Booked and Abandoned

We almost landed Jürgen Klopp this week… but instead got someone with more local flavour and he returned our calls.

Daniel Eisenhut — new Oratia United head coach — joins us to chat grassroots footy, coaching chaos, and why Auckland rain builds character. Plus: the wildest pre-game ritual yet, risking death for the Warriors, and what we would've asked Klopp (had he not ghosted us).

Tune in — the Spezi’s still cold.

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When Paolo Maldini bailed, Stuart Greenaway stepped up – and honestly, we think we got the better deal. A former Northern Ireland U17 international, Stuart brings stories from the pitch, tackles that could split timelines (including one that left his groin with a Harry Potter like scar), and his current work coaching the future stars with Total Football Technique in Auckland.

We talk grassroots glory, coaching philosophy, and the fine art of being a rock-solid left back – on and off the field. Maldini might've missed out, but we didn’t.

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We aimed for a Liverpool legend, but—much like a certain slip—he didn’t show.

So, we called in a true West Auckland battler: Robby Robinson! Tackles? Flying. Pitches? Dodgy. Ankles? Somehow still attached (just).

No slips, no dives—just a rock-solid episode.

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If you missed the first leg, well… good luck. This is part two, and context is everything.

Diego Maradona was technically unavailable… mostly because we forgot he was no longer with us. Classic admin fail.

But don’t worry—we’ve still got a living legend: Steve Cain! From Coventry City FC to top-level management, he’s done it all. Now, as Director of Football at Oratia United FC, he’s shaping NZ’s football future.

In this second leg, we pick up where we left off—covering everything from rocket launchers to literally cutting up pitches with a knife. It’s football chaos at its finest. Buckle up!

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Diego Maradona was technically unavailable… mostly because we forgot he was no longer with us. Classic admin fail.

But don’t worry—we’ve got a living legend instead: Steve Cain! From Coventry City FC to top-level management, he’s done it all. Now, as Director of Football at Oratia United FC, he’s shaping NZ’s football future.

We dive into his journey—from international management to leading Waitakere United. He had so much to share, we made this is to a two leg episode, enjoy the first leg!

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Brazilian Ronaldo was supposed to be here… but much like our five-a-side defensive structure, he vanished without a trace. Enter Monty—a police tournament champion, a goal machine if he doesn't say so himself.

We discuss his greatest triumphs, his worst injuries, and the moral dilemma of supporting Manchester United (booo!). Plus, we ponder the true cost of grassroots football—sprained ankles, shattered egos, and the occasional trip to the hospital after scoring a screamer.

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Dennis Bergkamp was supposed to be here… but much like our pre-match warm-ups, he never quite got off the ground. Enter Mike Hadnett—footballer, traveller, and the only man we know who can capture the beauty of grassroots football while dodging two-footed challenges.

Mike takes us through the chaos of away days in Argentina, the fine line between a strong tackle and a court case, and the unexpected places football can lead you—sometimes to love, sometimes to A&E.

Also, Mike is a sports photographer and a damn good one at that. Check out his work at mikehadnett.nz, because someone should be capturing these moments properly.

Listen now before we get hit with another retrospective red card.

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Roy Keane was supposed to be here… but much like our hopes and dreams, he vanished without a trace. Enter Kenny Walker—grassroots hero, airborne acrobat, and survivor of football-induced lung punctures. He takes us on a journey through the highs (bicycle kicks), the lows (not being able to breathe), and the existential crisis of never finding boots that fit.

Also, we finally got some proper sound equipment, so you can hear every word of our nonsense in crisp detail. Sorry about that.

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