Big Feelings: 90 Day Fiance

Well, friends, we did it.  We made it through a full season of the baroque, romantic nihilism that is "90 Day Fiancee".  Thank you so much for joining us on this journey.  It helped us through the pandemic.  We hope that, in whatever small way, it did the same for you.

All Music by Sean Cone

Sean and Lo put on frayed black sweaters and black lipstick and dive into the nihilism that is episode 16, part 1 of the tell-all.  Lo perks up from her depression spiral when talk turns to plastic surgery and the tater tot that used to be Yara's nose.  Sean and Lo pull up a seat with Mike and Natalie for the weirdest box lunch ever to be referred to as a "7"

We had slight technical difficulties which compromised our sound quality.  It is a potato. Like Yara's nose.

It's the (poorly planned) travel episode!! Sean and Lo pop into the Serbian Cecil to check in on Amira. Spoiler alert: she's not ok.  Lo is distressed by Jovi's circuitous route to Vegas and the proliferation of Diner-saurs along the way. They follow Natalie's mystifying journey around Puget Sound with Tamara. They zoom off to Belize to hold Stephanie's novelty clutch and help her remain upright whilst Harris climbs a tree for her. Finally they end their journey at the La Quinta Inn in Virginia Beach, VA where they check in on Hazel's bachelorette party.  They receive a reward for their perseverance in the form of buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttt.

Sean and Lo share a puke-scented early morning cab ride to the airport with Yara and Jovi, they land at Sequim International airport and rush to help Tamara clean out her car so she can fit Natalie's luggage inside after 90 Day Fiancee's WETTEST REVEAL EVER. Tarik and Hazel are still in the event horizon of the Minty vortex.

Sean and Lo say yes to wedding dress shopping with Julia, Natalie, and Yara. They go over to the men's section of the boutique to check on Tarik, but he doesn't need anyone's help to dress himself, much to Sean's chagrin.  They strap on their tactical gear and get ready to lob hand grenades at strippers for Jovi's bachelor party.  They learn that hand grenades are a beverage and that tactical vests are a great accessory for an evening at the Penthouse Club.  So many pockets for those one dollar bills!  Tarik and Hazel are around somewhere fighting about Minty.  The Stephanie and Harris situation is become more indiscernible from the film "Driving Miss Daisy" with every moment they're on screen.  

Sean and Lo stagger under the weight of Betty's bizarre lasagna, but decide they'd like catfish instead so they head over to Tarik and Hazel's. With their bellies full they join Zied's already in progress horse-petting bachelor party, which is crashed by Mike and Natalie.  Sean, Lo, and Zied watch in horror as Mike and Natalie bring their own rotting corpse of a horse to the party and refuse to stop beating it. 

Sean and Lo can't defeat Brandon "The Pull Out King" at Jenga.  They grab a pug and head to Belize to see if they can yank Stephunie out of the Valley of the Dolls.  After leaving her in the capable hands of Ry-Harris, they head on up to the bayou to go to Yara and Jovi's not-wedding-party.  No one pukes on Yara so they call it a night.

Sean and Lo spend alot of time talking about scallops and the mystifying eyebrows of Jane the Hairdresser.  Everyone is still horrible.

Sean and Lo pull up a chair with Ron, Betty and Brandon and dip vegan chicken wings in ranch as Brandon finagles his way into sharing a bed with Julia.  They admire Jenna's henna freestyling skills as Yara and Jovi continue to sh*t on each other. Moist Incel Andrew continues to try to lure Amira to Serbia because he needs 2 more stamps on his vicarious detention center punch card before he can get his free soft serve.  Apricot lets another shitty secret slip out like a fart in an elevator.  Sean and Lo get to spend time with their new boyfriend Xavier.  Surely Tarik and Hazel would approve.  Mike and Natalie look for some sort of spray to combat the smell in Mike's closet, only to learn that there is nothing money can buy that will conceal the aroma of their decomposing relationship.

Check out our dramatization of Brandon, Ron and Betty's restaurant scene on TikTok!  @bigfeelingspod

Sean and Lo take a break from the slots to have dinner with Mike, Natalie and Trish.  They grab a few complimentary hand towels and head on down to PeeVee to touch the ocean with Andrew. They hop in a super shuttle to pick up Jovi from the airport with Yara.  Stephanie demonstrates the inefficacy of the shutterfly face mask.  Sean and Lo masquerade as bovine hydrotherapy patients in an attempt to infiltrate the petting zoo from hell and rescue their beloved Julia.