What’s up with ISTA? That simple question has driven me to devote an unreasonable amount of time and energy trying to come up with a good answer. Sitting here now, many years into that journey, I’m actually a little embarrassed about how much attention I’ve given this research project I didn’t realize I signed up […]

“I need you.” That’s a scary thing to say to someone, especially when it’s true. For many of us humans in modern, western civilization — realizing that we need to intimately involve other people in our imperfect, un-photoshopped lives is a frightening thing. So we avoid it. We live alone, we eat alone, we sleep […]

Gather round my digital friends, I’m going to tell you about a time ,  a beautiful and innocent time, when the internet made people happy. Long, long ago, before large corporations started buying up parts of the internet, and before sites like medium.com turned all the bloggers into employees, there was a time when individuals owned […]

I can relate to narcissists. I love attention, I often overestimate myself, and I enjoy it when I am the topic of conversation. I’m going to talk about how to deal with narcissists, but I’m going to expand that definition beyond people with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), and speak generally about certain kinds of people. […]

I took a break this year. For those of you who have been following this site, you’ll notice that sometime around the end of June I took a break from publishing every week. It wasn’t totally intentional, but it felt right. Up until that point I had been consistently posting every week since December 2014 […]

Write something true. That’s my mantra. When I’m feeling blocked I pause and remind myself of this. Write the truth. Not the ultimate truth — just something that feels true, something authentic. That’s what writing is for me, a chance to admit the truth in a space where no one will judge me, hate me […]

I just wanted to shake his hand. Here was a man I learned so much from, that answered so many of my questions about “being a man”, and I just wanted to meet him and say “your book meant a lot to me” — but there were rules. It was 2011, and I was at […]

I’m a systems thinker, which means I spend a lot of time trying to understand the root of a problem, rather than dealing with it’s symptoms. When we attempt to solve problems without first understanding the system that created them, it’s like bailing out a leaking boat. It may provide temporary relief, but the problem […]

It’s the year 2030, and in the western world, turning to a coach for life’s challenges is as common as 1-hour drone delivery from Amazon. It’s easy, it solves our problem and we don’t mind paying a little extra for the convenience. In fact, in 2030 we have more resources than ever, and nearly everyone […]

When all the websites have been built, When all the funding has been sought. When all the companies have been sold, When all the Teslas have been bought. When all the charities have been started, When all the employees have been hired. When all the dreams have been fulfilled, When all the people have been […]