Blooms & Barnacles

Is a bar of soap just a bar of soap?

Topics in this episode include Leopold Bloom’s visit to Sweny’s Pharmacy, how often chemists move, Dublin geography, Bloom’s forgetfulness, the shrunken skull of Sweny the pharmacist, lotuses in the chemist’s, the philosopher’s stone, doing drugs, distilled water prices, Bloom’s filthy bath plans, the lemon soap, the Victorian virtue of cleanliness, perpetual power through consumer goods, Victorian soap ads, the politics of soap advertising, Bloom’s judgement of Bantam Lyons, magical soap, Brooke’s Monkey Brand soap, Mr. Plinkett, moly and Molly.

Sweny the Alchemist

Ep. 5 - Sweny’s Pharmacy

Ep. 30 - Sweny’s Revisited (w/ PJ Murphy & Jack Walsh)

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Have you repented for the sin of reading this filthy book yet?

Topics in this episode include the Spanish Inquisition, English v. Latin, the Leonine prayers, the similarity between Catholic Mass and Columbo, Dermot’s priest voice, praying for the conversion of godless Communists, the difficulty of leaving Dodger stadium, Joyce’s parody of the Leonine prayers, Mike Birbiglia’s parody of the Mass, the hypocrisy of Confession, Leopold Bloom’s pragmatic view of Catholic Mass, the power wielded by Catholic priests because of Confession, Martha, whispering galleries, Joseph as the butt of the joke, the Salvation Army, the Salvation Navy, the Fermanagh will case, the Doctors of the Church, Brother Buzz, the Archangel Michael, Oliver St. John Gogarty, syphillis, and Phillip Glass.

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Why can’t we use Guinness instead of wine at Mass?

Topics include Leopold Bloom’s thoughts on Communion wine, lots of lotuses, why wine must be used in the Mass instead of Guinness, temperance, transubstantiation, shew wine, cadging wine at Mass, Old Glynn, sacred music, Rossini’s Stabat Mater, footdrill, sacred music as a lotus, how sacred music is a bit sexy, how sacred music helps put butts in seats, Mercadante, Mozart, Palestrina, Dermot’s love of 12th c. polyphony, the Liturgy of the Hours, Benedictine and Chartreuse, and castrati.

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Give us this day our daily Bloom.

Topics in this episode include: mazzoth, shewbread, matzo v. Communion wafer, what it feels like to consume the body of Christ in the Eucharist, more cannibals, the hokey pokey and whether or not it mocks the Catholic Mass, Leopold Bloom use of popular culture to connect with more complex issues, the feeling of religious community, how Holy Communion is like Plumtree’s Potted Meat, the spectacle of the Mass, Lourdes water, the Knock apparition, moving statues, salt stain Mary in Chicago (she was under the Kennedy Expressway, not Wacker Drive!), the narcotic quality of the Mass, IHS and INRI, the Invincibles and the Phoenix Park Murders, details hidden in addresses, James Carey, and suspicions against ostentatiously pious people.

Decoding Bloom: The Opiate of the Mass

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Is the Eucharist tantamount to cannibalism? Let’s ask Thomas Aquinas.

Topics in this episode include: Fr. Conmee, Martin Cunningham, why Molly wasn’t admitted to the choir, bluey specs, Jesuit rock stars, Bloom’s skepticism of priests, a story from James Joyce’s 50th birthday party, the Eucharist, transubstantiation, the romantic possibilities of Mass, scapulars, nuns, everything Leopold Bloom doesn’t know about Holy Communion, blasphemy galore, what the Mass has in common with Hogwarts, Vatican II, the horrors of biting into the Communion wafer, the Latin Mass, the Eucharist as a lotus, practical uses for Latin, a possible connection between cannibalism and the Eucharist, Thomas Aquinas’ take on the cannibalistic Eucharist, sensualist heresy, the perfect last words, and a conversation with Russell Raphael about his book, An Understanding of Ulysses: Normal Joyce for Normal People.

Decoding Bloom: The Lotus Eaters Sutra

Decoding Bloom: The Opiate of the Mass

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What did James Joyce think of Buddhism?

Topics in this episode include: All Hallows or St. Andrew’s Church?, why Bloom hangs out in a church, the very reverend John Conmee S.J., sectarian scorekeeping, prayers for Gladstone, St. Peter Claver, the Opium Wars, racist poetry, the reclining Buddha statue in the National Museum of Ireland, Leopold Bloom misconceptions about Buddhism, Walter White’s misconceptions about Buddhism, depictions of the Buddha in art, what Joyce did and didn’t know about Buddhism, Buddhism viewed through lens of Western spiritualism, Joyce’s 1903 review of H. Fielding Hall’s A Soul of a People, Joyce’s characterization of Buddhism as a “passive philosophy,” Paul Carus and The Gospel of Buddha, whether or not Buddhism is a religion, the Bill Murray movie that best illustrates Buddhist principles, the Anglo-Burmese wars, U Dhammaloka, Orientalism, Homer’s lotus eaters and Buddhism, the Buddhist symbolism of the lotus, vegetarianism, tales from the Hegeler-Carus mansion, Ecce Homo, and Patrick’s sham shamrock.

Did James Joyce once covertly suggest a new Guinness slogan?

Topics in this episode include Mary Lost the Pin of her Drawers, flat Dublin voices, the Coombe, Bloom’s preoccupation with correct pronoun-antecedent agreement, Jesus in the house of Martha and Mary, a famlus forgery, Ashtown and the trottingmatches, a famous hole in the wall, alcohol has the ultimate lotus, Barons Iveagh and Ardilaun, whether or not Jeff Bezos’ skin produces lice and vermin, whether or not Joyce had a vendetta against the Guinness family, whether or not Joyce tried to outdo the classic slogan “Guinness is good for you”, “James’s Choice”, Joyce’s (possible) Guinness slogan, Guinness references in Finnegans Wake, Joyceans in the upper echelons of the Guinness brewery, Guinness’ embrace of all things James Joyce in the early 80’s, Guinness business woes in the same era, and why one might invent an apocryphal story for fun and profit.

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“Angry tulips with you darling manflower punish your cactus if you don’t please poor forgetmenot how I long violets to dear roses when we soon anemone meet all naughty nightstalk wife Martha’s perfume.”

Kelly and Dermot untangle the mysterious language of flowers. Topics include James Joyce’s affair with Marthe Fleischmann, the pitfalls of method acting, Kate Bush, the tonal shifts in Martha Clifford’s letter to Henry Flower, narcissism and self-gratification, Martha’s connection to the Otherworld, whether or not Bloom will ever meet Martha in person, the Victorian language of flowers, an angry vagina, a manflower and a Flower Man, cactuses v. lianas, coactus volui, nightstocks, how Martha’s letter defies Chekhov’s gun, a cigar that’s not just a cigar, the correspondence of James Joyce and Nora Barnacle, Martha topping from the bottom, Martha as a talented kinkster, Giacomo Joyce, a possibility for that “other word,” Bloom’s dirty letters to Molly, and the worst pick-up lines.

The Language of Flowers

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Henry dear, do not deny my request before my patience are exhausted.

In this episode, Kelly and Dermot try to figure out who Martha, Leopold Bloom’s saucy penpal, could really be. Topics include Dermot’s interest in Islam, Bloom’s missing hour, Leah the Forsaken, jugginses and guttapercha, castration anxiety, hopscotch and marbles, senior infants, Martha’s letter, Martha’s possible true identity, why Martha is interested in Molly’s perfume, Kelly harshly debunks popular theories about Martha’s identity, possible reasons for Martha’s lack of skill as a smart lady typist, piña coladas, Lizzie Twigg, wild speculation, Henry II and Eleanor of Aquitaine, Miss Dunne, Gerty MacDowell, Peggy Griffin, Bloom’s secret cipher that may reveal Martha’s identity, and why Ignatius Gallaher is definitely not Martha Clifford.

The Secret Life of Martha Clifford

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The Blooms’ household is anything but an abode of bliss.

In this episode, topics include: Plumtree’s Potted Meat, Joyce’s love for advertising, the narcotic effect of adspeak, why Plumtree’s Potted Meat is the perfect metaphor for a modern Odysseus, M’Coy’s various scams, Boylan’s metaphorically significant gifts to Molly, Bloom’s missing hour and how his cat helps solve this mystery, Love’s Old Sweet Song, why M’Coy doesn’t turn up at Dignam’s funeral, Mrs. M’Coy, smallpox in Belfast, M’Coy as an unflattering mirror of Bloom, how Plumtree’s Potted Meat reveals Bloom’s connection to Moses, the symbolic motif of the plum in Ulysses, the ritual consumption of flesh, how waste product becomes meat through transubstantiation, Plumtree’s Potted Meat as a magical spell, and what Plumtree’s Potted Meat has in common with The Sopranos.

Plumtree’s Potted M’Coy

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