Bitches On Benches

Host: Julie Bee

Introduction of our drinking game

Topics Discussed 

Losing One’s Senses, The 18.9” Virgin, Dick Pics

If you could pick only 3 of these pills, which 3 would they be?

1- Perfect Health  2- Choose To Keep Our Body Type  3- Super Strength  4- Heal Others Illnesses  5- Super Intelligence  6- Find Love Forever  7- Talk To A Deceased Loved One  8- Change 3 Things From The Past ; 9- Unlimited Money

The Drinking game…

When Julie says “Seriously, you guys are funny” or “You guys are hilarious,”  take a drink.

When Jane says anything or doesn’t make sense (except when she is hosting), or does a countdown to end the podcast when we’re not ready to end the podcast, then take a drink.

When Nikki says “Uge” instead of huge, take a drink.

If Penny is actually funny, take two drinks!!

Email us your answers.

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

Q-tips, Unilever, Google

Host: Nikki Smythe

Topics Discussed 

Masturbation and its health benefits, Therapy and Self Help Charlatans.

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

The Goop, Netflix, Seinfeld, 1978, KY Gel

Host: Penelope Friese

Open discussion of our take on these topics... 

Cafe, Fast Food, or Restaurant; Coffee choices and preferences, Nikki clears up caffeine myth, Julie disagrees with everyone, An ambiguous list of bodily Itches, 

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

Mark Critch, This Hour Has 22 Minutes, Tim Hortons, McCafé, Mandarin Restaurants, Harvey’s, Swiss Chalet, McDonald’s

Sidebar: Penny uses the word schmegegge which is a Yiddish word meaning - baloney; hot air; nonsense.meaninglessness,, nonsensicality, bunk. Recorded early February before COVID-19 shutdowns began, Penny also uses the word carafe, which is an open-topped glass flask typically used for serving wine or water, but in this case - coffee

Host: Jane Depreeve

Once again we talk about what you don’t care about, like… Should the Oscars be political? Roommate questions; A job worth doing... 

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

None to speak of strangely enough.

Host: Julie Bee

Jane thinks counting backwards means we will edit her part out. She was wrong.

In this episode we cover topics like...

Online dating; Considering being a Dominatrix; Seeking Arrangements/Sugar Daddies; Catfishing; Porn addictions.

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

Everything To Do With Sex Show (Taboo, Canwest Productions), eBay, Edible Arrangements, Skip The Dishes, Pizza Pops

Host: Nikki Smythe

Okay, you’ve figured out we’re Canadian, we’re weird, have mental health issues, and so much more!

Oh! And we apologize a lot.

Topics discussed

Winter blahs/blues; Mental health/meds; Creating an app; Woman bites off man’s tongue

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

Summer’s Eve, Lay’s Chips (Pepsi Co)

Host: Jane Depreeve

Jane likes to really send things just out of reach… yes, you’ll wonder where she’s going with it, but more importantly - just ignore her.

Topics discussed

Jane's 1975 Events Birthday Card; Cultural misappropriation;  

Which famous person would you have dinner with?

Jane loses her shit and ends the show abruptly.

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

Nair, Saturday Night Live, Milton Bradley, Corvette, 1975, BMW, Chevrolet, KC and the Sunshine Band, Barrel of Monkeys, Heineken

Host: Penelope Friese

Penelope misleads the listeners into believing we are using music in our podcast - but just to be clear, not as of yet, but it’s coming soon.

Topics discussed

Coronavirus discussion in the early days (late January 2020); flu shots; Shopping habits; Intestinal worms; If you could hold a protest; Scars- how did you get them?

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

McCain French Fries

Host: Nikki Smythe

Topics Discussed 

- Entertainment Industry 

- TV shows we miss or don’t miss, Tiny Talent Time, Ellen/Oprah

- Plastic surgery on actors and how "they’ve" changed. 

- Movies that affected us; impactful moments; we hear a lot from Jane

- Spoiler Alert Jane gives away a secret about Game of Thrones (so if you haven’t watched, you may need to plug your ears like Nikki does)

HOPEFUL SPONSORS MENTIONED: 

Oprah, Harpo, Ellen Degeneres

Welcome to the inaugural episode of the Bitches on Benches podcast!

Welcome to Bitches on Benches, the podcast show little ears shouldn’t hear. So, send the rugrats outside or to bed or to hell… it doesn’t matter, as long as the bastards are gone.

We are your hosts, Jovial Julie, Nefarious Nikki, Playful Penny, and the Ever Jolly Jane, and this is one of our many FIRST EPISODES.

WARNING - This podcast may contain strong language, nudity, violence, mature subject matter, drug use and/or anal leakage

Enjoy the ride…