Why do we sometimes react so strongly to situations that seem small in hindsight?

Strong reactions are often blamed on stress, personality, or a lack of emotional control.

But research suggests something simpler and more practical is often at play:  a lack of precise language for what we’re actually feeling.

In this episode, we delve into how language influences emotional experience, why vague feelings often lead to intense reactions, and how accurately naming emotions supports emotional regulation, self-awareness, and healthier responses.

Drawing on the work of Brené Brown, Susan David’s research on emotional agility, and Karla McLaren’s work on emotional literacy, this conversation examines emotions as information rather than problems to be fixed. You’ll learn:

This episode is for anyone who feels reactive at times, gets triggered easily, or wants more clarity and choice in how they respond, without turning emotions into a big project!

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Stay in touch!  Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication

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Beyond the Type podcast episode on the Enneagram Centers of Intelligence:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149055083

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Brené Brown - Strong Ground (book)
https://amzn.to/4pJ4NVB

Susan David - Emotional Agility (book)
https://amzn.to/4pDndXC

Karla McLaren - (emotional vocabulary list)
https://karlamclaren.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/Emotional-Vocabulary-List.pdf

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reacting strongly, emotional reactions, emotional regulation, emotional language, naming emotions, emotional vocabulary, emotional awareness, emotional agility, emotional literacy, nervous system regulation, self-awareness, managing emotional reactions, getting triggered, emotional triggers, overreacting emotionally, responding instead of reacting, stress responses, emotional overwhelm, communication skills, relational awareness, healthier communication, personal growth, emotional intelligence, self-regulation skills, workplace communication, relationship dynamics, Enneagram, centers of intelligence

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Some links may be affiliate links, which means I earn a percentage of sales from that link. As always, I appreciate your support!

Manifesting isn’t magic. It’s mental training. Your brain is already rehearsing the future. The question is:  Is it rehearsing the future you want...?

In this episode, we’re talking about manifesting, mindset, and vision boards, without the woo and without the magical thinking. We’re grounding this conversation in neuroscience, psychology, and real-world practice.

Drawing on the work of neurosurgeon James Doty, neuroscientist Tara Swart, and insights from Jonathan Hammond, we examine how attention, emotional rehearsal, and expectation influence behavior over time.

This episode isn’t about passive wishing or pretending the future is already here. It’s about training your mind and nervous system the same way athletes rehearse for performance, so action feels more natural and less forced.

If you’re curious about manifesting as a mental training tool, creating vision boards that actually work, and adopting a smarter mindset for the New Year that can coexist alongside your goals (or even precede them), this conversation is for you.

About your host:

🔹Hi!  I'm Sandy, and I’m a holistic communication and relationship coach; some clients call me a "people whisperer". I'm dedicated to helping you understand yourself and others better so you can communicate with confidence, clarity, and compassion.
🔹I’m also a mentor coach and love helping brand-new coaches with their coaching skills. 
🏳️‍🌈 Proud to support LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities 🏳️‍🌈

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90-minute Visioning Session with Sandy: Visioning Session
https://tinyurl.com/465jdpfz

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Beyond the Type podcast episode on realistic goal setting:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149057729

Beyond the Type podcast episode on safety:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149114211

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Dr. James Doty - Mind Magic
https://amzn.to/49cPKOE

Dr. Tara Swart - The Source
https://amzn.to/44tVSiY

Jonathan Hammond - The Shaman's Mind
https://amzn.to/48DvMwm

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Stay in touch!  Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication

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manifesting, New Year's mindset, vision boards, action boards, mental rehearsal, neuroscience of manifesting, James Doty, Mind Magic, Tara Swart, The Source, Jonathan Hammond, The Shaman’s Mind, manifesting science, intention setting, alternatives to resolutions, mindset training, nervous system, personal growth, practical manifesting, mental training, mindset shift, manifestation techniques, goal alternatives, brain training, emotional rehearsal, focus and attention, positive habit formation, new year practices, manifestation without woo, subconscious training, aligned action, Enneagram

Some links may be affiliate links, which means I earn a percentage of sales from that link. As always, I appreciate your support!

Ever wonder why certain reactions feel automatic, even when you know better? In this episode, we explore the Enneagram passions:  Those emotional patterns beneath each type that quietly shape how we communicate, react, and relate.

We'll get into where the passions came from and why they’re sometimes called the seven deadly sins plus two;  we'll also walk through each passion for each type - and I'll talk about how noticing your own passion can help you type yourself more accurately and show up with a little more awareness in everyday conversations, at work, and at home.

Stay in touch!  Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication

Since the holidays are coming (and politics somehow always sneaks onto the table...I'm looking at you, Uncle Jim), now is the perfect moment to learn how to bring safety back when things get tense.

In this episode, we dive into the thing that makes or breaks every conversation you care about: safety. This is the foundation of healthy communication, conflict resolution, and staying grounded when conversations get a little… "spicy".

We'll explore:

• How to notice early signs that safety is at risk
• How the nervous system reacts when conversations feel unsafe
• The behaviors that show up in others when safety drops
• Simple communication skills that help restore safety
• How each Enneagram type reacts when safety disappears

If you want easier conversations, fewer emotional landmines, and more grounded communication during the holidays and beyond, this episode will give you practical tools you can use right away.

My Communicate with Confidence Through the Lens of the Enneagram group coaching program opens again in spring 2026, and this episode gives you a preview of one of the key tools we use inside the program. Learn more about this program here:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication

The Yoga Nidra Meditation podcast episode can be found here.

Find the Crucial Conversations book here:
https://amzn.to/4oLvDwz 

Stay in touch!  Sign up for my newsletter here and receive my 9 Ways to Communicate Better guide:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication

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communication skills, conflict resolution, emotional safety, difficult conversations, nervous system, healthy communication, holiday stress, family conflict, Crucial Conversations, staying grounded, Enneagram, managing tension, talking politics, communication tools, restoring safety, safer conversations, self-awareness, conflict reduction, communication coaching, relationship skills

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Some links may be affiliate links, which means I earn a percentage of sales from that link. As always, I appreciate your support!

How to use Nonviolent Communication for calmer, more confident holiday conversations.

Tired of tiptoeing around family or coworkers during the holidays? This episode will get you ready for those holiday conversations that sometimes go sideways. I’m talking about the moments when you want to stay kind, but you also want to remain honest.

We’ll dive into Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, and how it can help you speak clearly and compassionately.  You’ll learn the simple OFNR framework (Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests) and hear real examples that make this framework come alive.

I’ll also share how each Enneagram type might get tripped up along the way when it comes to using the NVC framework.

If you’ve ever wished for calmer, more authentic conversations—especially around the holidays—this one’s for you.

My Communicate with Confidence Through the Lens of the Enneagram group coaching program opens again in spring 2026, and this episode gives you a preview of one of the key tools we use inside the program. Learn more about this program here:

https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication

communication skills, NVC, Nonviolent Communication, Enneagram, emotional intelligence, confidence, relationships, coaching, conflict resolution, holidays

How stepping away from screens can open up meaning, creativity, and deeper connection.  We’ve trained ourselves to fill every quiet moment with screens, but research shows boredom isn’t the enemy - it’s a hidden superpower.

In this episode, we talk about what happens in your brain when you stop scrolling, how screens fuel anxiety and distraction, and why boredom might be the secret to more creativity and calm.

Drawing from research by Harvard professor Arthur Brooks and Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, we explore why boredom matters and how constant screen time impacts your creativity, mood, and relationships.

You’ll hear about the science behind your brain’s "default mode network," the mental health effects of phone use, and practical steps to bring more stillness—and meaning—back into your day.

You’ll learn:

Why boredom sparks creativity and reduces anxiety

What research says about phone use and mental health

How to create small "boredom breaks" in your day

Easy ways to reduce screen time without a full digital detox

Mindfulness practices to feel more present and connected

If you’ve been craving more focus, calm, and genuine connection, this one’s for you!

Download my free Communication Guide:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication 

Learn more about my group coaching program, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication 

Keywords: boredom, phone addiction, screen time, mindfulness, digital detox, Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation, creativity, emotional wellness, relationships, communication skills, coaching podcast, self-awareness

This 20-minute guided yoga nidra meditation helps your nervous system regulate and relax, restoring a deep sense of safety and calm in your body.

In this session, you’ll be guided through a short rotation of consciousness (body scan) and a series of vivid images designed to bring calm, curiosity, and balance to your whole being. You’ll explore both ease and discomfort, learning how to stay present and grounded - instead of reactive.

This meditation is perfect for anyone seeking to practice being non-reactive in conversations, stress relief, or a few moments of deep rest and reconnection with the body.

Use it:

Before sleep or rest

After a tough day or challenging conversation

Anytime during your day to build emotional resilience and embodied safety.

This meditation was created for the students in my course, Communicate with Confidence through the Lens of the Enneagram.  We took a deep dive into safety, feeling safe in conversations, triggers, and how to regulate the nervous system.  Because when safety is missing, communication suffers.  Safety first, people!
To learn more and to get notified when I will next offer this program, visit:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication

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About your host:

🔹Hi!  I'm Sandy, and I’m a holistic communication and relationship coach; some clients call me a "people whisperer". I'm dedicated to helping you understand yourself and others better so you can communicate with confidence, clarity, and compassion.
🔹I’m also a mentor coach and love helping brand-new coaches with their coaching skills. 
🏳️‍🌈 Proud to support LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities 🏳️‍🌈
🔹Download my free Communication Guide here:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/communication 

Yoga Nidra, Nervous system regulation, Guided meditation, Stress relief, Somatic awareness, Deep rest, Mindfulness, Emotional regulation, Safety, Holistic coaching

Most people don’t struggle with communication because of the big moments—it’s the small, sneaky habits that trip us up. In this episode, you’ll uncover five common communication habits that quietly sabotage clarity and connection, and learn simple swaps to replace them.  Whether you’re navigating tough conversations at work or at home, these tools will help you feel more confident, clear, and authentic. I’ll even touch on how certain Enneagram types can fall into these traps in unique ways, because we gotta bring the Big E into the conversation!

GROUP COACHING PROGRAM 
Whether you're navigating work dynamics, deepening a relationship, or simply trying to express yourself without spiraling into overthinking or overreacting, this program will provide you with tools, insights, and guided support to communicate in a way that actually works. Learn more here:
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/bettercommunication

Because nobody likes reactive or awkward conversations.

In this episode, I’m diving into the myths and pitfalls of communication and sharing the science and coaching tools that actually help us connect.
You’ll hear why words aren’t the whole story, how body awareness can stop reactive conversations in their tracks, and why presence is the most underrated communication superpower.

You'll learn:

Why clarity doesn’t equal agreement (and how this shows up in everyday life - including my life on LinkedIn - yikes!)

The dangers of reacting vs. responding (and how to pause in the body)

Simple coaching tools like looping back, reflecting, and naming the point of the conversation

How nonviolent communication transforms “you always” into real connection

Why presence makes conversations magical

I'll also offer 4 simple tools that you can use in your conversations today.  These are communication techniques I teach in my group coaching programs and with my private coaching clients.  All yours for the taking!

And… a teaser! As you know, one of my favorite tools for self-growth and communication is the Enneagram. Each of the nine types or "energies" has unique communication strengths and blind spots, and I’ll cover all of them in my upcoming free live training. Save your spot for this free training here: 
https://www.swansoncoaching.com/training

Thanks for listening, and please share this with a friend, coworker, or family member who may benefit from hearing this episode!

Ever feel like you’ve got a tiny judge (or a giant gray monster) sitting on your shoulder with a megaphone? That’s your inner critic, and it has a different script for each Enneagram type. In this episode, we'll look at how the voice of judgment shows up for all 9 types, from the Type 1’s perfection police to the Type 9’s chill hippie dude.

You’ll also learn 7 practical (and fun!) practices to loosen the critic’s grip, like personifying it, reassigning its job, forgiving yourself through the body, and even giving your critic a silly operatic voice (yes, there may be bad singing in this episode. You have been warned).

This episode is equal parts funny and real, because let’s face it, living with an inner critic is exhausting! If you’re ready to stop letting that voice run your life, this one’s for you.

FREE TRAINING
Want to be less reactive? Want to understand your partner or your manager better? I’m offering a free training on the Enneagram, relationships, and communication styles.

In this training, I'll be talking about the 3 pathways to more effective communication as well as the 9 distinct energies of the Enneagram.  I'll also be offering lots of tips and ideas for communicating with each type.

Learn more at https://www.swansoncoaching.com/training.