Boss Foundations

Why does learning matter? A lot of people feel ashamed about learning, especially when it doesn't come easily. But instead of feeling ashamed, I have learned shamelessly, and it's been absolutely life-changing and one of the foundational pillars of my success. Here's how to do it, and the impact it can make in your life.

My story

It may seem that learning was always a big part of my life because I was a full-fledged academic until I quit my tenured professor position in 2017 to run Sabbatical Beauty full-time. But learning and intelligence were a source of shame for me when I was growing up.

I grew up in Singapore, where education is extremely socially important, and the educational system is rigorous and punitive. At 12, all Singapore students need to take a national exam that ranks you and determines how competitive a school you're allowed to attend and is seen as a mark of who you're going to be in the future.

I did terribly.

I couldn't continue in my prestigious school, and was socially shunned and disapproved of. It was a hurtful experience, and the trauma of that is what led me later on to pursue a PhD, just to show to the system that shamed me that I was intelligent and could still be successful.

From learning = shame, to shamelessly learning

When I decided I was going to learn shamelessly instead of feeling ashamed, I started to branch out into learning many different things... things I was actually really bad at! But I developed a thick skin about it and stuck with it until I became somewhat competent (like, for example, dance-inspired exercise classes!).

Being okay with being poor at something — and not being afraid of appearing that way to others — is what I mean by learning shamelessly.

Shame once kept me from learning. But the thirst for knowledge kept me going. I learn I could make mistakes, make blunders, forget, relearn everything, zone out, refocus, try again, keep at it. All of this is normal. What's not normal is powering through the discomfort — that's what will make you stand out from everyone else.

How to learn as quickly as possible

This technique is called active note-taking. Make sure you always take notes when you're learning something, because just the act of doing so makes sure you're engaged with the material.

When you're taking notes, don't write everything down. Listen for:

• The main points
• The secondary points that support the main point
• Examples that illustrate these points

Then, as soon as you're done, write a summary of what you've learned in complete sentences, as if you were teaching it to a friend.

This technique of active note-taking helps you (1) effectively remember what you've learned and (2) figure out the gaps in your knowledge.

I want to hear from you

Join the Sabbatical Beauty Facebook Group and share your experiences with active note-taking! I can't wait to see you start learning shamelessly.

Resources

Sabbatical Beauty Facebook Group

Sabbatical Beauty Episode Guide

On a scale of 1-10, how confident do you feel right now? If you're not feeling confident, don't worry, you're not alone. If you are feeling confident, have you ever been told to rein it in with admonitions like, "be more humble" or "you're being arrogant?" On today's episode of the Boss Foundations podcast, we're discussing CONFIDENCE: why it's so common to not feel confident, and my top three tips for manifesting confidence when you feel at your lowest.

What society says

When you appear confident, society tells you you're too ambitious, or selfish, or asking to be taken down a peg. But when you internalize the negative messages and act tentatively, you're seen as less competent and less worthy of promotions and raises.

It's a double-edged sword: appear to have confidence and you're dinged, act like you have none and you're dinged in a completely different way. So what can we do?

Despite all the drama, confidence is still integral to success, so we have to be confident anyway. It's what allows you to put learning into practice, make big leaps, and do things that scare you. Here are my tips on manifesting confidence.

Focus on the people you serve in life.

Who do you serve? How does your work make their lives better? How can you improve your work so that it improves their lives? What kind of joy are you bringing them? Take the focus off of you and how you're feeling, and focus on what you're doing for others.

Tune out the "Blue Meanies"

The Blue Meanies is a reference to a fictional army of music-hating beings in the Beatles cartoon film Yellow Submarine. Many of us have our own Blue Meanies: the voices in your head that tell you you're stupid, that you have no idea what you're talking about, that you're too arrogant.

Tune out these Blue Meanies by focusing on your work. You don't serve the Blue Meanies, you serve your people.

Assume that you're entitled to good things

Channel the energy of that amazing meme: "Lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man." Instead of doubting yourself or thinking that you "shouldn't" do this or that, ask first. Speak up first. Don't talk yourself out of it. Very often, the results will surprise you.

(If you don't want to assume the privilege and entitlement of a white guy, channel instead the energy of the record number of women, LGBT folk, and people of color who ran for office in the 2016 midterms — the energy of people who have had enough.)

It comes down to just having the audacity to go for it, and seeing what happens.

Share your story

Have you ever had a time where you struggled to feel confident? What did you do to change things? Let me know in our Facebook Group!

Resources

Sabbatical Beauty Facebook Group

Sabbatical Beauty Episode Guide

Have you ever found yourself putting out fires nonstop — even before you've had the chance to finish your morning coffee? What if I told you that you can put an end to those kinds of days forever? On this episode of Boss Foundations, we're talking about strategy, the third and final pillar of the Boss Foundations framework, and I'm going to share with you one of my best strategies for staying sane, particularly when you're super stressed.

Having a morning routine

A good, solid morning routine allows you to start your day with intention instead of reaction. It's the difference between meeting the day head-on and running your day versus being exhausted because your day ran you. Beginning with a morning routine allows you to gather your energy, sort out everything you have to do, and begin the day with calm and quiet in your head. Even if plans change, and even if you get tired, at the end of the day, you'll feel a massive sense of accomplishment for everything you got done.

One of the more common objections to beginning a morning routine is not having enough time for one. You can't possibly wake up earlier or add yet another item to your to-do list — but ironically enough, having one in place gives you back more hours in your day, because you're knocking out to-do items more quickly and effectively.

Let me tell you about my morning routine.

Taking my dog out and giving him breakfast

I like taking care of the needs of someone who depends on me first before I proceed with the rest of my routine. In certain circumstances, you may not be able to do this before the rest of your routine, so I share some tips on how to modify this action.

Physical therapy stretches and exercise

Starting your day with movement has what psychologists call a grounding affect: it makes you aware of your body and where you are in that space and time. It doesn't matter if it's gentle stretching or running a 10k, the point is to move your body for at least a few minutes.

Breakfast

There's a reason breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Aside from nutritional benefits, it gives me a sense of calm and I don't need to worry about getting hungry when I work!

Review and plan

I go through my notes and weekly task list and write down my plan for the day. Physically writing things down helps direct your thoughts and kickstart your brain, and by visualizing your plan, you make it more likely to achieve. I use a physical journal to do this, and I walk you through each step of this action in more detail.

Final thoughts

You don't necessarily need to have all of these elements in your routine, and you don't have to do them in the same order I do. Eventually, you're going to decide what's important to you and you'll create your own routine from there.

Share your story

Do you already have an existing morning routine? What are your favorite steps, and how do they make you feel more productive? Let me know in our Facebook Group!

Resources

Sabbatical Beauty Facebook Group

Sabbatical Beauty Episode Guide

There is a secret to success... and you don't need to change who you are to be successful. Host Adeline Koh will lay down the foundations to being a badass boss: from learning to confidence to wicked-smart strategy, you'll discover how to take yourself from where you are to where you want to be We'll get straight to the point without the fluff. It's time to build YOUR foundations for the future.