Born to Be a Badass

Kinko Hamilton has a mission to heal the world. While she was taking a break from her holistic healing practice due to pregnancy or the delivery of her second son, she started learning martial arts thinking that she's learning self-defense. After several serious injuries, she started redefining what self-defense is and now she teaches Tony Blauer's SPEAR System as an official affiliate trainer. Kinko has also studied DTS which is Dacascos Tactical System, kyusho jitsu which is pressure-point self defense, and trauma-informed self-defense. She created and hosted the Women's Self-Defense Summit in 2020 and will continue to host it every year, gathering the world's top self-defense experts to educate women to live inspired and empowered. She's fluent in Japanese and plans to bring her work to her home country, Japan, in the near future. She's also the host of a great podcast called, "Rise Up Against Violence"

In this episode, Kinko and I discuss:

• Teaching both compassion and self-respect to children
• Experiencing violence in school and at home
• Changing your expectations
• Practical martial arts

Key Takeaways:

• Teach our kids to fight back when someone hits them and stand up for themselves when they're being victimized, but otherwise be kind and compassionate. Teach them to be a fighter with a good heart.
• People in authority in school don't often stand up for targeted children because of fear of dealing with the family of the child - but abuse will continue if nobody takes action.
• Accept what's happening - stop holding on to what should be or what should've been and see things for what they are.
• Martial arts and self-defense are different from each other. Just because you know one, doesn't mean you'll be good at the other.

"Embrace reality. Embrace the fact rather than holding on to an idea. Face the facts and go from there." — Kinko Hamilton

Connect with Kinko Hamilton:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hamiltonkinko/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KINKOHamiltonpage/

Podcast: https://goddesssway.com/riseupagainstviolence

Website: https://goddesssway.com/

Email: [email protected]

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

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Parmila Armitage is the Chief Impact Officer and Co-Founder of Studyviolence.com, an online resource with free online courses on violence prevention and defense. She is a violence prevention and defense teacher, certified trauma-sensitive yoga teacher, and a trauma-sensitive educator. She has created a Train The Trainer Program which educates self-defense and martial arts teachers how to conduct their classes in a trauma-informed and sensitive ways to better reach and empower her students. She has been working with survivors of abuse, sexual assault, domestic violence, and substance abuse disorder since 2016.

In this episode, Pamela and I discuss:

• Experiencing abuse during childhood
• Predators and narcississts in the entertainment industry, red flags to watch out for and how to survive
• Caring for your mental health state, recognizing emotional abuse, and utilizing yoga and marial arts
• The difference between trauma-informed and trauma-sensitive

Key Takeaways:

• Many targets of abuse tend to blame themselves for the crime done to them, but it's important that somebody tells them it's not their fault and the shame is not on the target but the perpetrator.
• We must teach people that predatory behavior and inappropriate comments disguised as jokes or comments are not okay, and could become the start of exploitation - it could be a predator testing the waters to see what they could get away with.
• Healing from trauma is possible through many paths, one of them being yoga. Preventing trauma can be done through learning self-defense.
• Take a step above being trauma-informed into being trauma-sensitive, learn to recognize the symptoms of trauma in your students if you are an educator who values trauma.

"Trauma is the root core of all our societal issues… from mental health struggles, substance abuse disorders, domestic violence… it is the core to all of the pain in our society. Violence causes trauma and trauma causes violence." — Pamela Armitage

Pamela's Book Recommendations:

Dr. Gabor Maté: https://drgabormate.com/book/ |

Bessel van der Kolk: https://www.amazon.com/Bessel-van-der-Kolk/e/B00OTHN2FA%3F

Daniel J. Siegel: https://www.amazon.com/Daniel-J.-Siegel/e/B00459LSPI%3F

Connect with Pamela Armitage:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/palmstrikepam

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pamela.sisson.73

Twitter: https://www.instagram.com/pamela.armitage.sv/

Email: mailto:[email protected]

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@studyofviolence

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamela-armitage-b05692104/

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Melissa Soalt is a truly badass pioneer in the world of women's self defense, the creator of Fierce and Female Self Defense, and my partner in this special series of Fierce and Female Fridays.

In this episode, Melissa and I discuss:

• Reconciling Buddha Nature and Killer Instinct.
• Acknowledging the violent potential as part of your personal identity.
• Women Warriors and Deadly Dames - looking into the history of women and violence
• Violence as a last resort when diplomacy fails

Key Takeaways:

• In a perfect world, there wouldn't be a need for violence to defend oneself. Your violent potential is always within you on reserve, ready for access whenever needed.
• First, violence is not always evil. And second, the potential for violence is a part of people, even good people.
• Get acquainted with your identity as a woman warrior. There have been many in history, in many cultures and nations - you'll find that you're not alone. There have been many women warriors and deadly dames.
• Fear is what oppressors and predators count upon.

"Women have always been warriors and deadly dames… When we discourage women from learning self-protection, we inadvertently encourage women to therefore submit to victimization." — Melissa Soalt

Connect with Melissa Soalt:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fierceandfemale/

Website: http://www.fierceandfemale.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-soalt-aka-dr-ruthless-a457456/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTwPfQoC4d7TTj6KPoR1J5w

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

In this episode, I discuss:

• The many different meanings of "self-defense" and what it actually is
• False beliefs on attracting violence, and the feeling of being too weak to protect yourself. Learning how to navigate through fear and other limiting beliefs - the cycle of behavior
• The truth about violence and how not all of it is bad
• Relying on tools and weapons to protect yourself and other self-defense myths

Key Takeaways:

• Self-defense is the act of choosing safety when danger is imminent. You don't have to wait to be struck, when you see imminent danger, you can pre-emptively make decisions that increases your chances to avoid violence or harrassment.
• Tap into the resources that you have, and be committed to not stop until they're unable to hurt you. Give yourself a chance to learn everything you need: principles, mindset and techniques to not be defenseless.
• Fear can never be eliminated. Fearlessness is not possible, but you can grow into someone who's more able to handle fear, someone who's able to navigate through fear.
• Think about the image of a momma bear - they would do anything, including using physical force, to protect their loved ones.

"You are your best weapon. Your best tools are your brain and your mindset." — Cynthia Jolicoeur Rood

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Charlotte is a Communications Consultant for Technology and Cybersecurity Companies that make today's enterprises and governments safer. In her off hours, she is passionate about personal privacy and cybersecurity. She has degrees in Communications and Criminal Justice with a focus on cybercrime and cybersecurity.

She was born and raised in Silicon Valley, earned a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do at age 10, and was a competitive amateur ballroom dancer for several years.

In this episode, Charlotte Jolicoeur and I discuss:

• Cybercrime and online harassment
• How to stay safe online
• The best way to manage your passwords
• The biggest threats to women in the online world

Key Takeaways:

• Anonymity in the internet is often seen as an opportunity by predators to commit crime
• Think about the information you're sharing online. Even if you don't think that there's any reason that anyone would target you, it's still important to keep safe and keep your personal posts private.
• Change your passwords, make them complicated. Chances are that you're reusing passwords. Once they crack that, they can get to your other accounts too.
• Look at your social media profiles and update all your security settings. What you're looking for is posts which show your location, workplace, schedule, frequent places, home address.
• Google yourself. Google your information, your phone number, email and full name to see where your information has been posted. There's so much about us that's available out there that we don't know about.

"Go through your friends group and connections, and make sure that you are connecting with people that you trust with your information. Limit your information to everybody else." — Charlotte Jolicoeur

Check out this website to know if you're email or contact number has been acquired online: https://haveibeenpwned.com/

Connect with Charlotte Jolicoeur:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/cajolicoeur

Website: https://athenacomms.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/athenacomms/

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Mary Stevens is a third degree black belt and martial arts instructor with 18 years experience with Karate, weapons and Jujitsu. She holds a master's degree from Oxford University and a post-graduate certificate in education. She runs her own Martial Arts School called the Athena School of Karate, has written a series of children's books and works with an international charity called Fair Fight which empowers young girls in developing countries, using Karate as a tool to develop confidence and self-determination. Mary is passionate about martial arts as a tool for confidence building and is a strong advocate for personal security education.

In this episode, Mary and I discuss:

• Tips for women for finding and learning about their strengths and weaknesses
• Going through an abusive or manipulative relationship and how to get out
• Educating young men and women about avoiding and defending one's self from abuse
• How martial arts lessons translate to other parts of life

Key Takeaways:

• Attending martial arts classes is not only about self-defense, but self-empowerment. Finding your strength is not only in practical arts, but can also be found in reading good books.
• When going through abuse, try to see the bigger picture. Taking action to distance yourself from your abuser might be a tough decision, but it's the only one that's good. To know if you're getting gaslit, write everything down.
• It's important that we teach the youth today, both young men and women, what it's like to be in a healthy relationship in order that they may not fall into an abusive or manipulative relationship.
• Martial arts can cultivate confidence, discipline, and self-determination - while also of course, giving one more ability to protect themselves.

"A good martial artist is a good learner on all different environments" — Mary Stevens

Connect with Mary Stevens:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/maryffwarrior

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/athenakarate/

Website: https://athenakarate.mymamembers.com/

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, or are a survivor, healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

In this episode, we discuss:

• The most important technique for being safe, our first line of defense
• What happens in the absence of boundaries
• Setting firm boundaries
• Defending yourself when somebody crosses your boundaries and knowing when your boundaries are violated

Key Takeaways:

• Set and defend firm boundaries, it will prevent attacks. Setting boundaries is our right. Our ability to set them is what makes us far less vulnerable to intrusion, manipulation, or attacks.
• Predators and abusers see the absence of boundaries as a power vacuum - weak boundaries is what they look for. If somebody intrudes on your boundaries, it's not your fault. But it's your right and your responsibility to set boundaries.
• Acknowledge your intuition if something doesn't feel right. Assert your feelings to someone who's making you feel uncomfortable, and get ready to back up that assertion because it will be challenged.
• Predators are looking for a way to control and get to someone's mind; small acts of denial of their control can save your life. Assert your limits, speak firmly.
• Setting boundaries is our first line of defense, if a predator crosses that, you have to take further actions to defend yourself. Yell, tell them to back away. If that doesn't work, prepare to defend yourself physically.

"Setting limits around our mind, our authority, our sense of self, it's what keeps us intact as having the ownership over our own lives and determining what's around us." — Cynthia Jolicoeur

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today! Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated! If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected] To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

In this episode, I discuss:

• Common examples of and statistics on street harassment
• How street harassment can affect targets
• What you can do about street harassment if you're a target
• A larger perspective on street harassment, more solutions for protecting yourself from predators and reasons behind predatory behavior

Key Takeaways:

• It's not productive to engage harassers. Your number one goal is being safe, not teaching an asshole a lesson.
• Most harassers are generally harmless, but some are actually predators - listen to your intuition, pay attention to what your primal survival system is telling you.
• Be prepared to take action when you need to. When they move from verbal to physical, you absolutely have to act. You may ask a bystander to walk with you, draw attention to people around, or fight. Do whatever it takes to drive them away.
• There's nothing wrong with you. You have the right to take space in this world, a right to go about your life unimpeded, and fend off unwanted unwelcome comments, gestures and touching. Walk confidently, listen to your intuition and don't let predators take your joy away from you.

"Your body and your life are worth protecting. So be prepared to do whatever it takes to protect yourself." — Cynthia Jolicoeur Rood

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Mytrae Meliana is a Women's Empowerment and Spiritual Teacher, a Holistic Psychotherapist, Trauma Expert, speaker and author. She leads workshops and programs for women that empower them to heal from trauma, liberate themselves from patriarchy, and connect with the divine feminine so that they can live true, bold, inspired lives. Mytrae is also the founder of Temple of Sound Healing, which teaches Sound Healing to Health and Wellness Practitioners and Social Justice Community Leaders. An immigrant from India, Mytrae shares her story of healing, empowerment, and awakening in her memoir: "Brown Skin Girl: An Indian-American Woman's Magical Journey From Broken To Beautiful".

In this episode, Mytrae and I discuss:

• Seeking a way out in an abusive relationship
• How children are affected by abuse - signs to watch out for and how they may cope
• Knowing your rights as a human being
• The clash between individuality and family, culture and religion

Key Takeaways:

• Acknowledge when you discover that you're living a lie and letting your freedom be limited by other people - you have the capacity to break free and make it on your own, even if it doesn't feel like it.
• It's important to explain sexual boundaries to your child; they might be getting abused but don't have the language to express to you what they're going through
• Own and proclaim your freedom, don't follow the train tracks of control and expectation, and build your own life.
• Your culture might tell you that God is angry at you or that you are bad, but there's never a moment that you're not loved by the Divine.

"Taking the baby steps when I couldn't chart out anything in my life was a way to crawl forward in my life… we're scared and daunted of what we have to do but take that one step… that's plenty. It's a way to build that muscle and move… you'll be stuck, unless you keep moving " — Mytrae Meliana

Check out Mytrae's book, "Brown Skin Girl", here: https://mytraemeliana.com/brown-skin-girl/

Connect with Mytrae Meliana:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mytraemeliana

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mytraemeliana/

Website: https://mytraemeliana.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mytraemeliana/

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin

Cindy Villanueva is a memoirist and an inspirational writer with a passion for helping women achieve lives of strength and joy. She's the author of a terrific book called "Don't Fight Mad: A Black Belt's Quest To Recapture Joy" and she is the co-author of "Finding Our Wings: Seven Entrepreneurs on Reclaiming Hope and Power". Cindy is a seventh degree black-belt master instructor and the owner of Ernie Reyes' World Martial Arts. Her love of teaching led her to be an adjunct professor at Concordia University of Texas where she teaches undergraduate marketing and graduate marketing management and leadership. She speaks regularly on leadership and women in business. Cindy has four children and two grand-children and she splits her time between Austin, Texas and New Smyrna Beach, Florida.

In this episode, Cindy and I discuss:

• Difference between progression in girls and boys when learning self-defense
• How to set healthy boundaries and how to communicate effectively
• Navigating through fear and dealing with it healthily
• Warning signs of an unhealthy or a potentially dangerous relationship

Key Takeaways:

• Don't be afraid to change. Be the person who you're designed to be, that person can change and that's okay.
• To learn self-defense quicker, be comfortable with getting hurt and be ready to hurt. Sometimes violence is appropriate. Not all kinds of violence are evil.
• Think about the upside of embracing that fear vs capitulating to that fear. If you choose the latter, you would be less than who you are designed to be and who you're capable of being.
• Don't instantly dismiss yourself when you feel something is wrong. Trust your intuition and make an informed decision.

"As soon as you hear or start saying the word 'should', run the other direction… there shouldn't be a should, everyone is different. Figure out who you are… and what brings you joy." — Cindy Villanueva

Connect with Cindy Villanueva:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/KnockoutMrktg

Website: http://www.cindyvillanueva.com/ | http://www.komarketingstrategies.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindyvillanueva/detail/contact-info/

CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA:

If you'd like to chat with Cynthia, sign up for your Personal Safety Preparedness Consultation with her today!

Remember to subscribe to "Born to Be A Badass" so that you don't miss a single episode, and join us in the "Born to Be A Badass Collective" group on Facebook. While you're at it, won't you take a moment to write a short review and rate our show? It would be greatly appreciated!

If you work in the self-defense world, are a survivor, a healer or otherwise BADASS woman and you would like to be interviewed by Cynthia, reach out at [email protected]

To learn more about previous guests, listen to past episodes, and get to know your host, go to Apple Podcasts or here.

Connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Linkedin