We're in Atlantic City! Miranda feels fat, Samantha can't trust Richard, and Charlotte buys a dress from the gift shop. Our gal, Carrie, is being an annoying high maintenance friend.

Ugh. Samantha is back with Richard, Charlotte goes to a relationship guru seminar, and Miranda gets little Brady baptized. As for our gal, Carrie, she's landed herself a book deal! (With Amy Sedaris and Molly Shannon!)

How does season 5 start off? It's fleet week in NYC! Everyone (except Carrie) shows their boobs. Red Dragon deals with new mom issues, Charlotte needs to get some strange, and Samantha pines over Richard. Bleck. As for Carrie, don't worry about her. She's dating...New York!

It's the season finale!!! Samantha finally dumps Richard, Red Dragon has her little dragon, and Charlotte's storyline is a snooze-fest. Carrie and Big have a moment and then...he's gone.

We're at Vogue, and Carrie won't let us forget it. Charlotte throws a baby shower for Red Dragon, Red Dragon doesn't want a baby shower, and Samantha has a special present for Richard's b-day. Carrie is at Vogue, Vogue, Vogue. She says it 500 times.

This is a good one, friends. Samantha fishes for an "I love you," Miranda cannot stop farting, and Charlotte is being a bitch. As for our Carrie, she may be homeless, y'all!!!

OMG you guys this is THE ONE. Samantha catches monogamy, Charlotte takes a tap class, and Miranda finds out it's a boy. Yeah, whatever. It's Carrie and Aidan, y'all. It's over. Gone girl. Girl on a train. Girl BYE!

There's so much going on, but at the same time nothing. Charlotte is going to be in Homes & Gardens mag (snooze), Samantha says the L-word to Richard (she was high), and someone outs Red Dragon's pregnancy. Same ole, same ole with Carrie and Aidan. Bumps in the road.

It's all in the title, people. Everyone is fighting. Except Red Dragon. The Irony. Charlotte and Trey are feuding, Samantha deals with some inner demons, and Carrie & Aidan are really going at it. Red Dragon gets laid, so good on her.

We've landed on S4Ep12 - Just Say Yes - and it does not disappoint. Read Dragon is throwing up because she's pregnant, Charlotte is doing in vitro, so therefore, NOT pregnant, and we hope Samantha doesn't get pregnant because things have heated up with Richard. Aidan asks Carrie to marry him, so there's that.