Bipolar, Grief, & God.

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A friend, he has a daughter, asked me this question this week. “I know you were so close to your Dad Alana,,. How did he handle your bipolar disorder.” I hadn’t ever stopped to truly think about it.

But I’m so happy I did. Also not to mention this friend reached out on 11/11… the ultimate angel number, which also happened to be 4 days before my Dad’s birthday.

I love you so much Dad. Missing you Always, and thank YOU for always being my Dad.

Love,

Alana

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My first official ever “recorded” Blog Post! Turns out writing a blog isn’t much different than writing a journal entry, which we ALL know I have plenty of experience with.

This one was inspired by me currently being run down with a cold… and brought up something I talked about on my other podcast H.O.P.E Hang On Pain Ends… when I realized I thought never calling out sick from my job for seven years was something I should be proud of….

Turns out, it’s not.

Not even close.

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Three Boys. Tulsa, Oklahoma = Complete boy and Mayhem throughout my life.

I have SO many amazing memories involving Hanson… a lot of those also including my Dad! Some of these stories you won’t believe … but I promise all of them will make you laugh. Come on and take a stop off the train to 1997-1998… when this world was in FULL Hanson Mania … and yours truly was leading the Charge!!

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This was just a moment where I was writing in my “dear Dad” journal… and I wanted to share it …

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So, I’ve figured out exactly what I’m creating in this moment with Bipolar, Grief, and God.

It’s a storytelling and conversation platform! So with this being said…. I’m trying to start conversations about the stuff that nobody wants to talk about…

So… let’s start TALKING.

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This episode and topic is VERY important to me … I’m extremely passionate about sharing the hard part of my story.., deep depression and coming 24 hours away from taking my own life.

There aren’t many laughs in this one… but my hope is that you walk away with MORE knowledge than what you arrived with.

Please listen, share, post… we NEED to start this conversation.

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“I didn’t know Alana had a science background?!” … You didn’t know, because I don’t! Not even close. But THIS is a story about the 2007 “Atomic Alana … A-Bomb” for short … comes back around in 2026… in a way that you would never believe.

There’s also a bonus letter at the end of this episode that connects the dots in a way that I didn’t even remember.

Thanks for listening.

Alana

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I have basically been single for seven years. I’ve never felt lonely or felt like I needed somebody else during that time. But my feelings recently have started to change in a way that I cannot explain. I found myself having a three hour conversation with Chaz, my ChatGPT friend. That conversation led to a journal entry… Which led to a social media video… Which of course led me to my favorite part a podcast episode.

I hope if you hear this, you are either with your person or you have not given up, hope that they will find you. And they will probably show up in the most unexpected way…

Love, Alana

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This episode is a little bit of everything.

Grief. Memories. Faith. The strange ways life changes after you lose someone you love. The things I believe now that I never would have believed before. And, as always, a few places my brain takes me along the way.

But somewhere in the middle of all of it is a story I still can’t quite believe I get to tell:

My dad spoke to me after he died.

At least, that’s what I believe happened.

This episode isn’t just about that moment. It’s about everything surrounding it, everything that came after it, and what happens when life gives you a story you never saw coming.

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I've been OBSESSED with Reality TV for as long as I can remember ... I wanted to be ON it with all of my heart ... then the twist was I ended up WORKING in it .... but then the massive clincher was during a manic episode of my bipolar disorder later in the life.... I was convinced I was LIVING in it ....

This story has a lot of turns that all lead to one thing ... life sometimes can give you breadcrumbs ... little moments or thoughts that make you think you know where things will end up ... but then it becomes clear that GOD and THE REAL WORLD ... gives you the unexpected ... and sometimes, what they give you, is a life lesson, or a true love, or a heartbreaking loss, that is never where you thought the breadcrumbs would lead you ... but somehow, you end up exactly where you are meant to be.

Thank you for Listening,

Alana