Blockbuster Film School

Usually when someone is the kid of a tv actor, a child star, a pro baseball player, and in a movie about Elvis impersonators, that person tends to suck. However with the power of his luxurious hair and cowboy cadence Kurt Russell has managed to tear a whole in the Hollywood suck space continuum. Whether he’s saving presidents from powerful Scientologists in Manhattan based prisons, having the weird “you’re not the alien father” Maury blood scene, or gaslighting his kidnapee into being his wife Kurt manages to pull off one of the craziest, wildest, careers in the history of Hollywood. The boys discuss with their usual aplomb. You gonna skin that smoke wagon or just sit there and bleed?

Every year Hollywood gets together to decide which movie about someone with a disability will win an award. Then, they congratulate each other on how they are no longer jerks about anything and how they are saving the world then they yell at a valet in the parking lot. Here at the Blockbusties our award ceremony involves explosions, booze, hedonism, and love of the pure cinematic madness. The boys give their picks for the first ever Blockbustis awards!!! Hosted by David Caruso.

Has anyone ever really seen chestnuts roasting on an open fire? We live in the city so we do not get carolers. And the only reindeer we've ever seen escaped from a zoo then chased Super Producer Brian Tepps around a Circuit City parking lot. But luckily we have watched a lot of holiday movies so we could bring you our Christmas picks. Hastily wrapped and tossed on the Blockbuster wall next to an elf black out drunk on spiked eggnog, it’s our favorite films of the fifth most magical time of the year. One, two, & three are Halloween related; four is Clint Howard’s Labor Day party.

What’s your favorite horror movie, bob hair cut and boob sweater Drew Barrymore? Sometimes people are great filmmakers, sometimes people are terrible filmmakers. And every so often, there comes a “master of suspense” who makes two straight up rad horror movies and then also a bunch of schlocky trash about people in the stairs or some shit. Anyways, it’s spooky season so hopefully your parents didn’t murder a groundskeeper who is a mythic demon. It’s Wes Craven time! That was Wes’ catch phrase. The boys discuss.

It’s our 50th episode! To celebrate we chose one of the most iconic film stars of all time to be the subject of this special occasion. We even invited him to appear on his own episode! Ladies, gentlemen, and non binary friends, the one, the only, Harrison Ford… did not reply to our emails so Mike Hayes from B Movie Mania is here instead. From Han Solo and Indiana Jones to pointing at everyone and wearing a weird tiny earring, Harrison Ford might be the greatest movie star of all time. He isn’t prolific because he doesn’t have to be. Blockbuster Film School and Mike Hayes humbly invite you to listen to the first milestone we have reached. We did this so you could have…your PROVASIC! You switched the episodes! You killed Super Producer Brian Tepps so you could switch the episodes!

Life is about balance but art is another story. Sometimes two different types of mayhem create hit films. If Jerry Bruckheimer is chaos then his former producing partner Don Simpson was a riot during a coup d’état. When Simpson/Bruckheimer were in top form they couldn’t be stopped, producing one blockbuster after the next. When it didn’t work we wound up with a Denis Leary Xmas movie or drug induced heart failure. We’ll take the crab juice. Blockbuster Film School examines the producing wildfire that gave us Axel Foley, Michael Bay, and Michelle Pfeiffer in a Coolio video. Seriously though, kids: if you or anyone you love have a serious drug addiction please contact the Producers Guild of America. You might have points on a movie you don’t remember making.

Sometimes the famous lead actor surviving the apocalypse is basically the same character who killed aliens in their last film but now they have glasses. Others actors transform themselves with each role inhabiting a new soul at a level which is unrecognizable to even themselves. Philip Seymour Hoffman was that performer. Every film he graced had a unique character that was never seen again. Blockbuster Film School has never been more certain of a statement being true when we say Philip Seymour Hoffman was one of the greatest actors of all time. Listen as we gush over his impressive filmography including the Ben Stiller movie where he sharted his pants. He really could do anything.

Sometimes a movie comes out and people are so into nu metal or disco or Pokémon or whatever dumb shit they don’t process just how dope it is until years later when they go “wait did I buy a Disturbed CD, with money? Did I do that shit?”. This is the formula for underrated films however sometimes films come out and every last dingus is like oh (insert oscar bait here) or (summer blockbuster there) or ( heavy handed moralistic bullshit thing) is soooo good. Then you look back after the dust settles and say those movies sucked royally . Those are overrated films.Your favorite gentlemen film scholars discuss on the another edition of Blockbuster Filmschool (sick guitar solo).

Awards season is three months of celebrities reminding each other how important and talented they are culminating with the Academy Awards, the Mount Rushmore of self fellating. In a shocking twist sometimes they get it wrong. The Office Hours crew re-examines the ‘95 Oscars, a year that crowned a simple minded running back king turd of guano mountain. The other competition included films about a dirty Jeopardy game, prison besties, Hugh Grant’s charm, and Marvin getting shot in the face. Blockbuster Film School can’t change the past but we could argue about it so long that Zemeckis will want to give the trophy back.

Terminator! Terminator 2: Judgement Day! Diminishing Return: Rise of the Machines! A Welsh man yells at an extra! More embarrassing than Sega Saturn! Arnold is captivating discussing drapes or blinds, no one remembers exactly and we will not rewatch. We discuss the highs and terrible, terrible lows of the Terminator franchise. That dragon lady wasn’t even the worst actor in the fifth one. They have the same amount of sequels as the Tremors movies. Blockbuster Film School doesn’t like to beg but please don’t be back. Please.