‘Tis the season for…boundaries.

With many of us facing people, places, and situations we often have the luxury of avoiding—like family gatherings and run-ins with old friends—it’s becoming especially important that we beef-up our boundary-setting skills.

Setting boundaries is one of the most powerful ways we practice vulnerability. We often think of boundaries as a way we put on armor, strictly for protection, but boundaries are a delicate dance of softness, openness, and care. In this episode, we’ll discuss how boundaries are a key part of your vulnerability practice, and how you can use them this season and move forward to shape safer, more sustainable relationships.

We discuss:

• How boundary-setting is a form of vulnerability
• How setting boundaries helps you feel seen
• How the most important form of boundaries are self-boundaries
• Small steps we can take to feel more comfortable setting boundaries, even when it’s scary

This month, as we close out the year, we’ll be reflecting on how to shift from our protective behaviors in relationships to finally centering ourselves in our lives. Welcome to the Choosing You era of your life.

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Find suggested readings from the podcast here: https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen

Learn more on our website: ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com

Sometimes the person you need to forgive the most is you. We all make mistakes, but sometimes, we are our own worst critic and the least willing to offer ourselves the grace we truly deserve. We rarely see the best in ourselves, so feeling a sense of love, compassion, or acceptance can feel out of reach.

Instead of holding ourselves hostage with guilt and repeating the trauma of hypercriticism and codependence, we can learn to take small steps towards grace and self-love.

We’ll discuss:

• Why we struggle with self-forgiveness
• How holding back on self-forgiveness gets in the way of your healing
• How practicing self-forgiveness takes radical vulnerability
• How self-grace is a path to feeling and being seen

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

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Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠

Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen⁠

Learn more on our website:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com⁠

'Tis the season…for letting go.

As we approach the end of another year, we sometimes start to reflect on where we are... and for some of us, this is yet another year that hasn't gone the way we'd hoped. But, instead of pushing and “trying harder”, it might be time to let go of something that’s holding you back.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why we sometimes feel stuck, and how “trying harder” is often the very thing keeping us stuck
• How unseen past hurt, trauma, and relational wounds sometimes hold us back from what we really want
• How letting go may be the thing to help us finally get free
• Steps to practicing grief, release, and opening yourself up to receive more than you could have imagined

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

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Keep the conversation going on Instagram

Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠

Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen⁠

Learn more on our website:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com⁠

Sometimes feeling grateful is hard, and that’s okay.

The holidays often ask us to position ourselves in feeling grateful, but what if we need room for grief, first? This week, we have a minisode to explore toxic gratitude and the ways we sometimes leave ourselves feeling worse when we try to feel better. Though gratitude is touted as a great tool for well-being, it sometimes ends up being a mask for deeper pain that deserves to be felt, acknowledged, and honored.

Sometimes, we need to feel seen by being allowed to safely experience all of our emotions, not just the acceptable ones.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• What toxic gratitude looks like and how we sometimes use it as spiritual and emotional bypassing
• How trauma and relational woundings sometimes help us form an unhealthy relationship with gratitude 
• How we sometimes need to feel our grief before we can feel our gratitude
• Ways to make room for all our emotions this holiday season, including a healthier practice of gratitude 

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

Keep the conversation going on our Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/blackgirlseen⁠⁠

Never miss an episode by subscribing to the Seen Sunday newsletter:⁠ ⁠https://blackgirlseen.myflodesk.com/seensunday⁠⁠

Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠

Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen⁠

Learn more on our website:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com⁠

‘Tis the season to be…lonely?

In an increasingly separated world, many of us are no stranger to feeling lonely. Even when we put in the effort to spend time with others, we can still struggle with feeling lonely inside. Why? We often hide in our relationships, and we also hide from ourselves, too.

Loneliness happens when we feel disconnected from self and others. When we struggle to feel seen all on our own, it spills over into feeling unseen with others. But, even though we can feel alone in a room full of people, we can also feel deeply connected all on our own. There’s healing in solitude, intentional connection to the self, that opens the door to true connection with others.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• The difference between loneliness and solitude 
• How solitude can actually be the key we need to building stronger relationships
• How past experiences shape our current relationship with loneliness and solitude
• How to build comfort with seasons of solitude, while opening the door to the connection we crave

To the black girls who are in a season of loneliness, I see you 🤎

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

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Read more at the On Being Seen blog: ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/blog/⁠

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Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠

Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen/⁠

We can’t discuss relational safety without talking about safety in our own bodies.

TW: This episode contains content related to eating disorders, disordered eating, body dysmorphia, and negative body image. Please take care of yourself or seek the support of a professional should you find any of these topics triggering or challenging to engage with while on a recovery journey. Learn more here.

So many of us learned to not only dislike our own bodies, but also to disregard, neglect, and even mistreat our bodies, all in the name of unachievable acceptance from others. Whether we’re talking about general negative body image, allowing ourselves to run on empty, or even masking the truth of who we are, we’ve co-created a situation where our true homes, our bodies, are unsafe, too.

Still, we can learn to repair this relationship with our bodies. We can do the healing work to help our bodies no longer be a battleground, but a secure base from which we live.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• What safety in relationships with our bodies actually look like
• How past experiences shape our current relationship with our bodies
• How negative body image, body dysmorphia, and other unhealthy relationships with our bodies are the result of relational woundings
• How to repair our relationships with our bodies and become sites of safety
• How to prepare for triggers and remain grounded during the holidays

To the black girls who struggle in their relationship with their bodies, I see you 🤎

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠⁠https://bookshop.org/lists/body-food-movement-healing⁠

Read more at the On Being Seen blog: ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/blog/⁠

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Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠

For those of us who never really felt safe and who struggle to understand what safety looks like, I see you 🤎

What does emotional safety actually look like? This episode dives into the importance of emotional safety in our relationships of all kinds–friends, family, and romantic partners–and how we can actually recognize, create, and sustain safe spaces.

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• What safety in relationships actually look like
• How past experiences shape our current relationship with safety
• How to identify safe people
• How we can become safe people and cultivate safety within

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

• Never miss an episode by subscribing to the SeenSunday newsletter:⁠ ⁠https://blackgirlseen.myflodesk.com/seensunday⁠⁠
• Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠
• Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen⁠
• This week's suggested read: ⁠all about love by bell hooks⁠
• Learn more on our website:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com
• Follow us on Instagram!⁠

We do not have to allow the fear of intimacy to get in the way of the love we deserve 🤎    

Next up in the series on facing your fears, we’re talking about the Fear of Intimacy. Many of us learned that love and connection isn’t safe. We may have endured the pain of being hurt in our families, friendships, romance, and even our communities, but we can still build the tools to help us recover and re-open our hearts to what we need most.

In this episode, we learn more about how the fear of intimacy leads us to hide, how what we think keeps us safe actually keeps us cut off from our needs, and how to start slowly opening our hearts again in order to build safe and sustainable relationships. 

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

Keep the conversation going on our Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/blackgirlseen⁠⁠

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Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠

Find suggested readings from the podcast here: ⁠https://bookshop.org/shop/blackgirlseen⁠

Learn more about ⁠EMDR⁠ and ⁠Brainspotting⁠, somatic-based healing modalities. 

Learn more on our website:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com

You don’t have to be perfect to be loved 🤎    

Next up in the series on facing your fears, we’re talking about the fear of failure and the relational root beneath perfectionism. Too many of us learned that we are simply “overachievers” and that we are “hard on ourselves,” but what about when no amount of effort or accomplishments ever make you feel good enough?

In this episode, we learn more about how perfectionism is actually the result of relational wounds, how fearing failure can keep you frozen, and how to start unlearning that you have to be perfect to be loved.

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

Keep the conversation going on our Instagram:⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/blackgirlseen⁠⁠

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Find resources and support:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠⁠ 

Learn more on our website:⁠ ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com

⁠

Disclaimer: The BLACK GIRL SEEN podcast is meant for information purposes only. Though the host, Kalyn Wilson, LCSW, is a licensed mental health provider, this podcast does not establish a clinical relationship with listeners, nor does it replace a relationship with a licensed mental health provider. For more information and resources on finding a therapist, visit ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠.

Sometimes we fear the things we want the most.

It’s Spooky Season, and we’re getting up close and personal with our fears. In this episode, we explore the reasons behind our fear of being seen. Even when we desire to allow ourselves to be seen, we often run back into hiding because it feels safer.

We’ll learn more about the Visibility Wound, and how we can work through our fears to move towards what we really want.

Enjoyed the episode? Subscribe, like, share, and stay tuned for more!

Keep the conversation going on our Instagram: ⁠www.instagram.com/blackgirlseen⁠

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Learn more about Core Wounds ⁠here⁠.

Find resources and support: ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠

Learn more on our website: ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com⁠

Disclaimer: The BLACK GIRL SEEN podcast is meant for information purposes only. Though the host, Kalyn Wilson, LCSW, is a licensed mental health provider, this podcast does not establish a clinical relationship with listeners, nor does it replace a relationship with a licensed mental health provider. For more information and resources on finding a therapist, visit ⁠www.blackgirlseen.com/support⁠.