How do you go from nervous dogs, sinus trouble, xbox controller repair, cat cafés and blinding yourself with light brighter than the heart of a neutron star, to Portland Bill, the legend of Prometheus, the idea of Limbo realms, Lovecraft, one eyed seagulls, w*nking sheds, drinking Kerosene and the sexual subtext of mermaid imagery? Well, if ye be stout of heart, ye may discover the truth as we spill the beans (EUPHEMISM!) upon the movie The Lighthouse.