Bipey Fox

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING - SUICIDE AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ARE DISCUSSED⚠️

If you are having thoughts of suicide please consult the NHS suicidal thoughts webpage.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

NOTES:

Thoughts of a suicidal thinker #2

Hello world and welcome to Bipey Fox

Thoughts of a suicidal thinker mark 2

This should hopefully be slightly less heavy than the first episode.

This was written the day after the last recited piece was written on the 28th December 2019

And it’s called the joker.

The Joker

He is vicious violent veracious and unkind, he pokes his head from round the unlit corners of doom that fill the entirety of the entity you call life. He laughs and cries and poses the question why. It’s dark for days, he lets the light in and before you wake you know the pain regains. They will see the improvement followed by the darkened innards, it’s not plain sailing, you’re good, you’re bad, you can’t laugh but then it comes, the smile as rye as microwave meals, you can’t see me inside, you never have, if you see positivity know that it’s strength, making everything ok is not the change, the change is consistency, remember that the push and pull is a greater fate than suicide. That would be the easy way believe me. That would end the pain, strain, complaints of feeling this way. Just one step in front of the train switches off the brain. Just one jump from the hill makes it all still. Just one shot and everything is forgot. I promise you the strength is there to not do it. You see strength in a smile but know that it’s ripped to shatters on the inside. You can’t hide. You can’t fly away. You can’t just feel better. If I could I would. The strength comes in fighting it. That black filthy beast is strong, long and powerful. It seeps the light from your soul, leaves you breathless and forces you to the dirtied ground of which you stand. To smile is a victory but it’s not the best of me, consistency brings the light back that you’ve lost for months, it’s coming, but the beast plays before it’s feast. Once it’s bored your back to the norm. It’s coming. I can feel it, but the true feeling is yet to be felt, these were the cards you’ve been dealt. Get on with it.



Most psychiatric disorders - symptoms can be something that causes significant suffering/distress

Having just experienced England losing the Euros final,

Clear to see

Lot of people distressed

Those who maybe don’t suffer mentally still felt a sense of loss

Have a heart for those who may have been feeling so low that the result last night made them even lower

Pain is incomparable

Remember that no one can walk in anyone else’s shoes so always be compassionate, kind and understanding

None of us know what anyone else is going through

Keep smiling

Stay good

I have my last cigarette at 4:50pm on the 13th June 2019.

I begin the long 41 day and 41 night journey of being sectioned and everything it entails.

This is a small section of what it is like to be sectioned.

This includes me recalling the walk I did in the summer of 2019.

Keep smiling 😊

Stay good 💙

*TRIGGER WARNING* ⚠️ PLEASE READ BEFORE LISTENING.
⚠️ PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN IF YOU ARE FEELING SUICIDAL OR YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A PLACE OF LOW MOOD ⚠️



I say I’ve been thinking about it for hours and from North to South. What I mean by that is: I’ve been thinking about publishing the podcast for hours from north to south:

NOT THAT I AM SUICIDAL.

I AM NOT SUICIDAL.

NHS - advice and links to support.

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

Beast Pit - 27.12.19

Heavy rain and water immersed control systems
Flagging failure danger stranger than reality
Waves hit ship broader and brighter than the mighty sun shining angry hallucinations of the original creation, it’s real but it can’t be holding so tight with all its might, it’s frightening and you’re falling stone lengths and throws all the way down to the elbows, the cross bow strikes from the minute that you rise and surprise is removed from your weak life, stab me it’ll make me feel, the red blood appeals, living with a life long disease, it’s real and it’s tough, ragging you through the rough you can’t change it now when you’re down, life is so lightless, joy doesn’t exist, everyday lies a quiet mist of destruction within, I can’t begin to explain the constant rain, the dead flowers of pain, can I exchange this feeling for a day?
The emotion is an ocean and won’t allow you to cry, life would be better if only I died, the silence is infectious, a few months ago was reckless, you’re living a half life, categorically not right, when will the storm pass, when will the green grass present itself to me and return to being happy, no words that can describe this feeling I can’t hide, just know it’s painful from the inside. I’ll smile it will be fake, surely there was a mistake, the one who created me was dysfunctional and angry, why did it have to be so chronic, the good side supersonic but the pit of shit I reside in now is far from it.
Pray for me.

A conversation between a father and son discussing what bipolar can do to family relationships.

Conversation involves:

Discovery of bipolar
Recovery
Time
Experiences with manic episodes
Emotions

Bipolar is a serious mental health condition characterised by manic highs which sometimes lead to psychosis and depressive lows which can lead to suicide. Tragically, people living with bipolar are 20 times more likely to die by suicide.

An estimated 1 in 50 people are living with bipolar and many more are affected through family, friends and colleagues. That means it’s likely we all know someone touched by the condition.
It takes an average of over 9 years to get diagnosed.
With the correct diagnosis, the right treatment and support, it is possible to lead a successful and fulfilling life.


Bipolar UK offers a wealth of information, resources and interesting blogs. You can find a variety of downloadable information booklets here https://www.bipolaruk.org/information-leaflets

Bipolar UK’s mood scale is another useful resource https://www.bipolaruk.org/FAQs/mood-scale

Take a look at Bipolar UK’s website to find out more about free services offered www.bipolaruk.org

Regional and national peer support groups for people affected by bipolar, facilitated by trained and supported volunteers – over 50 groups are now operating on Zoom and face to face meetings are now starting to resume.
A moderated eCommunity with over 9,000 active users.
One-to-one peer support provided by telephone and email.
Resources and information accessed by almost 400,000 users each year.
Weekly Facebook Live sessions hosted alternately by CEO and Ambassador, April Kelley.
Bipolar UK recently launched the Bipolar Commission in partnership with King’s College London. The Commission aims to transform NHS treatment for those living with bipolar.

Our mission is to empower everyone affected by bipolar to live well and fulfil their potential

Talking to my friends son Alfie, who is 9 years old, about mental health and what he understands that to be.

We cover:

Alfie’s interests.
What he knows about mental health.
What he learns about mental health at school.
A description of depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder.
How to improve your mental health.
General conversation.

Had consent from both his mother and father.

Introduction to the podcast