Black Men Unlearning

On this episode of BMU, the guys explore our romanticization of relationships and how those narratives fail us in practice. They revisit the foundations of what they learned about seeking relationships from elders as young men, consider how media shaped their expectations of how relationships would play out in their lives, and detail the internal work we all need to do to show up well in relationship.

On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss Black rage in the

“Billy Porter on race, recognition, and the Middle East” (The Guardian)

“The Negro in American Culture” Radio Interview (1961)

Black Rage by William H. Grier and Price M. Cobbs

Edwin references the killing of Rayshard Brooks by Atlanta

On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the dangers of

On this episode of BMU, Dr. Derrick Tillman-Kelly joins the podcast to talk about how his identity as a queer Black man has shaped his relationships with straight Black men. The guys discuss the importance of the language used to discuss queer identities and its capacity to create division and undermine queer folks' safety. They also discuss the fallacies of anti-LGBTQ sentiments in the Black community, the foundations of the friendships the three of them share, and revisit the seminal article "Seven Gay Texts: Biblical Passages Used to Condemn Homosexuality" by Robert K. Gnuse to discuss the acceptance (or lack thereof) and experiences of queer people in the church.

On this episode of BMU, the guys contend with the consequences of putting your head down to push through hard things at the expense of trusting how we feel. How do we know when pushing through isn't the answer? How do we know when it’s time to make a change? During the conversation, the guys contend with what moves us to escapism, the coping trap, and the challenge of hearing ourselves.

On this, the 50th episode of BMU, the guys return from their holiday hiatus with a story to tell… well, stories to talk about. Their discussion considers the significance of the narratives we share about ourselves, the narrative structures we value and accept, whose narratives we regard as true, and the trouble of choosing sides when we have limited information. Jonathan Majors’ repeated invocation of Coretta Scott King, Katt Williams’ viral interview, and the protest at Emmanuel AME Church set the backdrop for the conversation.

The discussion references the following podcast episodes:

Club Shay Shay – “Katt Williams Unleashed” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oRRZiRQxTs

On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the release of André 3000’s new album, New Blue Sun. They discuss 3000’s anxieties around dropping new raps and their uneasiness about the mixed reactions to the news that NBS would be a flute album. Their conversation considers the implications of our expectations of art and the artists of whom we call ourselves fans, evaluates our entitlement to critique of their work and choices, and explores our relationship with other folks’ freedom as an extension of our conceptions of our own.

Andre 3000’s interview with Rick Rubin on the Broken Record Podcast: https://youtu.be/LjHcHTJ8D5k?si=vlS0AvkQKDp3WKa_

On this episode of BMU, the guys discuss the contradictions they live into when going through seasons of transition. Seasons of focus require discipline that can challenge our ability to balance striving and staying connected. Their discussion explores the challenges with viewing themselves as more than the sum of their accomplishments, and our attempt to balance the truth of the solitude that sometimes comes with working toward our goals with our need for community.

This episode references "Family" by The RH Factor: https://open.spotify.com/track/6Pi2hod3YtmRgeyhWJkcGK?si=2163611046dd4b12

On this episode of BMU, the guys are joined by Olatunde

Olatunde Osinaike is a Nigerian-American poet, essayist, and software developer. He is the author of Tender Headed (Akashic Books, 2023), selected by Camille Rankine as winner of the 2022 National Poetry Series.

Tender Headed is available for pre-order prior to its December 5th release date at https://www.akashicbooks.com/catalog/tender-headed/, and can be purchased everywhere thereafter.

On this episode of BMU, the guys welcome the podcast's first guest, Dr. Chris Travers, to discuss the work and nuance of establishing and maintaining friendship as Black men. Using examples from the friendship the three of them share, Kyle, Edwin, and Chris highlight the need to practice vulnerability, deal with our insecurities with honesty, and risk rejection, tension, and conflict to grow the platonic relationships we participate in with other men.

Check out Chris’s company, The Communion Collective on IG: @the_communioncollective

Xavier Dagba’s post on the dangers of trying to design a life without disappointment: https://x.com/Xavierdagba/status/1709999904846704901?s=20

Tricia Hersey’s book, Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto: https://thenapministry.com/