Birth Matters

Kaley did everything she could to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle throughout her pregnancy. She continued her running habit, then around 20 weeks she needed to shift to swimming and also did prenatal yoga. 

Toward the end of her healthy pregnancy, she’s told that her cervix is already 4 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced, yet her labor wouldn't start for another 3 weeks.

When she experiences some bleeding at nearly 40 weeks, she checks into the hospital to get checked out. They tell her they’d like to induce, but before they can start the induction, her water breaks with a big gush. She buys a bit of time, and is grateful that her contractions started on their own about an hour later. 

Kaley shares all of the details about how both fast and positive her labor was, but what very scary complications she experiences after the birth. She also explains how it has helped her to separate the birth from the 3rd stage into distinct events in order to protect the memory of her baby’s birth as a positive one.

She then shares a bit about the experience of being a bit disoriented in her postpartum physical body, as well as some of the breastfeeding challenges she faced due to low milk supply caused by having lost so much blood.

Full show notes at: birthmattersshow.com

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Mara & Dylan did lots of great prep for birth in pregnancy – acupuncture, massage, birth class, hiring a doula, yoga, and more. Having heard her stepmom share how beautiful her own home birth was, this planted a seed of trust in the birthing process. When the time comes for her own baby’s birth, she feels most in her element laboring at home, using the shower for hydrotherapy almost nonstop. In fact, she was so in her element that she labored at home almost too long, and their doula diverts them to a different hospital when Mara starts getting the urge to push in the car. Listen to today’s story to hear how things play out from there. This story carries some striking similarities to a story shared earlier this season in Episode 83 by Nadia. So while we have two last-minute detours in this season, please don’t get it into your head that this is common because it’s not common at all – it’s quite an uncommon coincidence. She also shares a bit about some initial challenges she had with breastfeeding.

Show notes (links to resources, transcript, photos, etc.): birthmattersshow.com

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Lauren’s first time giving birth was pre-pandemic in Australia in a very different healthcare system. So when she and her husband Shaun relocated to the NYC area to suburban New Jersey and wanted to conceive again, she began listening to this podcast as a way to get to know the local birth environment. Today she shares her experience of having an unmedicated birth for a second time but in a New Jersey hospital. Lauren tells us she gleaned wisdom from listening to some of the birth stories shared on this podcast that helped her to more confidently advocate for herself to have the unmedicated birth she hoped for when a nurse was pushing to start pitocin. Then you’ll hear her compare and contrast the Australian birthing environment to that of the NYC area – particularly along the lines of lactation support.

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Jewish doula and mental health therapist Chana decides to get off medications for depression and anxiety during her pregnancy. This results in a recurrence of both, including pretty severe insomnia and her family strongly encourages her to get back on medications. She gets back to feeling more well for the rest of her pregnancy, but then her beloved grandmother dies when Chana’s 38 weeks pregnant, closely followed by Passover. Chana goes into labor at a large Seder family gathering and goes on to have a waterbirth at a Long Island hospital attended by a doula and Jewish midwife. Then she identifies her daughter’s gender at birth and names  her after her grandmother.

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Michelle knew all of her life that she experiences medical anxiety and convulsive syncope. So, when she started thinking about her deep desire to grow a family, she started educating herself and preparing strategically. Knowing herself and her anxiety challenges, she started planning for an unmedicated birth. Along the way, her strategies included eventually changing OBs who would be more supportive of her preferences and needs, hiring a doula, doing lots of research and taking birth class. This is a story of how this preparation contributed to her well-supported, uncomplicated, unmedicated hospital birth.

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When Brooklynites Megan & Ted decide to try to get pregnant around the beginning of the pandemic, they’re surprised to conceive immediately. After seeing an OB and desiring less rushed time and more holistic care, they eventually land on giving birth at Brooklyn Birthing Center with midwives and a doula. Megan’s taken aback and challenged when she experiences 3 days of prodromal early labor with very little sleep. Eventually, labor kicks into gear once her water breaks. After pushing for 3+ hours and being told she may need to transfer to the hospital, their doula smartly encourages Megan to try an asymmetrical position that helps the baby get past the pelvic brim and finally be born. Megan & Ted also share about how well-supported they were not only in labor but after birth, too, and how important that was when Megan experienced some baby blues, surfacing in temporary anxiety and uncharacteristic irritability.

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When Becky and her transgender husband decide to grow their family, it’s a long, winding road to meeting their baby. First step: make very careful adjustments to her depression & anxiety meds in order to conceive as safely as possible. Next step: the tedious process of seeking out a sperm donor. Then they had to go through 7 emotional rounds of IUI and finally IVF before they could even start a viable pregnancy. Today Becky shares all of those details plus her baby’s birth story, which starts with contractions in the middle of the night, being told she’s not actually in labor when she clearly was, augmenting with pitocin, Becky advocating to have her preferences be honored, and an otherwise fairly uncomplicated birth. She also shares a bit about her breastfeeding journey and how postpartum anxiety started around 3 months out from birth when baby went on a nursing strike.

Please always curate for yourself which episodes you feel will build your confidence and not your anxiety. This is one of the more challenging stories in that Becky was the unfortunate recipient of patient gaslighting, which could be upsetting or triggering for some listeners. However, you’ll hear how smartly Becky advocates for her voice to be heard and her preferences to be respected, so this is one reason we feel this story could be very useful for expectant parents to hear.

If you do choose to skip the story, I highly recommend tuning in to the teaching portion at the end because I’ll go over some simple but powerful self-advocacy strategies that are a glimpse of what you’ll also learn if you come to birth class.

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As a person working in both the wellness and fashion fields, Nadia had intentionally pursued a healthy, fit lifestyle with an active meditation and breathwork practice. However, she discovered she had to ease up on those expectations in pregnancy and be gentle with herself. Early on in her pregnancy and at the recommendation of a friend, she hired both a doula and switched from working with an OB to a hospital midwife practice to feel more nurtured and heard. Soon after graduating from birth class and before her due date, she’s surprised to go into labor. Everyone around her encourages her to rest and relax thinking she probably had a long time ahead of her. However, for Nadia labor progressed unusually quickly. She shares very specific ways that her doula helped keep her and her husband calm, how her doula pivoted and did some quick, smart thinking when it became necessary to switch hospital destinations, and how she strongly advocated for her and her husband to have the best birth possible, including being sure Nadia’s partner didn’t miss the birth!

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Today, Bronx-based Dominican couple, Ana Rosario & Josmar Rojas, share their son’s uncomplicated homebirth story. Ana’s background as a social worker had opened her eyes to the challenges Black/BIPOC folks face giving birth in a hospital setting, so she’d decided previously in her first pregnancy, which unfortunately resulted in loss, to give birth at home. They detail specifics of the holistic, nurturing, very safe care their homebirth midwife provided through their journey of pregnancy loss and then through her 4th pregnancy, labor and birth, and share about the indispensable support their doula also provided. Ana also reflects on some of the very specific cultural, nutritional, and herbal aspects of that support and how those factors contributed to having the kind of healthy, empowering birth she preferred. 

Show notes at birthmattersshow.com

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Liza & Jon are surprised when they conceive much more quickly than expected. Toward the end of an uneventful, happy pregnancy, they learn their son is breech. They try almost everything to get their breech baby to flip, but baby was happy as a clam sitting on her bladder. With cesarean scheduled, Liza goes into labor spontaneously a week early and labors for a day and a half before heading to the hospital for the cesarean surgery. She shares about the beautifully respectful care they received throughout, ways that it felt like the beautiful birth it should feel like including holding hands during the surgery, playing music they wanted to hear and getting to hold their son almost immediately. Finally, Liza reflects on how grateful she is to have been able to nurse her son for a solid 2 months even though she had breast reduction surgery on one side and an implant on the other as a teen, and also describes how difficult a decision it was around 2 months to stop breastfeeding and shift to formula feeding. Liza & Jon are both quite charismatic; I think you’ll love hearing the entertaining way they share their story and encourage expectant parents to go with the flow and embrace their unique weird.

Show notes at birthmattersshow.com

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