possible that the disease that causes zombie deer and cicadas could cross over to humans, it’s highly unlikely. Maybe that’s why the CDC’s plan basically only includes a “Go Bag?” What’s your Zombie Apocalypse plan? ‘Cause ya might need to create your own.

We go back to darkness in this week’s story time with two notorious American murderers. Both of these “unorganized” killers blamed the supernatural for their crimes and ended up on Death Row as each of their attorneys were unsuccessful in using the insanity defense. Amy covers self-proclaimed Satanist Sean Sellers, who’s certainly not a “good one.” Though he eventually claimed remorse as a God-Fearing Christian, Sellers was more interested in his own fame than any genuine apologies. Krista goes back to the late 1800s with another God-obsessed monster, Albert Fish. Sadly, Fish’s God complex wasn’t the only one he had. Fish was a pedophile and cannibal obsessed with abducting, murdering, and mutilating children (mostly poor, uneducated, boys of color or children with mental disabilities). While he was eventually caught and sent to the electric chair, the number of victims who he brutally attacked, butchered and ate are unknown. [You’re gonna need earmuffs on some of this if you’re squeamish].

Well if you learned anything in this episode, it is that Krista may have a legit problem: she’s true crime obsessed. While the Bewitches initially bonded over murder shows at the very beginning of their friendship, Amy took a long-break from consuming and reading any media or books on this dark and tragic topic. Krista confesses in her coverage of serial killers that she’s never quite stopped pouring over TV show after podcast after documentary crime and murder shows including NETFLIX’s, Mind Hunter. She even falls asleep almost nightly to these types of stories. Amy promises to do an intervention. Meanwhile, Krista goes right back into the darkness covering serial killers including some of America’s most monstrous murderers thanks to the incredible work of renowned FBI criminal profilers John E. Douglas and Robert K. Ressler.

On Tuesday, Amy gave us all the dirty deets on the "Father of Modern Satanism," Anton LaVey. While he was busy founding his unconventional religion, he wasted no time on throwing his three-year-old daughter, Zeena, to the fire with her globally broadcasted Satanic Baptism in 1967. Zeena Schreck may have come from "The Black House" of the "Black Pope," but today, she's one bad B*tch and Krista's kinda obsessed with her. Amy then shares how satanists may just be the ones who save Pro Choice. See how the Satanic Temple’s abortion rituals may stop the pulse of the Texas “heartbeat bill.”