Old timey carnivals meet old timey roman entertainment. Today we are talking about The Carnivorous Carnival by Lemony Snicket. If you like the horrors of 1930s carnivals and the horrors of forcing wild animals into captivity for entertainment then this is the book for you. PT Barnum got nothing on Olivia. 

WARNING: child abuse, animal abuse, murder

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Does a heart-shaped balloon cure your disease? Maybe. Find out by listening us talk about The Hostile Hospital by Lemony Snicket. In this one we get a half fancy hospital, a procedure that probably won't cure you, and a man with glasses the size of a pea.

WARNING: kidnapping, child abuse, attempted murder

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More like the crow community? corvid crew? fowl family? murder municipality? corvid city?
Today we are talking about The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket. This time the kids are working as maintenance for an entire town full of crows (and people). If you like thousands of rules, birds always being in your way, and hot air ballons that never come down, this is the book for you!

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A magician who doesn't beleive in magic? That's whack. Today we are talking about the life of the Amazing Randi, a guy who loves magic and hates so-called psychics. We all love a man who goes after Sylvia Browne.

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Nobody knows how to pronounce "ersatz" and that's okay. Today we are talking about the 6th book in The Series of Unfortunate Events, The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket. This time the kids are back in the home down and back to living with rich people but, of course, Olaf is back too. If you like walking up stairs, babies with freaky strong upper body strength, and salmon themed resturaunts then you will love this episode.

WARNING: kidnapping, child abuse

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What is a Vice Principal if not the Vice President? Today we are talking about the fifth book in The Series of Unfortunate Events, The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket. In this one our orphan friends finally get to make some orphan friends of their own! But then Count Olaf shows up :( and makes them run laps :( :( Listen to hear all the wild, crab related details!

WARNING: death, kidnapping

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I mean she is a dedicated Wife. Todays storytime we are talking Forbidden Loveseat, a fun little story about a woman who loves her husband so much that she becomes his secret desire...a couch! Yes, it is about a certain Vice President and a certain rumor about him and a certain piece of furniture so like warning on that.

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Where is OSHA when you need them? Today we are talking about The Miserable Mill by Lemony Snicket, the fourth book in The Series of Unfortunate Events. And these events do be unfortunate. Listen to find out about eye shaped buildings, lack of labor laws, and a man with a name so hard to pronounce he doesn't even want you to try. Remember, it's not polite to look at a lady's legs.

WARNING: child abuse, death

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Is it protecting or enabling? Today we are talking about The Missing Half by Ashley Flowers. If you like the podcast Crime Junkie, then you're obvioulsy going to love this book. It has everything: shocking twists, bumper stickers, and the Midwest. 

WARNING: rape, murder

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Maybe just go to a normal arts college. Today we are talking about the last book in the Shooting Stars series, Falling Stars by V.C. Andrews. If you like teens who are super into classical music, being told that your virginity helps you be a successful violinist, and of course another daughter locked up on the top floor of a house, then this is the book for you!

WARNING: sexual abuse, sexual assualt, incest, child abuse, suicide

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