Many domestic violence stories end with escape and a clean “happily ever after.” Real survivor experiences are often far more complex.

In this episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid speaks with author Deanna Kay about her debut novel The Measure of Enough and the real-world survivor experiences that shaped its story. The conversation explores why emotional scars can remain long after safety is rebuilt — and why honest representation of abuse in fiction matters for awareness, education, and empathy.

Discussion includes:

•  Hidden forms of domestic violence and coercive control 
•  Emotional, verbal, physical, and sexual abuse beyond common stereotypes 
•  Early warning signs like isolation, manipulation, and control 
•  How abuse can remain invisible inside “perfect” families 
•  Supporting someone experiencing abuse without accusation 
•  Body image, eating disorders, and vulnerability in controlling relationships 
•  Writing, publishing, rejection, and telling survivor-centered stories responsibly 

Set against a Texas backdrop, The Measure of Enough follows Casey, a young social worker confronting family secrets and misinformation — opening a broader conversation about perception, trauma, and healing.

Subscribe, share, and leave a rating to help more listeners find conversations that expand domestic violence awareness and survivor education.

Deonna’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/deonna-kay/

https://deonnakay.com/

https://www.instagram.com/deonnakaybooks

https://www.facebook.com/deonnakayauthor

https://www.amazon.com/Measure-Enough-Deonna-Kay/dp/B0F4S887TC

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

Abuse rarely shows up as one clear event. More often, it’s a pattern of power and control that changes shape over time and can hide behind family roles, church culture, or a perfect public image. I’m Ingrid, and in this conversation Tom shares how that pattern followed him from childhood into adulthood, and what it took to finally name it, survive it, and start rebuilding a life that feels safe.

Tom takes us back to being a teenager desperate to please a distant father, experimenting with asbestos, and then carrying unbearable guilt after his mother dies of cancer. From there, the story turns darker: a medical letter burned in a fireplace, a shocking life insurance policy, and a spiral into anger, addiction, and suicidal planning. He also describes a faith-centered breakthrough that brought peace and a dramatic physical change that reshaped how he saw his future.

We then unpack years of intimate partner violence against a man: public charm versus private cruelty, constant accusations, therapy used as a weapon, and the danger that spikes when someone decides to leave. We talk about the ripple effects on kids, the confusion that keeps families stuck, and how spiritual abuse and leadership control can retraumatize someone who’s already been through too much. If you’re looking for stories and language around domestic violence, coercive control, male victims of abuse, trauma recovery, and spiritual manipulation, this one goes there with honesty and hard-earned clarity.

Subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, and if this resonated, share it with someone who needs it and leave a rating and review to help more survivors find the show.

Tom’s Links: 

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/tom-snow/

https://just2beclear.com/

https://just2beclear1.substack.com/t/podcasts

https://www.instagram.com/just2beclear1

https://www.facebook.com/just2beclear

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DX2GZ9ZZ

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FCJ2Z2LN

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

Reporting an abuser is already difficult. For many survivors, the next terrifying question is: What happens if the abuser posts bail?

In this episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid speaks with David Stuckman, President of the Professional Bail Agents of the United States, who brings more than 35 years of experience in the bail industry—from bounty hunting to leading a national network of bail professionals.

Together we break down how the bail system actually works in domestic violence cases and what protections may be available for survivors.

You’ll learn:

• What happens after someone is arrested and posts bail
• The step-by-step bail bond process, including premiums and collateral
• How bail agents evaluate risk, family input, and criminal history
• Why many bail agents require no-contact orders, treatment, and employment conditions
• When a bail bondsman may refuse to write a bond
• The difference between algorithmic pretrial release and human judgment
• How GPS ankle monitors can alert survivors instantly if an offender gets too close
• Why prior strangulation dramatically increases homicide risk

David also shares real-world stories about refusing dangerous bonds, working with judges to place defendants into rehab, and enforcing strict bail conditions to protect communities.

For survivors and advocates, we discuss practical steps including:

• Victim notification systems
• Requesting stronger protective conditions
• Documenting violations
• Understanding your options when someone is released pretrial

This conversation sheds light on a system many people fear—but few understand.

If you’re a survivor, advocate, or simply want to understand how bail and victim safety intersect, this episode will give you clarity.

David’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/david-stuckman-2/

https://www.pbus.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@BailInTheMidwest

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

What if your body has been guiding you all along?

In this episode of the 1 in 3 Podcast, Ingrid sits down with Tara, a domestic violence survivor and intuitive healer, to explore how rebuilding self-trust after abuse begins in the body. We talk about nervous system regulation, energetic boundaries, and how to tell the difference between intuition and trauma-driven fear.

Tara shares her personal journey of carrying guilt and shame while helping others heal—and how the loss of her sister became a turning point in reclaiming her voice. Together, we unpack how early conditioning teaches many women to override their instincts, silence discomfort, and keep the peace at any cost.

You’ll learn:

• How to rebuild intuition after domestic violence
• The difference between ego urgency and calm inner knowing
• A simple body-lean practice to test your intuition
• Tara’s daily GCP method (ground, clear, protect) to reduce overwhelm
• Signs your energy is being drained in relationships
• How nervous system healing supports trauma recovery

Whether you’re navigating an abusive relationship, healing from long-term stress, or learning to trust yourself again, this conversation offers practical tools you can use immediately.

You are worthy of love, safety, and a life that feels like yours.

Subscribe, share with someone who needs this message, and leave a review to help more survivors find support.

Tara’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/tara-wiskow/

https://tara-wiskow.com/

https://www.facebook.com/BeTheChangeYouNeedToday

https://www.instagram.com/tara.wiskow/

https://www.tiktok.com/@tara_wiskow?_t=ZP-8tpbnaXsGkR&_r=1

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

Power doesn’t always leave a bruise.

In Episode 109 of the 1 in 3 Podcast, negotiation professor and relationship scientist Dr. Merideth Thompson breaks down the subtle but devastating patterns of emotional abuse, financial control, and gaslighting — and how they slowly erode self-trust.

We explore:

• Early signs of emotional control
• How gaslighting creates chronic self-doubt
• The hidden impact of financial abuse
• Why accountability is a clear marker of a safe partner
• Trauma-aware documentation strategies
• Rebuilding financial independence after years of control
• The 90-day rule for safer dating after abuse

Dr. Thompson blends research and lived experience to explain how relationships slide from “something feels off” to full coercive control — and how to interrupt that pattern early.

She is the founder of Partner Lab, a research-based company that uses data from relationship psychology to help people navigate relationship decision-making. Instead of relying on guesswork, Partner Lab applies evidence-based relationship science to provide practical tools for identifying healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics.

She also serves on the Survivor Advisory Board of Finability, a nonprofit that helps financially empower domestic abuse survivors.

Healing is possible. When control ends, life expands.

If this episode resonates, share it with someone who needs clarity, subscribe for more survivor-centered conversations, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Your story might be the lighthouse someone else is searching for.

Merideth’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/merideth-thompson-co/

https://www.mypartnerlab.co/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/merideth-j-thompson/

https://www.tiktok.com/@merideththompsonphd

https://www.mypartnerlab.co/ 

https://www.finability.org/ 

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

Reproductive coercion isn’t a misunderstanding — it’s abuse. In this episode of 1 in 3, Lynn joins Ingrid to break down how pregnancy pressure, sabotaged birth control, stealthing, and financial control strip away autonomy long before survivors recognize what’s happening.

We move beyond headlines to define reproductive coercion in real life:

• Stealthing and condom removal without consent
• Birth control sabotage
• Withholding money for abortion or prenatal care
• Guilt disguised as romance
• Pregnancy used as a control tactic

But coercion rarely ends there. Lynn explains how abuse escalates into financial abuse, post-separation abuse, and custody retaliation. We discuss how family court systems sometimes mislabel protective parents as “alienators,” how mandated reporters fail to act, and why children’s disclosures are too often minimized.

Lynn serves on the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s Southern Regional Advisory Committee and leads a Knowledge Exchange focused on legal literacy for survivors. Her policy goal: codify reproductive coercion in Texas and treat stealthing as sexual assault under the law.

This conversation offers:
 ✔ Clear definitions of reproductive abuse
 ✔ Practical steps for documentation
 ✔ Legal literacy tools for survivors
 ✔ How to find trauma-informed support
 ✔ How to teach teens about coercive control

If you’ve ever wondered whether pregnancy pressure “counts,” this episode gives language to what many families endure in silence.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share with someone who needs vocabulary for what they’ve lived.

Lynn’s Links: 

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/lynn-stroud/

https://www.instagram.com/knowledge_exch_abuse_survivors

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynn-s-16878b6/

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

 A life can begin in chaos and still choose compassion. 

In this powerful episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid sits down with Malisa to explore healing complex trauma shaped by childhood neglect, addiction, and domestic violence. Together, they unpack trauma not as a single event, but as years without safety—and why healing often begins with who showed up when it hurt.

Malisa shares how perfectionism, achievement, and “being the golden child” became survival strategies for many Gen X and elder millennials, and how unspoken expectations can create lifelong patterns of shame and betrayal. Using the Finding Peace method, archetypes, and clear language for emotional wounds—loss, neglect, betrayal—Malisa shows how naming pain helps triggers finally make sense.

This conversation also dives into nervous system regulation after burnout. Instead of labeling every low cycle as depression, Malisa reframes it as depletion—learning to anticipate emotional highs and lows, meet exhaustion with rest and warmth, and build a repeatable self-care toolkit without judgment.

We talk about:

• Healing complex trauma without self-blame
• Nervous system regulation and burnout recovery
• Shame, self-forgiveness, and emotional neglect
• Somatic tools to return to the body
• Breaking generational cycles and changing family scripts
• Why your worth was never up for debate

This episode is for anyone healing from childhood trauma, emotional neglect, or chronic burnout—and learning how to love themselves with more ease.

If this resonates, follow 1 in 3, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations.

Malisa’s Links: 

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/malisa-hepner/

https://empoweredwithmalisahepner.org/

https://open.spotify.com/show/09lCA0fq3845NGMDwMvMRt?si=1fc6867ab8cc41d8&nd=1&dlsi=02a37d9fb8fc455e

https://www.instagram.com/malisa.hepner/?hl=en

https://linktr.ee/Mdhepner

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

What if confronting masculinity required stepping inside it?

In this episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid sits down with artist Christopher Quigley, whose immersive traveling installation asks men and boys to physically experience how power, consent, and violence are learned—and how quickly harm can unfold.

Across eight sound-sealed bathroom stalls, participants are immersed in scenarios shaped by locker room culture, coercive language, and exhaustion that blurs consent. From a stall where misogyny is passed through jokes and laughter, to the “71 No's” consent experience that challenges the idea of a pressured yes, to the chilling “21-Second” stall that reveals how fast violence can escalate, this work forces reflection not just in the mind—but in the body.

The conversation expands beyond art into prevention, economics, and policy. We unpack the real financial cost of domestic violence, why prevention outperforms awareness campaigns, and how education—especially for legal and community gatekeepers—can interrupt coercive control before it becomes physical harm.

This is art as public health. Art as accountability. And art as a catalyst for cultural change.

Subscribe, share, and leave a review to help more people find this conversation—and help accelerate the erosion of harm.

Christopher’s Links:

https://www.alchemiaartworkshop.org/

https://www.tiktok.com/@alchemiaart

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

What role do men play in ending domestic violence—and why does their silence matter?

In this episode of 1 in 3 Podcast, attorney and former prosecutor Anthony Pasquini joins Ingrid for a candid conversation about male accountability, allyship, and the power of everyday intervention. Anthony shares the moment that shifted his work from the courtroom to community advocacy, after noticing how quickly men disengaged from conversations about abuse.

Together, the discussion explores how abuse escalates from subtle control to coercion and violence when harmful behaviors go unchallenged. Anthony offers practical, realistic ways men can interrupt that cycle—without grandstanding—by setting boundaries, shutting down objectifying language, checking in when something feels off, and choosing empathy over silence.

The episode also highlights WINGS, a Chicago-area organization providing safe housing for survivors, children, and pets, along with education on domestic violence, strangulation, and traumatic brain injuries. Anthony explains why memory gaps in survivors may reflect injury rather than inconsistency—and why this understanding is critical for law enforcement, prosecutors, and healthcare providers.

If you’ve ever wondered how to help someone experiencing abuse, this episode offers a grounded framework: be safe, be clear, be steady. You don’t need to be a survivor to stand with survivors—and you don’t need a platform to make a difference.

Anthony’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/anthony-pasquini/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61584143305857

https://www.linkedin.com/in/anthony-pasquini-1a7924238/

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe

One in three women will experience domestic violence. But what happens when the survivor wears a badge?

In this episode of 1 in 3, Ingrid speaks with Mia, a law enforcement officer who entered policing at 21 and was groomed, isolated, and assaulted by a senior officer who framed abuse as “consent” and control as “lifestyle.” Her story exposes how coercive control works behind closed doors and inside institutions meant to protect.

We break down the dangerous overlap between domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking, and why survivors are so often failed when systems treat these crimes as separate issues. Mia explains how compliance is rewarded, resistance is punished, and identity is slowly erased until survival is mistaken for choice.

This conversation explores:

• Coercive control and grooming in intimate partner violence
• Why “she could have left” is a myth rooted in misunderstanding trauma
• How trafficking doesn’t always involve money—status, access, and dominance are “things of value”
• Evidence beyond DNA: strangulation markers, threats to career, financial abuse, digital trails, and witness grooming
• Probable cause vs. proof beyond a reasonable doubt and why totality of circumstances matters

Mia also introduces the Valkyrie Warrior Movement, a training initiative focused on trauma-informed investigations, lethality assessments, and survivor-centered practices for law enforcement, healthcare providers, and allied professionals.

For survivors inside and outside the system, this episode delivers a powerful reminder: shame belongs to abusers, not survivors—and help is worth pursuing until you find it.

If this episode resonates, please subscribe, share, and leave a review. Your voice helps others find safety—and accountability.

Mia’s Links:

https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/mia-shagena/

https://www.valkyriemovement.org/

https://www.instagram.com/valkyriewarriormovement/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mia-shagena-116ab4233/

This podcast is intended for mature audiences. Some listeners may find the content distressing as episodes may include discussions of violence, human trafficking, and other forms of abuse, including emotional, psychological, sexual, financial, and physical. In many cases, names have been changed to protect those involved. Please note that the statements and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily reflect my own.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need immediate support, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting START to 88788. If you're outside the United States, crisis resources are available at BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com/GetHelp.

Connect with Beyond the Statistics:

🌐 Website: https://www.BeyondTheStatisticsPodcast.com

📧 Email: [email protected]

📱 Follow on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, TikTok, YouTube, and X: @BeyondStatsPod

If today's conversation meant something to you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode. Every story shared helps another survivor know they are not alone.

Music: Tim Crowe