In Part 2 of my conversation with longtime coach and youth sport observer Shaun Reid, we move from diagnosing the problems in youth sports to dealing with them directly. Shaun has coached hundreds of athletes across ages and levels, and he’s clear-eyed about what’s actually shaping kids’ experiences today—parent involvement, sideline pressure, pay-to-play incentives, early specialization, and a coaching pipeline that often lacks real training.

This episode is practical. We talk about what parents should say before and after games, how coaches can create clarity without caving to pressure, and why honest expectations are the only path to healthier youth sport environments.

Part 1 unpacked the “system.”

Part 2 focuses on solutions, behaviors, and better models going forward.

• The real root issue in youth sports today—and why it’s not talent or cost
• How parent over-involvement erodes enjoyment and development
• What to actually say before and after games to support your child
• Why breaking down a kid’s performance usually backfires
• Pay-to-play realities: where it works and where it harms families
• The age when playing time should shift from equal to earned
• The transparency gap fueling parent–coach conflict
• Youth sport dropout rates, identity risk, and long-term impact
• How early specialization accelerates burnout
• What youth sports could look like in 10 years if nothing changes
• The missing coaching education pipeline in the U.S.
• Why the “barrier to entry” for coaching is too low—and what should change
• How to build trust with parents without catering to them
• Rapid-fire: books, models, lessons, and influences
• Note: Episode ends abruptly due to Shaun’s lost connection

The Impactful Coaching Project equips coaches, parents, and leaders to build healthier, more holistic sport environments grounded in competence, care, and constancy. Through research, education, writing, and the Beyond Coaching podcast, ICP focuses on practical systems that support long-term athlete wellbeing—not just short-term outcomes.

Learn more: https://impactfulcoachingproject.com

• Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-coaching-an-impactful-coaching-project-podcast/id1711128150
• Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4XZrfisl0lv82qFPtfipVz
• Substack: https://impactfulcoachingproject.substack.com

In Part 1 of Rob’s conversation with Shaun Reid, they diagnose what’s gone sideways in youth sports. Shaun—originally from Wales and a longtime soccer coach—breaks down why the youth sports “system” has drifted from child-centered development toward a pay-to-play business model. Rob and Shaun discuss dropout rates, parent pressure, over-trusting underqualified coaches, and the way “selling a dream” can hijack the purpose of youth sports. Part 2 will focus on solutions.

• Shaun’s background and why he sees youth sports differently
• Why youth sports has become a “system” with predictable outcomes
• The integrity gap: when the business model replaces the kid as the priority
• The impact of parent identity, comparison culture, and social media
• How young coaches can become “experts” to parents—and spread bad information
• The “selling the dream” problem: promises that don’t match reality
• Why Rob believes it’s not just individual coaches—it’s the structure around them
• Why this conversation is split into two parts, and what’s coming next

If youth sports is producing rising dropout rates and decreasing participation, it’s not an accident. It’s the result of incentives and expectations that put adults—often unintentionally—ahead of the child.

Rob and Shaun shift from diagnosis to solutions: practical guidance for parents, realistic development for coaches, and ways to reduce harm inside a pay-to-play reality.

This Best of 2025 episode brings together the most listened-to and most shared conversations from Beyond Coaching this year.

Each segment tackles a reality coaches deal with every day:

how to build culture when not everyone plays, how to develop leaders through failure, and how to handle stress without trying to eliminate it.

You’ll hear from Brent Hobson, Jim McNeal, and Mitch Hull—three coaches and leaders working in very different environments, but wrestling with the same leadership challenges.

Different settings. Same issues.

Leadership, pressure, failure, and building programs that last.

Not everyone plays—but everyone still shapes the culture.

Brent Hobson, longtime head coach of Friends University Women’s Soccer, explains how he intentionally builds value for athletes who may never see the field, including why the only award in his office has nothing to do with wins or goals. This is what team-first culture looks like in practice.

Topics include:

• Building value beyond the lineup
• The Garland Award and why it matters
• Coaching honesty without lowering standards
• What’s actually changed—and hasn’t—with today’s athletes

Jim McNeal, retired Navy Reserve Rear Admiral and leadership mentor at the U.S. Naval Academy, explains why the Academy is intentionally designed to make high achievers fail—and why that matters.

Failure isn’t accidental. It’s part of the training.

Topics include:

• The Naval Academy as a leadership laboratory
• Why leaders are judged on how they lead people, not just results
• Helping high achievers learn to fail safely
• Shifting from external success to internal standards

We spend a lot of time trying to remove stress from sport. Research suggests that approach often backfires.

Mitch Hull explains why stress itself isn’t the problem, why perception matters more than pressure, and how coaches reduce stress by focusing on habits, preparation, and daily execution—not the scoreboard.

Topics include:

• Why “stress is bad” is the wrong message
• Reframing pressure as preparation
• Process-over-outcome coaching
• Helping athletes perform when it matters most

Beyond Coaching is produced by the Impactful Coaching Project, an initiative focused on helping coaches lead the whole person—not just the performer.

The Impactful Coaching Project exists to support coaches at every level as they navigate leadership, culture, pressure, and the realities of coaching today’s athletes. Through podcasts, writing, research, and coach education, ICP emphasizes practical leadership, honest conversations, and systems of care that help teams perform and people grow.

In this Beyond Coaching Podcast Short, the conversation centers on a simple but often neglected truth: care doesn’t happen by accident—it has to be planned.

The discussion explores how coaches can create intentional platforms for honest, constructive dialogue with players. When athletes are given the right setting, clear expectations, and healthy boundaries, most are fair, thoughtful, and invested in making the program better—not tearing it down.

The episode also highlights the enduring power of small, personal gestures. A handwritten note. A name written in ink. A quiet moment of affirmation without an audience. These practices still matter—and they still work.

Beyond individual actions, the conversation zooms out to culture. The stories a team tells—about gratitude, care, and looking out for one another—shape identity far more than win-loss records. What gets noticed, named, and repeated becomes who the team is.

The bottom line is clear: if care isn’t built into weekly rhythms, practice plans, and systems, it will get crowded out by scouting reports, recruiting, and schedules. Coaches who want it to last have to plan for it.

Key themes:

• Creating healthy structures for player feedback
• Why most athletes are fair when given the right environment
• The lasting impact of handwritten notes and personal affirmation
• Using stories to reinforce team values and culture
• Why care must be scheduled—or it disappears

Listen to Beyond Coaching:

• Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-coaching-an-impactful-coaching-project-podcast/id1711128150
• Spotify: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-coaching-an-impactful-coaching-project-podcast/id1711128150

Learn more about the Impactful Coaching Project at:

https://impactfulcoachingproject.com

Rob sits down with Brent Hobson, longtime Friends University women’s soccer coach. Brent became a head coach at 24 and has spent nearly a decade shaping a program built on clarity, honest feedback, and team-first culture.

They dig into what it actually takes to coach Gen Z, how to lead players who aren’t getting the role they hoped for, and why self-evaluation is one of the most underrated tools in a coach’s toolkit.

Brent sees today’s athletes as more visible, more individualized, and more influenced by social media. Instead of complaining about the shift, he explains how coaches can adapt and still build connected teams.

Brent created the Garland Award, named after a former player who rarely played but shaped the program through character and commitment. It’s the only award displayed in his office—and a reminder that contribution isn’t limited to playing time.

Whether it’s the athlete who won’t play much or the athlete upset about their role, Brent leans toward clarity over comfort. He outlines how to help players understand how they can still impact the team—and why these conversations require coaches, captains, and teammates working together.

Initially skeptical, Brent now credits the 3D framework with helping him slow down, reflect, and rethink his relationship-building as a coach. It gave him a needed “renewal” in how he leads.

Evaluations shouldn’t be a hunt for mistakes. Brent urges ADs to look at the whole athlete experience and share what’s going well—not just what needs work.

• Book recommendation: Shoe Dog by Phil Knight
• Failure that shaped him: The challenging 2020 COVID season
• Definition of success: Lasting relationships with players and alumni
• Best golf score: 73 at Cherry Oaks
• New habit: Listening more—to players, colleagues, and his kids

Listen on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-coaching-an-impactful-coaching-project-podcast/id1711128150

Spotify: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-coaching-an-impactful-coaching-project-podcast/id1711128150

More resources at impactfulcoachingproject.com

Rob sits down with longtime softball coach Suzanne Unruh to unpack how coaching has changed over the past decade—and why today’s athletes require a different kind of leadership. Suze shares how she evolved from a win-driven, blunt young coach to a purpose-focused mentor, emphasizing emotional intelligence, individualized coaching, and building identity beyond the game.

The conversation highlights how showcase culture has impacted competitiveness, the importance of connection off the field, and why faith and relational trust have become central to her coaching philosophy. For anyone leading this generation—on the field or beyond—it’s a timely, honest look at what it takes to coach well today.

Key Themes:

• Coaching evolution: Suze reflects on how her approach has shifted from winning at all costs to leading with purpose, patience, and trust.
• Showcase culture and shifting motivation: Today’s athletes often come from environments where exposure matters more than winning. Coaches must reframe the meaning of competition and team success.
• Individualized leadership: Modern athletes expect relational coaching. Knowing how each athlete wants to be coached is key to earning buy-in.
• Mental health and emotional awareness: Athletes today are more open about emotions. Coaches need emotional discipline and active presence, especially in high-pressure moments.
• Rebuilding identity: When athletes don’t get the role they want, identity can crack. Coaches play a central role in helping athletes understand their value beyond the lineup.
• Relational trust: Off-field connection strengthens on-field performance. Suze shares practical ways she invests in athletes as whole people.
• Faith and long-term impact: Suze views coaching as ministry and mentorship—emphasizing purpose, relationships, and post-college connection as her deepest success markers.

Notable Moments:

01:10 – Suze on early coaching: “I was good, so I thought I’d just make them good”

 03:20 – Becoming a head coach at age 22, unexpectedly

 07:55 – Mistakes made early on—blunt honesty without relational context

 12:40 – Comparing JUCO and four-year athletes: mindset, priorities, and approach

 16:13 – The showcase era and its impact on competitiveness and team dynamics

 18:20 – Athletes say they love competition—but do they mean it?

 20:14 – The rise of emotional transparency in today’s athlete

 22:30 – How Suze keeps the bottom 10 on the roster valued and engaged

 24:00 – Building identity outside the game to prepare for post-athletic life

 27:42 – The cost of showing visible stress on the field

 29:10 – What Suze wants it to feel like to be coached by her

 32:45 – A coaching failure that almost made her quit—and what pulled her back

 36:00 – Rapid fire: books, mistakes, success, and favorite coaches

Books mentioned: Tony Dungy’s leadership books, Pat Summitt’s coaching philosophy

Practical Takeaways:

• Rebuild the team-first mindset. In the showcase era, many athletes arrive focused on visibility, not competition. Reframe the value of team success and shared goals.
• Coach the individual. Modern athletes need coaching tailored to how they receive feedback. One-size-fits-all approaches don’t work.
• Establish identity beyond the sport. When roles change or playing time decreases, identity gaps can become emotional gaps. Use relationship to fill them.
• Manage your presence. Your emotional regulation sets the tone. Athletes quickly absorb your body language and energy.
• Value the whole roster. The culture often depends more on how the “non-stars” are treated than how the stars perform.
• Lead with relationship. Know their story. Trust and influence grow when athletes feel seen beyond the field.
• Keep faith at the center (if it aligns with your context). For Suze, purpose flows from faith—and that purpose informs how she coaches, leads, and supports her athletes long-term.

Notable Quotes:

Suzanne Unruh

 “They need to know I know how they want to be coached—and how not to coach them.”

 “Being told you’re appreciated and you have a purpose is one of the most important things an athlete needs today.”

Connect with the Impactful Coaching Project:

 X: @ICP_Project

 Instagram: @impactful_coaching_project

 LinkedIn: Impactful Coaching Project

Rob sits down with longtime coach and mentor Dean Jaderston to unpack the transitions that shaped his career—from Minnesota high schools to college men’s hoops, and eventually to leading women at Friends University. Dean lays out a clear contrast between coaching men and women, why the collective psyche matters on women’s teams, how to move from managing to leading, and what it takes to stay steady in a public, always-on era. Faith, patience, and the willingness to play the long game thread through the whole conversation.

Key Themes

• Transitions that grow you: High school → college; men → women; what Dean “didn’t know he didn’t know” about recruiting and preparation.
• Coachability & confidence: With men, puncturing overconfidence; with women, raising ceilings and naming their potential.
• The collective effect: Public praise/critique lands differently on women’s teams—use “we/us” language and handle most individual feedback 1:1.
• Lead, don’t just manage: Dean’s “one big rule”—you either bless people or curse people; hold to that and cut the bloated rulebook.
• Faith as framework: Total-release effort as worship; coach the whole person—spiritually, emotionally, psychologically.
• Reality of the job: Life and coaching are messy; don’t overreact, don’t take it personally, watch actions over words, and keep vision front and center.
• Listening builds buy-in: Seek first to understand; today’s athletes spot inauthenticity fast.
• Vision sustains: The Hartman Arena story—nobody believed it early; vision made the work coherent.

Notable Moments

• 00:15 – Why Rob almost changed jobs just to learn from Dean
• 01:36 – High school → college: “I didn’t know what I didn’t know” (recruiting, prep)
• 06:00 – When talent stalls: the cost of being uncoachable
• 06:33 – Men vs. women: confidence gaps and ceilings
• 08:52 – Language shift: use “we/us”; keep praise/critique mostly individual
• 10:49 – Why schemes/X&O often matter more in the women’s game
• 11:58 – Teaching bug: chasing light-bulb moments and durable confidence
• 14:35 – Faith, “audience of One,” and coaching the whole person
• 20:17 – Coaching in the information age: echo chambers and public scrutiny
• 21:18 – From rules to leadership: Dean’s single standard (“bless vs. curse”)
• 23:13 – Adapt the system to the roster you actually have
• 24:04 – Listening as strategy for buy-in
• 26:00 – Hope and vision: conditioning with the end in mind
• 30:26 – Don’t take it personal; judge actions over words
• 31:02 – Playing the long game when your job feels year-to-year
• 33:44 – Embrace the mess; prepare for age-appropriate, inappropriate moments
• 35:25 – Rapid fire: books, failures, definitions of success, habits

Rapid-Fire References

• Books mentioned: Coach K’s leadership book (annual reread); Frosty Westering’s Make the Big Time Where You Are (ethos: maximize what you have, where you are).
• Podcast: Better Questions by Matt Davis.
• Definition of success: Help people see and seize their potential—spiritually, academically, emotionally, athletically.

Practical Takeaways

• Shrink the rulebook. Hold a single, culture-defining standard and enforce it consistently.
• Reframe confidence. With men, calibrate realism; with women, remove ceilings.
• Mind the locker room dynamics. Public praise/critique has second-order effects on women’s teams—coach individuals individually.
• Lead with listening. Credibility follows curiosity and presence.
• Keep vision visible. Name the destination daily so effort has context.
• Don’t chase validation. If behavior changes, let that be the win.

Check out more of our stuff (and sign up to get a free resource) at impactfulcoachingproject.com.

In this episode, Dustin Galyon shares a real-world coaching moment involving a senior student-athlete who skipped a team workout and responded with uncharacteristic defiance. Instead of reacting with discipline alone, Dustin leaned on years of relationship-building to have a direct, honest conversation—one that ultimately deepened trust and ended with mutual respect.

The conversation explores how coaching has changed over the past decade, why relationships matter more than ever, and how today’s coaches can lead with both accountability and empathy. It’s a reminder that the best coaching happens when leaders stay connected, even in tough moments.

The Impactful Coaching Project helps coaches lead today’s athletes with a more holistic approach to leadership. ICP offers training, tools, and research-backed resources that connect mental, emotional, and physical health to strong team performance. Learn how to build healthy, competitive team cultures at impactfulcoachingproject.com.

In Part 2, we dig deeper into how the U.S. Naval Academy develops ethical, resilient leaders—and how those same lessons apply to coaching. Jim breaks down the Academy’s leadership lab, the sophomore ethics course, and the “2 for 7” contract that defines a midshipman’s commitment.

We also talk about his new book, Crucibles—what inspired it, the diverse organizations studied (from NASA to the Gurkhas to the Mafia), and what modern teams and coaches can learn from how these groups design challenges that forge true belonging and purpose.

Topics

• The Academy as a “leadership laboratory”
• Sophomore ethics: Ethical & Moral Reasoning for the Naval Leader
• “2 for 7” commitment and the cost of service
• Moral stress tests: real-world ethical scenarios
• Time management and “the alligator closest to the boat”
• Jim’s new book Crucibles — lessons from NASA, Gurkhas, Mafia, and more
• The fine line between initiation and hazing
• Designing crucibles that build learning organizations (five elements)
• Why standards—not comfort—should define leadership
• Lightning round: Season of Life, standards > stats, defining success, early mornings

Five takeaways for coaches

1. Teach ethics like a skill. Pressure-test decision-making.
2. Lead with standards. Stop chasing external validation.
3. Design your crucible. If it doesn’t serve growth, it’s hazing.
4. Master time. Handle “the alligator closest to the boat.”
5. Build a learning culture. Focus on mastery, challenge, culture, expertise, and strategy.

Resources mentioned

• Crucibles — Jim McNeil & Eric Smith (audiobook available)
• Season of Life — Jeffrey Marx

Pull quotes

• “If you can’t tie a tradition to a positive result, it’s hazing.”
• “Crucibles define who belongs—not by exclusion, but by shared purpose.”
• “You can’t lead others unless you know yourself.”
• “Standards—not external judges—have to drive us.”
• “Time management is the skill: handle the alligator closest to the boat.”

Listen & links

• Apple Podcasts: Beyond Coaching on Apple
• Spotify: Beyond Coaching on Spotify
• Website: impactfulcoachingproject.com

Please review! In your review, tell us your biggest takeaway from this episode!

This special Best of September edition of Beyond Coaching brings together some of the most eye-opening and practical conversations we’ve had this month. From the sidelines of youth sports to the leadership labs of the Naval Academy, each guest shared powerful stories and truths that speak directly to the challenges coaches and leaders face every day.

We kick things off with Mitch Hull of the 3D Institute, who challenges how we think about parents in youth sports. Then, Jamy Bechler joins us with a dose of real-world coaching leadership that bridges theory and the chaos of daily decisions. And finally, Jim McNeil from the U.S. Naval Academy offers a look inside how future leaders are forged—not just through wins, but through failure.

[1:16] – Are parents the problem—or just a symptom? Mitch Hull reframes the youth sports narrative.

[4:19] – Playing time is king: What most parent complaints are really about—and why it matters.

[6:00] – Why 70% of kids quit sports before high school. It's not about the scoreboard—it’s about what we model.

[8:16] – “Simple, not easy”: Jamy Bechler on how leadership breaks down when the day gets messy.

[10:51] – Twelve walk in, not two: A surprise team meeting tests Jamy’s leadership approach in real time.

[14:08] – The Naval Academy as a leadership lab: Jim McNeil on how midshipmen judge adults by their leadership.

[17:24] – Permission to fail: Why the Academy pushes high achievers to fail early, reflect deeply, and grow fast.

• Mitch Hull – 3D Institute
• Jamy Bechler – jamybechler.com
• Jim McNeal – Author of Crucibles
• Learn more at impactfulcoachingproject.substack.com

If this episode challenged or inspired you, I’d love it if you’d share it with another coach, leader, or parent. Be sure to rate, review, and follow the podcast on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode. Thanks for being part of the Impactful Coaching Project!