It is not night at the museum, sorry! Today we are talking about The Animals at Lockwood Manor by Jane Healey (not the shoes) and all the spooky, sapphic and sexist drama of World War II. Don't worry, they are more than just gal pals.

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Zompires? Vambies? It's a mystery. If you think this is going to be an episode where we talk about zombies and a loving relationship between a man and his dog then you are so wrong. If you like germ theory, the possibility of vampire vaccines, and a man who pays for his crimes then this is going to be the episode for you. 

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It's a StoryTime & a book banning mini all in one! Today we give a quick update on the Pen America v Escambia County School District lawsuit and Florida's book banning laws in general which leads into a banned book story about a bunny who happens to be the grandson (?) of Mike Pence. Of course we also have a classic Grimms Fairytale that involves talking fish, solid gold children, and a witch who was in the right.

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If you think you have daddy issues just wait until you hear about this guy. Today we are taking a dip into true crime because we read If You Really Loved Me by Ann Rule. This book is about the horrific case of Cinnamon Brown and the murder of her stepmother, Linda Brown. It has a lot more Manson references than you would expect and a former member of a biker gang steals the show at trial but most importantly, David Brown dies in jail and his victims get to have a second chance at life.

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Why do conservatives want us to read about Mien Kamf so much??? Today's mini is a journey into the conservative version of Wikipeida, created apparently by homeschooled teenagers. We get to learn a lot about homophobia, the fetuses of the Titantic, and even more homophobia! Why are we talking about Conservapedia? Because Donald Trump got shot in the ear.

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6 tattoos is way too many tattoos, according to a tattoo artist apparently. We are talking about The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larson and even though it is way too long it is still a wild murder mystery/financial crime mystery/Nazi family saga that you can hear all about.

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We love an anti-racist socialist and that is what Stieg Larsson was. While we may not suggest overworking yourself while smoking 60 cigarettes a day, we do suggest being as cool as Stieg. Also fuck his family for not giving his partner the rights to his writing.

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If you thought going to school sucked as a kid, then you are not ready to hear about how much worse it is to grow up with a fundamentlist, paranoid father who has almost complete control over your family and forces you to work in a scrap yard as a young child. Tara Westover's memoir might be controversial but there is no denying that this is the reality for some children and it is horrifying. 

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Today's theme is orphans, kind of. Join us for a runaway who likes to make sure she is covered in soot prior to cooking for a king and loves to hide her jewelry at the bottom of bowl. We also have the boxcar kids out of the boxcar and into a home with their grandfather who happens to be friends with a video game designer because why no.

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People want to make divorce harder or maybe even get rid of it altogether, and why? Because they hate everyone who isn't a straight man. Divorce literally has saved lives and anyone who says we should get rid of it is just wrong and probably a facist.

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