Big Mama's House Podcast

What can we ALL do to reduce device time? (Parents too!) Strategies to reduce phone pickups via using Do Not Disturb and using gamification (kids v parents) to see who can use their devices for the least amount of time. We also debate the usefulness of Apple Watches (Big Mama is NOT convinced).

Co-host: Big Mama's cousin George

• How to reduce phone pickups
• Stupid trivia activity usage stats
• Apple Watch - yes or no
• How George's children became vicious CandyLand players. What's up, Princess Frosty Face?
• Create a competition between kids and parents on device usage (spoiler alert - kids will probably win)
• Board games George and his family love
• Why just the term Do Not Disturb triggers anxiety & marital strife in George's house
• Why Big Mama isn't a fan of Apple Watches
• Why parents shouldn't be texting kids during the school day
• Kids are already under immense pressure - added pings and notifications make life more dramatic and complicated
• Using dumb/flip phones as a partial solution
• George catches himself getting distracted by the SILENCE coming from his phone.
• Getting stuck in a reward loop
• Putting your phone, in a different room

Links to products mentioned:

• BOARD GAME: WingSpan" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Wingspan
• BOARD GAME: Ticket To Ride" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Ticket to Ride
• BOARD GAME: Hues and Cues" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Hues & Cues

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're sick of getting yelled at about your phone use, but your parents are doing the same things, this episode will give you some strategies in how you can confront your parents (in a good way) about your THEIR device overuse. Also: download the Teen Family Contract to give to your parents.

Co-host: Big Mama's cousin George

We know that most adults are just as addicted to their devices as their children. The rule at the dinner table is no phones - but somehow dad or mom have theirs because they're "working." The idea that only kids are making mistakes with technology is absurd. George reveals his 3.5 day usage on his phone showed that he "picked-up" his phone 469 times. Why? His son, Luke, confronted him about his device usage in a way that stopped George in his tracks and made him more aware of his phone usage.

Download:

Big Mama put together a family contract written from a teen's perspective which kids can use to confront their parents in a positive way. It includes items like: I can't pause a live game, and please ask me before posting pictures of me on your social media. You can download the teen family contract here.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A new season, a new beginning. Too many parents either don't engage or don't believe that their teens (and elementary school kids) are suffering. That’s why Season 2 of my podcast, and all future seasons will be focused directly to the students - to teenagers. If we’re going to make even the slightest dent in digital safety we need help from a population who doesn’t need to be “convinced” that there’s a problem in the first place.  

Kids - make your parents listen to this episode. Here's what they'll hear:

• Your children want YOU, they want you to spend more time with them.
• Your children want for you to SEE them, to care about what’s going on in their lives. 
• They want you to use YOUR phone less, to listen when they’re trying to talk to you.
• They want you to STOP posting about THEM on your social media. 
• They want you to STOP asking them to pause a LIVE GAME 
• They’ll do almost anything to avoid “getting in trouble” including giving in to an online predator’s threats. 
• They want you to know that they’re under immense mental health pressure. 
• They want to stop being used as the world’s scapegoat - the nonsensical idea that kids are the only ones struggling with device usage. As if parents aren’t just as addicted - because they are. 

And as always -

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• Show: Web of Lies    Network: Investigation Discovery
  Season 1: Episode 6  Farmville Horror
  Premiered 2/12/2014
  https://www.investigationdiscovery.com/tv-shows/web-of-lies/full-episodes/farmville-horror
• Bay Area suspect allegedly bludgeoned victims
  https://www.sfgate.com/crime/article/Bay-Area-suspect-allegedly-bludgeoned-victims-3217121.php
• Quadruple-murder suspect’s sister has received death threats over Virginia slayings
  https://www.mercurynews.com/2009/09/25/quadruple-murder-suspects-sister-has-received-death-threats-over-virginia-slayings/  
• UPDATE: Details emerge about weapons used in Farmville killings
  www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/young_calif._man_indicted_for_farmville_killings/303376/P0/    
• Services held for Farmville slaying victims
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM041_20091003-222407/297346/
• Services held for slain Longwood professor
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/article/FARMGAT03_20091003-164201/297261/
• Father made futile trip in search for slain daughter
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM30_20090929-222402/296385/
• The unfolding of a cruel crime in Farmville, and a strange one
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM27_20090926-221606/295789/
• A timeline of the Farmville killings
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM27G1_20090926-195801/295730/
• Farmville suspect told of confrontation, cab driver says
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM26_20090925-222606/295597/
• Slain W.Va. teenager mourned at service
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM26S1_20090925-222201/295585/
• Suspect told cabbie he confronted girlfriend
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/suspect_told_cabbie_he_confronted_girlfriend_over_text_message/295462/
• Rapper, suspect's mother provide slayings case details
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM251_20090924-232001/295416/
• Slain pastor remembered as gifted and compassionate
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM251S1_20090924-233803/295422/
• Services for Farmville slaying victims begin today
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARMGAT24_20090924-062601/295167/
• Graveside service scheduled today for slain pastor
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM24S1_20090923-221002/295108/
• Gruesome music genre becomes subject of scrutiny
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM24_20090923-222604/295120/
• Police tell of encounters with Farmville suspect
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM231_20090922-233601/294871/
• Teen victims were drawn to macabre music
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/site_elements/tags/tag/farmville+killings/
• Farmville victims died from blunt force trauma
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/farmville_victims_died_from_head_injuries/294667/
• Suspect's sister expresses remorse in Farmville slayings
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM221_20090921-235202/294638/
• Excerpts: Farmville suspect's sister writes
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM22S_20090921-222608/294591/
• Calif. police raid home of quadruple murder suspect
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/hearing_for_man_accused_in_farmville_slayings_to_be_held_by_video_conferenc/294463/
• Appomattox church fondly recalls slain pastor
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM21S1_20090920-223603/294428/
• Police look at role lyrics may have had in slayings
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/FARM21_20090920-223409/294416/
• Longwood professor ‘loved her work'
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/article/FARM20S1_20090919-222405/294216/
• Suspect may have been in contact via Internet with professor's daughter
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/state_regional/article/FARM20S2_20090919-222603/294224/
• Suspect arrested in four Farmville slayings
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/article/FARMUP_20090919-234403/294271/
• Quadruple slaying suspect arrested at Richmond airport
  https://web.archive.org/web/20110828131950/http://www2.timesdispatch.com/rtd/news/local/crime/article/four_bodies_found_in_farmville_home/294109/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Liner Notes

• How the pandemic has disrupted our routines, and how the lack of routine impacts children. Listen to episode #1….
• Jean Twenge website
• Monitoring the Future Survey – website
• The UnLonely Project - website
• Adam Leventhal – psychologist at USC

To learn more about Internet Safety, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download resources and more.
 

To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse

------------------------------------------------------------

Episode Highlights

• How the pandemic has impacted time management
• Lessons learned from the stay at home order
• We are all expendable
• Time is the only constant in life
• Time is the only currency that matters
• Allocating our “time expenses”
• Dunkin Donuts coffee versus Starbucks coffee
• Increased content consumption because of the pandemic
• Increased device time because of the pandemic
• Why I can’t watch national morning shows anymore
• How news delivery had changed our tolerance for facts
• The impact of device time on young brains
• Children born between 1995 and 2012 are the loneliest people on the planet
• How loneliness can shorten your life span
• Rising rates of depression among children
• Social media use increases rates of depression and anxiety
• Screen time is linked to diminished mental health
• Reading on PAPER improves mental health outcomes and improves development and health of physical structures in the brain
• How device use impacts sleep among teens
• Impact of device time on the brain development of preschoolers
• Impact of device time on long-term development of 8 to 12 year olds
• How smartphone use among adolescents may trigger ADHD like symptoms and changes the brain
• How screen-based activities make teens less happy
• The Unlonely Project and using creative pursuits and bibliotherapy to improve mental health
• Tips and tricks for parents to improve the mental health of their children
• Tips and tricks for educators to improve the mental health of their student

------------------------------------------------------------

Sources

Horowitz-Kraus, Tzipi, and John S. Hutton. “Brain Connectivity in Children Is Increased by the Time They Spend Reading Books and Decreased by the Length of Exposure to Screen-Based Media.” Acta Paediatrica, vol. 107, no. 4, 2017, pp. 685–693., doi:10.1111/apa.14176.

Hutton, John S., et al. “Associations Between Screen-Based Media Use and Brain White Matter Integrity in Preschool-Aged Children.” JAMA Pediatrics, vol. 174, no. 1, 2020, doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2019.3869.

Leventhal, Adam M., “Digital Media Use and ADHD Symptoms” JAMA. 2018 12 25; 320(24):2599-2600.

Meldrum, Ryan.C, J.C. Barnes, and Carter Hay. “Sleep Deprivation, Low Self-Control, and Delinquency: A Test of the Strength Model of Self-Control.” Journal of Youth and Adolescence 44.2 (2013): 465-77.

Ryan, Richard M., Deci, Edward L. “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being,” American Psychologist, January 2000. 

Schrobsdorff, Susanna. “Anxiety, depression, and the modern adolescent.” Time, November 7, 2016. 

Tarokh, Leila, Jared M. Saletin, and Mary A. Carskadon. “Sleep in adolescence: Physiology, cognition and mental health.” Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews 70 (2016): 182-88.

Telzer, Eva H., Andrew J. Fuligni, Matthew D. Lieberman, and Adriana Galvan, “The effects of poor quality sleep on brain function and risk taking in adolescence.” NeuroImage 71 (2013): 275-283.

Twenge, Jean M. IGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood: and What That Means for the Rest of Us. Atria Paperback, 2018.

Weinberger, Jesse The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket, 2nd ed.OvernightGeek, 2019

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Just for members of the Big Mama's House Fan Club. Use this link to download the three page cheat sheet made specifically for this episode - including minute-by-minute breakdown of the episode as well as internet safety tips and tricks checklists for both parents and schools. 

Episode Highlights

• The impact of the pandemic on schools and educators
• How schools are accidentally putting children at risk via social media
• Best practices for schools using Facebook and Twitter
• Mental health impact of the pandemic on students
• Tips for helping children with their anxiety
• Two resources available online related to children, mental health, and the pandemic
• How hashtags on school-based social media posts can put children at risk
• Link between device time and diminished mental health
• BOOK: iGen by Jean Twenge
• BOOK: The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
• Connection between device use and neuroplasticity and tech addiction.

SOURCES

• Berinato, Scott. “That Discomfort You're Feeling Is Grief.” Harvard Business Review, 16 Apr. 2020, hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief.
   
• Coyle, Daniel. The Talent Code Greatness Isn't Born. It's Grown. Arrow, 2010.
   
• Julian, Story by  Kate. “What Happened to American Childhood?” The Atlantic, Atlantic Media Company, 27 Apr. 2020, www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/05/childhood-in-an-anxious-age/609079/.
   
• Twenge, Jean M. IGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy--and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood: and What That Means for the Rest of Us. Atria Paperback, 2018.

REFERENCES

• Facebook Rant – mentioned in the episode
• Video morning announcements- mentioned in the episode
• COPPA Law – learn more about the FTC’s COPPA law here
• CIPA Law – learn more about the FCC’s CIPA law here
   
• To learn more about this Internet Safety Podcast, internet safety and parenting, and more, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download school resources, parent resources, and more.
   
• To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode Highlights

In an effort to increase student and community engagement, schools may accidentally be putting student’s privacy and data at risk when using social media and livestreaming apps. In this internet safety podcast you will hear 

• the hardest part of travelling all over the US to work as an Internet Safety Speaker for schools
• why Big Mama thinks that Guidance Counselors are the unsung heroes of all K-12 buildings
• why you’re a chump if you buy $100 yoga pants
• the reality of what’s happening in schools across this country
• an ode to educators everywhere
• how COPPA and CIPA laws are being accidentally disregarded
• how your children are being put at risk as a result
• an interview with the amazing Amanda Clapp, Esq – in-house counsel at Neola.com – a firm which specializes in helping navigate, write, and maintain legal school policy for over 1500 school districts in 6 states
• Big Mama cries like a giant dork (13:17)

Mentioned in the episode

Amanda Clapp, Esq
In-house Counsel Neola.com - - a firm which specializes in helping schools navigate legal policy for over 1,500 school districts in 6 states. 

NEOLA- 3914 Clock Pointe Trail, Suite 103 - Stow, OH 44224
Phone: (330) 926-0514
www.neola.com

• Facebook Rant – mentioned in the episode
• Video morning announcements - mentioned in the episode

References

• COPPA Law – learn more about the FTC’s COPPA law here
• CIPA Law – learn more about the FCC’s CIPA law here
  
   
• To learn more about this Internet Safety Podcast, internet safety and parenting, and more, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download school resources, parent resources, and more.
• To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In 2016 a 13 year old girl from Virginia thought that the older boy, a college student she met online, who attended a well-respected university, was her boyfriend. They first chatted for months on social media including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and the now shut down Kik. They met in person only twice, and she never came home from their second date. She was found, murdered, 4 days later dumped on the side of the road. 

SOURCES

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we will cover the following: 

• Having THE TALK with your children
• Understanding the fact that kids are now starting to watch porn at 8 years old, porn addiction now begins at 11 years old, that children are not allowed to have any social media under the age of 13 per Federal guidelines (COPPA)
• Child brain development and impulse control
• Having a “good kid” is irrelevant
• Checklist of questions for parents
• Interview with Susan Moran, Esq - Criminal defense attorney - covering juvenile sexting charges and what you need to know as a parent
• What two police officers think about Big Mama’s rule: Keep your mouth shut until your attorney arrives
• Review of seven recent sexting, sexual predation, sextortion cases
• Is Teen Vogue really encouraging children to create child pornography?
• Quick review of six Teen Vogue articles on sexting
• Big Mama shares data collected from her live presentations including what 2,826 elementary school children have to say about device ownership, sexting, consuming pornography, and what the biggest issue is among their friends
• Tips for parents to try to prevent sexting in their own homes

Remember - Parenting is hard. Be kind yourself. 

----------------------------------------

Thank you to guest: Susan Moran, Esq

Criminal defense attorney in Ohio

Office: 440-617-1528

Cell: 216-965-5763

[email protected]

National Center on Sexual Exploitation

www.endsexualexploitation.org

To learn more about Internet Safety, go to the START HERE document where you can watch videos, download resources and more.
 

If you're already a member of the Big Mama's House Podcast, go to the channel and grab the fans-only downloadable cheat sheet and checklist document which accompanies this episode.

To learn more about joining the Big Mama’s House Fan Club go to www.Patreon.com/BigMamasHouse

---------------------------------------

Sources

Criminal cases mentioned 

• Nov 2019 - Neche, ND man sentenced to 60 years for sexual exploitation of a minor, possession, distribution of child pornography
• March 2, 2020 - EHT Man Pleads Guilty to Distributing Child Porn
• July 2019 – Nanticoke man charged with sexting girl, 11
• Jan 2020 Ex-teacher arrested on sexting allegations
• February 15, 2020 - Fortnite predator exploited Mid-Columbia kids through Xbox. How to protect your children
• May 1, 2020 - Fontana man, 32, arrested after attempting to meet 10-year-old girl for sex 
• November 2019 - Court document: Man arrested for possessing child porn; reported by SnapChat, Comcast

Teen Vogue Articles

• 5/23/11 Can Sexting Get You Arrested? 
• 1/2/14 Yet Another Reason to Think Before You Sext: Pedophile Porn Sites Are Stealing Girls' Pics 
• 4/13/17 How to Sext: The Best Tips and Tricks. Read up. 
• 5/2/19 When Is It Safe to Send a Partner Nude Photos?
• 3/18/20 Dating and Coronavirus: Can You Still Kiss, Have Sex, and Go on Dates During Social Distancing?
• 4/3/20 Everybody's Horny and Thirst Trapping Like There's No Tomorrow Because of the Coronavirus Pandemic

--------------------------------------------------

Student Data

First: How many 3rd to 6th graders have a social media account? 

Out of those 2,826 students, they have a combined total of 5,882 social media accounts – or 2.08 social media accounts per 
3rd grade – 253 students have 425 accounts  (these children are EIGHT years old) and that’s an average of 1.68 per child
4th grade – 341 students have 508 account (these children are NINE years old) and that’s an average of 1.49 per child

Second: How many 3rd to 6th graders own a smartphone?

The overall average phone ownership is 69%

3rd graders – 48% 
4th graders – 60%
5th graders – 61%
6th graders – 79%

Third: How many 3rd to 6th graders have a Snapchat or TikTok account? 

Overall average of usage of Snapchat across 3rd to 6th: 40.3% 
So out of those 2,826 students – 1140 have a SC account

3rd grade – 25%
4th grade – 28%
5th grade – 34%
6th grade – 49% 

Overall average of usage of TikTok across 3rd to 6th: 40.4% exactly the same as SC (which is pretty typical)
So out of those 2,826 students – 1144 have a TT account

3rd grade – 33%
4th grade – 37%
5th grade – 38%
6th grade – 44% 

Fourth  How many 3rd to 6th graders promise to stop sexting or promise to cut down on porn consumption? 

Overall average of kids promising to STOP or CUT DOWN on sexting from  3rd to 6th:  4.6%
So out of those 2,826 students – 131 total are promising to stop sexting
That doesn’t mean that only 4.6% are doing it, but that 4.6% are promising to stop. 
3rd grade – 3%  (7 total kids)
4th grade – 5% (16 total kids)
5th grade – 4% (34 total kids)
6th grade – 5% (74 total kids)

Overall average of kids promising to STOP or CUT DOWN on watching porn from  3rd to 6th:  8.8%
out of those 2,826 students – 249 total are promising to cutback on porn. 

Here’s the breakdown: 

3rd grade – 12%(31 total kids)
4th grade – 11% (39 total kids)
5th grade – 8% (65 total kids)
6th grade – 8% (114 total kids)

Fifith: How many 3rd to 6th graders feel that SEXTING is the biggest issue at their school? 

Overall average of 3rd to 6th graders who chose SEXTING or INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT being shared among their friends as the biggest issue: 20%
out of those 2,826 students – 560 total believe that SEXTING is a bigger issue than Cyberbullying, Device Addiction, Increased drama in the school day due to sm, or None. 

3rd graders: 36% (90)
4th graders: 22% (74)
5th graders: 17% (134)
6th graders: 18% (262)

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.